A Fire Inside
The Great Hall was empty and quiet. Harry sat before a small table located in the center of the vast room. He closed his eyes, hearing the screaming, the shouting and the dying that had occurred not long ago in the room.
It was all gone now of course. The blood stains, the scorch marks, the shattered furniture. They had all been removed and the stone floors and wall scrubbed until they sparkled again, and the scorch marks magic out of the wood. Even with all that Harry could still hear the screams.
He took a deep breath and concentrated upon what lay before him. It was his idea, it was his own insistence that he be here. Ginny had told him to face his fears, to battle against the darkness that would sweep him away. This was his first step.
There was a creaking and Harry looked up to see a small figure walking into the Great Hall. Her robes swirled around her ankles, and her blue eyes were bright and clear. He flaming red hair, neatly tied back and cascading down her back. For a moment Harry couldn't breath. He felt something stir within his chest, but he pushed it down.
It had been several days since that night in the Hospital Wing. He had only seen her a handful of times in the days since that night. It shamed him to be relieved to know she knew no anger towards him and that she was willing to be at his side. After all he had done.
She smiled brightly as she came near the table. Harry got up slowly, leaning heavily upon a cane. He nodded to her and tried to smile, but he face wouldn't move. Ginny didn't seem offended by his lack of emotions, she quickly settled into the chair across form him, brushing a red strand of hair from her face.
Harry blinked and looked away. He sat down heavily again, feeling an ache in his leg and a little out of breath. He had barely managed to get down from the Hospital Wing to the Great Hall. Dobby had to lend him several hands, all the time frantically telling him to return back to the Hospital Wing.
Ginny's eyes scanned the Great Hall. Harry could see the images flashing through her mind. The yelling, screaming, and dying. He began having doubts about asking her to meet him here.
"We can go somewhere else if you want." Harry said softly.
Ginny shook her head and forced a smile upon her face. "It's nothing, just memories. I remember the first time coming here, I was so amazed and so happy. I remember all the times we were in here, just laughing and having a meal." She closed her eyes again, her smile faltering a moment.
"They were good times." Harry said, trying to think of something else to say. He felt foolish and tactless. "I'm glad you came."
Ginny smiled again, this a real genuine smile. "I've missed you. You're been wandering about the last couple of days. I've been trying to talk to you." She said, reaching across the table for his hands. Harry unconsciously jerked them back. She looked taken aback for a moment.
Harry looked down at his hands. The bandages had been taken off and now he could see what had happened to them. The skin scarred and ruined. He didn't know if it could be healed. He didn't know if he wanted them to heal.
Harry cleared his throat, placing his hands upon his lap. He would need to find gloves soon. "This hall was built to let people gather. A place of eating and spending time with those that you love." Ginny smiled again at those words. "There are so many good and loving memories from generations of Hogwarts' students that have made this place a place of joy and happiness. One day of death and destruction should not change that."
"I agree, Harry." Ginny said. She looked at him, there was a boldness in her gaze that set his heart beating, a small smile played at her lips, but it didn't show itself. "How have you been, Harry." She laughed, was there nervousness in her voice? "We live in the same place, but we hardly ever see each other." Harry was glad she didn't add the fact that he had been avoiding her for the past few days. "Are the dreams any better?"
Harry looked away. They weren't any better, but they weren't any worst either. "I-I..." He tried thinking of a lie, but couldn't.
A wild flapping and screeching saved him from answering. From the large open windows a small owl came racing in, bearing a small package. Harry watched the owl for a moment, it had been Ron's. He felt a stab of pain, but he pushed it aside.
Ginny watched his gaze. She cursed under her breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. I use him to send letters every now and then. He usually only comes to my room." She tried to explain as Pig swooped to their table.
"Why should you be sorry?" Harry asked, trying to block the pain and despair that was building. Would he ever stop hurting? "There's nothing to be sorry about. You use to care for Pig just as much as Ron did."
