Chapter 16 - Questions and Answers and Questions

Raphael woke up early, to the sounds of breakfast being made down in the kitchen. He made his way downstairs, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen, listening to Michaelangelo hum as he swept around the kitchen. Mikey'd been so happy about them all going and visiting Splinter. The whole past week he'd been in a good mood. Raphael wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing. He did, but he didn't. He wanted to visit, but that meant all those emotions… and someone would probably cry…

Mike looked over to him from the counter.

"Morning!" He said, cheerfully. "Breakfast's just about done. Come sit down."

Raph did as Mike asked and sat down at the table. He put an elbow on the table, and put his head on his hand.

"So, what're you doing up so early?"

"Just getting breakfast ready." Michaelangelo replied cheerfully.

Raphael rolled his eyes. "Well, I can see that." He said. "But why?"

Mike shook his head, smiling. "I'm in a good mood today." He said.

"You know," Raph started. "This may not go as well as you hoped."

"What are you…" Mike started, but was interrupted by Leo coming through the door.

"Morning, Leo." Mike said.

"Hey." Leo replied.

Raph eyed him. "Morning." Leo'd been quiet since they'd decided to do this. More than he'd been since they'd come up to the farmhouse.

Donatello came in next. He silently went and grabbed orange juice, then sat down at the table.

Raph looked between the two of them, Leo and Don. He sighed inwardly. Leo didn't want to go, fine. Everyone knew that. They all also knew that Don disagreed with Leo. While Don wouldn't say much about it, they all knew. He opened his mouth, about to say something, when Mikey spoke up.

"So, what does everyone want for lunch today?" He grabbed a plate and sat down next to Don. "I'm going to pack a picnic basket."

Don looked up from the paper and smiled at this. "Good idea, Mikey." He looked out the window. "It looks like it's going to stay nice today."

Raph nodded. "Yeah. Hey, you know, I think I'll take one of those roast beef sandwiches."

Mike nodded happily. "OK, cool." He turned to face Leo.

"I don't care." Leo held a hand up, waving it dismissively. "Just give me whatever."

Mike's smile froze, and Don frowned. "Leo…"

Leo sighed. "Look, whatever makes you happy, OK?"

"Leo, you don't need to be rude about it." Don turned to Mike. "Roast beef for me, too."

"What being rude?" Leo said. "I just said I didn't care…"

"I know that." Don started out patiently. "But it's the way you said it. We all know you don't want to go…"

"What do you all know?" Leo stood. "You don't know as much as you think you do, you know that?"

Don looked at him, frowning. "I know you haven't been sleeping again. I know there's more to that than you want to tell us. I know that for some reason, you…"

"Stop." Leo said.

But Don went on. "That you blame yourself for this, and are punishing yourself for it."

That was it, the final blow.

"No." Leo said, but his voice wavered. When had he become so transparent. But maybe you just wanted someone to see through you…

"Yes." Don said firmly, more firmly than Raph had heard him speak to Leo in… ever. "Leo, you are not to…"

"I'm not going." Leo said suddenly, standing up and turning to leave the room.

"Yes you are." Don stood also.

Leo looked at his brother in shock. He'd never talked to him like that before, like he could tell him what to do.

"You don't have the right…" Leo began.

"To what?" Don said. "To tell you that I think you should go?" He shook his head, looking at Leo. "I'm entitled to that Leo." He looked away for a minute. "To try and help you? I'm not allowed to do that."

"No." Leo said, turning away from him, not wanting to listen, not wanting to hear his brother's words.

"Why not?" Don asked, despair evident on his face.

"Because…" Leo began, turning to the counter. "Because you have no idea what it's like. What I'm going through."

"Because you won't let us know." Don said. "You won't let us help! God, Leo, give us a little credit. It wasn't just you that lost someone that day. It wasn't just you that lost their father."

"But it was just me that let him down." Leo turned to face him again, angry now, tears brimming in his eyes.

"No it wasn't." Don said, his voice rising. "There were four of us there that day, Leo. Four of us. We were all there. We all watched him die." He looked away for a moment, collecting himself. "How dare you." He said softly. "How dare you think that you're so special as to be the only one who made any difference in the matter."

His words hit Leo like a slap in the face. When he finally looked back up at Donatello, he saw his brother also had tears in his eyes, and a few had leaked down his face.

Leo opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again, and let out a choked breath. "I… It was just so hard…" He got out, then a sob left his throat, and he could feel an arm go around him as he sunk to the floor. Suddenly, everything around him went black, and he was transported back…

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Three years ago…

They had searched for almost an hour when Mike spotted them from across the roof.

"There." He said simply, pointing at the top of the building. Sure enough, there they were; they could see Splinter's form and the glare of light off Shredder's armor. They were locked in a heated battle, one which they all knew couldn't end well. But they could try.

"It'll be faster if we just jump from this building to the next." Raph said, preparing to jump.

"I don't know." Leo said, judging the distance. "We might not make it." He turned to Don. "What do you think?"

"I dunno." Don said, scratching his chin. "Maybe we could… but only with a perfect jump. Otherwise…"

"That settles it." Leo said. "We go from the ground up."

