-
three years later… --
Lily lay awake in bed, long past midnight. James had been gone with Sirius on "Order Business." He'd been gone for two weeks with no word. She knew communication was forbidden in case it was intercepted, but she missed him so badly it made her feel sick. This was so stupid-she was in the Order of the Phoenix as well, why couldn't she have gone? They'd gotten married a week before being asked by Dumbledore to join the Order. He had apologized profusely for bothering them on their honeymoon, but they were desperately needed.
So the honeymoon was cut short, and James and Lily had been swamped with so much work for the Order that they'd barely even seen each other in their first year of marriage. Lupin, Peter, and Sirius had joined along with them, but even with everyone's combined efforts-the powers and number of followers of Voldemort were growing alarmingly quickly.
Lily got up, restlessly pacing the room. So many people fighting for Dumbledore were dying every week…she prayed silently that James and Sirius would not join the victim lists that kept growing longer and longer.
Her heart constricted with worry and loneliness as she stared out the window at the starlit night sky. Suddenly, she heard a stair creak outside their bedroom. Lily froze, instantly grabbing her wand off the night table.
The door opened slowly, and every muscle in her body tensed, waiting.
James walked through the door, and stopped when he saw her.
She relaxed immediately, setting the wand back down on the bedside table.
"Sorry, darling. I thought you'd be asleep; I didn't want to wake you. I didn't mean to scare you." James' said softly.
"Thank God you're all right!" She breathed, racing over to him and throwing her arms around him.
Feeling him in her arms flooded her with relief, she kissed him fiercely.
"Good to see you too, love." James smiled, looking a little surprised at such a reception.
"Sirius is all right, too?" She asked breathlessly, unable to stop touching him, tracing the lines of his face with her hands.
He kissed her forehead.
"We're both perfectly fine. Nary a scratch." He smiled.
She laid her head on his shoulder, not saying anything, just breathing him in.
"I missed you so much." James whispered in her ear, kissing her again.
"I can't stand you being gone like this." Lily said, closing her eyes against the sting of tears.
"I know. I hate it too. But we're helping the Order, and that's more important than anything right now."
"Even our marriage?"
"Lily, please don't…you know that you matter more to me than anything in the world…but the whole reason we're fighting so hard, the whole reason we're sacrificing everything is so that…well, I wouldn't want to raise our children in the world we live in now, would you?"
"I know. You're right. I'm sorry…I'm just…it's just really hard sometimes."
"Doing the right thing never seems to be easy." James said sadly.
"No kidding."
"But, hey-I'm home now."
"Yes, you are…" She trailed off, kissing him.
"Hey…you know if we do want kids…we better not waste anytime…who knows where they'll ship us off to next…" He mumbled against her mouth.
"Why, James Potter, whatever are you suggesting?" She smiled, starting to unbutton his shirt.
"Perhaps I'm suggesting that I haven't seen my wife in two weeks, and she's never looked more beautiful, and I've never wanted her quite as much as I do right now-"
Lily kissed him, a slow, deep kiss that still made him feel lightheaded, even after a year of marriage.
"James?"
"Yes?" He said, slightly breathlessly.
"You talk too much. You've always talked too much." She slipped her camisole off.
"Shutting up." He said obediently, marveling at how he'd ever gotten such a beautiful woman to marry him.
They claimed each other's lips again with a hungry passion, letting themselves forget the battle raging in the outside world for one night.
-
one year later… --
Order Headquarters was mostly deserted except for Sirius and Lupin disconsolately playing chess to pass the time. Lily and James were apparating over, apparently with big news, but in an hour. They'd wanted to tell Peter too, but he was doing work for the Order, and couldn't be reached.
"I hate chess. I've always hated chess." Sirius sighed, as Lupin checkmated him again.
"Sirius-I know for a fact you're far more intelligent than I am." Lupin looked up at him, sighing.
"That's the thing, Moony. You're book-smart, good at logic and things. I'm street-smart. There's a difference."
"Oh, please. You got an "Outstanding" in every N.E.W.T. you took."
"So did you!"
"Yes, well, our comparable intelligence should not end in me winning every game." Lupin pointed out.
"I can't focus! What are Lily and James going to tell us? I mean, they just sent that very cryptic letter-very rude of them, really."
"Oh, come on, Sirius, think real hard. What news could our married friends possibly have?" Lupin put a finger to his chin in mock concentration.
"What? Do you know something?" Sirius looked at him, examining his expression for a clue.
"Okay, someone's been taking his "Stupid Git" pills this morning." Lupin sighed.
"Hey! Random hit on Sirius out of nowhere!"
"Deserved."
"Fine, if you're not going to tell me, I'm going to sit here and sulk until they get here."
