Notes: Ok I'm finally starting to wrap up this fic! Yay, go me. I've tried to rewrite chapters to make it better, length and content wise…but it just doesn't want to budge out of the 'lame category'…yeah I know my writing isn't the best. So sorry, up to this point. But I must say…I did a damn good job on this chapter *grins*
Ok, now a warning: Time skips in this chapter, it's going to span over a few weeks or so. There are a few hints telling you that but they aren't as obvious as in my other writings. And oh, chap 17 is already more than half way written, I might need reviews to finish it though…lots of reviews makes me write faster…*grins evilly*
-Dimi
Ginny narrowed her eyes. "I am not a little girl." Her teeth were clenched, and her fists tightened.
It was like some unspoken agreement, an invisible contract. It was all broken, their relationship, what trust they had…and neither really knew why…they just both knew things couldn't be the same any more. As a result Ginny now had to suffer with the old Malfoy back, the one she hadn't seen in a very long time. It was like a slap in the face.
"No, I guess you aren't any more." His eyes traveled her body and she took a small step back. What was this he was pulling?
Some one from his side piped up, an older boy. "No, she isn't, nice little girls aren't prossies, now are they?" a roar of laughter erupted and made a deafening buzz in her ears.
He told…that bastard /told/ them what they'd done together. And by the boyish grin on his face he'd told it down to every last detail.
"You son of a…"
But Malfoy stopped her. "Now, now, no need for such language. And I must correct you David…" for a second she thought she had hope…and then he finished his sentence… "There was no money involved. She's just a slag."
More laughter bounced off the ceiling, making it louder than she could stand. She turned to leave but a hand caught her arm and spun her back around.
"Where are you off to love, we only want a bit."
"Yes, come on, it's not like you mind."
"Don't worry, Draco told us all how you did him up nice, can't we have a turn then?"
A hand rested on her hip, and another started groping up her side. More hands and it was like she was drowning in people. The hall was so crowded. And then there was shouting. A spell cast and hit a few Slytherins, Ginny got away as quick as she could. Which wasn't far, but right into Harry who had cast the spell.
An argument had started, and a few punches thrown. Nothing settled down until a prefect came along, though it was only Blaise so of course the Slytherins came off with no punishment at all.
But Ginny was in more of shock than anything. At what Draco had actually done to her, it wasn't as if he told them directly to molest her (at least she hoped not). He did look a bit surprised, though that could have been a glance of amusement, and didn't move to stop it.
One thing she did remember though was the thing he said as she brushed past him.
'You'd do good to stay away from me, Weasley; you'd stay away from the whole lot of us if you know what's right.'
Harry had almost punched him. And then the questions came.
'What happened?' 'I was only gone for a second what did they do?!' 'Are you ok, did they hurt you?' 'It was Malfoy who started it all wasn't it?' 'Why aren't you answering!?'
At his last question she just gave him a weary glance. "Can we get me some water?" was her only response.
Harry muttered, "Sure, Sure." Both made it to the lavatory, and he got her a small paper cup of water.
"What was that all about?"
"I….I don't know. Malfoy, with his friends…they wouldn't leave me alone. Just being a prat is all."
"He hasn't done anything in a long while…I bet he was just itching to try something."
'Poor Harry.' Virginia thought, 'If only he knew.' Draco had been right in all his words…though she wished he would have left out the public audience, and lewd advances.
She leaned her head against his chest and took a deep breath. "I don't want to go back to Ron and Mione…they'll know something's up, and I just need to rest for a moment. Can we find another compartment that I can lye down in?"
"Sure, Gin, of course. We'll just say it took longer than expected and we were tired. Ok?"
"Sure."
It wasn't until the compartment door was securely locked that she let the tears fall.
*
School days past, coming and going, but to Ginny they might as well have been one long day. Time blurred and it was like being under some kind of a trance. Though some events did breakup this time warp in her mind. Staring at Draco during meals for instance. This was not technically a high light of the day, and it wasn't as if she looked forward to these times, but she couldn't help feel her heart give a small jerk every time he drifted off into though, a lofty expression adorning his face. A few times he did happen to look up and Virginia didn't look away. Soon, Draco stopped coming to meals. It was like that, at first, if she walked down a certain hall to get to a class and he to had to do the same- he would change his course, walk twice as long just incase of a chance encounter.
