A/N: I hope you like this chapter, Severus goes through a range of emotions, people are complex things, and emotions are part of what make us human.
Chapter 13
"Enter." Albus said, as he finished signing a document on his desk.
"Headmaster." Severus said, as Albus looked up from the desk.
"Ah, Severus, so glad you came, I have been wanting to talk to you." Albus said standing and walking toward Severus extending his hand.
"Yes, I need to speak with you as well, Eomer has told me some rather interesting news."
"Well, sit, please." Albus said, taking a seat back behind his desk.
Severus proceeded to tell Albus exactly what Eomer had told, him and had a similar exchange of dialogue concerning Fudge's newest plan of insanity.
"So, Severus what do you suggest we do?" Albus inquired.
"You're asking me?"" Severus said taken aback.
"Yes, I am sure you have an opinion, as you do for everything else." Albus's eyes twinkled.
"Well, we certainly cannot go around taking in refugee werewolves, let alone protect them. I mean what are we going to do on the full moon, lock them in a cage? No, Albus we cannot save everyone." Severus said.
"And what about our friends?"
"If you are referring to Lupin, I agree we cannot leave him out to be sent to Azkaban, but I do not know how we can go about giving him aid. Besides, he has looked after himself this long, I don't see why anything would have to change, as long as he is aware of the risk." Severus concluded.
Albus sat quietly for a few moments before he spoke again.
"How is Harry?" Albus asked.
"Potter? He is doing better, he is taken a liking to my family."
"Well, I suspect it is because he has no family of his own. And have you taken a liking to him? Albus asked leaning forward in his chair, looking into Severus's eyes.
Severus was not expecting this; in fact he was quite surprised.
"At first, as you know I was highly opposed to the whole situation, but now, it almost seems like..." Severus paused.
"It seems like, he fits, like the way Sylvia is always wanting to play with him, and how Eowyn made biscuits with him the other day, it is just peculiar."
"And why, Severus do you find it peculiar?"
"I never thought that the son of my enemy could understand, understand my life, my family, my feelings even. And more peculiar than that, is the need I feel to protect him, to look out for him." Severus said somewhat slowly.
"It is perfectly natural to feel concern over another person, you know that, you feel that way about your daughter."
"But of Harry Potter? I never once thought that he was someone that I could hold a conversation with , let alone cause the anxiety in which I felt when he had cut himself."
"You know that there has always been a bond between you, ever since you held him as a baby, you felt it. You saw innocence in his eyes, and my friend he is still so young with so much to learn.
There is so much he has not experience, so little he has done. His life is filled with troubles, and he has never felt safe in his life, that is until you stood by him. You, Severus are his protector, not I."
"I have enough to protect, my daughter, my wife, and myself. Why must it be I?"
"Because it was your destiny. You know what I speak of." Albus said as Severus dropped his head.
"Please, one little cryptic prediction and you twist it to make it sound like I am the boy's guardian angel?" Severus snorted.
"You are his teacher, his guide, and up until now you have denied the boy the right to get to know you, the real you. There must come a point when you come clean."
"I did tell him, about my brother, about his aunt. I showed him the wand." Severus said matter-o-factly.
"Good, and what did he say of the wand?" Albus asked.
"I have not told him what the encryption means. I got sidetracked telling about my brother and his aunt. Then I had to put Sylvia to bed."
"Ah, well what about the stone?"
"I gave it to him, but he did not show any recognition as to what he was to do with it."
"Perhaps when the time is right he will know. Perhaps he knows, and we are not to be enlightened on the subject, whatever the case maybe, I am glad you have done these things. You have grown into a noble man Severus.
All the years I have known you, and still you surprise me. I once saw something that you that even you didn't see. Now, you see something in Harry, that he does not see in himself. Just as I have mentored you, you are to mentor Harry."
"You say I have become a noble man, but what will Potter think of me if he learns of the horrid thing I did as a Death Eater, and continue to do, just to help the Order." Severus asked.
"What you do for the Order in necessary, if we did not have a contact within the ranks of the Death Eaters, we would be completely clueless as to proceed. I know you may not find this comforting but sacrifices must be made to win a war."
"And who are you willing to sacrifice next?" Severus questioned.
"I am not willing to do anything, it is just a matter of what must be done." Albus's eyes flared.
"Then you are no better than him." Severus nearly spat, growing angry very quickly.
"I know what you want, and do not misunderstand me, I do not want more deaths. That is the last thing I want. What happened to Sirius was of his own doing, you said so yourself." Albus said in a more gentle voice.
