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Not Myself by Saerry Snape

Chapter 162 – Of Darcorn's, Fears, and Old Wounds

"Today," said Professor Daladier as he leaned back against his desk, "we are going to pay a visit to the forest."

"But its so nasty," whined Pansy.

Niamh rolled her eyes and Harry distinctly heard Draco mutter from behind him, "Stupid bint."

"Because, Miss Parkinson, I have heard a rumor that there is a Darcorn within this very forest. As you will be able to see the other Dark creatures we will be studying, I want you to be able to see this one as well."

Daladier looked around the room and continued, "Everyone leave their bags here and follow me. Quickly, now, quickly!"

Slowly the class rose to their feet and followed him out. Harry found himself right behind his half-uncle and fell into step with the man, trying not to pass him.

And trying not to feel ashamed that he was a few inches taller than him.

"Oh hell," hissed a voice from his left shoulder.

Harry turned his head and saw Draco there, looking rather pale and pasty. "You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"No," replied Draco. "Do you really know how much I'm afraid of Darcorn's?"

"Scared shitless?"

"Worse."

"Hell. Well, I'll assure you, Drake, the Darcorn in the forest won't attempt to skewer you or run you down or anything. So you're in no danger."

"Ah, so you know the forest Darcorn, do you, Mister Potter?"

Harry looked up into Daladier's dark eyes and replied, "We're acquainted."

"Really," said Daladier in a disbelieving sort of voice. "Perhaps you could be our first guinea pig, then."

Y'know, I've never liked that term, commented Niamh.

Harry chuckled and replied, Same here.

"I'd love to, professor," said Harry with a wry grin.

Oh what a treat it would be to come out of the forest on the Darcorn's back…

Once they reached the forest, Daladier took them in a few feet and instructed them to take seats all around. He then turned to Harry and asked, "Do you know how to bring him to us?"

"Sure," said Harry. He turned and walked a little further into the forest before he focused on a mental image of the black unicorn, hoping it would be enough to get him to come.

Seconds later, the huge beast came barreling up out of nowhere, blowing smoke as he came to a grinding halt only a foot in front of Harry.

"Hey there you," said Harry genially as the dark head was thrust at his chest. He stroked the velvety nose then moved on to rub the graceful neck. "And what have you been doing, my friend? Roaming the forest?"

The Darcorn tossed his head and Harry laughed.

"Alright. You think you can do me a favor?"

The Darcorn snorted and stomped a plate-sized hoof. He nodded his head a few times, light glinting off his crooked horn.

"Great," said Harry. "Lemme get on and we'll go scare the bejeezus out of my Housemates."

The Darcorn nickered softly and nipped at Harry's long braid as the young man moved to pull himself up onto its back. He batted at its shoulder and hissed, "Stop that, silly."

A few seconds later, he was up on the broad back and with a nudge of his heels, they were moving forward. Harry circled around Daladier and his classmates before he leaned forward and whispered something in Elven to the Darcorn.

They entered the clearing by leaping over the heads of Pansy and Millicent, who shrieked and dove to the ground as the Darcorn sailed overhead. Harry laughed at their shrill cries and continued to laugh as the Darcorn landed gracefully and turned about, shaking his head.

He turned to look at Daladier, who was staring at him in shock. The man obviously hadn't thought that Harry was serious when he said he was acquainted with the Darcorn.

Harry chuckled and looked around for Draco, not noticing when something like recognition flashed in Daladier's dark eyes.

"Are you sure he's safe?" asked Amanda from where she stood near Niamh.

"Perfectly!" answered Harry cheerfully. "Gentle as a kitten."

Draco winced and shrunk back a bit more against a tree.

"Bad analogy, Harry."

"Sorry, Drake. Okay, gentle as the gentlest thing you can think of. How's that?"

"Still doesn't convince me," said Draco, shrinking further back against his tree.

Harry shook his head and said, "C'mon, Drake! He's harmless!"

"Still don't believe it!"

"Oh for Slytherin's sake," breathed Niamh. She glared at everyone leaning back from the black unicorn in fear then strode forward, her head held high. The Darcorn turned his head towards her and nickered before stretching out his neck and sniffing at her shirt. He snorted and sniffed at her hair before he tossed his head. Taking a step forward, he butted his head against her chest, flicking his ears so they tickled her cheeks.

Niamh giggled and glanced up at Harry before she reached out and stroked his velvety ears.

"There," she said, turning her head to glare at her classmates. "Harmless."

Mika grinned and stepped forward next, patting one of the muscular hindquarters. Since he'd heard about the Darcorn's part in his rescue, he'd wanted to see the creature. And the short look he'd gotten during Amadeus' rescue hadn't been enough for him.

Harry grinned then threw his leg over and slid down from the broad back. He strode over to the tree Draco had planted himself against and grabbed the blonde underneath the arms, hauling him onto his feet.

"Let go! Harry!"

"Calm down!" snapped Harry, shaking him a little. "He's not going to hurt you."

"I don't know that!" exclaimed Draco.

Harry rolled his eyes and shoved the blonde forward.

Right into the Darcorn's chest.

Draco cried out in surprise and staggered back, tripping over his own feet so he fell onto the ground. The Darcorn lowered its head and sniffed at him, dark eyes curious. As Draco started to inch backwards, the Darcorn butted him with its head, nipping playfully at one of the clasps on his robes.

The blonde sat still for a moment before he slowly reached up and placed on hand on the graceful neck. When the Darcorn continued to nibble on his clasp and didn't attempt to kill him, he let out a breath he'd been holding.

Turning to look at a smirking Harry, he gasped, "You were right."

"I know," said Harry as his smirk widened.

