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Not Myself by Saerry Snape

Chapter 157 – Of Arrivals and General Dissonance

"Albus, you cannot be serious!"

Harry blinked and stopped dead in the middle of the corridor. He pulled his invisibility cloak tighter about himself and crept forward slowly. It was just after midnight and he, being unable to sleep, had decided to roam the empty hallways of the castle.

Standing in the entrance hall were his father and Dumbledore – as though they were waiting there for someone.

"Severus," said Dumbledore, "he is the best that we can get. And you know Rebecca has volunteered to return to her Auror duties."

"Why not Lupin? Damnit, old man, he's a far cry safer!"

"For the students or for you?"

"Both!" shouted Severus.

Harry frowned and wondered who they were talking about. There weren't many people who could bring his father to such a distracted state and whoever they were talking about had definitely done that.

As though some higher power had sensed his wondering thoughts, the main doors flew open the moment he'd thought them. A tall figure wrapped in a dark traveling cloak entered, striding purposefully forward. Only a few feet away from Dumbledore and Severus, pale hands came up to throw back the deep hood. A lean, handsome face framed by long white-blonde hair was revealed – a face that reminded Harry slightly of Draco.

Black eyes bored deep into the black one's that matched them shade for shade and the blonde man smirked.

"Well, well," he said. "Hello, big brother."

What?! thought Harry.

"Etienne," said Severus. One of his hands shook nervously and he clenched it tight. "Safely returned from France, I see."

"No thanks to you," snarled Etienne. He then looked at Dumbledore and said, "Sorry I'm late, headmaster. Floo traffic was blocked and I had to fly through a snowstorm to get to the train station."

"Quite alright, I assure you," said Dumbledore cheerily. "If you'll come this way I'll show you the rooms where you'll be lodging."

"Thank you very much, sir."

Severus watched them as they walked off then he turned, took five long steps, and ripped the invisibility cloak off of his son. Harry blinked and gaped at him.

"You heard, I suppose?"

"Yes," replied Harry. "Sorry…"

Severus held up a hand to still any apology.

"It had to come up at some point in time."

"Oh. Uh…who is he?"

"My half-brother, the son of my father's mistress. He'll be the new Defense professor in Rebecca's place."

Severus frowned at the still open doors and moved to close them. When he had barred them shut, he turned back towards Harry.

"So," said the teen, "she left?"

"Back to the Auror's. Said she felt it was her 'duty.'"

"Oh. He doesn't like you, does he?"

"Etienne?"

"Yeah."

"So it would seem. The years do drive people apart. Now come. I want to know everything that happened over the summer."

Harry nodded and started to follow Severus towards the dungeons. He barely caught the man's last sentence.

"And I wish to know what you said to Niamh last year."

"You don't approve."

"Of our queenly cousin teaching you to fight? No. Of her allowing you to bring several scores of Elven weaponry back to this plane? Twice no. Of you telling Niamh that it is too dangerous for the two of you to be together? Thrice no!"

"I won't put her in danger," growled Harry, glaring. Why couldn't anyone understand?

Severus gave him a somber look and sighed.

"I understand, I do. I tried my best to keep your mother from finding out about my Mark. As you know, it didn't work."

"Your saying that my trying to keep Ni out of trouble won't help. That she'll get into it anyway."

"No," said Severus. "I am not saying that. I am saying that trouble will come to her no matter what. She lives in this very school, in your own House, and is well known as being one of your best friends."

Harry frowned darkly. His father was throwing Jardin's words back at him.

"I won't let her get hurt."

Severus sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Harry…it is never as simple as that."

"I'll make it simple."

"Don't be as stubborn as your mother!"

Harry scowled and snapped, "I'll be as stubborn as I want to be!"

"Not in this," begged Severus. "Please, Harry, don't be stubborn in this. Don't make the same mistake I did. I kept secrets from your mother and it pushed her away from me. I don't want you to make that same mistake with Niamh."

"I'm not."

"You sure as Hell are! Damnit, Harry, are you that blind?"

"I won't put her in danger," repeated Harry, crossing his arms over his chest and giving his father a defiant look.

Severus glared at him for a moment then sighed in defeat.

"Very well," he said. "Very well! Do as you wish! Push Niamh and all of your friends away! Be as lonely and miserable as I was once. Go on! Be me. Do exactly as every Snape son as done for hundreds of years. Follow in your father's footsteps! Follow and be miserable!"

Harry paled slightly but he stood his ground, defiance and all. But Severus' words had struck home. He knew what path his father had been forced to follow – the path to the Death Eater's and the misery that followed it.

He would never be taken to Voldemort as his father had…but following him into the miserable existence he'd had after Lily had left him. That he could do.

But did he want to?

No.

He didn't want that life. That misery of living so alone for so many years.

But if it meant Niamh's life and the lives of his friends…

If it meant that, he'd live that life of misery for all eternity.

Author's Note

I apologize for the shortness. My brain died. And the muses are working on the next page for my webcomic. Neh.

Oh yeah, and if you don't know Etienne, go read Brother Mine.