The small owl dropped the package and as if sensing the mood of the table flapped off violently, leaving a few feathers fluttering in the air. Ginny watched him go.
"You still subscribe to the Daily Prophet?" Harry asked, picking up the rolled newspaper.
Ginny nodded. "There's times I want to know what's going out in the world. How people are dealing with the defeat of Voldemort and what he caused." She added softly.
"I'm sorry if I'm keeping you here." Harry said. "I don't want you to hang around here for pity, I don't need it and you shouldn't be giving it." His voice sounded harsh and he felt a twinge of anger.
Ginny looked aghast. 'No. No. It's not that. It's..." She tried struggling for the word. "I'd never leave you, Harry." She said finally.
Harry blinked at her in surprise. He tried meeting her gaze but couldn't. How could someone still be by his side after all that he caused? After he had killed her brother, after he had lead good boys and girls to their death. He glanced away, unfolding the newspaper.
He clenched the newspaper tightly as he saw the headline.
MALFOYS SPOTTED IN SPAIN
According to the Provisional Ministry of Magic, the Death Eaters, Lucius and Draco Malfoy were spotted in Spain last week. The two are known as high ranking Death Eaters and are wanted for the attack upon the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the terrible lost of life caused in both attacks.
Reports are sketchy at best, but several members of the International Magical Office of Law are said to have seen the Malfoys in Madrid, Spain last week. An attempt to give chase was done, but the two disappeared. The Spanish Ministry of Magic is offering full cooperation with the Provisional Ministry of Magic to find and capture these two terrible murderers.
The Malfoys are only two of many Death Eaters that managed to escape from the Battle at Hogwarts. Many of those that were fighting alongside the Dark Lord were either killed or captured, but a large number still escaped capture. Mainly due to the plans laid in advanced for just such an eventuality.
Minister of Magic Pro tem...
Harry stopped reading. He clenched the newspaper in his hands and felt a rage burning inside of him. it was as if someone had lit a fire in his insides and fanned the flames. He felt hot, he couldn't breath, and he felt like screaming and yelling.
"What's wrong, Harry?" Ginny asked concerned.
"They're still alive?" He asked harshly.
"What?" Ginny glanced at the newspaper in his hands.
Harry thrust the newspaper across the table and Ginny quickly scanned the article. She didn't look surprise.
"How many survived? How many got away?" He demanded after she had set the newspaper down.
Ginny closed her eyes. "I don't know. Less than a dozen. We don't really know who, beyond the Goyles and the Malfoys. They were seen leaving, but the others are only speculation. It's assumed Mcnair and Pettigrew also escaped. The other we don't know. Voldemort had a lot of Death Eaters, many who were never even known to be Death Eaters."
Harry gritted his teeth. They weren't all killed. They weren't dead. They were out there, free and living. Harry leaned upon the table, dropping his head into his hands. His breath came in short painful gasps.
"Are you alright, Harry?" Ginny asked softly.
"NO!" Harry roared rising to his feet. He felt sick and woozy, the room spun for a moment, but he clutched the table for support. "They're alive! Those murdering bastards are still out there!"
Harry grabbed his cane and began heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Demanded Ginny. She quickly caught up with him, grabbing his robes to make him stop.
Harry pulled his robes out of her hand and turned on her. He seemed to suddenly tower over her, his face darkened and his eyes burning the a fiery. Ginny was reminded of the when he had fought Voldemort, she felt fear and she stepped back.
"Where am I going?" Harry roared, advancing upon her. Ginny gave ground. "I'm going to find them! I'm going to kill them! I'm going to make them pay for what they did. I'm going to make them suffer for all they killed and all they destroyed!"
Ginny held her ground, her anger flaring to life. "Revenge? Is that all you can think of? Revenge!" She roared back at him. It was his turn to flinch and step back. Ginny was not a tall woman, but she stared him down. Matching his anger with her own anger. "Is all that you can think of is killing them and destroying them? Is that all you have left inside you!"