He was definitely avoiding her, though that hadn't stopped him from running his mouth off to his mates. But she could live with that. While a lonely feeling settled in her chest, Draco felt like he was drowning.
Every where he went he saw her. His fists would clench if he saw any kind of red, a red sweater, red hair (not even on a Weasley), a red scarf; anything, it didn't matter. This, what ever it was inside him, hounding him to go find Her, get down on both knees and beg for forgiveness was starting to crack down on him. Mostly the feelings of adornment turned into bitter hatred for her, and in some ways not. He wasn't even sure any more; he wasn't even sure it mattered, really. And why should it. She was happy being a slut, and he could just fuck another red head until this unhealthy infatuation passed.
'And when had this all started?' Draco had wondered once when being forced to duck into an alcove trying to avoid Ginny. 'God, I can't even remember why any more.' It was like a pencil eraser smudging away memories; some things were almost a blur. It took all of his strength just to get through classes and tests, let alone reminisce where 'it all went wrong'.
And maybe that was his problem, maybe he spent too much time analyzing things; things about her and himself; memories he hadn't thought of since the few weeks ago, a time when he was happy with a girl for the first time in his life. And then came the time when anger and confusion made him see red.
This was /her/ fault. She came to him, blackmailed him into this and now he was…he was….stuck. Yes that was the word, stuck. Stuck on her, on everything about her. It got so bad Draco just wanted to find out what was pulling him toward her constantly and cut it out of him, remove it from his system so that one day he might forget; he might be able to move on and forget her. Forget every one. His father, Potter, Weasley (both of them!), Voldermort….every bloody one of them…
Yes, he wanted to blame her; blame this little girl for everything that had twisted his already fucked up life into more turmoil. His rational mind told him he shouldn't; it wasn't her fault…not really. But something else snarled in him, '/Yes/ it /is/ her fault…and if she started it, she can stop it to…!'
*
"Why are you following me?" she hissed at him.
"I wasn't! Why are you following me?!"
"Don't be ridiculous! I signed up for this classroom to practice my spells in. What are YOU doing here?" Virginia crossed her arms, and waited impatiently. 'His excuse had better be good.'
"You are such a fucking liar Weasley, /I/ reserved this room so I could do my potions assignment." Draco wore a smug look of triumph knowing that he was fully right. Well, they both were but neither knew that.
"Bull shit, my names on the list." Striding across the room Ginny took the dusty book and flipped it open to the most recent page of logs. Her name was written next to the appropriate time and so she put the book down, pointing to it and said, "See. Now can you please get out of my sight!?"
Draco did see her name, yet he also saw, as he leaned closer that his name was below hers…scheduled in for the exact same time block. These last few days fate has been taking it upon her self to cause trouble between them. Little tricks like this had been happening all through out their past few school days.
"My names above yours which mean I should get the room." Ginny informed him.
Draco, stepping back away from her, thought otherwise. "No way, go to another class room and practice."
"I /need/ this room Malfoy! Why don't you go to the dungeons, this doesn't even have the proper facilities for potions!"
"You can't even afford fairly useable potion supplies, what would you know about it?"
"Oh, quit your taunts and /grow up/ Draconis. Get some new material while you're at it." The comment was tossed over her shoulder as she turned to unpack her book bag.
He was about to retaliate when he stopped to peer over her shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"I'm getting ready to work on my charms homework, and I can only assume /you/ are leaving. Now. Preferably." She hadn't even look at him.
"I'm not going any where. Why don't you get out of here, I can't even stand the bloody sight of you. Fucking Slag." The last bit was said in an undertone but loud enough for her to hear him.
"Don't even bring that up now, Malfoy. The deal is ruined so why don't you just drop it."
"Oh, so now it's no big deal to be fucking a man twice your bloody age, not to mention he happened to be your boy friends father. How fucked up is /that/ Ginny, you tell me." He was facing her, but she wasn't facing him. Now though she turned slowly with a look of pure hatred on her face, along with slight confusion. How had he known?
"What.." for a moment she lost her voice, but continued on with her query. "What are you talking about." And he might have believed her ignorance if her voice hadn't shook. Now he had her, they could hash it all out right here and now and he could finally find out what the hell happened exactly.
"Don't play that game with me Weasley, you fucked him. You fucked him, and me, and from what I hear potter as well. Who else did you go after, huh? Oh yes, and there was Zabini too, wasn't there?"
