A graveyard at midnight. Eerily calm. A low mist rolls over the landscape. Even the stars are afraid to come out, veiled as they are by the black clouds. Only the moon dares show its face, a full moon, at that.
Suddenly, the ground is disturbed. A dozen mice and insects scuttle away, frightened by the vibrations. One of the tombstones falls over from the shaking. A rotting hand plunges out of the ground! Clawing its way out, you see a ragged form, perhaps human once, half-decayed, emerge from the dirt. In a guttural, rasping voice, you hear it say –
"I live once more..."
Okay, so I haven't really been dead, but for all intents and purposes, I have been BURIED. My computer problems are finally over; for behold! A new computer, just for me! Check out all its majesty.
*Doo-do-do!*
Well, I guess you can't really see it from here, but it's far superior to my old one. Which basically means it's mediocre, as my old one was a piece of crap. But hey! I'm on a limited budget.
Due to the angels from heaven that must work at the repair shop, all my data was successfully restored, and intact! My comp was kaput, but my programs and files (and story) were saved to this one! Let's hear a CHEER!
Man...after a slump of precisely one month, I return to you, with an extra long chapter, on the one-year anniversary of my story! Talk about your coincidences. No, I didn't plan it this way, it just worked out. Funny little world, ain't it?
But you don't want to hear me ramble on, you want to read the story! Which you will! As soon as I show you these REVIEWS!!!!!
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Kai19: Inuyasha, despite all appearances to the contrary, is not completely stupid. He has a method to his madness. * I'm trying to steer him away from the perfect-character image he had in the early part of the story. * I really don't want to be Sota right now, I can tell you that. It's just...nasty.
Lunar Inuyasha: Yes...you know of my plight. I hate writer's block, but until someone invents "creativity juice", there's no way around it.
Silver Warrior: Yep. Inuyasha and Kagome, like that, will do that to you.
Elventeen: It DID seem to overstep the bounds a bit, so I toned it down. There's always my two lemon chapters if you're insatiable like that.
hersheykiss1012: Would now be a bad time to say that I've never been drunk before in my life? Well...once I was a little buzzed, but that really doesn't count. Could it be the power of my IMAGINAAAAATION!!!
Chi Master: I wrote it that way, for the dirty-minded people, and the clean-minded people. Or whatever. * Yeah, this story turned out to be a lot longer than I thought it would.
Lasako: I was wondering where you'd scuttled off to. I thought "Perhaps she lost interest? Perhaps her house burned down? Perhaps she got locked up in a mental hospital?" Phone bill, however mundane, seems to be the answer. * I don't have YIM or AIM, so I'll just scream at you through this. YEEAARGGH!!!! * P.S. Working on it. * P.P.S. Yes. Yes, I do. v_v;;
Celestra: But WHY was it necessary? * About Kai: Which is why whenever we exchange ideas, we do it by email. Keeps the noses of the masses out of it. * I've been there, and let me tell you, it's mighty confusing reading just the words and having no pictures to go by. It leaves me wondering what's actually going on. Half the time I'm not sure.
Megu-Sama: I'm betting on it; if not this story, then the next one.
Ashley Songer: WOOT!
Lasako: Yes I do. MWAHAHAHAHA!
Valdimarian: Regardless of whether she wanted little grandchildren, it's still a bit of a shock to see your 19-year-old daughter in bed with the man you think she loves. Especially when they're not married.
Valdimarian: The Book...the Book... (inside joke)
Valdimarian: I don't know about Baku-Riu-Ha (and that's the fourth way I've seen it spelled) OR Red Tetsusaiga. I need to get more in the know, ne? This is what I get for not reading the whole manga. Meh...it's not here in the States.
Valdimarian: I suffer defiance from no man! (Err, woman. Umm...what ARE you?) Take this, you! STORY DELAYED ATTACK!
Valdimarian: Haha! I watch Rurouni Kenshin as well! Your hitokiri will not defeat the skills of Tobias! (That's right, folks, since I own him, when he isn't rampaging about, he's my bodyguard.) You could just EMAIL me the episodes, attaching them one at a time...it's a bit tedious, but if you REALLY want me to be that accurate, you'd take the effort.
