Chapter 20 - Revisiting the Past

April pulled the door open wider, not believing her eyes. After all this time… After everything that had happened… She stared up at him. "Casey?!"

************************************

"Aw, Leo." Mike sat on the ground, playing with a dandelion he had just plucked out of the ground. "Do we hafta do it again?"

"Yes." Leo said, patiently. "We haven't been practicing more than twice a week, three times at the most."

"Yeah, you know, I'm sure the Foot are just hiding out in the cornfield or somethin', just waiting to attack."

Leo sighed. "Raph…"

Don held a hand up, silencing them. "Guys." He said. "I think I heard a car."

Mike perked up. "Maybe it's the pizza guy." He said, smiling. "Maybe April ordered in!" He stood.

Raph rolled his eyes, and Leo sighed.

"Mikey," Don started. "The pizza guys don't deliver out here anymore, remember? They stopped that when they redid their routing system. Same as the chicken place. And we're not getting pizza, anyway." He grinned. "Recall the frozen pizza incident?"

Mike grinned. "I've never seen April move so fast in my life." He sat back down, laughing. "That was the last time she let you touch the oven…"

Don grinned. "You don't think that was an accident, do you?"

*************************************

"What are you doing here?" She hissed, shutting the door behind her, and leaning back against it.

"What, I'm not allowed to come and see you?" He asked, that mischievous, boyish smile that he always used on her plastered on his face. Although, she noted, he at least had the decency to look a little worried.

"No." She said, then again, this time more forcefully. "No, Casey, I don't think it's a good idea…"

"Look," He began, and the smile faded, a serious look on his face that he rarely showed. "I'm sorry, April. I really am, but it got too heavy for me, and you know that I don't handle heavy very well…"

"You… you don't handle…" She stammered, anger bubbling up inside of her. "You just ran off! You left me! Do you know how that made me feel?"

"I said I was sorry." He repeated, almost surprised at her anger.

"Good." She said. "God, Casey, you left me alone. I had no one to go to. No one. And then you left…"

"You didn't tell them?" He asked, now truly surprised.

She looked down, then back up at him. "No. How could I?" She looked around for a moment before continuing. "My God, Casey, Splinter had just died. Did you think that I could lay that on them, too?"

"Well, I didn't know." He frowned. "You tell them everything anyway."

"Oh, don't you start on that." She said, glaring at him. "Don't try to make this about them. I don't know why you insist on feeling threatened by them…"

"I never said that." He shot back. "You were the one who always made it about them…"

"This is not about them." She hissed. "This is about you, and how you just left me, the one time I really needed you." She looked away, her resolve cracking. "I really did. And then you were gone, and…" She cut off, looking down for a moment, and he said nothing, just waited. She looked back up at him, and it was a look of sadness on her face now, tears filling her eyes.

"Do you know how that made me feel?" She asked. "That I had to deal with that alone? That you just left, like you didn't care."

"I never said I didn't care." Casey started.

"You didn't have to say it, Casey. It showed. You didn't care then. Not about us. Not about me." She stopped again, then looked back up at him. "God, Casey. That was your baby, too."

***********************************

Leo sighed as the talking continued, and not the practice. At this rate, they'd never get back to training.

"Remember the look on her face?" Mike continued.

"Well, who knew that cheese was so hard to get out of…" Don started, but cut off when Raph held up his hand.

"Does anybody notice." He started. "That the car we heard never left?"

***********************************

"Could have been, April. You were never pregnant."

She scowled. "But I thought I was. And for you to decide that the thought that I might have been, then finding out that I wasn't was too much for you to handle…"

"Look, April, I told you…"

"Don't. Don't do this to me. Don't you give me this 'I can't deal with heavy crap' line, Casey. Because it stopped working on me a long time ago." She ran a hand through her hair. "We're grown-ups, Casey. We were when it happened, and we should have been able to deal with it like grown-ups." She shook her head. "But I think I'm the only one who's the adult here. And I don't want to have to put up with you."

He was silent for a long moment. "You're right." He nodded. "I'm an idiot, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear? I always have been, and I always will be." He looked down. "Can I at least stay here for a few nights? Until I can get a hotel or something?"