"I realize that, but what if that next person is me?" Severus gulped down.
Albus sat quiet, unsure how to respond. Severus had never once showed concern over himself, and this was quite unexpected, but not something the Headmaster did not like. Albus was glad Severus finally had some self-worth.
"Are you asking to step down?" Albus said.
Severus sat for a moment. He knew he couldn't get out, not until the Dark Lord was dead. If he were to leave, he would be killed, and that would achieve nothing.
"No, I cannot. Forgive me I do not know what came over me."
"It is perfectly natural Severus for you to feel this way, just rather unexpected, as you have never mentioned it before."
"It is just that I couldn't bear my family having to go on without me. I look at Mr. Potter and I see the pain of loosing his godfather. I cannot wish that on my family."
"I cannot promise you Severus, that you will be all right in the end, I cannot even promise that to myself. But, if you can promise me that you will do everything in your power to protect Harry, then I can promise that I will do everything in my power to see to it that you and your family are protected."
Severus looked the Headmaster in the eye for a few seconds, and then replied:
"I promise."
Severus stood up and walked silently out of the Headmaster's office, thinking about everything that just had been said. The old man had gotten to him, Severus shook his head, wondering how he could do it to him every time.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Severus walked down into Hogsmeade, and decided to have a quick drink before Apparating home. Unfortunately for him he ran into someone he wasn't expecting.
"Severus?" Came a voice from the far end of the bar.
Severus walked over into the poorly lit corner, and saw sitting in front of him one Remus J. Lupin.
"Lupin." He grunted.
"Didn't expect to see you here, of course maybe you would be the type to hang out here on the day after Christmas." Remus said rather bitterly. Severus noticed that he had had a few Firewhiskeys.
"Something the matter Lupin, or is it that time of month?" Severus hissed.
"Like you or anyone else in this godforsaken world cares." Remus said, very unlike him.
"Lupin, I don't mean to sound like I care, but you sound upset, is something the matter?" Severus questioned, taking a seat next to the werewolf.
"Why do you care, all you care about is your blood potions. You don't know what it is like living alone, no one who loves you." Remus said nearly sobbing now.
"I think you have had enough to drink, and if you wouldn't mind cutting out the pity talk, I have already had quite enough of that, and I am bloody tired of saving everyone this week!" Severus spoke firmly.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Remus asked.
"Well, Potter decided to try and kill himself with a pair of scissors, lucky for him I found him and now the boy is staying at my house." Severus said plainly, like this was old news.
"Why didn't any one tell me?" Remus asked alarmed.
"Perhaps it was because we were unable to find you."
"I was taking care of something. Is he all right? I knew something was wrong when I read his last letter to me, I should have told the Headmaster."
Remus looked like a pathetic heap of clothing. Severus could tell that what he had been taking care of was his own transfiguration. Severus looked into his almost lifeless gray eyes, and fell pity. Severus wanted to mentally slap himself, first Potter, now Lupin, next thing you know he will be dressing up in a Santa outfit. No, he was becoming much too soft.
"Now isn't that a brillant idea." Severus said as he rolled his eyes.
"Wait, Harry is at your house?" Remus asked.
"Yes, my house, as in the place where I dwell."
"Well tell him that I will see him soon, and that if he needs to talk I am here." Remus said defeated.
Severus knew all to well where this was headed, bloody Gryffindors can be more conniving than Slytherins.
"Since, you apparently not busy, after all you look like you are dressed for a funeral, I suppose I can take you to see him." Severus said, good god he was getting soft.
"I can?" Remus asked.
"To your house?"
"Yes to my house, shall I say it slower for you to comprehend.
"Okay, thanks Severus, you don't have other plans?"
"We are having lunch, but I suppose you may join us. However you may need to sober up a bit before I take you to my house." 'and maybe I need a few more drinks' Severus thought to himself.
"Who is we?"
"Ah, you will see we when we get there. First you need different clothes, you look worse than Potter did when he came to me." Severus commented.
"These are the only clothes I have. I have torn all my others." Remus looked embarrassed.
"Look, let us go back up to the castle, I can get you a Sober-me-Up potion, and a better set of clothes, then we can floo to my house. Will you be able to handle that?"
"Thank you Severus. I know you don't think much of me, but I am glad you found me today, I was in real trouble."
"Lucky Severus, always the one to help, or gets stuck helping." Severus said sarcastically.