"That's just swell, Sirius, I'll be basking in the glow of knowing something you don't."
Sirius thought for a moment, then drew in a sharp intake of breath.
"Do you think Lily's pregnant?" He slammed a hand down on the table.
"Gasp! Could that be it?" Lupin said, his eyes wide with sardonic shock.
"Okay, Moony, the abusal of sarcasm has GOT to stop."
"Sorry." Lupin grinned.
"You really think that's it?"
"Well, the only other thing I could come up with is that she discovered her mad passion for Snape could be denied no longer, and off she went, and James is rejoining our happy bachelor life." Lupin shrugged.
"LUPIN! That is getting verrry irritating."
"Oh, come on, that was funny."
"Fine, I'll give you that one." Sirius conceded, as the door to headquarters banged open.
Lily and James hurried in, looking rather flushed.
"Hello, you two." She said, smiling so wide it looked like her face must hurt.
"Hey." Sirius and Lupin said expectantly.
"Sorry about the cryptic note, we couldn't write anything more-and besides, we wanted to tell you in person." James explained, sitting down next to his wife.
"Tell us what?" Lupin said with wide-eyed innocence, while Sirius sniggered.
"Well…this might come as a bit of a shock…" Lily started.
"But we're pregnant! Or, she is, but you know what I mean!" James laughed, obviously still unable to believe it.
"That's SHOCKING!" Lupin said, and Sirius let out a short bark- like laugh.
"You figured it out." Lily grinned at them.
"Of course we did-well, Moony had one other theory, but it involved a torrid affair with Snape, and I really don't think either of us wants to revisit that frightening mental place." Sirius said, babbling.
This was so surreal-James and Lily were having a baby. His best friend was going to be a father?
"Congratulations." Lupin said sincerely, hugging Lily tightly and shaking James' hand.
"Oh, come here." James pulled Lupin into a hug, clearly ecstatic.
"That really is terrific." Sirius hugged them both as well.
Lily was so happy, but some part of her was terrified as well. What if Voldemort was still around when she had their child? Was it irresponsible to be thinking about children when they were supposed to be fighting a war?
But she took one look at James' face, and all her doubts seemed to fade. She decided something in that moment. She'd do everything in her power to give this child a world without fear…whatever it took. -
nine months later july 31 --
Lily lay in her hospital bed at St. Mungo's, pushing her sweaty bangs off her forehead.
"Please say that was it." She groaned, looking at the Healer, a tall black woman named Delia.
"Sorry, honey-that was just the beginning."
"Oh, isn't there some magical way to just…pop the kid out?" Sirius looked at the Healer, exasperated.
"Yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, birth is one of the few things we witches have to do the Muggle way." Delia grinned at Sirius.
"It's all right, Lily dear," Molly Weasley said comfortingly from her bedside, "I've done this six times." Molly's newest redheaded addition to the family, a baby named Ron, was cooing quietly from her lap.
"So are you the father?" Delia asked Sirius.
"Me? Oh, Merlin's beard, no. We've owled him about fifty times-he's apparating here now." Sirius laughed.
"You'd think Dumbledore could give him my due date off." Lily sighed.
"Well, these things are rather unpredictable-and after that Bellatrix rampage, he needs all the help he can get."
"He should've sent me-I'm her bloody cousin, I'd show her what for." Sirius growled.
Suddenly, James appeared in the room, looking severely stressed and uncommonly pale.
He looked around wildly, spotting Lily.
"I didn't miss it?" He rushed to her side.
"No, no-apparently we've only just started." Lily smiled, taking his hand as her smile instantly faded with a contraction.
"AAAARGH!!" She shouted, nearly breaking his hand.
James looked around at Sirius and Molly.
"I'll take it from here, guys. Thanks."
Sirius looked relieved to leave, and Molly gave Lily a reassuring smile before following him out the door.
"So, your friend-Sirius, was it?" Delia asked, looking after them.
"Yes. Sirius Black." James replied, distracted.
"Is he seeing anyone?" Delia raised an eyebrow.
"Can we focus please?" Lily rolled her eyes.
'Sorry. But DAMN." Delia laughed.
James and Lily laughed despite themselves- they just couldn't take him anywhere, it seemed.
The birth proved to be no laughing matter however. But after what seemed like hours, it was all over, and the baby, a healthy little boy, was carried off by the Healer's assistants.
"I think I've permanently lost feeling in my hand." James laughed, wringing out the hand she'd held onto.
"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, James-this must have been so painful for YOU." Lily practically growled.
"I'm sorry-darling, are you all right?"
Lily nodded weakly, sitting up in bed, anxious to see their baby.
"You know what we never talked about?"
"What?"
"What to name him."
Lily thought for a moment.
"I always liked the name Tristan." She shrugged.
