Maineiac: The further into the story I go the more background that will appear, but only to compliment the current situation of the story.
Perfect Darkness: I'm trying to only add past parts in order to add depth to their present feelings and reactions.
War: Nope I have no plans to have Dawn in this story, but that may change as I write it.
Spacey: I like doing the unexpected.
What can I say, I have a bazillion quotes stored away
"Ah he's good, I've only met him once and the only time I talk to him is when I'm calling to cancel" Olivia Benson Law and Order SVU.
Chapter 3
Giles lifted his gaze and met Faith's head on, not wanting to lie to her on this occasion. After her cruciamentum it had taken over a year to rebuild the trust between them, even now, Faith didn't trust him fully.
He could understand why.
"It would seem so" neither of them had to say her name. In fact the two of them never said her name aloud to each other, never spoke of her in each other's presence.
They had found out very quickly that for Giles it hurt too much and for Faith it was a reminder of how hard a life she was in for, she was living.
Faith turned to Xander, the young mans head had dropped into his hands, as he sat at the round table towards the back of the shop.
"Does she need a smack down?"
A muffled voice resonated from the man at the table "That's yet to be decided" Xander lifted his head up and met Faith's gaze. "I don't think"
"Xander" Willow interrupted "We don't know what happened."
"Because she decided that she didn't want to fight the good fight anymore." He stood abruptly and knocked his chair over.
It was an old argument, one they had been having for years.
Sunnydale, California
October 1998
It seemed that some habits never changed, Angel stood in the corner, as though trying to blend into the wall and be unseen. His gaze was concentrated on the darkness outside. Over by the archway that lead to the kitchen and bathroom Faith stood weapon cradled in her hand just in case, sitting together at the dining room table. Willow and Xander were alternately glaring at the Vampire and at Giles, who was sitting on the couch cup of tea in hand his eyes never leaving the re-souled vampire.
"It was a fight to the death, we both knew it"
His quiet voice startled them all, Willow's gaze turned from angry to confused.
"Xander told Buffy about the spell. Why didn't she just try to I don't know keep you occupied?"
Xander averted his eye's looking everywhere but at Willow.
Angel moved his piercing gaze from the darkness to the redhead "She didn't know. The look on her face" he trailed off, his eye's slid closed and then opened again a moment later "She was crying, she told me she loved me" his voice dropped to a haunted whisper "but it was to late, Alcathla was awake. She told me to close my eyes."
" I did." He did.
"We kissed." He could almost taste her on his lips.
"She ran me through with the sword" he still bore the scar
"I was taken to hell as the vortex closed" he would never forget his time down there. He wished it on no one.
A lone tear found it's way down Willow's cheek, as her lower lip trembled. She turned to face her best friend.
"You didn't tell her" She accused quietly. "If she'd known about the spell, maybe none of this would have happened" She stood up slowly "All this time you've been blaming her, blaming Angel for her leaving. You could've stopped it." Willow took a deep hitching breath staring angrily down at Xander "They're trying the spell again.' That's all you had to say" She stepped away and picked up her bag "You probably said something like Willow said kick his arse'" Seeing the regret in his eye's she shook her head and walked towards the door. "You can't blame any one person for what happened Xander. Stop blaming everyone else and admit that maybe you played a part in it to."
She opened the door "It's called life, and it sucks. You can't blame anyone for the suckiness of it, it just is"
She walked out.
Unable to take the silence any longer Willow stood and picked up her things.
"If Buffy wants to talk to me tell her where I am, give her my new number or something" She looked down at her hands "but she has to want to see me" then back up at Giles "I won't force her to see me if she doesn't want to"
She walked towards the front door and nearly winced as the familiar jangle sounded throughout the oppressive silence that had covered the room.
Yes the first few months had been tough, without a slayer to guard the Hellmouth but once Faith had turned up things had settled down slightly. The four of them no longer had to worry about patrolling, much to Giles' relief, in fact when Faith had first taken over the Hellmouth's guardianship she had refused to let them patrol with her. It was only when Angel had showed up again and started helping out she realised that they went out anyway. As usual Xander had said it best in his round a bout way I don't do denial' but after awhile it didn't mean much without Buffy there. Something was missing, or rather someone was.
Now Willow was trying to reconcile the fact that Buffy was back in their lives with the deep misgivings that were lurking in the pit of her stomach about letting her get close again.
Stopping at the coffee stand Willow did something she knew she would regret later but she also knew it was necessary.
She got a double shot mocha.
There was something calming and idyllic about this town. Olivia didn't know whether it was the sun, the fact that no one was rushing around. Everyone seemed to be quite content to meander through the day, even this close to Christmas.
You didn't see that in New York. Ever
Olivia didn't know if she could ever live in a small town like this. Not after spending her entire life in the hustle and bustle of New York.
She was a city girl.
Off in the distance she smiled as she watched as a group of kids ran around kicking a soccer ball between them. It wasn't often you got to see such carefree innocence anymore.
The harsh ringing of her cell phone interrupted her reverie, pulling it out she glanced down at the caller ID and shook her head in slight bewilderment as the word Elliot Hme' flashed.
Ignoring the temptation the hit the clear button and turn the phone off Olivia sighed and flipped it open. Bringing it up to her ear she rolled her eyes as she answered.
"Benson"
On the other end she heard muffled voices for a moment before a female voice cut in.
"Olivia, it's Kathy Stabler here."
Olivia sat up startled, Elliot checking on her she expected, but Kathy they rarely saw each other and usually Elliot played messenger
"Kathy, what can I do for you?"