"What? You don't want revenge for what they did? You don't want them dead for all they destroyed. They killed your brothers, your mother and father-"
Ginny slapped him. A lightning fast strike across his face. Her eyes no longer burned in anger, instead they smoldered with something Harry couldn't identify. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare use my family as an excuse to kill." She whispered softly. "They loved life. They loved one another. Do you think they'd thank you if you killed in their name."
"But-" Harry began.
"Listen to me!" Ginny roared. She stabbed a finger into his chest. "Blood by the gallons have already been shed. A whole generation of witches and wizards have been killed and ruined. There has been enough death. There has been enough killing." She said. "It'll destroy you. It'll eat you up from the inside. It'll destroy all that's beautiful and all that's good in you. All this hate, all this death and destruction." Tears sparkled in her eyes and her voice began to crack.
Harry closed his eyes, his shoulders suddenly slumping and the anger fluttering away. He felt empty and sad. He felt tired and aching. "They need to pay for what they did." Harry said, there was no force behind his words.
"Then let someone else do it. Let someone else hunt them down and do what they will with them. You're fight is over, Harry." Ginny reached up, cupping his face in her hands. "You have a chance at a new life, a life given to you by those that loved you the most. Don't throw it away with hate and lust for revenge. Live it and show them that they didn't die in vain."
Her words touched him. Her words warmed him and made him feel something he thought was gone. He stared down at her blue eyes, but all he could see was the shocked and dying look of his friend. All he could think of was the screaming, the sadistic laughing, and the sightless dead eyes of scores of children.
Ginny saw it. She saw it burn in his eyes. She dropped away her hands and she suddenly seemed so tiny.
Harry gripped her shoulder. "I am death. I am hate. I am revenge. All those that love me die. All those that care for me hurt. All those that stand beside me get swept away. I've lost everything that was dear to me. Revenge is all I have left." Harry said. His voice was emotionless and distant.
"What about me?" Ginny said. "What do I have left? What do I have at all?" She looked up at him. "You talk of revenge. You talk of hate. You say that's all you have left, but are you so blind to see that you have choices?"
"You think you're the only one who lost someone? What about the thousands of mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters out there that have lost someone. You think that you're the only one who wants revenge. I want revenge. I want those bastards dead even more than you do. I want them destroyed and their souls crushed to nothing. I hate them for what they did. I hate them for what they are."
"But what will their deaths solve? What will it matter? They'll be dead, but it'll heal nothing. It won't make anyone come back, it won't soothe any hurt. Revenge solves nothing. It doesn't make anything better, it doesn't make you feel any happier."
"Then help me. Help me find them and destroy them." Harry said.
Ginny stared at him, then she began screaming. "Have you heard nothing. Have you understood nothing!" She advanced upon him. "Will you throw away your life just to feel a moment's satisfaction that you made someone else feel the pain you're feeling. Will you destroy all that you are in the hunt for these fools? You have choices Harry. You can give up the hate. You can live a life. You can forget all this pain and all this misery by making a new life filled with joy and happiness."
"It'll only be destroyed." Harry said abruptly. "I'll be crushed and it'll be burned. As everything burns and everything is ruined by me."
"You said that revenge is all that you have left. All that I have left is love. My love for you." Ginny said. "Revenge will solve nothing. Hate will get you nowhere. But love...love will build something better and stronger than what we've lost. I'll make the world a better place, instead of plunging it deeper into darkness." Her voice was a soft whisper. "You said that you wanted to build a better life with me Harry. I still want that life. I still want that chance at happiness. Take my hand, Harry. Let's build that life together."
Harry watched her. His hands hesitated for a moment, then he placed it upon the back of her hand. Slowly closing her hand.
"I'll only bring darkness to you. All I'll bring is pain and hurt to you." Harry said, his voice cracking. "You deserve better. You deserve far better." He turned and walked off, Ginny stood there watching him leave.
"You've already brought pain and hurt." She whispered.