"That makes him sound like some pouncy poof. Let's not ruin his life before it even truly begins." James winced.
She rolled her eyes.
"Fine, let's hear your suggestion."
James' eyebrows went together in consideration.
"What about Harry?"
"Like your dad?"
"Yeah-they'd be so pleased, and Harry's a great name."
"I like it. Harry James Potter. Manly enough for you?" Lily smiled at him.
"Very manly." James conceded, grinning back.
Suddenly, Delia returned, a little blue bundle in her arms.
"He's such a happy little guy." Delia smiled softly, handing him gently to Lily.
Lily looked down at her son, and saw him staring peacefully back at her.
"Hey, Harry." James felt a strange lump in his throat as it really sunk in that this was son.
"Mummy and daddy love you so much." Lily touched his warm little nose with her finger, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Harry made a tiny baby noise in reply, yawning.
"He's already bored with us." James laughed, feeling his eyes stinging slightly.
Lily smiled tearfully at her husband.
"I love you so much." She whispered.
He kissed her soundly, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"Now we're really a family."
Lily and James didn't speak for a moment, just looking down at Harry-it seemed unreal that they could love someone so much after meeting him five minutes ago.
"Can I come in already?" Sirius' impatient voice broke the blissful silence.
"Yes, come in!" Lily laughed.
Sirius bounded in.
"Sorry to interrupt the family bonding-I think that Healer was about to manhandle me or something. Let me see him!"
"We named him Harry." Lily said, letting Sirius hold him rather tentatively.
"Good choice," Sirius nodded, looking down at their son with a wide smile, "You know, Prongs, this little guy sure looks a lot like me. Maybe you should ask your seemingly duplicitous wife about that."
"Oh, yes, James-forgot to mention something." Lily slapped a hand to her forehead, as Sirius laughed so hard that Harry let out a whine of protest.
"Please. He looks just like me. Just like his daddy." James took Harry back from Sirius, unable to stop smiling and still feeling that lump in his throat.
"Lupin's said he can't stand that he couldn't make it. He's supposed to interrogate Bellatrix-try to get some more leads." James explained, suddenly feeling the absence of their other best friend.
"That woman is bound and determined to ruin Harry's birthday." Sirius shook his head, fleeting memories of his dark-haired, dark-eyed cousin entering his mind and making him shudder.
Peter suddenly burst into the room.
"Wormtail?" Sirius looked shocked more than excited.
"Where have you BEEN?" James looked at him, blinking in surprise.
"Had a little run-in with some rather shady characters-but I'm sure no one wants to hear about that now, let me see the little one!"
"Peter-you've been gone for a year." James said, holding Harry a little tighter.
His friend's eyes were darting around the room in a rather strange, shifty way, and he was pale and thin.
"I know; it was awful. But I'm here now, and I only just heard the news! Congratulations!"
Peter's war-worn appearance and shaking voice unnerved all of them, sucking the joyful mood of the room.
"Well-I'm sure Lily needs some rest. Maybe we should leave the Potters to themselves." Sirius clapped his hands together, noticing the sudden awkwardness.
"Oh, yes, all right." Peter looked very disappointed over his friend's lack of excitement at his return.
Sirius and Peter left, walking down the hall.
"Glad you're all right." Sirius said, still feeling that uncomfortable air.
"Thanks. It's great to see you all again." Peter smiled widely, revealing missing teeth.
Sirius was about to ask what had really happened to him, when the other members of the Order who could make it to St. Mungo's spotted Peter, and he was swamped with greetings.
"I think I left something in the room…" Sirius muttered an excuse, hurrying back to Lily and James' room.
"Hey, guys." He entered, flopping down in the chair next to the bed, feeling very strange indeed after seeing Peter again.
"We just can't get rid of you, can we?" Lily teased.
"I'm afraid not. Next thing you know, I'll live at your house, and we can be a regular Three's Company." Sirius shrugged.
"Weird seeing Wormtail again. He looks a state, eh?" James said, still holding Harry.
"I know. Seems to be in a state as well." Lily added.
No one seemed to know what else to say about this.
"Hey, Sirius?"
"Yeah?"
"Lily and I actually wanted to ask you something."
"No, I won't baby-sit." Sirius grinned.
"We're serious." Lily said.
"No, I'm Sirius."
"Padfoot, come on! We're really trying to ask you something!" James said, exasperated.
"Sorry." Sirius said, his grin fading. Their solemn expressions were really freaking him out.
"No need to look terrified. We just wanted to ask you…if you would be Harry's godfather." Lily said, reaching out to take his hand.
Sirius blinked in shock.
"Me?"
"Who better? You've been my best friend since I was eleven. I mean, don't run away screaming at this, but I love you, and believe me, you're the only guy I'd ever say that to." James smiled at him warmly.
