Xander was tired. Tired of not being taken seriously. Tired of always missing out on his chance with Buffy. And tired of the guilt.
He tried so hard, but it was never enough. Why was it everyone always expected more? He made mistakes. Everyone did. Granted everyone wasn't responsible for creating an evil that had killed more over time than all the wars combined. Everyone wasn't to blame for Faith's 'death'. He was. And there was nothing he could do to make up for it. No matter how hard he tried.
He'd lived with Galadriel's curse…his soul…for centuries. In a way, he did understand Angel's torment. Not that he would ever admit that to Buffy. That would mean one more thing he was wrong about and he already had a long list.
His biggest regret though was Mara. She had loved him before everything changed. She had loved him when he was just plain old Xander Harris. He had destroyed her too. He had taken her trust and innocence and changed her into a creature of evil. Then he'd abandoned her to her fate. Galadriel had banished her and he never found out where she'd been sent to. He'd also never tried to get her back. He'd left her wherever she was and wallowed in his guilt.
Now, maybe she was back, in this time. Back to destroy him, seek revenge or to help him? All he knew was what the prophecy said. Only he and the Daughter of Fire…Faith…would be able to stop her and the one they were searching for. That led him to think that she would be out for revenge. But would she know he was here too?
~*~
"What other things?" Angelus snarled.
"For one thing, I bet neither of you has taken our guest out and shown her the town," Faith smirked. "Or taken her out for dinner and dancing."
"The sun is out you stupid girl," Angelus spat. "And anyway, I don't dance."
"It was a figure of speech," Faith said rolling her eyes. "And don't call me a stupid girl. I am the only one who knows what is going on here and can make all your plans succeed. What can you do Vampire? Just go do what you do best. Stand in the shadows and brood. Either that or go back to licking Buffy's feet."
Angelus growled and lunged at her, his face changing. This time he took her by surprise and had knocked her off her feet before she could react. Faith landed in a puddle on the floor, the breath knocked out of her. She tried to stand back up, but he had been too quick for her and was kneel astride her, his fists pounding into her face and shoulders. Faith spat at him and struggled to release her hands from beneath his knees, but she was trapped.
"Typical neutered Vampire," she laughed. "You can only hit a woman when she's down."
Angelus sent a stunning backhand across her face. The slap echoed throughout the room, causing Richard to squirm. He didn't like the violence, but he wanted Faith to suffer a little for destroying his little secret. He would step in….eventually.
"What is the food like in this place?" Mara asked, totally oblivious to what was going on.
The unexpected question from the female caused Angelus to stop his attack on Faith and sit back.
"As someone I once knew said to someone else I once knew…happy meals on legs, although without the dinky toy," he replied.
"Happy meal?" she asked.
"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about," Richard said. He reached down and grabbed Angelus by the arm and pulled him off Faith. "Maybe you could take Mara out and get something to eat. I'm sure our guest is, as Faith suggested, famished."
"And the sunlight?" Angelus asked.
"There are ways to get around without the sunlight being a problem," he continued. "You know that better than anyone. Plus there won't be daylight for much longer."
Angelus stood and glared down at Faith. "This isn't over bitch. Next time…"
"Next time I won't be taken by surprise," she finished for him.
~*~
Xander sat in the cemetery lost in thought. He wondered how many of the occupants were there due to him. Not directly of course, but because of what he was. He also wondered how many of the occupants were still occupying their 'final resting place'.
Before he met Buffy, he'd never given much thought to cemeteries. To him, they were just creepy places he avoided at night or only went to when someone died. Then he learnt why cemeteries were creepy. He knew now why they had always scared him. But now, they didn't. He found them oddly soothing. Almost tranquil. Here, he was away from the accusing looks everyone gave him. They might not have meant to, but they did it all the same.
He could smell the approaching darkness before he saw it. Everything changed when darkness approached. Maybe they were used to the evil that came out to play after nightfall. Centuries of practice had taught them well. He watched and waited for the darkness to cover the world in its enveloping embrace. Maybe some of the cemetery's occupants would be waking up to a new existance. Expecting a peaceful afterlife, they would find themselves in the waking nightmare he had brought down upon the world.
"I've always loved the night," came a voice from behind him. Xander spun around and found Faith standing there watching him. "Even when I was a child, I was never afraid of the dark like most. It always felt safe to me. Even when I found out about my calling as a Slayer, it still felt safe. Maybe I'm just at home in the darkness, like you are Xander."
"Not anymore," he replied.
Faith laughed. "You're kidding yourself if you think you are any different from them."
"I am different," Xander yelled. "I'm no longer a monster, nothing but an animal, like they are."