"So who are we having lunch with again?" Remus asked as they headed back towards the castle.
Chapter 13
"Enter." Albus said, as he finished signing a document on his desk.
"Headmaster." Severus said, as Albus looked up from the desk.
"Ah, Severus, so glad you came, I have been wanting to talk to you." Albus said standing and walking toward Severus extending his hand.
"Yes, I need to speak with you as well, Eomer has told me some rather interesting news."
"Well, sit, please." Albus said, taking a seat back behind his desk.
Severus proceeded to tell Albus exactly what Eomer had told, him and had a similar exchange of dialogue concerning Fudge's newest plan of insanity.
"So, Severus what do you suggest we do?" Albus inquired.
"You're asking me?"" Severus said taken aback.
"Yes, I am sure you have an opinion, as you do for everything else." Albus's eyes twinkled.
"Well, we certainly cannot go around taking in refugee werewolves, let alone protect them. I mean what are we going to do on the full moon, lock them in a cage? No, Albus we cannot save everyone." Severus said.
"And what about our friends?"
"If you are referring to Lupin, I agree we cannot leave him out to be sent to Azkaban, but I do not know how we can go about giving him aid. Besides, he has looked after himself this long, I don't see why anything would have to change, as long as he is aware of the risk." Severus concluded.
Albus sat quietly for a few moments before he spoke again.
"How is Harry?" Albus asked.
"Potter? He is doing better, he is taken a liking to my family."
"Well, I suspect it is because he has no family of his own. And have you taken a liking to him? Albus asked leaning forward in his chair, looking into Severus's eyes.
Severus was not expecting this; in fact he was quite surprised.
"At first, as you know I was highly opposed to the whole situation, but now, it almost seems like..." Severus paused.
"It seems like, he fits, like the way Sylvia is always wanting to play with him, and how Eowyn made biscuits with him the other day, it is just peculiar."
"And why, Severus do you find it peculiar?"
"I never thought that the son of my enemy could understand, understand my life, my family, my feelings even. And more peculiar than that, is the need I feel to protect him, to look out for him." Severus said somewhat slowly.
"It is perfectly natural to feel concern over another person, you know that, you feel that way about your daughter."
"But of Harry Potter? I never once thought that he was someone that I could hold a conversation with , let alone cause the anxiety in which I felt when he had cut himself."
"You know that there has always been a bond between you, ever since you held him as a baby, you felt it. You saw innocence in his eyes, and my friend he is still so young with so much to learn.
There is so much he has not experience, so little he has done. His life is filled with troubles, and he has never felt safe in his life, that is until you stood by him. You, Severus are his protector, not I."
"I have enough to protect, my daughter, my wife, and myself. Why must it be I?"
"Because it was your destiny. You know what I speak of." Albus said as Severus dropped his head.
"Please, one little cryptic prediction and you twist it to make it sound like I am the boy's guardian angel?" Severus snorted.
"You are his teacher, his guide, and up until now you have denied the boy the right to get to know you, the real you. There must come a point when you come clean."
"I did tell him, about my brother, about his aunt. I showed him the wand." Severus said matter-o-factly.
"Good, and what did he say of the wand?" Albus asked.
"I have not told him what the encryption means. I got sidetracked telling about my brother and his aunt. Then I had to put Sylvia to bed."
"Ah, well what about the stone?"
"I gave it to him, but he did not show any recognition as to what he was to do with it."
"Perhaps when the time is right he will know. Perhaps he knows, and we are not to be enlightened on the subject, whatever the case maybe, I am glad you have done these things. You have grown into a noble man Severus.
All the years I have known you, and still you surprise me. I once saw something that you that even you didn't see. Now, you see something in Harry, that he does not see in himself. Just as I have mentored you, you are to mentor Harry."
"You say I have become a noble man, but what will Potter think of me if he learns of the horrid thing I did as a Death Eater, and continue to do, just to help the Order." Severus asked.
"What you do for the Order in necessary, if we did not have a contact within the ranks of the Death Eaters, we would be completely clueless as to proceed. I know you may not find this comforting but sacrifices must be made to win a war."
"And who are you willing to sacrifice next?" Severus questioned.
"I am not willing to do anything, it is just a matter of what must be done." Albus's eyes flared.
"Then you are no better than him." Severus nearly spat, growing angry very quickly.
"I know what you want, and do not misunderstand me, I do not want more deaths. That is the last thing I want. What happened to Sirius was of his own doing, you said so yourself." Albus said in a more gentle voice.