Valdimarian: I'm not saying whether you're right or wrong, but next time you get a plot-spoiling revelation like that, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, ne? I don't want people getting that all in their heads. Or email it to me. * Why SHOULDN'T she be able to heal herself? I don't see why not...
Valdimarian: I spell it the way the TV show spells it. Phonetics schmonetics. Even phonetics isn't spelled the way it sounds! (Delicious irony!) Ah, but you forget, I haven't thought of a good ending yet! If you consume my mind and soul, you'll be stuck without an ending FOREVER!
Valdimarian: English is quite a fucked-up language, you have that right.
Valdimarian: Don't get ahead of yourself, assuming things. That's like your previous "revelation". Is it right? Is it wrong? Either way, DON'T GIVE IT AWAY!
Valdimarian: I try not to think about it and hope it all goes away. * I'll check into that episode, if I can find it. I don't have Kazaa, or any access to later episodes of Inuyasha (I'm at the mercy of Cartoon Network), so I'm in a bit of a spot when it comes to Baku-Riu-Ha and things like that.
Mitsuki-kun (Aw, how sweet! Kun???): I'm gonna get rid of that chappie...in about ten minutes, when I'm done writing all this. Good? Good.
Chi Master: If there's one thing I hate about fanfiction.net (and there are many many things), it's that they change their ideas about spacing every ten freakin' seconds. I have to constantly juggle the spaces to keep up.
omnitoad: Love the reviews (the power of those three symbols is unimaginable...more on that later), but next time, kindly add a little more than that? Like some comments?
DemonSorceress: I PLAN TO!
Ship – er, hersheykiss1012: I will get this story told if I have to go up to each and every one of you and read it to you personally! I'm determined, and nothing, be it computer death or ff.net failure or a meteor crashing into the East Coast, will stop me now!
Kodachi Claws: 1) You underestimate Tybalt. Methinks he will become veeery important soon enough...*evil grin* 2) I'm adding a bit of light-heartedness and sensuality before I plunge back into the dark and depressing world that frankly, they all live in. 3) Not if the powers of the thunder sword are still less than that of the ice sword. And who said anything about the ice SWORD being stronger than the flame SWORD?! They're all the same strength, it's how you use it that counts. 4) Tybalt? He's just some guy. It's those swords that are important.
Kegger007: Your wish is my command. In this drunken haze that our heroes will fall into this chapter, THERE WILL BE SINGING!
Valdimarian: Of course, NOW you take my advice...(j/k)...Update time is NOW! I just hope you'll remember.
Lasako: That's one theory. But I prefer quality over...time. Which explains the wait, but not the crappy chapters. Sigh...I can't have either. *shoots self* Kidding. * Some of my best friends are airheads! * I have Der Wille Zu Macht, or, for those who don't speak German or haven't played Xenosaga, The Will To Make. (If I misspelled that, just kill me now.)
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And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...SSSSSTTTTTOOOOORRRRRYYYYY!!!!!
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Chapter 54: In The Club
Tobias emerged from his room. Jeeves had many items spread out on a long table in front of him. Tobias grinned, sorting through them.
"Cigarettes...check." He pocketed several packs of cigarettes and a small red lighter.
"Money...check." He picked up a small leather pouch. "These are from the right era and country, right, Jeeves?"
"Feudal Japan, sir. I admit I always wondered why you kept around money from every place and time you visited," Jeeves said with a slight smile.
"Actually, I was just collecting them. But hey! I have them when I need them. Convenient, eh?" Jeeves nodded slightly. "So what else is there..." Tobias perused the objects.
"Ammunition for pistol...check." Two black clips of ammunition were deposited into Tobias's pockets.
"Of course, sir."
"Inuyasha and Kagome..." Tobias paused. "Where the hell ARE Inuyasha and Kagome?"
They chose this moment to walk into the room (dressed again). Inuyasha was grinning like a maniac, and Kagome's face was slightly flushed.
"Well. Now that you two have had your fun, and I've selected my hardware..." He brandished a jet black pistol, which he tucked into one of his many pockets. "I'd say we're about ready to go and PARTY. But first..."
Tobias turned to Inuyasha. "Inuyasha, remember when I said I was going to go incognito? That I would disguise myself somehow?"
"Yeah...so?"