Faith walked slowly towards Xander. She reached out her hand and slowly trailed a finger down his cheek. "Once a monster, always a monster," she whispered seductively. "You should be the ruler of them all. But instead you are nothing more than a toothless puppy. You always have been. You have the power to rule them all. Rule this town. But instead you bow and scrape to Buffy. You've let her own you when you should own her. That's what you've always wanted isn't it Xander. You've always wanted Buffy. But she's always been too busy to notice you."
Xander knew she was right, but he refused to admit it to her. "You're wrong," he said through clenched teeth.
Xander could feel Faith's breath against his cheek as her lips moved closer to his ear. "I'm right and you know it. You have the power to take it all Xander. To take Sunnydale and to take Buffy. But you don't have the balls to do it do you? You're always be the follower of the Slayer and never the leader. You're pathetic."
Xander slapped her hand away. "You're the pathetic one," he spat at her. "Always so jealous of Buffy. Always the one left out. You make me sick Faith."
Faith smiled. "I didn't always make you sick though did I? In fact I remember I used to…"
"That was a long time ago," Xander said quietly. "Before I found out what you were really like."
"And what am I like?" she asked.
"A jealous, insecure nothing," he replied. "You will never be anything more. Buffy will always be better than you, smarter than you and she'll always have everyone behind her. What will you have Faith? Nothing!"
"She has me."
Xander knew that voice.
"Mara?" he gasped.
He knew there was a chance she was already here. The prophecy had predicted her arrival, but he hadn't been prepared for seeing her again.
"My Xander," she said softly, stepping out of the shadows.
She looked as beautiful as ever, he noticed. All the feelings he had for her came rushing back as if no time had past at all, as if nothing had happened.
"Mara," was all he could say.
"Yes," interrupted Faith. "Mara and Xander. Are we gonna do this all night?"
Mara ignored her. All she could think about was finally seeing Xander again. A flood of emotions came rushing over her. Love, happiness, anger, hatred, and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to rip his heart out and feed it to him, but now she was finally looking into his eyes, she just wanted to feel his arms around her again.
"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful you are," he said.
"You forgot a lot of things didn't you Xander," she said softly. "You left me."
Xander took a step towards her. She stepped back. He paused. "I didn't want to," he replied. "After you were sent away, Galadriel cursed me. I've lived with nothing but guilt over everything I've done. But mostly over what I did to you."
Mara tilted her head and looked at him. "I don't believe you," she whispered. "You said you loved me."
"I did love you. I still do," Xander replied softly. "I'm so sorry."
"Well this is just sweet," Faith said sarcastically. "A nice fuzzy moment. Should I take a picture and make it a Kodak one?"
"Just another way you are alone and jealous isn't it Faith," Xander said sadly as he looked at her. "You hide your loneliness behind that wall you have built up around you. You like to think you're tough and can handle anything alone, because you always have had to. But you had people you could depend on. People always on your side. You just didn't know how to ask for help."
"I don't need help," Faith yelled. "I can choose who I want and don't want in my life. And I never wanted you."
"You did once," he said quietly.
Faith laughed. "Still obsessing over that? We had sex Xander. It wasn't the 'big romance' you like to think it was. I was horny. You were there."
"Maybe back then I did 'obsess' over it, and you Faith, but I got over it a long time ago. I also got over you."
"Like you got over Buffy?" she retorted. "Even after all this time, you still want her and still can't have her. And it kills you doesn't it? She would rather be with a Vampire than with you."
"But she's not with him anymore is she?" he snapped back.
"No she's not," growled Angelus as he stepped out of the shadows.
"Now isn't this a nice little gathering," Xander said. "Made new friends already Mara?"
"Friends who won't abandon me," she said softly. "I've been so lonely for so long."
"Mara, I am sorry. If things had been different..."
"You would have still left her," Angelus cut in. "Admit it to her Xander. You only cared about saving your own ass. You cared nothing about her."
"You weren't there," he yelled. "You have no idea what I was going through. Although, actually you should since you have been in my position too. Back when you had your soul. I take it its gone bye byes again?"
Angelus threw back his head and laughed. "And thank hell for that! No more moping around feeling all guilty for all the little 'bad' things I've done. And I have done A LOT of those. Souls. They take away all the pleasure and fun in being undead."
"You remember the fun we used to have don't you Xander?" Mara asked.
"I remember," he replied.
Mara walked closer to him. She reached out her hand and lightly grazed her fingers over his chest. "We could have that again," she purred.
Xander closed his eyes and let her words wash over him as he remembered. He remembered Mara as the sweet girl he met and fell for, then the monster he created. He remembered the fun they had had together. The fear they had created, and the passion.
"Its too late," he said. "I can't go back to what I was."