She sighed. "Well, I won't let you sleep on the street. Although I should. But the guys would probably like to see you. And if you were here and didn't stay with us, they might get a little suspicious." She sighed again. "You know, Raph really missed you when…"

He nodded. "I don't deserve to be forgiven. By any of you. Especially you."

She nodded. "And it's gonna take a long time, Casey. But this is a first step…"

"Casey?!" They both whipped around to find the four of them walking up to them.

April wiped her eyes quickly.

"Hey, Mikey." Casey put a smile on his face, and walked down the steps to greet them. "Raph, Leo. Ooh, Don, what happened to you?" Casey moved over to talk to Raph and Leo, and Don looked over to April, concern on his face. She shook her head and he shrugged.

She walked down the stairs. "I'm going for a walk." She brushed past them. "Donnie, Lindy will be getting up from her nap soon." Then she walked behind the house.

Casey turned to Don. "Nap? Jeez, what were you guys up to while I was gone?"

***************************************

"And she's yours?" Casey asked Don, peering down at the baby in Leo's arms. After that afternoon's conversation, this was the last place he actually wanted to be.

"Well," Don muttered, "Not really…"

"Raised her since she was, like, a day old." Mike said proudly, standing behind the couch and making faces at Lindy, making her giggle and laugh.

"Wow." Casey muttered. "Don, you old dog, I never woulda thought…"

"Not on a molecular level…" Don continued mumbling.

"So, who's the lucky girl, Donnie-boy?"

Don visibly stiffened at this remark.

"When can I meet her?"

Leo looked at Don, then at Mike. Then he returned his gaze to Lindy, trying not to get into the conversation.

"You can't." Don said. "She's dead." Casey flinched at this, but Don continued. "And she's not really mine. She was left to me from my friend, who's dead now, and nobody ever knew she was pregnant."

Casey frowned. "Yikes."

Mike looked at Don. He was keeping his eyes trained on the ground, not looking up at any of them. Mike knew that look well. It was the look Don usually had when he was trying to turn invisible; and make sure no one knew a conversation bothered him.

Leo looked up and shared a glance with Mike.

"Hey, Donnie." Leo began. "Lindy here needs a diaper change. You mind?"

Don shook his head no, then got up, grabbing Lindy and leaving the room, shooting Leo a grateful look.

"Jeez, I can't say anything right today." Casey muttered.

Mike and Leo shared another look, and Mike sighed.

******************************

April sat in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Tears rolled down her face.

Why did it bother her so much? She'd never dreamed that seeing him again would do this to her.

Then again, you never thought you'd see him again, did you? The thought ran through her head.

A knock on the door made her jump.

"Y- Yes?" She called out, trying to make her voice sound normal.

"Hey, April." It was Don.

"I think I left the wipes in there… Um, it can wait, but…"

"No, wait a second, I'll bring them to you." She wiped her face furiously, then looked around for the wipes. Finding them, she stood up.

She opened the door to find the hallway empty. "Don?" She called.

"In here."

She followed his voice to Leo's bedroom.

"Here." She handed him the box of wipes. "Does Leo know you're doing this in here?"

He grinned, a small grin. "Well, he won't, if you don't say anything. I'll only be a second… There." He picked Lindy up, then turned to April. "OK. Thanks."

She nodded, and they began walking back to the kitchen, Don a few steps ahead of April. Suddenly he stopped, and moved back a few steps, a few feet away from the door to the living room.

April frowned, then moved up a few more steps. She opened her mouth, then closed it, when she heard a few voices coming from the room.

"That's really good of him, you know." It was Casey, April thought, then frowned more deeply.

"But, you know, not to sound like the downer here or anything…" Casey continued. "But isn't it gonna be hard when she's older and you guys're…"

"Casey!" Suddenly, April stood in front of them, her hands in fists on her hips.

"What?!" He cried, looking around. Raph and Mike were looking away, and Leo was looking down.

"You are more of an insensitive lout then I ever knew! What gives you the right…?"