Sirius laughed, looking a little overwhelmed.
"We both love you, Sirius. You've always been there for James, and you were so great to me once I got to know you. And we couldn't ask for a better person to take care of Harry if…if we were no longer able to."
Sirius cleared his throat as they watched him expectantly.
"Of course. Of course I'll be Harry's godfather." He finally said, looking very touched indeed.
Now all three of them were practically in tears, even Sirius, who would vehemently deny this later.
-
eight months later… --
Sirius, Lupin, and Peter all sat around the Potter's kitchen table. Lily was attempting to put Harry to sleep as James paced around the kitchen. The only sounds were the steady ticking of the clock and the loud wails of Harry from upstairs.
"Why doesn't he ever want to sleep?" James sighed, messing up his hair with one hand.
"James, please, you have to make a decision." Lupin prodded gently.
"I don't know! What am I supposed to say? That we'll go into hiding?"
"I don't see that you have any other choice." Lupin's voice was tinged with sadness.
The latest Death Eater they had captured and interrogated had finally broken, and let them know that the Potters were next. Voldemort was planning to murder them personally to 'reward' all the work they'd done for the Order. Dumbledore had sent Sirius, Lupin, and Peter to try to persuade Lily and James to go into hiding and choose a Secret Keeper.
"This is ridiculous! Harry's not even a year old yet! We can't just go traipsing about the globe anymore!"
Lily had entered, dark circles framing her green eyes.
"What's going on?"
James rather testily explained the situation to her.
"We have to hide." She looked at him desperately.
"Where? Where do we go, Lily?" He slammed a fist down on the table.
She fell silent, looking at the livid expression on her husband's face.
Suddenly, an owl fluttered into the room. Lupin sighed, opening the envelope. He scanned it quickly, and his mouth tightened into a thin line.
"What's wrong?" James asked, grateful for a distraction.
"The Longbottoms. They're in St. Mungo's. Somehow, Bellatrix got their wands away from them until they were tortured into insanity. They have a son about Harry's age."
No one spoke.
"I should go-Dumbledore says he'd appreciate if I could tell the Longbottom's mother what happened. Says I have a talent for breaking bad news gently." Lupin put his head in his hands, exhausted. But after a moment, he got up and picked up his coat.
"Please tell me whatever you decide." He embraced Lily and James tightly.
With that he was gone.
"We have to hide." Lily repeated, her eyes wet with tears.
The Longbottoms had been their friends, and now Voldemort had gotten to them.
"If we don't, Voldemort'll kill Harry too." She said, her voice choking.
"You're right." James finally relented.
They all sat in thought for a moment.
"My mum…when she died," James began, "She left us that estate in Ireland. We can protect it with charms and such, and hide out there."
"Sirius, will you be our Secret Keeper? We'll tell you exactly where it is, and you'll have go into hiding." Lily sat down next to him.
Sirius considered this for a moment.
"Voldemort…he knows we're friends. I don't know how he knows, but Lupin said that Bellatrix told him that Voldemort's aware I'm your best friend. I'll be the first person he tries to track down…and he has methods of making me talk I'm not even sure I could fight. I'd die to keep the secret, of course I would, but it might not be my choice. Let Peter do it."
Lily and James looked over at Peter as if only just realizing he was there.
"Wouldn't Voldemort know Peter was our friend?" Lily queried.
"Bellatrix didn't even mention Peter, according to Lupin." Sirius shrugged.
Peter was inwardly begging for them to choose him-it would make everything that much easier.
"Peter, would you be willing to go into hiding with our location?" Lily asked him.
"I'd be proud to do it." He said, feeling his hands shake slightly as guilt overwhelmed him. But facing the wrath of Sirius if he betrayed them seemed more manageable than the wrath of Lord Voldemort.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." James sat down next to Peter, his eyes shining with gratefulness.
"Of course. I'm your friend. What did you expect?" Peter laughed nervously.
"I'll tell Lupin you've chosen me. That way, if they go after him, he'll lead them in the wrong direction." Sirius got up to leave so they could give Peter all the information.
Suddenly, he looked back, struck with the fact that this would be the last time he'd see them for awhile. A large lump formed in his throat.
"James…please be careful." Sirius said, his voice strangely shaky.
James got up, hugging him tightly and saying strongly, "Of course we will."
He hugged Lily next, who whispered in his ear, "If we don't make it out of this, and Harry does…"
"I'll take care of him. I promise you, Lily."
"Thank you." Tears were streaming down her face now.
Sirius merely nodded, and left the room.
"All right, Peter-are you listening?"
"I'm all ears."