"Shut up!" she was shaking. Was this karma, coming back to haunt her? The things she'd done…she just wanted to leave them behind her now, but he had to dredge up all this…all this /shit/ she'd tried to run from.
"Shut up now, you don't know what you're talking about…and, and I don't know who told you but they're lying."
"Some how I doubt that, you stupid chit. Blaise knew as well, he had a file and everything. Obviously you weren't untraceable in your…actions."
"No…we are not talking about this." By now she was shoving her book back into her back haphazardly. Not caring when her ink bottle fell to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. The ink ran across the floor…for a moment she thought of blood. A flashback of the stained glass shadow reaching, stretching across the floor bathing everything in red. But now, now the blood was…black.
A hand touched her arm and she jumped emitting a small scream. "Don't bloody touch me, bastard." She continued to gather her bearings while putting her bag over her shoulder, but he wouldn't let go.
"What?!" she yelled at him when he would not release her arm, let her leave and find someplace safe, despite the fact that she was pulling almost violently. "What do you want from me now?!"
He grabbed both her shoulders and shook them roughly. "Don't you see what you've done to me? This shouldn't be real….what I'm feeling shouldn't be inside me…and it is all entirely your fault." His emphasis on the last word was accompanied with another jerk of her shoulders.
"Stop it, your hurting me." She said in a small voice, flat, holding almost no emotion. It was her eyes that spoke to him then, her silent pleading reached into his chest and made his heart ache with guilt more than her words ever could.
His eyes softened for a moment, but the moment passed. "So what if I am, is this what you were talking about? How love can hurt you?" he leaned for ward, his lips brushing against her ear, his hands imprinting deep bruises on her upper arms, and his voice dropping an octave as he asked, "Are you hurting enough Ginny?"
She only let out her breath, having held it in anticipation. But she did not answer him, not directly; Virginia only applied more pressure with her hands against his chest, wanting to push him away.
"What ever you have done to me," he continued in a harsh tone, "I want you to take it back, bloody well make it STOP."
"I CAN'T!" she finally burst into tears, hitting him repeatedly. "I can't, I can't, I can't. Don't you think I've tried?! That I'm not suffering along with you?! God damn it Draco, how can you be so fucking selfish?!"
He shoved her back against the desk, not being able to handle any contact with her right now.
"This has to stop Virginia." His voice almost cracked as he said her name, and as he glanced at her his look of being wounded was heart breaking. This was killing him. He mentally pulled him self together, taking a deep breath. "This has to stop." He said again, softer this time, almost to himself. But she'd heard him.
"Alright.", was her reply. And she knew what he meant. This dancing around each other, this silent game of 'you're here so I can't be'. Both were sick of it, but neither wanted to confront the other.
He hadn't seen her tears, or heard her sobs. As he turned away the only thing he had heard was the click of the door shutting behind her.
'Good', she thought, 'This will just make things easier for me, as well as him, when he finds out.' But her mental speech was meaningless; there was no true feeling behind her words.
"Will this never ending guilt be lifted, or will I always have to suffer?" she mumbled to her self.
She was always getting in the way, toying with peoples lives, although toying wouldn't quite be the word she'd choose. She was a puppet just like every one else, only, over time, her strings had just been passed from one puppeteer to the next.
"Shhhh, just sleep." She ran her hands through his hair softly, massaging his scalp lovingly. He looked into her browns eyes, they were shining with tears, but she only said, "Close your eyes." Then the voice drifted away.
Draco sat up with a start. His breathing was heavy; there was a cold sweat on his brow.
"Damn her." He mumbled as he laid awake, waiting for dawn. There was no way he was going to get any sleep tonight.
"I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me."
Ginny looked up from the large book she was reading, it rested on her lap but was so tall she had to crane her neck to look over the dusty volume.
'The retelling of Greek myth' its title read.
After taking in his appearance, slightly disheveled and tiresome, she set down her book and answered, "I haven't been near you, literally. Avoiding you would be the right words for it, and if my short term memory isn't as bad as I think it is, then it would be correct to say we both remember that /you/ approached /me/ just now."
Her eyes slanted at him, clearly asking for an explanation for such an attitude when approaching her. Especially now, hadn't they just agreed a week ago that they would leave each other be no matter what.
In truth he wasn't as angry as he sounded, but couldn't help pass up the opportunity for his eyes to drink her in, every detail imprinted itself in his mind. It was true, she had been avoiding him, in fact she'd done such an excellent job of 'keeping the fuck away from him' he was almost sad that he'd said it…../almost/.