"I realize that, but what if that next person is me?" Severus gulped down.
Albus sat quiet, unsure how to respond. Severus had never once showed concern over himself, and this was quite unexpected, but not something the Headmaster did not like. Albus was glad Severus finally had some self-worth.
"Are you asking to step down?" Albus said.
Severus sat for a moment. He knew he couldn't get out, not until the Dark Lord was dead. If he were to leave, he would be killed, and that would achieve nothing.
"No, I cannot. Forgive me I do not know what came over me."
"It is perfectly natural Severus for you to feel this way, just rather unexpected, as you have never mentioned it before."
"It is just that I couldn't bear my family having to go on without me. I look at Mr. Potter and I see the pain of loosing his godfather. I cannot wish that on my family."
"I cannot promise you Severus, that you will be all right in the end, I cannot even promise that to myself. But, if you can promise me that you will do everything in your power to protect Harry, then I can promise that I will do everything in my power to see to it that you and your family are protected."
Severus looked the Headmaster in the eye for a few seconds, and then replied:
"I promise."
Severus stood up and walked silently out of the Headmaster's office, thinking about everything that just had been said. The old man had gotten to him, Severus shook his head, wondering how he could do it to him every time.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Severus walked down into Hogsmeade, and decided to have a quick drink before Apparating home. Unfortunately for him he ran into someone he wasn't expecting.
"Severus?" Came a voice from the far end of the bar.
Severus walked over into the poorly lit corner, and saw sitting in front of him one Remus J. Lupin.
"Lupin." He grunted.
"Didn't expect to see you here, of course maybe you would be the type to hang out here on the day after Christmas." Remus said rather bitterly. Severus noticed that he had had a few Firewhiskeys.
"Something the matter Lupin, or is it that time of month?" Severus hissed.
"Like you or anyone else in this godforsaken world cares." Remus said, very unlike him.
"Lupin, I don't mean to sound like I care, but you sound upset, is something the matter?" Severus questioned, taking a seat next to the werewolf.
"Why do you care, all you care about is your blood potions. You don't know what it is like living alone, no one who loves you." Remus said nearly sobbing now.
"I think you have had enough to drink, and if you wouldn't mind cutting out the pity talk, I have already had quite enough of that, and I am bloody tired of saving everyone this week!" Severus spoke firmly.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Remus asked.
"Well, Potter decided to try and kill himself with a pair of scissors, lucky for him I found him and now the boy is staying at my house." Severus said plainly, like this was old news.
"Why didn't any one tell me?" Remus asked alarmed.
"Perhaps it was because we were unable to find you."
"I was taking care of something. Is he all right? I knew something was wrong when I read his last letter to me, I should have told the Headmaster."
Remus looked like a pathetic heap of clothing. Severus could tell that what he had been taking care of was his own transfiguration. Severus looked into his almost lifeless gray eyes, and fell pity. Severus wanted to mentally slap himself, first Potter, now Lupin, next thing you know he will be dressing up in a Santa outfit. No, he was becoming much too soft.
"Now isn't that a brillant idea." Severus said as he rolled his eyes.
"Wait, Harry is at your house?" Remus asked.
"Yes, my house, as in the place where I dwell."
"Well tell him that I will see him soon, and that if he needs to talk I am here." Remus said defeated.
Severus knew all to well where this was headed, bloody Gryffindors can be more conniving than Slytherins.
"Since, you apparently not busy, after all you look like you are dressed for a funeral, I suppose I can take you to see him." Severus said, good god he was getting soft.
"I can?" Remus asked.
"To your house?"
"Yes to my house, shall I say it slower for you to comprehend.
"Okay, thanks Severus, you don't have other plans?"
"We are having lunch, but I suppose you may join us. However you may need to sober up a bit before I take you to my house." 'and maybe I need a few more drinks' Severus thought to himself.
"Who is we?"
"Ah, you will see we when we get there. First you need different clothes, you look worse than Potter did when he came to me." Severus commented.
"These are the only clothes I have. I have torn all my others." Remus looked embarrassed.
"Look, let us go back up to the castle, I can get you a Sober-me-Up potion, and a better set of clothes, then we can floo to my house. Will you be able to handle that?"
"Thank you Severus. I know you don't think much of me, but I am glad you found me today, I was in real trouble."
"Lucky Severus, always the one to help, or gets stuck helping." Severus said sarcastically.
"So who are we having lunch with again?" Remus asked as they headed back towards the castle.