--
a/n- grr, stupid wormtail! final chapter posting now!
three years later… --
Lily lay awake in bed, long past midnight. James had been gone with Sirius on "Order Business." He'd been gone for two weeks with no word. She knew communication was forbidden in case it was intercepted, but she missed him so badly it made her feel sick. This was so stupid-she was in the Order of the Phoenix as well, why couldn't she have gone? They'd gotten married a week before being asked by Dumbledore to join the Order. He had apologized profusely for bothering them on their honeymoon, but they were desperately needed.
So the honeymoon was cut short, and James and Lily had been swamped with so much work for the Order that they'd barely even seen each other in their first year of marriage. Lupin, Peter, and Sirius had joined along with them, but even with everyone's combined efforts-the powers and number of followers of Voldemort were growing alarmingly quickly.
Lily got up, restlessly pacing the room. So many people fighting for Dumbledore were dying every week…she prayed silently that James and Sirius would not join the victim lists that kept growing longer and longer.
Her heart constricted with worry and loneliness as she stared out the window at the starlit night sky. Suddenly, she heard a stair creak outside their bedroom. Lily froze, instantly grabbing her wand off the night table.
The door opened slowly, and every muscle in her body tensed, waiting.
James walked through the door, and stopped when he saw her.
She relaxed immediately, setting the wand back down on the bedside table.
"Sorry, darling. I thought you'd be asleep; I didn't want to wake you. I didn't mean to scare you." James' said softly.
"Thank God you're all right!" She breathed, racing over to him and throwing her arms around him.
Feeling him in her arms flooded her with relief, she kissed him fiercely.
"Good to see you too, love." James smiled, looking a little surprised at such a reception.
"Sirius is all right, too?" She asked breathlessly, unable to stop touching him, tracing the lines of his face with her hands.
He kissed her forehead.
"We're both perfectly fine. Nary a scratch." He smiled.
She laid her head on his shoulder, not saying anything, just breathing him in.
"I missed you so much." James whispered in her ear, kissing her again.
"I can't stand you being gone like this." Lily said, closing her eyes against the sting of tears.
"I know. I hate it too. But we're helping the Order, and that's more important than anything right now."
"Even our marriage?"
"Lily, please don't…you know that you matter more to me than anything in the world…but the whole reason we're fighting so hard, the whole reason we're sacrificing everything is so that…well, I wouldn't want to raise our children in the world we live in now, would you?"
"I know. You're right. I'm sorry…I'm just…it's just really hard sometimes."
"Doing the right thing never seems to be easy." James said sadly.
"No kidding."
"But, hey-I'm home now."
"Yes, you are…" She trailed off, kissing him.
"Hey…you know if we do want kids…we better not waste anytime…who knows where they'll ship us off to next…" He mumbled against her mouth.
"Why, James Potter, whatever are you suggesting?" She smiled, starting to unbutton his shirt.
"Perhaps I'm suggesting that I haven't seen my wife in two weeks, and she's never looked more beautiful, and I've never wanted her quite as much as I do right now-"
Lily kissed him, a slow, deep kiss that still made him feel lightheaded, even after a year of marriage.
"James?"
"Yes?" He said, slightly breathlessly.
"You talk too much. You've always talked too much." She slipped her camisole off.
"Shutting up." He said obediently, marveling at how he'd ever gotten such a beautiful woman to marry him.
They claimed each other's lips again with a hungry passion, letting themselves forget the battle raging in the outside world for one night.
-
one year later… --
Order Headquarters was mostly deserted except for Sirius and Lupin disconsolately playing chess to pass the time. Lily and James were apparating over, apparently with big news, but in an hour. They'd wanted to tell Peter too, but he was doing work for the Order, and couldn't be reached.
"I hate chess. I've always hated chess." Sirius sighed, as Lupin checkmated him again.
"Sirius-I know for a fact you're far more intelligent than I am." Lupin looked up at him, sighing.
"That's the thing, Moony. You're book-smart, good at logic and things. I'm street-smart. There's a difference."
"Oh, please. You got an "Outstanding" in every N.E.W.T. you took."
"So did you!"
"Yes, well, our comparable intelligence should not end in me winning every game." Lupin pointed out.
"I can't focus! What are Lily and James going to tell us? I mean, they just sent that very cryptic letter-very rude of them, really."
"Oh, come on, Sirius, think real hard. What news could our married friends possibly have?" Lupin put a finger to his chin in mock concentration.
"What? Do you know something?" Sirius looked at him, examining his expression for a clue.
"Okay, someone's been taking his "Stupid Git" pills this morning." Lupin sighed.
"Hey! Random hit on Sirius out of nowhere!"
"Deserved."
"Fine, if you're not going to tell me, I'm going to sit here and sulk until they get here."