Leaning forward, one hand on each of the two arm rests, he went on to explain.
"I want you out of my head, witch. Stay away from me, me and my dreams." Her eyes widened slightly. "Thought I wouldn't notice? Well, you've had your sick fun with what I had to tell you…but that's over. Just let it be, you stupid little bitch."
His words were harsh, but a new anger was rising with in him. He hadn't had night mare for so long it took him until last night to notice their absence. She must have been in his mind all along, and that fact alone sent fire through him.
His face was level with hers, and the look in her eyes he knew well, it was one of calculation, of weighing in her head exactly what was going to come out of her mouth.
But he wasn't prepared for what she said next.
A conniving smile reached her lips a smirk that had a certain 'I Win' look to it, a mocking tone "Sure Malfoy," her tone was casual, "what ever you want. You know, I always thought you got off on reliving those little fuck fests you had with your father. I bet it gets you all hard just thinking about it."
It took Ginny a second to realize that he'd actually backhanded her. Just the thought of him following through with such and act shocked her. It also took another moment to find that he was pressing her into the chair, and that a hand was closing around her throat. He'd knocked the book out of her lap and leaned in more intensely.
"You damn well know…..how could you…….fucking bitch," was all he could come up with. "Do you want to know what it feels like to go through what I've gone through, Weasley?" his hand closed tighter around her neck and her doe eyes became wide. The thoughts, 'Maybe that wasn't the best response.' went through her head a few times But then no thoughts came to her, she was scared; positively terrified, Ginny had never seen him like this, so, out of control.
'The innocence behind them was fake', he told himself. 'Don't truly look at her, and this will be much easier.'
"Would my point be made much clearer if I were to rape you? Beat you? /Torture/ you? I've only showed you the basics Virginia, how would you like to be tied up and fucked five ways from Sunday?"
Virginia knew she'd gone too far, even though she thought over what she was going to say beforehand she still was spiteful as a child because of his behavior earlier. But as he looked down at her, that wild look in his eyes made her stomach turn.
Draco's mind was racing. Her words….her words were like pieces of glass slashing his skin. It caused pain unimaginable.
And what could he do to put things back into balance?
But hurt some one else just as badly, if not worse, of course.
.
Ok, now a warning: Time skips in this chapter, it's going to span over a few weeks or so. There are a few hints telling you that but they aren't as obvious as in my other writings. And oh, chap 17 is already more than half way written, I might need reviews to finish it though…lots of reviews makes me write faster…*grins evilly*
-Dimi
Ginny narrowed her eyes. "I am not a little girl." Her teeth were clenched, and her fists tightened.
It was like some unspoken agreement, an invisible contract. It was all broken, their relationship, what trust they had…and neither really knew why…they just both knew things couldn't be the same any more. As a result Ginny now had to suffer with the old Malfoy back, the one she hadn't seen in a very long time. It was like a slap in the face.
"No, I guess you aren't any more." His eyes traveled her body and she took a small step back. What was this he was pulling?
Some one from his side piped up, an older boy. "No, she isn't, nice little girls aren't prossies, now are they?" a roar of laughter erupted and made a deafening buzz in her ears.
He told…that bastard /told/ them what they'd done together. And by the boyish grin on his face he'd told it down to every last detail.
"You son of a…"
But Malfoy stopped her. "Now, now, no need for such language. And I must correct you David…" for a second she thought she had hope…and then he finished his sentence… "There was no money involved. She's just a slag."
More laughter bounced off the ceiling, making it louder than she could stand. She turned to leave but a hand caught her arm and spun her back around.
"Where are you off to love, we only want a bit."
"Yes, come on, it's not like you mind."
"Don't worry, Draco told us all how you did him up nice, can't we have a turn then?"
A hand rested on her hip, and another started groping up her side. More hands and it was like she was drowning in people. The hall was so crowded. And then there was shouting. A spell cast and hit a few Slytherins, Ginny got away as quick as she could. Which wasn't far, but right into Harry who had cast the spell.
An argument had started, and a few punches thrown. Nothing settled down until a prefect came along, though it was only Blaise so of course the Slytherins came off with no punishment at all.