"So this affects you too. Come on." Puzzled, Inuyasha shrugged and followed Tobias into another room. Kagome stood in the doorway while Tobias fiddled with a locked box.
"I got this little artifact two thousand years ago, give or take a century," said Tobias. He unlocked the box and pulled out a scroll. "Very useful. Very powerful." Kagome's eyes widened a little. Even without sensing its aura, she could feel the power emanating from it. She walked into the room.
"But what actually IS it?" said Inuyasha.
"I'll show you." Tobias unrolled the scroll and held it in front of him. He closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he released the scroll, and it hung in the air. It started to glow. Small tendrils of light crept from the scroll and flowed onto Tobias. More and more the brightness grew, until even Inuyasha had to shield his eyes from the glare.
When the light faded, Tobias was rolling up the scroll in his hands. But he looked...different.
His skin was darker, he was taller than before, his eyes were deep blue instead of black, his clothes were regular street clothes, his hair was spiky black instead of red. His armor was gone, and his sword was nowhere to be seen.
"What...did you just do?" said a very puzzled Inuyasha.
"I magically disguised myself," said Tobias. Even his voice had changed, a rich baritone instead of the mellow timbre it usually was. "This scroll allows the user to look like anything he or she wants. You just visualize what you want to look like, and there you are."
"Where did you get something like that?" asked Kagome.
"The oracle at Delphi, in ancient Greece. Her temple was under siege from some Visigoths, and I turned them back. As a reward, she blessed this scroll with the power of Apollo and gave it to me. She must have realized that I would have trouble going around looking like I did..."
"Wait a second. Where's your sword and armor?" demanded Inuyasha. Tobias smiled.
"It just LOOKS different, Inuyasha..." Tobias reached down to his waist. His hand grabbed something invisible, but as he pulled his hand away, the hilt of his sword became visible. "It's disguised." He resheathed his sword and turned to Inuyasha. "The reason I said this affects you too, is that...well, you could use some disguising, too."
Inuyasha bristled. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"To put it bluntly, Inuyasha, a lot of people are going to notice someone walking around in a fire-rat kimono, with a sword at his side...and dog ears." Tobias glanced upward at his ears. "They kind of make you stand out."
"So...you want me to look like that?"
"No. Look like whatever you want. Just try to blend in." Tobias handed Inuyasha the scroll. "Just unroll it and visualize what you want to look like." Inuyasha shrugged and took the scroll.
He mimicked Tobias's actions, holding it in front of him. As before, it started to glow, and the glow spread slowly to him. The light shined brightly, then began to fade. Tobias looked at Inuyasha's new form.
He looked exactly the same as usual, except his ears were human-looking. Tobias facefaulted and Kagome giggled.
"I think the idea is to look at least moderately normal, Inuyasha," said Tobias from the floor.
"What? I look fine. Let's go." Kagome walked over, still giggling.
"I'll just tell you...he's right, you really can't go out like that. First, you should get a normal shirt and pants instead of your kimono..." Kagome began to lecture him on how to look.
After a few more tries, Inuyasha looked normal enough to pass for a human. He was wearing street clothes and Tetsusaiga couldn't be seen. Grumbling about how stupid he looked, Inuyasha came out to join Tobias.
"Goody. Now that we're all ready to go, I have a proposition for you, Kagome."
"What?"
"Care to join us?" Kagome looked puzzled. "Yeah, you'll be coming with us...what I mean to say is, care to join us in our drunken stupor? Ever had a drink before?"
"No..." said Kagome hesitantly. "I wasn't of age. Besides, shouldn't at least one of us stay sober?"
"That's an old wives' tale." Tobias walked out of the armory and beckoned for the other two to come with him. "I tell you, some of the best times I've ever had was when my whole group was drunk. I remember this one bit, about fourteen hundred years ago, I was with a bunch of Vikings, and we had just tapped a couple of barrels of apple brandy." They walked out the door and came next to the car.
"We were so drunk, we couldn't stand up straight." He started to chuckle just from the memory. "Then a group of bandits tried to rob us!" Tobias laughed while Inuyasha stared at him oddly. "Even when they're drop-dead drunk, Vikings are still some of the fiercest warriors you'll ever find. But imagine me, with all my fancy maneuvers, fighting drunk!" He roared with laughter, leaned up against the side of the car.
