Title:
Author: Sara and Lizzie
Disclaimer: Meg is God. We borrowed it, don't sue.
Rating: Pg-13, with a possible change.
Summary: Several years after Jesse disappeared, Suze is living in San Francisco, finally leading the normal life she dreamed of when she was a teenager. Until she returns to Carmel for a Fourth of July weekend that changes her life again.
"Turn down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams." - Christina Augilera
Sadly, my mom doesn't believe in doing anything lightly. Maybe it's because she's a newscaster, and gets paid to be dramatic about everything, and treat even totally irrelevant news like it's apocalyptic.
I guess I was stupid to think that what was probably to be my last trip home, as an unmarried woman would go without surprises. Which is why I wasn't too shocked to walk into my living room to discover Gina there.
"We wanted to surprise you Susie!" my mom exclaimed happily. "She's going to be here until the wedding."
I grinned, more elated than she could possibly know to have Gina to help me through this. I hugged my mom, then Andy, then Gina. Doc appeared in the room, so I hugged him too.
"Suze, take your stuff up to your room, then come out to the deck, and we'll have dinner." My mom instructed. 25 and about to married or not, she could still order me around.
I stood stock still. Up to your room. The most dreaded phrase. "Suze, your stuff." Mom persisted.
"I'll take it!" David and Gina exclaimed at the same time.
"Don't be ridiculous." Andy said. "Suze needs to put her things away and get settled. Dinner in 15." He and my mom walked back out to the deck. Andy was completely unaware of why Gina and David wanted to take my things to my room. So I wouldn't have to go in there. Doc, Gina, Adam and Cee-Cee were the only ones that knew about the mediating thing. And about Jesse. Except for Father Dom and Paul of course. I steeled my self against pain, grasped my suitcase, and then began to walk up the stairs. I entered my room, threw my stuff down, and collapsed on the seat by the window.
Gina hovered near the seat, with this really concerned look on her face. I picked up a pillow, put it over my face and screamed. I flung the pillow across the room, then taking a deep breath, turned to face Gina.
"Hey." I said, pulling her down onto the seat next to me. She hugged me again, longer this time.
"What are you doing Simon? Do you love this guy?"
"I don't know. I mean, yea, I do, but not in the way I loved Jesse."
"Then why are you going through with this?"
"What am I supposed to do Gina? Spend the rest of my life alone, still in love with a ghost? I'm happy now. Not as happy, but it's working. I need to move on Gina. I can't spend forever living in the past."
"But if you don't love Alex in the way you love Jesse, then-"
"Jesse is not coming back Gina. I can't keep living my life for him." I got up and left my room, unable to be there for one more second. I burst out onto the deck, smile and mutter some words to the rest of my family, realizing that I cant stand to be here either. I walk to the edge of the deck, and see the first rays of the sun starting to sink below the horizon.
I haven't cried all day, but here is where the tears spring to my eyes. This deck, this is where Jesse disappeared. I can see it in my mind's eye. We had just finished up some light breaking and entering. For mediation purposes. It was dark. Like pitch black. We had kissed out on this deck that night. A lot.
"You should go to bed Susannah."
"I should go to bed? That was romantic Jesse."
"I want to be a gentlemen querida."
"I might not mind if you weren't." Then was kissed some more. Then he said I love you. And I said I loved him. And we had talked some, about big things. Like future things. And then he disappeared. Right in front of me.
And he was still very gone. And it still hurt as much as it ever did.
Author: Sara and Lizzie
Disclaimer: Meg is God. We borrowed it, don't sue.
Rating: Pg-13, with a possible change.
Summary: Several years after Jesse disappeared, Suze is living in San Francisco, finally leading the normal life she dreamed of when she was a teenager. Until she returns to Carmel for a Fourth of July weekend that changes her life again.
"Turn down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams." - Christina Augilera
Sadly, my mom doesn't believe in doing anything lightly. Maybe it's because she's a newscaster, and gets paid to be dramatic about everything, and treat even totally irrelevant news like it's apocalyptic.
I guess I was stupid to think that what was probably to be my last trip home, as an unmarried woman would go without surprises. Which is why I wasn't too shocked to walk into my living room to discover Gina there.
"We wanted to surprise you Susie!" my mom exclaimed happily. "She's going to be here until the wedding."
I grinned, more elated than she could possibly know to have Gina to help me through this. I hugged my mom, then Andy, then Gina. Doc appeared in the room, so I hugged him too.
"Suze, take your stuff up to your room, then come out to the deck, and we'll have dinner." My mom instructed. 25 and about to married or not, she could still order me around.
I stood stock still. Up to your room. The most dreaded phrase. "Suze, your stuff." Mom persisted.
"I'll take it!" David and Gina exclaimed at the same time.
"Don't be ridiculous." Andy said. "Suze needs to put her things away and get settled. Dinner in 15." He and my mom walked back out to the deck. Andy was completely unaware of why Gina and David wanted to take my things to my room. So I wouldn't have to go in there. Doc, Gina, Adam and Cee-Cee were the only ones that knew about the mediating thing. And about Jesse. Except for Father Dom and Paul of course. I steeled my self against pain, grasped my suitcase, and then began to walk up the stairs. I entered my room, threw my stuff down, and collapsed on the seat by the window.
Gina hovered near the seat, with this really concerned look on her face. I picked up a pillow, put it over my face and screamed. I flung the pillow across the room, then taking a deep breath, turned to face Gina.
"Hey." I said, pulling her down onto the seat next to me. She hugged me again, longer this time.
"What are you doing Simon? Do you love this guy?"
"I don't know. I mean, yea, I do, but not in the way I loved Jesse."
"Then why are you going through with this?"
"What am I supposed to do Gina? Spend the rest of my life alone, still in love with a ghost? I'm happy now. Not as happy, but it's working. I need to move on Gina. I can't spend forever living in the past."
"But if you don't love Alex in the way you love Jesse, then-"
"Jesse is not coming back Gina. I can't keep living my life for him." I got up and left my room, unable to be there for one more second. I burst out onto the deck, smile and mutter some words to the rest of my family, realizing that I cant stand to be here either. I walk to the edge of the deck, and see the first rays of the sun starting to sink below the horizon.
I haven't cried all day, but here is where the tears spring to my eyes. This deck, this is where Jesse disappeared. I can see it in my mind's eye. We had just finished up some light breaking and entering. For mediation purposes. It was dark. Like pitch black. We had kissed out on this deck that night. A lot.
"You should go to bed Susannah."
"I should go to bed? That was romantic Jesse."
"I want to be a gentlemen querida."
"I might not mind if you weren't." Then was kissed some more. Then he said I love you. And I said I loved him. And we had talked some, about big things. Like future things. And then he disappeared. Right in front of me.
And he was still very gone. And it still hurt as much as it ever did.