But Ginny was in more of shock than anything. At what Draco had actually done to her, it wasn't as if he told them directly to molest her (at least she hoped not). He did look a bit surprised, though that could have been a glance of amusement, and didn't move to stop it.
One thing she did remember though was the thing he said as she brushed past him.
'You'd do good to stay away from me, Weasley; you'd stay away from the whole lot of us if you know what's right.'
Harry had almost punched him. And then the questions came.
'What happened?' 'I was only gone for a second what did they do?!' 'Are you ok, did they hurt you?' 'It was Malfoy who started it all wasn't it?' 'Why aren't you answering!?'
At his last question she just gave him a weary glance. "Can we get me some water?" was her only response.
Harry muttered, "Sure, Sure." Both made it to the lavatory, and he got her a small paper cup of water.
"What was that all about?"
"I….I don't know. Malfoy, with his friends…they wouldn't leave me alone. Just being a prat is all."
"He hasn't done anything in a long while…I bet he was just itching to try something."
'Poor Harry.' Virginia thought, 'If only he knew.' Draco had been right in all his words…though she wished he would have left out the public audience, and lewd advances.
She leaned her head against his chest and took a deep breath. "I don't want to go back to Ron and Mione…they'll know something's up, and I just need to rest for a moment. Can we find another compartment that I can lye down in?"
"Sure, Gin, of course. We'll just say it took longer than expected and we were tired. Ok?"
"Sure."
It wasn't until the compartment door was securely locked that she let the tears fall.
*
School days past, coming and going, but to Ginny they might as well have been one long day. Time blurred and it was like being under some kind of a trance. Though some events did breakup this time warp in her mind. Staring at Draco during meals for instance. This was not technically a high light of the day, and it wasn't as if she looked forward to these times, but she couldn't help feel her heart give a small jerk every time he drifted off into though, a lofty expression adorning his face. A few times he did happen to look up and Virginia didn't look away. Soon, Draco stopped coming to meals. It was like that, at first, if she walked down a certain hall to get to a class and he to had to do the same- he would change his course, walk twice as long just incase of a chance encounter.
He was definitely avoiding her, though that hadn't stopped him from running his mouth off to his mates. But she could live with that. While a lonely feeling settled in her chest, Draco felt like he was drowning.
Every where he went he saw her. His fists would clench if he saw any kind of red, a red sweater, red hair (not even on a Weasley), a red scarf; anything, it didn't matter. This, what ever it was inside him, hounding him to go find Her, get down on both knees and beg for forgiveness was starting to crack down on him. Mostly the feelings of adornment turned into bitter hatred for her, and in some ways not. He wasn't even sure any more; he wasn't even sure it mattered, really. And why should it. She was happy being a slut, and he could just fuck another red head until this unhealthy infatuation passed.
'And when had this all started?' Draco had wondered once when being forced to duck into an alcove trying to avoid Ginny. 'God, I can't even remember why any more.' It was like a pencil eraser smudging away memories; some things were almost a blur. It took all of his strength just to get through classes and tests, let alone reminisce where 'it all went wrong'.
And maybe that was his problem, maybe he spent too much time analyzing things; things about her and himself; memories he hadn't thought of since the few weeks ago, a time when he was happy with a girl for the first time in his life. And then came the time when anger and confusion made him see red.
This was /her/ fault. She came to him, blackmailed him into this and now he was…he was….stuck. Yes that was the word, stuck. Stuck on her, on everything about her. It got so bad Draco just wanted to find out what was pulling him toward her constantly and cut it out of him, remove it from his system so that one day he might forget; he might be able to move on and forget her. Forget every one. His father, Potter, Weasley (both of them!), Voldermort….every bloody one of them…
Yes, he wanted to blame her; blame this little girl for everything that had twisted his already fucked up life into more turmoil. His rational mind told him he shouldn't; it wasn't her fault…not really. But something else snarled in him, '/Yes/ it /is/ her fault…and if she started it, she can stop it to…!'
*
"Why are you following me?" she hissed at him.
"I wasn't! Why are you following me?!"
"Don't be ridiculous! I signed up for this classroom to practice my spells in. What are YOU doing here?" Virginia crossed her arms, and waited impatiently. 'His excuse had better be good.'
"You are such a fucking liar Weasley, /I/ reserved this room so I could do my potions assignment." Draco wore a smug look of triumph knowing that he was fully right. Well, they both were but neither knew that.