"Are you sure you're not drunk now?" said Inuyasha skeptically.
"No, just jovial. Shall we?" Jeeves opened the door, and Inuyasha and Kagome climbed in. Jeeves was about to shut the door behind them when Tobias interposed himself.
"Hang on there, Jeeves, I'm going in with them. We're going to...umm...well, you know the clubs around here...I've told you enough of them...just pick out a good one." Jeeves nodded as Tobias climbed into the back with Kagome and Inuyasha.
Inuyasha let out a very, very faint growl as Tobias sat down across from them.
"Oh, come off it, Inuyasha," said Tobias heartily. "You've had plenty of time alone, you two, now it's time for us to actually sit and TALK for once."
"Feh. We've talked enough."
"What about you, Kagome? Interested?"
"What's there to talk about, really?" asked Kagome.
"Well...I've been wanting for a while to regale you with stories from my past. I have had an interesting life, no doubt about that. After the whole bit with Alarion, I went to the Middle East. Of course, they didn't CALL it the Middle East in those days, so..." Tobias kept blathering on about some stupid things about his past. But neither Inuyasha nor Kagome was really listening.
Kagome was listening in the beginning, but that changed abruptly when she felt a warm feeling on the inside of her thigh. She looked down to see Inuyasha's hand slipping under her skirt. Blushing, she looked back up at him to see a glint in his eyes. Quiet, he seemed to be saying. Not a word.
How can he think about doing this NOW? In front of Tobias? He'll see us in a second! Kagome glanced at Tobias to see him deep in heavy lecture mode, oblivious to all around him except his topic. He didn't even appear to notice them. What if he sees us? Inuyasha's going a little too – oh...ohhhhh...
"...and that was how I got the idea to name it 'Mesopotamia'. Didn't catch on for a while, though. The natives and I didn't exactly speak the same language." Tobias blinked and looked at Inuyasha. He did not, however, notice Inuyasha's oddly-placed hand, or the look on Kagome's face. (A/N: Why not? Because he's an unobservant schmuck.)
"Umm...where was I?"
"Something about Mesotuhpamia or something," said Inuyasha drolly.
"Righto. But I don't think you know what that is, so I'll save those stories for another time. What I really want to know is how you got that sword."
"I never told you?"
"If you had, why would I ask you?" said Tobias dryly.
Inuyasha snorted. "It was made by that weird old guy we were talking to, Toutousai."
"The same weird old guy who forged the Three?"
"Yeah, him. It was forged from one of my father's fangs."
"Your father?" Tobias seemed to be getting interested. "You never said anything about your father."
"He was a great and powerful demon lord. He had Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga forged from two of his fangs for me and my idiotic brother."
"Did he now. Planning ahead, that guy." Tobias took out a cigarette and was about to light it, but a swift glare from Inuyasha stopped him. "Maybe later," he offered as he put it back in the box. "One thing I've never understood is why he gave his half-demon son the destructive sword and his full-demon son the healing sword. Funny little world, ain't it."
"Yeah...I guess so," murmured Inuyasha. Let's just say his focus was not on the conversation.
"I think I can beat you this time, Inuyasha," said Tobias suddenly.
Inuyasha looked up. "Beat me? At what?"
"Drinking." Inuyasha's face lit up.
"Are you kidding me? You're just a human. I can handle ten times as much drink as you can and walk it off."
"Don't make me laugh, Inuyasha," said Tobias with a wry smile. "I have personally witnessed you unable to stand after drinking half of what I did."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Kagome gave a choked groan. Tobias glanced at her, and Inuyasha hurriedly withdrew his hand.
"What's wrong, Kagome?"
"Nothing..." She shook her head, her face flushed. "I just...well, I stubbed my toe on the door."
"Ouch. I don't have that problem..." Tobias indicated his armored boots. "That's why I love wearing greaves. I could kick down a stone wall and barely feel it." That expression Kagome had... he thought as he talked. Could it be...nah. Inuyasha's not that bold.
I gotta give her credit on this one, thought Inuyasha cheerfully. She stayed quiet right up until the end. Kagome has an iron will sometimes.