On the other end Kathy glared at her chicken husband who knew that Olivia would disembowel him if she thought he was checking up on her.
"Did Elliot invite you over for Christmas dinner?"
"No" Olivia chuckled lightly "I think he forgot to do that" scanning the horizon out of habit more than anything Olivia noticed a petite red head walking towards her.
"Well then I'm officially inviting you two over for Christmas dinner."
The red head was getting closer now "I'm in California at the moment, but let me talk to Alex and I'll call you back"
She recognised the red head now as Willow who she had met earlier out the back of the Gallery.
"Kathy I've got to go, I'll call you tomorrow after talking to Alex" Without waiting for a reply Olivia flipped the phone closed as the young woman flopped down on the park bench beside her. Without waiting for Olivia to greet her, the red head jumped slightly and whipped around to face Olivia
"I'm not angry, I don't hate her. I know I should but for some reason I can't find it in me to hate her" one of Willow's hands flew up and gestured wildly while the other still held the mocha "She just took off, without a word to us. Only the letter to her Mom" she stood up and started pacing in front of the New Yorker. "When I found out what had happened that night I can almost understand why she took off" She stopped pacing and faced Olivia, one palm held upwards, still clutching the mocha in her other, as though it were a lifeline "but why come back after all these years? Did she miss us? Miss her Mom? What am I supposed to say to her"
Olivia waited a few moments to make sure Willow was finished, uncrossing her legs, Olivia planted both feet flat on the ground, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Turning her eyes up to look at Willow directly.
"Listen to what she has to say and tell her the truth" Olivia sighed as Willow's lower lip started to quiver "Buffy is under no illusions that she is going to find forgiveness here" she paused and took a deep breath "but she does need closure"
The tall brunette stood and planted a hand on each shoulder "and maybe you do to"
Omaha, Nebraska
May 1999
They had graduated yesterday.
How did she know this? She had been walking back to her flat this evening after work when the newspaper headlines had caught her eye.
Sunnydale had finally made it into the public eye. On the surface it looked like an accidental tragedy, gas leak in the basement turned deadly, but she knew the truth. It had to be them; whatever was going on down there was bad enough to warrant this action. She had bought the paper and gone home before reading the article.
The media said the library was the first to go. That only gave more credence to her theory that they were involved somehow. Over 50 people had died or gone missing, in the chaos that apparently ensued both before and after the explosion.
She hoped none of them were in that number.
For the next few day's she kept her eye on the papers, trying to find out who had died and who had survived. Finally she found them.
Cordelia Chase
Rupert Giles
Alexander Harris
Daniel Osbourne
Willow Rosenberg
They survived.
She didn't know whether she was happy they had survived or sad that even without her there they were still in danger.
Sunnydale, California
May 1999
Willow Rosenberg stood staring at the tower of flame that had once been Sunnydale high school. Oz walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He knew what she was thinking. She had thought it everyday for the past year.
Buffy should be here
"Does her Mom know?" Faith was first to break the silence that had descended over the shop since Willow had walked out. "That's she's back I mean"
Giles turned his face towards the dark girl "Yes, she and Joyce are talking now" he paused momentarily "well I assume they're talking" they hadn't been able to hear anything from the back room as of yet.
Cleveland, Ohio
August 1998
After spending 8 hours in a cramped greyhound seat the only thing Faith needed was to get out into the night. It didn't matter what she did as long as she got outside. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a blond girl, a year maybe two older than herself. The girl was staring at her, as though she knew exactly who Faith was, what she did.
I was unnerving to say the least.
As their eye's met something tingled up the back of Faith's spine, a feeling that she should know this girl. A feeling that this girl was a kindred spirit.
Breaking eye contact, not wanting to know where that feeling came from, Faith turned away and walked out the front doors of the bus station. She had heard that there was vampire activity in the Cleveland area, but was yet to see any but then again the bus station probably wasn't the best place to locate vamps.
Not far down the road, Faith felt a by now familiar cramping in her lower stomach, pausing she took a deep breath before lashing out with her left arm. Grabbing her stake with her right. Without hesitation she embedded it deep in the vampires chest and grinned as it turned to dust.
She knew the other girl had followed her, was watching
Faith was about to turn around and say something when the girl walked away.
She found out later, that the girl had been Buffy the Vampire Slayer
She never told anyone in Sunnydale who she had seen. Faith knew what it was like to need to disappear.
"Did you mean what you said in the letter?" Joyce asked unsure of whether she wanted to know the answer or not.
"Yes" Buffy averted her eyes, refusing to look at her mother, in case her fears became a reality.
"You are my daughter Buffy" Joyce gently placed a hand under Buffy's chin and lifted her face up forcing the blond to look at her. "That comes first. That first summer after you left, in between trips away looking for you, Mr Giles spent a lot of time with me, it took a while to accept that you had, had this whole other life that I wasn't apart of but I did. I love you Buffy and I knew you'd come back one day"
Mom,
I'm sorry. I wish I could be what you want me to be, a great student, a star athlete, remotely normal but I'm not. You deserve better, I tried my best for everyone but it wasn't good enough. So much has happened that you don't know about, that I can't tell you. I wish I could.
I'm not crazy, I know I'm not, I just wish you did to. I can't be the person you want me to be, not now, maybe not ever. For once I'm doing what you ask me to. I'm not coming back.
Take care, and don't invite anyone in at night.
Buffy
End AN: As far as I know we were never told what the note Buffy wrote to Joyce at the end of Becoming II' contained so I made it up.