They all nodded, trusting in his decision, and went back down the building, making their way across to the next building over, where they were faced with Foot members guarding the entrance.

By the time they'd gotten past the guards, and made it up to the roof, the fight had escalated even more.

They got up there just in time to see Shredder make a last, desperate leap at Splinter, which Splinter avoided easily.

"This is for my master." Splinter said, then raised his staff in the air, and leapt toward Shredder, who had recovered, and threw himself at Splinter, also.

As the turtles watched in horror, Shredder pulled a dagger as he leapt, then the two collided, falling to the rooftop together. Splinter stood, and looked down at his opponent.

Shredder looked down at himself. "I… I have been…"

"Yes, Saki." Splinter said. "Pierced by your own dagger."

Shredder looked down at himself, blood dripping from his arm. He looked up at Splinter, and a grin came over his face. "You have not come out of this unscathed." He growled, then fell back softly. "I'll take you with me…" He spat, then fell unconscious.

The four turtles ran forward, reaching Splinter as he fell to his knees.

"Splinter!" Leo cried, then looked over to his brother. "Don?"

Don frowned, a pained expression on his face. "Poison tipped. The dagger…"

"We have to do something!" Leo cried, falling to his knees beside Splinter.

"Master?" Michaelangelo said softly, kneeling down, also. Raphael joined them.

Splinter opened his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but Leo put a finger up.

"Don't try to talk, Master Splinter. We're gonna get you home…" He turned to Don, who shook his head softly. Tears filled Leo's eyes and he looked away from Don and back to Splinter.

Splinter gasped as Donatello grabbed Leo's sword and cut the wound where Splinter had been stuck with the dagger open deeper, in an attempt to get some of the poison away.

"Mike." Don gasped, sweat beading on his forehead. "Gimmee a pulse."

Mike came out of his shock, and grabbed Splinter's wrist. "Um… Slow, Donnie, I think… Oh God…"

Don leapt up and grabbed Splinter's wrist. His face blanched and his eyes went wide. He sat back. "Oh no…"

"What?" Raph demanded.

"No…" Splinter gasped out. They all stopped and looked at him. "No." He repeated, more firmly this time, his voice growing stronger for a moment.

Splinter moved his head to look to the side.

"Master?" Leonardo asked softly.

Splinter looked off to side and whispered, "Without honor…."

Then he looked back at the four faces around him, and a small smile came over his face. "My sons…"

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"Leo… Leo, you know that was meant for Shredder. Not you." Don said, kneeling beside Leonardo.

"It wasn't just your fault." Raph said. "If anything, it was all of us. I didn't have to listen. I coulda just jumped across anyway. Either we're all at fault, or none of us. Not just one of us. We don't blame just one person…"

Don's face tightened at this remark, and Leo thought back to that night in horror. After Splinter had died, he'd looked for anyone to blame, anyone to make him feel better…

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Leo stood from where he knelt beside Splinter's still form. Raphael was standing alone across the rooftop, and Mike stood with Don.

Suddenly, Leo felt a surge of anger like he'd never felt for his brother before.

"Why didn't you do something?" He got out, walking across the roof.

Don looked at Mike, confusion on both their faces.

"You could have saved him!" Leo yelled. "Why didn't you save him?"

Don's mouth dropped open. "Leo, I… I tried, I…"

"You didn't do anything. You just let him die. You gave up before you even started…"

Mike looked at Don. He bit his lip, trying not to lose it.

"I…" Don started. "I did what I could…"

"No you didn't." Leo spat. "You're supposed to be so smart, why didn't you save him?"

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"Don." Leo whispered. "Oh God, Don. I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean…"

Don shook his head. "We all said things we didn't mean that day."

"No…" Leo shook his head. "Not you."

Don smiled, a small smile. "Sure I did." He said softly. "You just weren't around to hear them."

Leo chuckled softly.

"Leo, seriously." Raph said. "Shredder died without honor. That was what he meant, and you know it."

Leo nodded. "I'm sorry."

Raph sighed. "Oh, for God's sake, will you stop apologizing?" He stood up. "Jeez…"

Don smiled and stood up, too. "Let's try this another day." He looked out the window. "Besides, I don't want to hop all the way out there. If we wait, I'll be OK. Anyway, it's getting late."

They all nodded. Mike helped Leo up.

"Thank you." He said. "All of you." He put an arm around Don and Mike. "For putting up with me. It's not over yet, but it's getting easier."

"Gee, Leo. We had to put up with you." Raph said. "You know how long your lectures get when we don't?"

They all laughed, and Raph walked forward, joining them in the embrace.

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April looked over at Lindy, who was in her crib, looking at her.

"Sounds like they don't need me to watch you today, sweetie." She jumped slightly as the phone rang.

"Hello?" She asked, picking it up.

"Is this a Ms April O'Neil?"

"Yes." She answered slowly. "Who is…"

"This is the New York Police Department. We understand you were a witness in a robbery a few weeks ago…"

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A/N - OK, um, I didn't know if Shredder would use a dagger or not. But I figure it this way: he fights dirty, right? So, I let him use a dagger.