Mara pouted. "You said you loved me. You can have me again Xander. I'm right here waiting for you. Come back to me Xander."
He tried so hard, but it was never enough. Why was it everyone always expected more? He made mistakes. Everyone did. Granted everyone wasn't responsible for creating an evil that had killed more over time than all the wars combined. Everyone wasn't to blame for Faith's 'death'. He was. And there was nothing he could do to make up for it. No matter how hard he tried.
He'd lived with Galadriel's curse…his soul…for centuries. In a way, he did understand Angel's torment. Not that he would ever admit that to Buffy. That would mean one more thing he was wrong about and he already had a long list.
His biggest regret though was Mara. She had loved him before everything changed. She had loved him when he was just plain old Xander Harris. He had destroyed her too. He had taken her trust and innocence and changed her into a creature of evil. Then he'd abandoned her to her fate. Galadriel had banished her and he never found out where she'd been sent to. He'd also never tried to get her back. He'd left her wherever she was and wallowed in his guilt.
Now, maybe she was back, in this time. Back to destroy him, seek revenge or to help him? All he knew was what the prophecy said. Only he and the Daughter of Fire…Faith…would be able to stop her and the one they were searching for. That led him to think that she would be out for revenge. But would she know he was here too?
~*~
"What other things?" Angelus snarled.
"For one thing, I bet neither of you has taken our guest out and shown her the town," Faith smirked. "Or taken her out for dinner and dancing."
"The sun is out you stupid girl," Angelus spat. "And anyway, I don't dance."
"It was a figure of speech," Faith said rolling her eyes. "And don't call me a stupid girl. I am the only one who knows what is going on here and can make all your plans succeed. What can you do Vampire? Just go do what you do best. Stand in the shadows and brood. Either that or go back to licking Buffy's feet."
Angelus growled and lunged at her, his face changing. This time he took her by surprise and had knocked her off her feet before she could react. Faith landed in a puddle on the floor, the breath knocked out of her. She tried to stand back up, but he had been too quick for her and was kneel astride her, his fists pounding into her face and shoulders. Faith spat at him and struggled to release her hands from beneath his knees, but she was trapped.
"Typical neutered Vampire," she laughed. "You can only hit a woman when she's down."
Angelus sent a stunning backhand across her face. The slap echoed throughout the room, causing Richard to squirm. He didn't like the violence, but he wanted Faith to suffer a little for destroying his little secret. He would step in….eventually.
"What is the food like in this place?" Mara asked, totally oblivious to what was going on.
The unexpected question from the female caused Angelus to stop his attack on Faith and sit back.
"As someone I once knew said to someone else I once knew…happy meals on legs, although without the dinky toy," he replied.
"Happy meal?" she asked.
"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about," Richard said. He reached down and grabbed Angelus by the arm and pulled him off Faith. "Maybe you could take Mara out and get something to eat. I'm sure our guest is, as Faith suggested, famished."
"And the sunlight?" Angelus asked.
"There are ways to get around without the sunlight being a problem," he continued. "You know that better than anyone. Plus there won't be daylight for much longer."
Angelus stood and glared down at Faith. "This isn't over bitch. Next time…"
"Next time I won't be taken by surprise," she finished for him.
~*~
Xander sat in the cemetery lost in thought. He wondered how many of the occupants were there due to him. Not directly of course, but because of what he was. He also wondered how many of the occupants were still occupying their 'final resting place'.
Before he met Buffy, he'd never given much thought to cemeteries. To him, they were just creepy places he avoided at night or only went to when someone died. Then he learnt why cemeteries were creepy. He knew now why they had always scared him. But now, they didn't. He found them oddly soothing. Almost tranquil. Here, he was away from the accusing looks everyone gave him. They might not have meant to, but they did it all the same.
He could smell the approaching darkness before he saw it. Everything changed when darkness approached. Maybe they were used to the evil that came out to play after nightfall. Centuries of practice had taught them well. He watched and waited for the darkness to cover the world in its enveloping embrace. Maybe some of the cemetery's occupants would be waking up to a new existance. Expecting a peaceful afterlife, they would find themselves in the waking nightmare he had brought down upon the world.
"I've always loved the night," came a voice from behind him. Xander spun around and found Faith standing there watching him. "Even when I was a child, I was never afraid of the dark like most. It always felt safe to me. Even when I found out about my calling as a Slayer, it still felt safe. Maybe I'm just at home in the darkness, like you are Xander."
"Not anymore," he replied.
Faith laughed. "You're kidding yourself if you think you are any different from them."
"I am different," Xander yelled. "I'm no longer a monster, nothing but an animal, like they are."