"Just one thing, though..." Tobias's brow furrowed. "I'm disguised for a reason. I don't want people knowing who I am. So when we're in the club, don't call me Tobias, okay? Call me...uhh...Alex. Alex is a good name." He glanced out the window. "Ah, and we're here." The car pulled to a halt.
Inuyasha saw a giant neon sign reading THE HOUSE OF BOOZE. There was a smaller sign under it that said Those are not valets. Do NOT leave your car with them. (A/N: Much props to Hsu and Chan by Norm Scott for this valuable joke.)
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The General turned to the witch. Through the small window cut into the stone wall, all that could be seen was a series of bright, rapidly changing colors. A demon came up and shut the blinds.
"What must I do now, Grizelda? The fifth seal is broken, leaving only two more to go."
"Ah, but the last two are the most difficult, Lieutenant." The witch giggled as she turned to her cauldron, adding a pinch of eye of newt. "It'll be another week at least before the seventh seal can be breached." She turned to him and looked at him with her good eye. "You did a heck of a job, way back then, General, I'm surprised we can even get to it as it is."
"In any case, is there anything that needs to be done? What is the next step in the summoning process?" the General said.
"We wait."
"Wait?" The General arched an eyebrow. "No magic rituals? No blood sacrifices? No contribution of essence? All we do is wait?"
"All we do is wait," cackled the witch. "The ingredients need to stew for at least...eh, I'd say thirty-six hours. Then we can proceed."
"So we have thirty-six hours with nothing to do?" asked the General.
"That's about the size of it. Made any plans?" said the witch. The General turned away. Perhaps there is something I can do with this time... he thought.
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Having paid the cover charge and bribed the bouncer, Inuyasha, Kagome, and Tobias were in the club. Inuyasha immediately darted over to the area where liquor was being served. He grabbed a cup, but Tobias knocked it from his hand. Inuyasha growled and glared at Tobias.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"You don't start drinking yet, Inuyasha," Tobias said plaintively. "First we dance...well, WE don't dance, but you and Kagome dance, and I just do whatever, and enjoy ourselves. THEN we drink. You can't dance when you're drunk...nobody can."
Kagome smiled and led Inuyasha out to the dance floor. It was rather full, and they had to push to get a spot. Tobias meandered over to the deejay's table, handed him some money, and made a brief suggestion on what song to play.
As Tobias made his way through the crowd, the opening beats of the song began to play.
Shake that thing
Miss Kana Kana
Shake that thing Miss Annabella
Shake that thing yo Donna Donna
Jodi and Rebecca
"Tob – uhh, Alex!" hissed Inuyasha. "I don't know HOW to dance!"
"Oh, it's easy. Just watch everyone else and do what they do." Inuyasha looked at Tobias, who shrugged, then at Kagome, who also shrugged, then shrugged himself and decided to just go with it.
Woman get busy
Just shake that booty non-stop
When the beat drops
Just keep swingin' it
Inuyasha looked at some of the other people, who were dancing in that odd way that people dance to Sean Paul's phat beats. He started to imitate them.
Get jiggy
Get crunked up
Percolate anything you wan fi call it
Oscillate you hip and don't take pity
Kagome was having a lot of fun, her hair flying as she danced suggestively around Inuyasha. Picking up cues from the other dancers, she started also to pick up the pace.
Me want fi see you get live 'pon the riddim when me ride
And me lyrics a provide electrixity
Gal nobody can tell you nuttin'
Can you done know ya destiny
Kagome started to grin. She had a great idea. Moving around Inuyasha, she "accidentally" brushed up against him. His eyes went wide as he looked in her direction. She smiled coyly in response, then bumped her hips up against his. A feral grin appeared on Inuyasha's face. Kagome took Inuyasha by the hand and led him, grinning, off the dance floor and to a conveniently situated empty room.
Yo sexy ladies
want par with us
In a the car with us
Them nah war with us
In a the club them want flex with us
To get next to us
Them nah vex wit' us
From the day me born jah ignite ma flame gal a call ma name and it is ma Fame
It's all good girl turn me on
'Til a early morn'
Let's get it on
Let's get it on 'til a early morn'
Girl it's all good just turn me on
By the time the song ended, Tobias, breathless from his exertion, scanned the dance floor for Inuyasha and Kagome. Where are those two? he wondered. Shrugging, he started up his motions again as the next song began.
