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Here's the quick scoop- everybody's upset. I'm fine. But when have I felt angry because of the right reason? Anyway, it's all around the school, the whole Craig thing. I don't care. I can't care.
All the pressure and the whole "I feel sooo bad for you, darling!" has moved to Ashley, though, which is a good thing. Craig's the villain, not me. I'll try and get myself back in. Or not hated.
Why me? Why should I have to cry and beg and pray at their feet to get into their circle? What am I doing? Why? It's not fair. I put themn up on a pedestal and admire them and their easy interaction, getting along and caring and loving and being friends. You have no faith. I have no faith. Trying for everything to come back to normal.
I wish it had never happened. I wish I was still back at Terri's house, sitting with her and her dad eating hamburgers and laughing and talking, drinking warm cokes and telling jokes and stories and playing jazz music as loud as the speakers would allow. That's nice. That's fun. Going to the basketball game, watching Paige and Hazel cheer on Jimmy and sitting beside Terri.
Go on, take everything I've ever loved away from me, Jimmy, cause I'm not going to be God. I'm not going to be married and I'm not going to live in a nice house with a dog and a cat. Forget everything, you'll screw it up eventually. She'll never love you. He'll never feel respect for you. Sometimes you like a good thing and then you take more. You mess up. You can't juggle things. Everybody will know about everything crappy you've ever done.
Just forget about it, nobody cares. I can't.