Dreaming to get back
A/N: oops; sorry for the long wait. I have a really nasty case of writer's block but I'll post something so that you'll know that didn't give up yet.
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Kagome laid awake, staring at the ceiling of the small hut as she thought about her day. Her friends were, let's just say, shocked to see her. After getting over the initial stage of shock, the girls moved on to the next stage: gossip. They talked about everything from how hard it was on them to move on after she left to what they ate for breakfast. Kagome found out that Sango and Miroku got married earlier that year. Kagome was happy for her friend, really she was, but she still loathed the love they found and shared.
'God I'm so horrible, how can I be jealous of my friends?' Kagome couldn't comprehend why everyone was happy around her while she was depressed. What did she do that made Kami hate her so much? Why couldn't she be happy like she used to be? Simple, because she wouldn't let herself be happy. She let her guard down before, when she was with Inu yasha. She admitted that it felt nice having her heart be filled with love other than the sorrow and regret that was heaving her heart before. But Kagome wasn't stupid. She knew that the loving feeling wouldn't last long. There was no such thing as love to her.
"Damn, all this thinking is making my head hurt," Kagome whispered to the darkness before she got up to go out side. The warm breeze covered her body like a warm blanket, and the stars twinkled mischievously above her. 'Just like I remember it'.
She moved deeper into the welcoming darkness. Yeah, she knew it was dangerous to go out alone, but she really didn't give a rat's ass. Not surprisingly she wound up near the God tree. She put her hand on the rough bark and admired the texture. "If only I could go back to the past, I would have changed so many things. I messed up so badly, I want to get another chance… oh man I'm starting to think like Kikyo" Kagome winced at the bitter name that brought up so many wonderfully horrible memories. Who knew that one word can bring forth such a reaction?
When she thought about Kikyo, she thought about the jewel, and that made her think about the demons, which in turn made her think of her past adventure, and eventually she thought about Inu yasha. It was the never ending circle of doom.
"Inu yasha thinks that I forgave him, little does he know. Does he really think that I could do that so fast?" Kagome paused as if expecting the tree to answer. When it didn't she continued, "Because I won't, we hurt each other too much to move on that easily. Kami, I don't think I'll ever forgive him".
"Talking to your self again Kagome?" A husky voice asked behind her. OOOhhhh, she could almost hear the smirk in his voice!
"Go away Inu yasha, if I wanted to talk to you then I would, but obviously I don't so just…leave me alone!" Kagome mentally flinched at the bitter way her voice sounded but hey, that's what she was, bitter.
"S-sorry, I thought that since that we were talking again and all, that we would, you know, spent some time together or something," Inu yasha's voice was barley above a whisper when he said the last part. Kagome turned around, almost giving herself a whip lash in the process, and looked at him sharply.
"Well you thought wrong, I never wanted to come back here. I never wanted to see you, but because of some horribly twisted joke that the gods are playing on me I was pulled back. I don't have the strength to deal with you right now, so for the last time LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kagome faltered when she saw Inu yasha's ears drop, but oh no she wasn't about to forgive him just because he had very adorable ears.
Instead of leaving Kagome alone, Inu yasha covered up his hurt feelings with his anger. "Yeah, well it's not like I wanted you to ever come back in the first place. I was fine before you showed your sorry ass here. Now you're trying to make me feel guilty for the past, well for your information I already had Kikyo for that. I don't need you to come here acting as if you're the only one here that's hurt and suffering, because you're not. Got that, wench!" Inu yasha knew that his whole speech wasn't necessary and it only distanced himself from Kagome even more. Shit, what happened to doing everything in his power so that Kagome can forgive him and love him? With that he turned away and ran.
Kagome stared at the empty space before her. She knew she hurt him, but she wasn't suppose to care. God, she was suppose to hate him for all eternity! Somehow she knew that wasn't going to happen. She tried to suppress a large sob but failed to do so. Soon tears started to fall, and before she knew it she became a human waterfall. She brought her knees up to her face, and rocked herself to sleep.
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Uh oh…sorry for the really, really short chapter, but like I said before, I just wanted to let you know I didn't give up on this story and I have a case of writer's block. Oh and sorry for making Kagome so bitchy in this chapter. But that's only because she bottled her feelings up for a long time, and I guess she's slowly exploding.
Well like always review!
Sayonara