"Bull shit, my names on the list." Striding across the room Ginny took the dusty book and flipped it open to the most recent page of logs. Her name was written next to the appropriate time and so she put the book down, pointing to it and said, "See. Now can you please get out of my sight!?"
Draco did see her name, yet he also saw, as he leaned closer that his name was below hers…scheduled in for the exact same time block. These last few days fate has been taking it upon her self to cause trouble between them. Little tricks like this had been happening all through out their past few school days.
"My names above yours which mean I should get the room." Ginny informed him.
Draco, stepping back away from her, thought otherwise. "No way, go to another class room and practice."
"I /need/ this room Malfoy! Why don't you go to the dungeons, this doesn't even have the proper facilities for potions!"
"You can't even afford fairly useable potion supplies, what would you know about it?"
"Oh, quit your taunts and /grow up/ Draconis. Get some new material while you're at it." The comment was tossed over her shoulder as she turned to unpack her book bag.
He was about to retaliate when he stopped to peer over her shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"I'm getting ready to work on my charms homework, and I can only assume /you/ are leaving. Now. Preferably." She hadn't even look at him.
"I'm not going any where. Why don't you get out of here, I can't even stand the bloody sight of you. Fucking Slag." The last bit was said in an undertone but loud enough for her to hear him.
"Don't even bring that up now, Malfoy. The deal is ruined so why don't you just drop it."
"Oh, so now it's no big deal to be fucking a man twice your bloody age, not to mention he happened to be your boy friends father. How fucked up is /that/ Ginny, you tell me." He was facing her, but she wasn't facing him. Now though she turned slowly with a look of pure hatred on her face, along with slight confusion. How had he known?
"What.." for a moment she lost her voice, but continued on with her query. "What are you talking about." And he might have believed her ignorance if her voice hadn't shook. Now he had her, they could hash it all out right here and now and he could finally find out what the hell happened exactly.
"Don't play that game with me Weasley, you fucked him. You fucked him, and me, and from what I hear potter as well. Who else did you go after, huh? Oh yes, and there was Zabini too, wasn't there?"
"Shut up!" she was shaking. Was this karma, coming back to haunt her? The things she'd done…she just wanted to leave them behind her now, but he had to dredge up all this…all this /shit/ she'd tried to run from.
"Shut up now, you don't know what you're talking about…and, and I don't know who told you but they're lying."
"Some how I doubt that, you stupid chit. Blaise knew as well, he had a file and everything. Obviously you weren't untraceable in your…actions."
"No…we are not talking about this." By now she was shoving her book back into her back haphazardly. Not caring when her ink bottle fell to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. The ink ran across the floor…for a moment she thought of blood. A flashback of the stained glass shadow reaching, stretching across the floor bathing everything in red. But now, now the blood was…black.
A hand touched her arm and she jumped emitting a small scream. "Don't bloody touch me, bastard." She continued to gather her bearings while putting her bag over her shoulder, but he wouldn't let go.
"What?!" she yelled at him when he would not release her arm, let her leave and find someplace safe, despite the fact that she was pulling almost violently. "What do you want from me now?!"
He grabbed both her shoulders and shook them roughly. "Don't you see what you've done to me? This shouldn't be real….what I'm feeling shouldn't be inside me…and it is all entirely your fault." His emphasis on the last word was accompanied with another jerk of her shoulders.
"Stop it, your hurting me." She said in a small voice, flat, holding almost no emotion. It was her eyes that spoke to him then, her silent pleading reached into his chest and made his heart ache with guilt more than her words ever could.
His eyes softened for a moment, but the moment passed. "So what if I am, is this what you were talking about? How love can hurt you?" he leaned for ward, his lips brushing against her ear, his hands imprinting deep bruises on her upper arms, and his voice dropping an octave as he asked, "Are you hurting enough Ginny?"
She only let out her breath, having held it in anticipation. But she did not answer him, not directly; Virginia only applied more pressure with her hands against his chest, wanting to push him away.
"What ever you have done to me," he continued in a harsh tone, "I want you to take it back, bloody well make it STOP."
"I CAN'T!" she finally burst into tears, hitting him repeatedly. "I can't, I can't, I can't. Don't you think I've tried?! That I'm not suffering along with you?! God damn it Draco, how can you be so fucking selfish?!"
He shoved her back against the desk, not being able to handle any contact with her right now.