The Great Hall was empty and quiet. Harry sat before a small table located in the center of the vast room. He closed his eyes, hearing the screaming, the shouting and the dying that had occurred not long ago in the room.
It was all gone now of course. The blood stains, the scorch marks, the shattered furniture. They had all been removed and the stone floors and wall scrubbed until they sparkled again, and the scorch marks magic out of the wood. Even with all that Harry could still hear the screams.
He took a deep breath and concentrated upon what lay before him. It was his idea, it was his own insistence that he be here. Ginny had told him to face his fears, to battle against the darkness that would sweep him away. This was his first step.
There was a creaking and Harry looked up to see a small figure walking into the Great Hall. Her robes swirled around her ankles, and her blue eyes were bright and clear. He flaming red hair, neatly tied back and cascading down her back. For a moment Harry couldn't breath. He felt something stir within his chest, but he pushed it down.
It had been several days since that night in the Hospital Wing. He had only seen her a handful of times in the days since that night. It shamed him to be relieved to know she knew no anger towards him and that she was willing to be at his side. After all he had done.
She smiled brightly as she came near the table. Harry got up slowly, leaning heavily upon a cane. He nodded to her and tried to smile, but he face wouldn't move. Ginny didn't seem offended by his lack of emotions, she quickly settled into the chair across form him, brushing a red strand of hair from her face.
Harry blinked and looked away. He sat down heavily again, feeling an ache in his leg and a little out of breath. He had barely managed to get down from the Hospital Wing to the Great Hall. Dobby had to lend him several hands, all the time frantically telling him to return back to the Hospital Wing.
Ginny's eyes scanned the Great Hall. Harry could see the images flashing through her mind. The yelling, screaming, and dying. He began having doubts about asking her to meet him here.
"We can go somewhere else if you want." Harry said softly.
Ginny shook her head and forced a smile upon her face. "It's nothing, just memories. I remember the first time coming here, I was so amazed and so happy. I remember all the times we were in here, just laughing and having a meal." She closed her eyes again, her smile faltering a moment.
"They were good times." Harry said, trying to think of something else to say. He felt foolish and tactless. "I'm glad you came."
Ginny smiled again, this a real genuine smile. "I've missed you. You're been wandering about the last couple of days. I've been trying to talk to you." She said, reaching across the table for his hands. Harry unconsciously jerked them back. She looked taken aback for a moment.
Harry looked down at his hands. The bandages had been taken off and now he could see what had happened to them. The skin scarred and ruined. He didn't know if it could be healed. He didn't know if he wanted them to heal.
Harry cleared his throat, placing his hands upon his lap. He would need to find gloves soon. "This hall was built to let people gather. A place of eating and spending time with those that you love." Ginny smiled again at those words. "There are so many good and loving memories from generations of Hogwarts' students that have made this place a place of joy and happiness. One day of death and destruction should not change that."
"I agree, Harry." Ginny said. She looked at him, there was a boldness in her gaze that set his heart beating, a small smile played at her lips, but it didn't show itself. "How have you been, Harry." She laughed, was there nervousness in her voice? "We live in the same place, but we hardly ever see each other." Harry was glad she didn't add the fact that he had been avoiding her for the past few days. "Are the dreams any better?"
Harry looked away. They weren't any better, but they weren't any worst either. "I-I..." He tried thinking of a lie, but couldn't.
A wild flapping and screeching saved him from answering. From the large open windows a small owl came racing in, bearing a small package. Harry watched the owl for a moment, it had been Ron's. He felt a stab of pain, but he pushed it aside.
Ginny watched his gaze. She cursed under her breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. I use him to send letters every now and then. He usually only comes to my room." She tried to explain as Pig swooped to their table.
"Why should you be sorry?" Harry asked, trying to block the pain and despair that was building. Would he ever stop hurting? "There's nothing to be sorry about. You use to care for Pig just as much as Ron did."