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After a few songs had passed, Tobias had really started to wonder. He left the dance floor and went looking at the various doors that led to various other rooms in the place. He approached door after door with no luck whatsoever. Did they leave without me? No...they have no means of transportation.
Coming upon a fairly inconspicuous door, Tobias was startled to hear noises from inside. Flattening against the wall, he edged closer, trying to see what was going on. The voices sounded awfully familiar...
*WHAM*
The door opened fast. Inuyasha stepped out, Kagome right behind him. Both of them grinning like idiots, they went back to the dance floor.
The door swung slowly shut again, to reveal Tobias holding his nose and the back of his head in obvious pain. They just HAD to make the door out of oak, didn't they. That's what I get for going to a high-class club.
"Alex! What are you doing back there? Come on!" Kagome tugged at Tobias's sleeve. Wincing slightly, Tobias rejoined with them.
"While I wait for the bleeding to slow down, what shall we do next?" said Tobias.
"Now we drink," said Inuyasha emphatically.
"You just can't be diverted, can you, Inuyasha," said Tobias, amused. "Listen, Kagome, do you want to have some? It won't kill you..."
"I don't think I should..." said Kagome hesitantly.
"Kagome." Tobias came up close to Kagome. "The decision is yours to make, but let me just impress something upon you. When we go back to your time, if the General finds us, there's a high chance he'll kill us all. Do you really want to die without getting drunk at least once?"
"Yes."
"Eh, your choice. Inuyasha. You mentioned something about being able to out-drink me?" Tobias swaggered over to the bar, flung down a handful of bills, and grabbed two bottles. "Vodka in one hand, sake in the other...beat THIS!" Raising the two bottles to his mouth, Tobias chugged the liquor while the other people gasped and cheered.
After about half of it was gone, Tobias dropped both bottles and swayed. "Lemme tell you, Inuyasha," he said, his speech already slurring. "My breath...could KILL a man." He hiccupped. "Beat that!" he drawled.
"Gimme that bottle!" Inuyasha grabbed the bottles away from him, and took a few more for good measure...
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Many drinks later, Inuyasha and Tobias were utterly zombified. Lurching and stumbling around like the undead, they still searched for some sort of liquor to quaff. Kagome watched in utter amazement.
"I'm feelin' creative!" hiccupped Tobias. "Here's a lumerick. Uhh...there wunshe wash a man named In'yasha...and...umm...his name was In'yasha!"
"He tried...and he tried...uhh...and then he died!" laughed Inuyasha.
"An' THA'SSH the shtory of In'yasha!" finished Tobias, to a roar of drunken laughter.
"Sounds kind of morbid, if you ask me," said Kagome, threading her way through the crowd.
"K'gomeeeeee!" sang Inuyasha. "Have a ship. It'll looshen you riiiiiite up."
"I'm fine, Inuyasha. To – uh, Alex, don't you think we should leave? It's getting kind of late..."
"Who'sh Aleksh?" burbled Tobias. "Whatever. Yeah, why not." He pulled out his cellular phone, whereupon the buttons on it immediately enraptured him. Slightly frustrated, Kagome took the phone and searched until she found his number. She had just barely managed to dial it when Tobias grabbed it right back out of her hand.
"You need a professhional touch, K'gome, to deal with ol' Jeevsy. He's reaal stodgy sometimesh." The phone rang and rang. Eventually it was picked up.
"Hello, sir?"
"JEEVSEY! How ya doin', man," said Tobias.
"Very nice, sir. Are you drunk again?"
"Weeeeell, maybe a liddle shnockered, but not drunk like that..." drawled Tobias, immediately before losing his balance and pitching face-first downward.
"What idiot put a floor here?!" he yelled, much to the amusement of Inuyasha.
"Shall I come pick you up?"
"That'd be shwell, Jeevsey." Tobias hung up, and immediately dropped his phone, which shattered into a dozen pieces. "Aw, heck."
"What wazzat allabout?" whispered Inuyasha.
"Umm...we're goin' home. Home..." Tobias's eyes filled with stars. "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME..." he sang. "Uhh...ummm...THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME..." Failing to remember the second line to the song, he chose instead to repeat the first one over and over again, Inuyasha eventually joining in.