Niamh laughed at the two of them as Daladier began to lecture on the Darcorn's physical features.

Harry was sneaking down to his father's room later that night and had just slipped into the secret passage in the classroom when he heard voices shouting. Wondering who would be having a shouting match with his father, he crept silently to the end of the passage and listened.

"Don't deny the truth, Severus!"

"I deny nothing, damn you! How dare you imply that I have ever denied telling you anything?"

"You never told me about him."

"We haven't spoken in twenty-three years! And if we had, you'd have killed me!"

"You killed my mother!"

"I would never have harmed a hair on Marie's head! Our bastard of a father killed her and you know it, Eti! You just don't want to admit to yourself that you went back on our oath!"

"Damn you!"

Harry leaned back from the wall, blinking a few times in confusion.

Was his father arguing with Daladier?

"Damn me?" snarled Severus, rage evident in his voice. "Damn our father is more like it! What about our oath, Eti? We swore we'd never allow him to turn us against each other!"

"You turned to the Death Eater's, Severus!" shouted Daladier. "You went back on our oath long before I did!"

"That bastard forced the Mark upon me! Hell, Eti, you should know me better than that. I'd never have gone to Voldemort on my own. I swear to you. Please, for the love we once held for each other, believe me, brother."

There was a small pause before Daladier said softly, "I don't know what to believe anymore, Sev."

"Eti…"

"I presume his mother is Lily Potter?"

There was a tense pause then Severus growled, "She'd have been Lily Snape if not for our bastard of a father interfering."

"So…does he know?"

"Of course he knows! Do you think I would keep something like that from him? I did learn some things from our father."

"Indeed," sneered Daladier.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Bull! Where are you going?"

"Back to my room. This conversation is over."

"Eti – Etienne!"

Harry scrambled up from where he had sat down in the corridor as the bookshelf opened up into the room. Daladier stood there, blonde hair drawn sharply back from his face. That look accented his narrow face and showed off the angular cheekbones that seemed to be a trait of the Snape blood.

"Hello," said Harry in a slightly dark tone as Daladier's black eyes narrowed at the sight of him.

"So," he said after a moment, "you're my nephew."

"In the flesh. Nice to meet you."

Daladier smiled grimly and said, "If only I could say the same." He turned back towards Severus, who was standing by the fireplace, a glass of brandy clenched in one hand. "We'll finish this conversation another time – brother."

"No!" snapped Severus, eyes narrowing. "We will finish it now."

"I'm tired."

"So am I but we will finish this conversation now, Eti!"

"Another time – perhaps."

"Etienne…" began Severus in a dangerous voice.

Etienne started to turn, anger in his eyes, but Harry said, "Don't worry about it, Da. I'm sure Professor Daladier will be more than happy to continue your discussion tomorrow night."

Two sets of dark eyes narrowed on him and all was still for a moment.

"Very well," said Etienne. "Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night," agreed Severus.

The two nodded at each other then Etienne moved past Harry and vanished down the corridor. Harry moved on into the room and heard the brandy glass smash into the fireplace as he closed the bookcase over the passage.

"That was a waste," he commented as he turned around.

"You don't even know what brandy tastes like."

"Actually," said Harry with a small grin, "I do. Amadeus keeps a good stash of it in."

"Amadeus allowed you to drink alcohol? You're barely eighteen."

"Time difference, Da," said Harry as he went to the liquor cabinet and poured something into two glasses.

Severus nodded, suddenly remembering.

"Ah, yes. You're of age now because of that, aren't you?"

"Twenty-one. It freaked Draco out. And Ni."

"It disturbs me as well," said Severus as he accepted the glass his son handed him before he sat down. "What did you pour?"

"Rum," replied Harry with a wry grin.

"Good boy." Severus took a sip then looked at the crackling fire for a long moment before he asked, "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"I came in when you two started talking about me."

"You heard our entire conversation?"

"…yes."

"Did Sheen teach you eavesdropping as well?"

"Da!"

"I'm sorry. Its simply not polite to eavesdrop on others conversations."

"Its habit," said Harry with a helpless shrug. "You can take the boy off the streets but you can't take the streets out of the boy."

"How true," said Severus softly. He drained his glass and sighed heavily, looking at his son through lidded eyes.

"I have a fear," he said slowly, "I have a fear that you will face Voldemort this year."

"I sense an 'and.' "

"And you won't be ready. That you'll die. And I shall be alone again."

Harry frowned and reached across the space between them to grasp his father's hand.

"I'm not going to go anywhere, Da," he said softly. "I swear."

"Don't swear," mumbled Severus. He turned pained eyes on Harry as he continued, "Eti swore he'd never allow our father to break us apart. My mother swore she'd never allow my father to give me to Voldemort. Your mother swore she'd never leave me, no matter what. Look at what has happened to all that has been sworn to me."

"Da…"

"Leave me."

Harry frowned and pulled back, feeling hurt. As he rose to leave, an agile hand grabbed his wrist, bringing his gaze downward to meet his father's eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, Harry," said Severus slowly. "It's just having the brother I loved thrust back into my life so suddenly…it's jangled my nerves. I'll be fine when all of this is over."

Harry started to ask what he meant by that last statement but decided against it. He just smiled and nodded to show that he hadn't taken offense.

Severus tried his best to return the smile then watched as his son went out the way he'd come. He then sank back into his chair and stared at the crackling fire, worrying over things that had already happened and things that had not yet happened.

Author's Notes

Greetings again from the mountains! 'Tis Thursday now as I write this and I've got two chapters done. Now I'm really proud of myself.

Next chapter: some Niamh, maybe some Draco…next DADA lesson. Guess what Dark creature it is. Go on, guess! I dare ya!