Faith walked slowly towards Xander. She reached out her hand and slowly trailed a finger down his cheek. "Once a monster, always a monster," she whispered seductively. "You should be the ruler of them all. But instead you are nothing more than a toothless puppy. You always have been. You have the power to rule them all. Rule this town. But instead you bow and scrape to Buffy. You've let her own you when you should own her. That's what you've always wanted isn't it Xander. You've always wanted Buffy. But she's always been too busy to notice you."
Xander knew she was right, but he refused to admit it to her. "You're wrong," he said through clenched teeth.
Xander could feel Faith's breath against his cheek as her lips moved closer to his ear. "I'm right and you know it. You have the power to take it all Xander. To take Sunnydale and to take Buffy. But you don't have the balls to do it do you? You're always be the follower of the Slayer and never the leader. You're pathetic."
Xander slapped her hand away. "You're the pathetic one," he spat at her. "Always so jealous of Buffy. Always the one left out. You make me sick Faith."
Faith smiled. "I didn't always make you sick though did I? In fact I remember I used to…"
"That was a long time ago," Xander said quietly. "Before I found out what you were really like."
"And what am I like?" she asked.
"A jealous, insecure nothing," he replied. "You will never be anything more. Buffy will always be better than you, smarter than you and she'll always have everyone behind her. What will you have Faith? Nothing!"
"She has me."
Xander knew that voice.
"Mara?" he gasped.
He knew there was a chance she was already here. The prophecy had predicted her arrival, but he hadn't been prepared for seeing her again.
"My Xander," she said softly, stepping out of the shadows.
She looked as beautiful as ever, he noticed. All the feelings he had for her came rushing back as if no time had past at all, as if nothing had happened.
"Mara," was all he could say.
"Yes," interrupted Faith. "Mara and Xander. Are we gonna do this all night?"
Mara ignored her. All she could think about was finally seeing Xander again. A flood of emotions came rushing over her. Love, happiness, anger, hatred, and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to rip his heart out and feed it to him, but now she was finally looking into his eyes, she just wanted to feel his arms around her again.
"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful you are," he said.
"You forgot a lot of things didn't you Xander," she said softly. "You left me."
Xander took a step towards her. She stepped back. He paused. "I didn't want to," he replied. "After you were sent away, Galadriel cursed me. I've lived with nothing but guilt over everything I've done. But mostly over what I did to you."
Mara tilted her head and looked at him. "I don't believe you," she whispered. "You said you loved me."
"I did love you. I still do," Xander replied softly. "I'm so sorry."
"Well this is just sweet," Faith said sarcastically. "A nice fuzzy moment. Should I take a picture and make it a Kodak one?"
"Just another way you are alone and jealous isn't it Faith," Xander said sadly as he looked at her. "You hide your loneliness behind that wall you have built up around you. You like to think you're tough and can handle anything alone, because you always have had to. But you had people you could depend on. People always on your side. You just didn't know how to ask for help."
"I don't need help," Faith yelled. "I can choose who I want and don't want in my life. And I never wanted you."
"You did once," he said quietly.
Faith laughed. "Still obsessing over that? We had sex Xander. It wasn't the 'big romance' you like to think it was. I was horny. You were there."
"Maybe back then I did 'obsess' over it, and you Faith, but I got over it a long time ago. I also got over you."
"Like you got over Buffy?" she retorted. "Even after all this time, you still want her and still can't have her. And it kills you doesn't it? She would rather be with a Vampire than with you."
"But she's not with him anymore is she?" he snapped back.
"No she's not," growled Angelus as he stepped out of the shadows.
"Now isn't this a nice little gathering," Xander said. "Made new friends already Mara?"
"Friends who won't abandon me," she said softly. "I've been so lonely for so long."
"Mara, I am sorry. If things had been different..."
"You would have still left her," Angelus cut in. "Admit it to her Xander. You only cared about saving your own ass. You cared nothing about her."
"You weren't there," he yelled. "You have no idea what I was going through. Although, actually you should since you have been in my position too. Back when you had your soul. I take it its gone bye byes again?"
Angelus threw back his head and laughed. "And thank hell for that! No more moping around feeling all guilty for all the little 'bad' things I've done. And I have done A LOT of those. Souls. They take away all the pleasure and fun in being undead."
"You remember the fun we used to have don't you Xander?" Mara asked.
"I remember," he replied.
Mara walked closer to him. She reached out her hand and lightly grazed her fingers over his chest. "We could have that again," she purred.
Xander closed his eyes and let her words wash over him as he remembered. He remembered Mara as the sweet girl he met and fell for, then the monster he created. He remembered the fun they had had together. The fear they had created, and the passion.
"Its too late," he said. "I can't go back to what I was."
Mara pouted. "You said you loved me. You can have me again Xander. I'm right here waiting for you. Come back to me Xander."