"That's just swell, Sirius, I'll be basking in the glow of knowing something you don't."
Sirius thought for a moment, then drew in a sharp intake of breath.
"Do you think Lily's pregnant?" He slammed a hand down on the table.
"Gasp! Could that be it?" Lupin said, his eyes wide with sardonic shock.
"Okay, Moony, the abusal of sarcasm has GOT to stop."
"Sorry." Lupin grinned.
"You really think that's it?"
"Well, the only other thing I could come up with is that she discovered her mad passion for Snape could be denied no longer, and off she went, and James is rejoining our happy bachelor life." Lupin shrugged.
"LUPIN! That is getting verrry irritating."
"Oh, come on, that was funny."
"Fine, I'll give you that one." Sirius conceded, as the door to headquarters banged open.
Lily and James hurried in, looking rather flushed.
"Hello, you two." She said, smiling so wide it looked like her face must hurt.
"Hey." Sirius and Lupin said expectantly.
"Sorry about the cryptic note, we couldn't write anything more-and besides, we wanted to tell you in person." James explained, sitting down next to his wife.
"Tell us what?" Lupin said with wide-eyed innocence, while Sirius sniggered.
"Well…this might come as a bit of a shock…" Lily started.
"But we're pregnant! Or, she is, but you know what I mean!" James laughed, obviously still unable to believe it.
"That's SHOCKING!" Lupin said, and Sirius let out a short bark- like laugh.
"You figured it out." Lily grinned at them.
"Of course we did-well, Moony had one other theory, but it involved a torrid affair with Snape, and I really don't think either of us wants to revisit that frightening mental place." Sirius said, babbling.
This was so surreal-James and Lily were having a baby. His best friend was going to be a father?
"Congratulations." Lupin said sincerely, hugging Lily tightly and shaking James' hand.
"Oh, come here." James pulled Lupin into a hug, clearly ecstatic.
"That really is terrific." Sirius hugged them both as well.
Lily was so happy, but some part of her was terrified as well. What if Voldemort was still around when she had their child? Was it irresponsible to be thinking about children when they were supposed to be fighting a war?
But she took one look at James' face, and all her doubts seemed to fade. She decided something in that moment. She'd do everything in her power to give this child a world without fear…whatever it took. -
nine months later july 31 --
Lily lay in her hospital bed at St. Mungo's, pushing her sweaty bangs off her forehead.
"Please say that was it." She groaned, looking at the Healer, a tall black woman named Delia.
"Sorry, honey-that was just the beginning."
"Oh, isn't there some magical way to just…pop the kid out?" Sirius looked at the Healer, exasperated.
"Yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, birth is one of the few things we witches have to do the Muggle way." Delia grinned at Sirius.
"It's all right, Lily dear," Molly Weasley said comfortingly from her bedside, "I've done this six times." Molly's newest redheaded addition to the family, a baby named Ron, was cooing quietly from her lap.
"So are you the father?" Delia asked Sirius.
"Me? Oh, Merlin's beard, no. We've owled him about fifty times-he's apparating here now." Sirius laughed.
"You'd think Dumbledore could give him my due date off." Lily sighed.
"Well, these things are rather unpredictable-and after that Bellatrix rampage, he needs all the help he can get."
"He should've sent me-I'm her bloody cousin, I'd show her what for." Sirius growled.
Suddenly, James appeared in the room, looking severely stressed and uncommonly pale.
He looked around wildly, spotting Lily.
"I didn't miss it?" He rushed to her side.
"No, no-apparently we've only just started." Lily smiled, taking his hand as her smile instantly faded with a contraction.
"AAAARGH!!" She shouted, nearly breaking his hand.
James looked around at Sirius and Molly.
"I'll take it from here, guys. Thanks."
Sirius looked relieved to leave, and Molly gave Lily a reassuring smile before following him out the door.
"So, your friend-Sirius, was it?" Delia asked, looking after them.
"Yes. Sirius Black." James replied, distracted.
"Is he seeing anyone?" Delia raised an eyebrow.
"Can we focus please?" Lily rolled her eyes.
'Sorry. But DAMN." Delia laughed.
James and Lily laughed despite themselves- they just couldn't take him anywhere, it seemed.
The birth proved to be no laughing matter however. But after what seemed like hours, it was all over, and the baby, a healthy little boy, was carried off by the Healer's assistants.
"I think I've permanently lost feeling in my hand." James laughed, wringing out the hand she'd held onto.
"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, James-this must have been so painful for YOU." Lily practically growled.
"I'm sorry-darling, are you all right?"
Lily nodded weakly, sitting up in bed, anxious to see their baby.
"You know what we never talked about?"
"What?"
"What to name him."
Lily thought for a moment.
"I always liked the name Tristan." She shrugged.