"The right to what?" Casey stood, over the shock of his initial surprise at her outburst. "I can't question anything anymore? I'm not allowed to ask my friends some important questions?"

"Not if you're gonna be a jerk about it, no!" She cried, throwing her hands up in the air. She was over-reacting and she knew it. But right then, it felt pretty good to be yelling at him.

Suddenly a hand was on her shoulder.

"April." Don said softly. "Let it go."

"No, he…"

"Let it go. He has a right to question."

"That's right, I do." Casey interjected.

Raph sighed. He stood. "Casey. Casey, lets go for a walk, huh? Catch up on old times, how 'bout?"

Casey shook his head. "Sure. Sure thing. Let's go, Raph."

They left, and the rest of them were silent for a moment, no one looking at anyone else.

"I… I'm sorry guys. I shouldn't have yelled…" April put a hand onto her mouth, then ran from the room.

Silence filled the room again, before Michaelangelo stood.

"Hey, Don. I'd say it's just about bedtime for cute little girls." He gently lifted a drowsy Lindy from Don's arms. "I'll put her to bed."

Don nodded, a slight frown on his face.

Leo stood then, also. "I think I'm going to hit the showers before Raph gets back."

Don nodded, and Leo sighed. He put a hand onto his shoulder.

"Don, you OK?" He asked.

Don nodded. "You go to bed. I'll be up a bit longer." Then he left the room, walking out the front door.

Leo sighed. Great. Just what he needed.

*********************************

"I'm sorry, Raph." Casey kicked a stone in front of them. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, you shouldn't have." Raph agreed.

"Well, I mean, I know. But I just… it kinda slipped…"

Raph nodded. "It's not like none of us never thought about it." He looked away. "We just never said it out loud."

"I'm sorry."

Raph waved his hands dismissively. "So," He said as they continued walking. "You and April having problems, huh?"

Casey stiffened at that remark, and started walking faster. "You can say that." He said briskly.

"Sorry, Casey, man." Raph said, catching up to him. "I didn't think…"

"It's OK." Casey said. "Let's just head back, huh? It's freezin' out here."

He walked ahead of Raphael, and took off toward the house, not waiting for Raphael to catch up. Raph walked slower, watching Casey make his way back to the house. There was something definitely up with him…

**************

Casey stumbled into the kitchen. The heck did he know, about he and April's problems? His eyes snapped up to look at a figure at the table. Great. He groaned silently. April. Just what I needed…

She glanced up at him, glaring.

"You had no right…" She began, but he interrupted, rolling his eyes.

"Jeez, is this about before? Can you let it rest, April?"

"No I cannot let it rest." She said, her voice rising as she stood. "You said some horrible things out there, and I will not have you in my home if you continue to be such a jerk about…"

"I'm not being a jerk about it! Don't you know that whole thing applies to us, too? They're turtles, April. As much as you want to think otherwise, they are. And when we're dead and gone, they'll still be young. They'll forget about us, because they'll live for… who knows how long, and…"

"Shut up." She growled, tears burning at her eyes.

He turned away, then looked back at her. "You know, this is why we never could have worked." He moved back over to her. "Because anything I ever said was wrong, while they're freakin' saints! I could never do anything right! Not compared to them."

"That's not true." She said.

"Oh, that's not true… Bull, April." He shook his head. "Everything you did revolved around them."

"Will you stop this?" She cried, standing. "When will you get over yourself? You never should have been jealous of them. But if you want to feel sorry for yourself…"

"You were the one who made a point of putting them in front of me, April. If I was in trouble, I'd get a lecture, but if, God forbid, Leo or Donnie needed a favor, well, let's just drop every other aspect of your life for them."

She turned away from him, not wanting to hear him.

"You don't wanna hear it, fine." He grabbed the doorknob. "I'm goin' for a walk."

"Good!" She said, as the door slammed. She looked up a moment later to see Donatello standing in the doorway, mouth open.

Oh, God. How much did he hear?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A/N - Before I get flames about Casey, let me say this: I like Casey, I really do. And this is not how he usually is. But there's a lot more going on here that meets the eye, so bear with me (and him) until he gets settled and things get resolved. Which could take a long time…