Soon the whole drunken population was droning along to that infernal tune. Kagome, hands clamped over her ears, tried to block it out, but that soon became impossible. Finally, she had had enough. She marched over to Inuyasha.
"SIT!!!"
WHAM!
Inuyasha collapsed to the floor, still whimpering a few broken lyrics. Tobias pointed at him and bellowed with laughter. Inuyasha, aggravated, leapt up as soon as the spell allowed (he swayed a bit, but he leapt up).
"Sho, you think that'sh funny, eh?" Inuyasha raised his fists in a ridiculous impression of a boxer.
"Put up your dukesh!" Tobias did the same, and the two staggered around while the drunken crowd cheered. Tobias lunged at Inuyasha, who swayed out of the way by chance, leaving Tobias to fall on his face and slide a few feet. Inuyasha burst into raucous laughter.
"That wash deliberrrate," came Tobias's muffled voice from the floor. "It's the...uhh...Flying Tiger move." The sound of a horn outside made them all jump.
"Ahh, Jeevsy's here!" said Tobias, making an effort to stand and eventually making it to the door. Kagome supported Inuyasha along the way to the car.
Jeeves was waiting outside of the limousine. He was holding a phial of some mysterious liquid, but in the light Kagome could not tell what it was.
"Jeevsey!" said Tobias cheerfully as he approached the limo. Jeeves said nothing, only removing the stopper from the phial and lifting it to Tobias's mouth. A single drop fell in, and Tobias swallowed it, coughing and spluttering.
"Hey, whazzat? What the-" Tobias coughed again, blinked a few times, and stood up straight. His eyes cleared. He did not stagger.
"That stuff is POWERFUL, Jeeves," he said, in his normal voice. "Give a drop to Inuyasha...he needs it."
"What...just...happened?" asked Kagome, thoroughly confused.
"Another relic from Master Tobias's travels, Lady Kagome," said Jeeves as he attempted to get Inuyasha to take a drop. "I'm sure Master Tobias can tell you more about it than I can."
"Well, there was a village of Indians – I guess they're called American Indians, now, that live way over in America...which is kind of given away by the name," said Tobias. Apparently he was still a little woozy. "What happened was, the medicine man was thoroughly put out by the fact that all the young men in the village were overusing what they called the 'dream plant', what we now know as marijuana. Seems nothing was getting done because all the men were always stumbling around, constantly on the stuff. So he came up with this."
Tobias indicated the phial. "It's made from the distillation of something-or-another, I don't remember the exact recipe, but I have it written down in case I need more. One drop of it completely clears the mind of anyone who uses it, of any sort of drug, intoxication, mind-altering effects, et cetera. It takes a minute to fully work, but when it does...well, look at me five minutes ago and look at me now. Useful, huh? I haven't been just sitting around these past centuries..." He got in the back of the limo.
Jeeves had finally succeeded in getting Inuyasha to take a drop of the liquid. Inuyasha raged and growled for a minute, but then he sat up again and demanded to know what was going on.
"A miracle cure, Inuyasha, to get rid of that awful drunkenness of yours. I don't think you'll want that hangover in the morning again...besides, this frees you up for anything else we'd like to do tonight."
"I just wanna go home," said Kagome. "I've had enough excitement for one day."
"My house or yours?" said Tobias, looking out the window as Jeeves drove away.
"His house," Inuyasha said from behind Kagome. "Because, unlike you, I do have something else I want to do tonight." He leaned close in to Kagome's ear. "How's your voice, Kagome? Does your throat hurt at all?"
"Umm...my voice is fine, Inuyasha...why?" Kagome said, puzzled.
"Because you're gonna lose your voice tonight. I'm gonna make you scream my name so much your throat will go numb." Kagome couldn't stop a shiver that ran from the base of her spine all up her body. "I'm going to take you again, and again, and again, in ways you can't even imagine."
"Like what?" Kagome whispered.
Inuyasha snorted. "I've fantasized for years about taking you, mate. Do you think I haven't come up with a few ideas of my own?" His voice dropped even lower. "I'm going to..." The next few words were only for Kagome's ears. "...like you've never been..." Only snatches of the conversation could be heard. (A/N: Because, as I so woefully attempted to demonstrate a few chapters ago, this is still a PG-13 story.)