"That makes him sound like some pouncy poof. Let's not ruin his life before it even truly begins." James winced.
She rolled her eyes.
"Fine, let's hear your suggestion."
James' eyebrows went together in consideration.
"What about Harry?"
"Like your dad?"
"Yeah-they'd be so pleased, and Harry's a great name."
"I like it. Harry James Potter. Manly enough for you?" Lily smiled at him.
"Very manly." James conceded, grinning back.
Suddenly, Delia returned, a little blue bundle in her arms.
"He's such a happy little guy." Delia smiled softly, handing him gently to Lily.
Lily looked down at her son, and saw him staring peacefully back at her.
"Hey, Harry." James felt a strange lump in his throat as it really sunk in that this was son.
"Mummy and daddy love you so much." Lily touched his warm little nose with her finger, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Harry made a tiny baby noise in reply, yawning.
"He's already bored with us." James laughed, feeling his eyes stinging slightly.
Lily smiled tearfully at her husband.
"I love you so much." She whispered.
He kissed her soundly, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"Now we're really a family."
Lily and James didn't speak for a moment, just looking down at Harry-it seemed unreal that they could love someone so much after meeting him five minutes ago.
"Can I come in already?" Sirius' impatient voice broke the blissful silence.
"Yes, come in!" Lily laughed.
Sirius bounded in.
"Sorry to interrupt the family bonding-I think that Healer was about to manhandle me or something. Let me see him!"
"We named him Harry." Lily said, letting Sirius hold him rather tentatively.
"Good choice," Sirius nodded, looking down at their son with a wide smile, "You know, Prongs, this little guy sure looks a lot like me. Maybe you should ask your seemingly duplicitous wife about that."
"Oh, yes, James-forgot to mention something." Lily slapped a hand to her forehead, as Sirius laughed so hard that Harry let out a whine of protest.
"Please. He looks just like me. Just like his daddy." James took Harry back from Sirius, unable to stop smiling and still feeling that lump in his throat.
"Lupin's said he can't stand that he couldn't make it. He's supposed to interrogate Bellatrix-try to get some more leads." James explained, suddenly feeling the absence of their other best friend.
"That woman is bound and determined to ruin Harry's birthday." Sirius shook his head, fleeting memories of his dark-haired, dark-eyed cousin entering his mind and making him shudder.
Peter suddenly burst into the room.
"Wormtail?" Sirius looked shocked more than excited.
"Where have you BEEN?" James looked at him, blinking in surprise.
"Had a little run-in with some rather shady characters-but I'm sure no one wants to hear about that now, let me see the little one!"
"Peter-you've been gone for a year." James said, holding Harry a little tighter.
His friend's eyes were darting around the room in a rather strange, shifty way, and he was pale and thin.
"I know; it was awful. But I'm here now, and I only just heard the news! Congratulations!"
Peter's war-worn appearance and shaking voice unnerved all of them, sucking the joyful mood of the room.
"Well-I'm sure Lily needs some rest. Maybe we should leave the Potters to themselves." Sirius clapped his hands together, noticing the sudden awkwardness.
"Oh, yes, all right." Peter looked very disappointed over his friend's lack of excitement at his return.
Sirius and Peter left, walking down the hall.
"Glad you're all right." Sirius said, still feeling that uncomfortable air.
"Thanks. It's great to see you all again." Peter smiled widely, revealing missing teeth.
Sirius was about to ask what had really happened to him, when the other members of the Order who could make it to St. Mungo's spotted Peter, and he was swamped with greetings.
"I think I left something in the room…" Sirius muttered an excuse, hurrying back to Lily and James' room.
"Hey, guys." He entered, flopping down in the chair next to the bed, feeling very strange indeed after seeing Peter again.
"We just can't get rid of you, can we?" Lily teased.
"I'm afraid not. Next thing you know, I'll live at your house, and we can be a regular Three's Company." Sirius shrugged.
"Weird seeing Wormtail again. He looks a state, eh?" James said, still holding Harry.
"I know. Seems to be in a state as well." Lily added.
No one seemed to know what else to say about this.
"Hey, Sirius?"
"Yeah?"
"Lily and I actually wanted to ask you something."
"No, I won't baby-sit." Sirius grinned.
"We're serious." Lily said.
"No, I'm Sirius."
"Padfoot, come on! We're really trying to ask you something!" James said, exasperated.
"Sorry." Sirius said, his grin fading. Their solemn expressions were really freaking him out.
"No need to look terrified. We just wanted to ask you…if you would be Harry's godfather." Lily said, reaching out to take his hand.
Sirius blinked in shock.
"Me?"
"Who better? You've been my best friend since I was eleven. I mean, don't run away screaming at this, but I love you, and believe me, you're the only guy I'd ever say that to." James smiled at him warmly.