"This has to stop Virginia." His voice almost cracked as he said her name, and as he glanced at her his look of being wounded was heart breaking. This was killing him. He mentally pulled him self together, taking a deep breath. "This has to stop." He said again, softer this time, almost to himself. But she'd heard him.
"Alright.", was her reply. And she knew what he meant. This dancing around each other, this silent game of 'you're here so I can't be'. Both were sick of it, but neither wanted to confront the other.
He hadn't seen her tears, or heard her sobs. As he turned away the only thing he had heard was the click of the door shutting behind her.
'Good', she thought, 'This will just make things easier for me, as well as him, when he finds out.' But her mental speech was meaningless; there was no true feeling behind her words.
"Will this never ending guilt be lifted, or will I always have to suffer?" she mumbled to her self.
She was always getting in the way, toying with peoples lives, although toying wouldn't quite be the word she'd choose. She was a puppet just like every one else, only, over time, her strings had just been passed from one puppeteer to the next.
"Shhhh, just sleep." She ran her hands through his hair softly, massaging his scalp lovingly. He looked into her browns eyes, they were shining with tears, but she only said, "Close your eyes." Then the voice drifted away.
Draco sat up with a start. His breathing was heavy; there was a cold sweat on his brow.
"Damn her." He mumbled as he laid awake, waiting for dawn. There was no way he was going to get any sleep tonight.
"I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me."
Ginny looked up from the large book she was reading, it rested on her lap but was so tall she had to crane her neck to look over the dusty volume.
'The retelling of Greek myth' its title read.
After taking in his appearance, slightly disheveled and tiresome, she set down her book and answered, "I haven't been near you, literally. Avoiding you would be the right words for it, and if my short term memory isn't as bad as I think it is, then it would be correct to say we both remember that /you/ approached /me/ just now."
Her eyes slanted at him, clearly asking for an explanation for such an attitude when approaching her. Especially now, hadn't they just agreed a week ago that they would leave each other be no matter what.
In truth he wasn't as angry as he sounded, but couldn't help pass up the opportunity for his eyes to drink her in, every detail imprinted itself in his mind. It was true, she had been avoiding him, in fact she'd done such an excellent job of 'keeping the fuck away from him' he was almost sad that he'd said it…../almost/.
Leaning forward, one hand on each of the two arm rests, he went on to explain.
"I want you out of my head, witch. Stay away from me, me and my dreams." Her eyes widened slightly. "Thought I wouldn't notice? Well, you've had your sick fun with what I had to tell you…but that's over. Just let it be, you stupid little bitch."
His words were harsh, but a new anger was rising with in him. He hadn't had night mare for so long it took him until last night to notice their absence. She must have been in his mind all along, and that fact alone sent fire through him.
His face was level with hers, and the look in her eyes he knew well, it was one of calculation, of weighing in her head exactly what was going to come out of her mouth.
But he wasn't prepared for what she said next.
A conniving smile reached her lips a smirk that had a certain 'I Win' look to it, a mocking tone "Sure Malfoy," her tone was casual, "what ever you want. You know, I always thought you got off on reliving those little fuck fests you had with your father. I bet it gets you all hard just thinking about it."
It took Ginny a second to realize that he'd actually backhanded her. Just the thought of him following through with such and act shocked her. It also took another moment to find that he was pressing her into the chair, and that a hand was closing around her throat. He'd knocked the book out of her lap and leaned in more intensely.
"You damn well know…..how could you…….fucking bitch," was all he could come up with. "Do you want to know what it feels like to go through what I've gone through, Weasley?" his hand closed tighter around her neck and her doe eyes became wide. The thoughts, 'Maybe that wasn't the best response.' went through her head a few times But then no thoughts came to her, she was scared; positively terrified, Ginny had never seen him like this, so, out of control.
'The innocence behind them was fake', he told himself. 'Don't truly look at her, and this will be much easier.'
"Would my point be made much clearer if I were to rape you? Beat you? /Torture/ you? I've only showed you the basics Virginia, how would you like to be tied up and fucked five ways from Sunday?"
Virginia knew she'd gone too far, even though she thought over what she was going to say beforehand she still was spiteful as a child because of his behavior earlier. But as he looked down at her, that wild look in his eyes made her stomach turn.
Draco's mind was racing. Her words….her words were like pieces of glass slashing his skin. It caused pain unimaginable.
And what could he do to put things back into balance?
But hurt some one else just as badly, if not worse, of course.
.