The small owl dropped the package and as if sensing the mood of the table flapped off violently, leaving a few feathers fluttering in the air. Ginny watched him go.
"You still subscribe to the Daily Prophet?" Harry asked, picking up the rolled newspaper.
Ginny nodded. "There's times I want to know what's going out in the world. How people are dealing with the defeat of Voldemort and what he caused." She added softly.
"I'm sorry if I'm keeping you here." Harry said. "I don't want you to hang around here for pity, I don't need it and you shouldn't be giving it." His voice sounded harsh and he felt a twinge of anger.
Ginny looked aghast. 'No. No. It's not that. It's..." She tried struggling for the word. "I'd never leave you, Harry." She said finally.
Harry blinked at her in surprise. He tried meeting her gaze but couldn't. How could someone still be by his side after all that he caused? After he had killed her brother, after he had lead good boys and girls to their death. He glanced away, unfolding the newspaper.
He clenched the newspaper tightly as he saw the headline.
MALFOYS SPOTTED IN SPAIN
According to the Provisional Ministry of Magic, the Death Eaters, Lucius and Draco Malfoy were spotted in Spain last week. The two are known as high ranking Death Eaters and are wanted for the attack upon the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the terrible lost of life caused in both attacks.
Reports are sketchy at best, but several members of the International Magical Office of Law are said to have seen the Malfoys in Madrid, Spain last week. An attempt to give chase was done, but the two disappeared. The Spanish Ministry of Magic is offering full cooperation with the Provisional Ministry of Magic to find and capture these two terrible murderers.
The Malfoys are only two of many Death Eaters that managed to escape from the Battle at Hogwarts. Many of those that were fighting alongside the Dark Lord were either killed or captured, but a large number still escaped capture. Mainly due to the plans laid in advanced for just such an eventuality.
Minister of Magic Pro tem...
Harry stopped reading. He clenched the newspaper in his hands and felt a rage burning inside of him. it was as if someone had lit a fire in his insides and fanned the flames. He felt hot, he couldn't breath, and he felt like screaming and yelling.
"What's wrong, Harry?" Ginny asked concerned.
"They're still alive?" He asked harshly.
"What?" Ginny glanced at the newspaper in his hands.
Harry thrust the newspaper across the table and Ginny quickly scanned the article. She didn't look surprise.
"How many survived? How many got away?" He demanded after she had set the newspaper down.
Ginny closed her eyes. "I don't know. Less than a dozen. We don't really know who, beyond the Goyles and the Malfoys. They were seen leaving, but the others are only speculation. It's assumed Mcnair and Pettigrew also escaped. The other we don't know. Voldemort had a lot of Death Eaters, many who were never even known to be Death Eaters."
Harry gritted his teeth. They weren't all killed. They weren't dead. They were out there, free and living. Harry leaned upon the table, dropping his head into his hands. His breath came in short painful gasps.
"Are you alright, Harry?" Ginny asked softly.
"NO!" Harry roared rising to his feet. He felt sick and woozy, the room spun for a moment, but he clutched the table for support. "They're alive! Those murdering bastards are still out there!"
Harry grabbed his cane and began heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Demanded Ginny. She quickly caught up with him, grabbing his robes to make him stop.
Harry pulled his robes out of her hand and turned on her. He seemed to suddenly tower over her, his face darkened and his eyes burning the a fiery. Ginny was reminded of the when he had fought Voldemort, she felt fear and she stepped back.
"Where am I going?" Harry roared, advancing upon her. Ginny gave ground. "I'm going to find them! I'm going to kill them! I'm going to make them pay for what they did. I'm going to make them suffer for all they killed and all they destroyed!"
Ginny held her ground, her anger flaring to life. "Revenge? Is that all you can think of? Revenge!" She roared back at him. It was his turn to flinch and step back. Ginny was not a tall woman, but she stared him down. Matching his anger with her own anger. "Is all that you can think of is killing them and destroying them? Is that all you have left inside you!"