Sirius laughed, looking a little overwhelmed.
"We both love you, Sirius. You've always been there for James, and you were so great to me once I got to know you. And we couldn't ask for a better person to take care of Harry if…if we were no longer able to."
Sirius cleared his throat as they watched him expectantly.
"Of course. Of course I'll be Harry's godfather." He finally said, looking very touched indeed.
Now all three of them were practically in tears, even Sirius, who would vehemently deny this later.
-
eight months later… --
Sirius, Lupin, and Peter all sat around the Potter's kitchen table. Lily was attempting to put Harry to sleep as James paced around the kitchen. The only sounds were the steady ticking of the clock and the loud wails of Harry from upstairs.
"Why doesn't he ever want to sleep?" James sighed, messing up his hair with one hand.
"James, please, you have to make a decision." Lupin prodded gently.
"I don't know! What am I supposed to say? That we'll go into hiding?"
"I don't see that you have any other choice." Lupin's voice was tinged with sadness.
The latest Death Eater they had captured and interrogated had finally broken, and let them know that the Potters were next. Voldemort was planning to murder them personally to 'reward' all the work they'd done for the Order. Dumbledore had sent Sirius, Lupin, and Peter to try to persuade Lily and James to go into hiding and choose a Secret Keeper.
"This is ridiculous! Harry's not even a year old yet! We can't just go traipsing about the globe anymore!"
Lily had entered, dark circles framing her green eyes.
"What's going on?"
James rather testily explained the situation to her.
"We have to hide." She looked at him desperately.
"Where? Where do we go, Lily?" He slammed a fist down on the table.
She fell silent, looking at the livid expression on her husband's face.
Suddenly, an owl fluttered into the room. Lupin sighed, opening the envelope. He scanned it quickly, and his mouth tightened into a thin line.
"What's wrong?" James asked, grateful for a distraction.
"The Longbottoms. They're in St. Mungo's. Somehow, Bellatrix got their wands away from them until they were tortured into insanity. They have a son about Harry's age."
No one spoke.
"I should go-Dumbledore says he'd appreciate if I could tell the Longbottom's mother what happened. Says I have a talent for breaking bad news gently." Lupin put his head in his hands, exhausted. But after a moment, he got up and picked up his coat.
"Please tell me whatever you decide." He embraced Lily and James tightly.
With that he was gone.
"We have to hide." Lily repeated, her eyes wet with tears.
The Longbottoms had been their friends, and now Voldemort had gotten to them.
"If we don't, Voldemort'll kill Harry too." She said, her voice choking.
"You're right." James finally relented.
They all sat in thought for a moment.
"My mum…when she died," James began, "She left us that estate in Ireland. We can protect it with charms and such, and hide out there."
"Sirius, will you be our Secret Keeper? We'll tell you exactly where it is, and you'll have go into hiding." Lily sat down next to him.
Sirius considered this for a moment.
"Voldemort…he knows we're friends. I don't know how he knows, but Lupin said that Bellatrix told him that Voldemort's aware I'm your best friend. I'll be the first person he tries to track down…and he has methods of making me talk I'm not even sure I could fight. I'd die to keep the secret, of course I would, but it might not be my choice. Let Peter do it."
Lily and James looked over at Peter as if only just realizing he was there.
"Wouldn't Voldemort know Peter was our friend?" Lily queried.
"Bellatrix didn't even mention Peter, according to Lupin." Sirius shrugged.
Peter was inwardly begging for them to choose him-it would make everything that much easier.
"Peter, would you be willing to go into hiding with our location?" Lily asked him.
"I'd be proud to do it." He said, feeling his hands shake slightly as guilt overwhelmed him. But facing the wrath of Sirius if he betrayed them seemed more manageable than the wrath of Lord Voldemort.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." James sat down next to Peter, his eyes shining with gratefulness.
"Of course. I'm your friend. What did you expect?" Peter laughed nervously.
"I'll tell Lupin you've chosen me. That way, if they go after him, he'll lead them in the wrong direction." Sirius got up to leave so they could give Peter all the information.
Suddenly, he looked back, struck with the fact that this would be the last time he'd see them for awhile. A large lump formed in his throat.
"James…please be careful." Sirius said, his voice strangely shaky.
James got up, hugging him tightly and saying strongly, "Of course we will."
He hugged Lily next, who whispered in his ear, "If we don't make it out of this, and Harry does…"
"I'll take care of him. I promise you, Lily."
"Thank you." Tears were streaming down her face now.
Sirius merely nodded, and left the room.
"All right, Peter-are you listening?"
"I'm all ears."
--
a/n- grr, stupid wormtail! final chapter posting now!