Inuyasha suddenly bared his teeth and sunk them shallowly into Kagome's mating mark. Her vision went blurry and she couldn't stop the moan that rose from her throat. She could hear him chuckle, and she could feel the vibrations in her sensitive flesh.
"I'm going to just stare out the window and pretend I didn't hear any of that," said Tobias, firmly maintaining his gaze away from them.
"For your sake, I hope so...Alex," snarled Inuyasha, pulling his fangs out.
Tobias picked up the intercom and buzzed Jeeves in the front seat. "Lower the barrier, Jeeves...I have a feeling I'm not wanted here."
"I understand, sir," came the response. The soundproof barrier slid down into the wall, and Tobias leaped into the front seat. An amazingly balletic motion considering he had been drunk off his ass ten minutes ago. The barrier slid shut again.
"That's why I want to go to his house, Kagome," purred Inuyasha. "It's bigger and we won't wake your family with your screams and moans." Kagome turned brilliant red and shivered again. "In fact...that thing IS soundproof...why don't you do a little moaning for me now?" His hand reached around to go up her skirt...
.
Some minutes later, the limo pulled to a halt outside of Tobias's house. Tobias came out of the front seat, then glanced at the back door. Nothing happened.
Then Inuyasha came out. Tobias noticed he shut the door before anything inside could be seen. "We need the bedroom that's the biggest and the furthest away from yours," he said, a bit breathlessly.
"Jeeves, show them to the tertiary bedroom, and never speak of this to me again." Tobias wandered into the house. Jeeves lingered, eyeing the door. His expression was unreadable.
"If the gentleman and the lady would care to come out, I will show you both to your room," he said calmly. Inuyasha went back in, and after a few seconds, emerged with Kagome as well. Clinging to each other like Siamese twins, the two lovers followed the ever-impassive Jeeves into the house and to their private room.
.
The next morning, after a light breakfast, a journey back to Kagome's house, and some *ahem* interaction between Inuyasha and Kagome; all the travelers were at the well again. Tobias and Inuyasha had reassumed their old appearances. Kagome held Inuyasha's hand as they neared the edge of the well.
"Get ready, guys...that was the last bit of fun we'll be having in a while," muttered Tobias. Taking a jewel shard from Kagome, he leaped into the well and vanished.
Kagome gave Inuyasha's hand a quick squeeze, and he leaned over and gave her a brief kiss. They jumped in together, passing through the ethereal blue stuff as one.
Emerging from the well, they were puzzled to see Sango and Miroku in quite a passionate embrace on the edge of the clearing. Inuyasha grinned, Tobias blinked, and Kagome turned a bit red.
Sango glanced over at them emerging from the well and screamed like a banshee. Pulling herself away from Miroku, she dealt him a sound blow to the back of the head.
"And don't you take advantage of me like that again, monk!" she yelled at his googly-eyed form.
"How stupid do you think we are?" said Inuyasha as he clambered out.
"We've kind of figured it out, Sango..." giggled Kagome. "I mean, you've been strangely close for the last few months...I thought that this day would eventually come."
"What are you talking about? He just jumped on me and..." Sango's face turned beet red. "and..." She sighed and helped Miroku up. "I suppose there's no keeping it now."
"I had to admit, I was wondering what you were doing while we were gone," said Tobias.
"Well...umm...we've been waiting a long time for you to come back," said Sango, still blushing, trying desperately to change the subject.
A voice called out from the bushes "-
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And what better way to end this chapter than a good old-fashioned CLIFFHANGER??? (Well, not having one, for instance...) Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip. (Simpsons rock!) In case I haven't lost ALL my fanbase...RRRRREEEEEVVVVVIIIIIEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!
Note that I just realized, as I'm updating: As I post this chapter, I feel...better somehow. Like a great weight has been lifted off of my chest. I'm happier and more relaxed than I have been in weeks. And this tells me only one thing. This story is killing me. Or, that I'm glad I finally updated. I feel that same uplifting sensation I did the very first time I posted. It reminds me of why I like to write. So expect more, and soon!