"What? You don't want revenge for what they did? You don't want them dead for all they destroyed. They killed your brothers, your mother and father-"
Ginny slapped him. A lightning fast strike across his face. Her eyes no longer burned in anger, instead they smoldered with something Harry couldn't identify. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare use my family as an excuse to kill." She whispered softly. "They loved life. They loved one another. Do you think they'd thank you if you killed in their name."
"But-" Harry began.
"Listen to me!" Ginny roared. She stabbed a finger into his chest. "Blood by the gallons have already been shed. A whole generation of witches and wizards have been killed and ruined. There has been enough death. There has been enough killing." She said. "It'll destroy you. It'll eat you up from the inside. It'll destroy all that's beautiful and all that's good in you. All this hate, all this death and destruction." Tears sparkled in her eyes and her voice began to crack.
Harry closed his eyes, his shoulders suddenly slumping and the anger fluttering away. He felt empty and sad. He felt tired and aching. "They need to pay for what they did." Harry said, there was no force behind his words.
"Then let someone else do it. Let someone else hunt them down and do what they will with them. You're fight is over, Harry." Ginny reached up, cupping his face in her hands. "You have a chance at a new life, a life given to you by those that loved you the most. Don't throw it away with hate and lust for revenge. Live it and show them that they didn't die in vain."
Her words touched him. Her words warmed him and made him feel something he thought was gone. He stared down at her blue eyes, but all he could see was the shocked and dying look of his friend. All he could think of was the screaming, the sadistic laughing, and the sightless dead eyes of scores of children.
Ginny saw it. She saw it burn in his eyes. She dropped away her hands and she suddenly seemed so tiny.
Harry gripped her shoulder. "I am death. I am hate. I am revenge. All those that love me die. All those that care for me hurt. All those that stand beside me get swept away. I've lost everything that was dear to me. Revenge is all I have left." Harry said. His voice was emotionless and distant.
"What about me?" Ginny said. "What do I have left? What do I have at all?" She looked up at him. "You talk of revenge. You talk of hate. You say that's all you have left, but are you so blind to see that you have choices?"
"You think you're the only one who lost someone? What about the thousands of mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters out there that have lost someone. You think that you're the only one who wants revenge. I want revenge. I want those bastards dead even more than you do. I want them destroyed and their souls crushed to nothing. I hate them for what they did. I hate them for what they are."
"But what will their deaths solve? What will it matter? They'll be dead, but it'll heal nothing. It won't make anyone come back, it won't soothe any hurt. Revenge solves nothing. It doesn't make anything better, it doesn't make you feel any happier."
"Then help me. Help me find them and destroy them." Harry said.
Ginny stared at him, then she began screaming. "Have you heard nothing. Have you understood nothing!" She advanced upon him. "Will you throw away your life just to feel a moment's satisfaction that you made someone else feel the pain you're feeling. Will you destroy all that you are in the hunt for these fools? You have choices Harry. You can give up the hate. You can live a life. You can forget all this pain and all this misery by making a new life filled with joy and happiness."
"It'll only be destroyed." Harry said abruptly. "I'll be crushed and it'll be burned. As everything burns and everything is ruined by me."
"You said that revenge is all that you have left. All that I have left is love. My love for you." Ginny said. "Revenge will solve nothing. Hate will get you nowhere. But love...love will build something better and stronger than what we've lost. I'll make the world a better place, instead of plunging it deeper into darkness." Her voice was a soft whisper. "You said that you wanted to build a better life with me Harry. I still want that life. I still want that chance at happiness. Take my hand, Harry. Let's build that life together."
Harry watched her. His hands hesitated for a moment, then he placed it upon the back of her hand. Slowly closing her hand.
"I'll only bring darkness to you. All I'll bring is pain and hurt to you." Harry said, his voice cracking. "You deserve better. You deserve far better." He turned and walked off, Ginny stood there watching him leave.
"You've already brought pain and hurt." She whispered.