A/N: Sorry if I wasn't clear enough in my original summary. The first three chapters of this story are going to be AU worlds in which Xander kills someone, who he didn't actually kill on the show. The last three are going to be about people in whose deaths Xander actually did play a part.
Xander awoke to mind-numbing pain. Fighting alongside Buffy for all those years, with no slayer healing powers had familiarized him to pain, but so far, he had felt nothing of this magnitude. And the strange thing was, he didn't remember where he was or how he got there. The huge hammer hurtling towards his face that stopped only inches away from its destination gave him a much-needed clue. The bearer of said hammer gave him another one.
"Xander?" asked Buffy, looking both confused and hurt at the same time. "How did you—oh God." Pained realization swept over her face. "You're her. I don't understand."
"You don't understand. You might want to try to understand before you finish off that whole beating me bloody thing."
"He must be Glory's human host. I expect there was some sort of spell to keep us from realizing before. It's likely that the physical weakening of Glory and Xander also weakened the spell." Giles' exposition came from a voice filled with more shock and pain than usual, but it still held that air of absolute authority it always had.
"Wait, so Xander could have been Glory for years, maybe even forever?" asked Buffy, on the verge of tears.
"We can't rule it out, no."
Xander felt like he should protest, but for some reason he didn't find any of this too hard to swallow. There were gaps that he couldn't explain, now that he thought of it. But to accept that that demonic woman who had terrorized the town inhabited his body—it was just too much to take.
"Great, now on top of everything else, I have to worry about my father discovering I'm waking up in strange places dressed in women's clothes," Xander said, in what he hoped was his usual joking voice.
"Xander, this is no time to joke," Giles said severely.
"You think I don't know that!?" exclaimed Xander. "It never is, but what the hell else am I supposed to do!?"
Buffy interrupted before Giles could respond. "You can get out of Sunnydale, out of California, actually, and never come back. I wish it didn't have to be this way Xander, but I--."
Buffy was interrupted by Spike's body crashing to the ground on the other side of the tower. "Dawn," she breathed, before running towards the stairs, not even taking a last look at her friend. Not that he would have expected her to.
"I guess I got off easy, huh G-man?" As he said this, he coughed up a glob of blood that dribbled weakly off his chin. "Only a Scooby ganger could ever say that while coughing up blood, huh?"
But Giles wasn't interested in joking. "You're right. You did get off easy. Because Buffy's a hero. Unlike me."
"Don't you mean unlike me?" Suddenly Xander realized something, and tears started to flow down his face, mixing with the blood around his mouth and nose. "It was me, wasn't it? Who killed Anya."
"Most likely, it was Glory, yes."
"Oh Jesus."
"But I didn't mean unlike you. You didn't choose this fate, just as Dawn did not choose to be the Key. Right now, however, you do have a choice. You can choose to have me kill you, or you can do it yourself."
Xander's eyes widened as he realized what Giles was saying. He wasn't going to make it out of this alive. Suddenly a whimper broke out from among the rubble, and catching a flash of red hair, he realized it was Willow. "Will! Are you hurt?"
She crawled toward him slowly, her eyes fearful. "I'm okay. I was watching.when she—when you..."
Xander reached out his hand to touch her arm, but she flinched and drew away. "I'm sorry. It's just, seeing her turn into you, after what she did to Tara. I can't—I don't know..."
Xander turned to Giles. "She's afraid of me, Giles; Willow's afraid of me." Giles didn't know how to comfort the boy, seeing as he had just threatened to kill him, but he couldn't stand the pain on his face. "I'll do it."
"What?" asked Willow sharply, through her tears.
"Is there a knife or something around?" Xander asked, struggling to sit up.
"Xander, you can't!"
"Willow," Giles interjected gently. "He must."
"But no—he mustn't. There's got to be another way!"
"Glory could re-emerge at any moment and draw us all into hell, Xander included!"
Willow looked like she wanted to argue more, but she knew there was nothing she could say.
"Will, get out of here. I don't want you to see this."
"You think I'm going anywhere? If you insist on being such a man, then I'm going to be here holding your hand."
"Will—"
She shushed him with that foolproof resolve face of hers. Giles handed him a knife that he appeared to have pulled out of his boot. "You carry a knife in your boot, G-man?"
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
"Apparently. You know, I could stab you both right now and get out of here."
"You could. But while certainly a flawed human being, a coward you are not, nor have you ever been."
Xander half-smiled. "Thanks, Rupert." With Willow gripping his left hand, Xander brought his right hand, bearing the dagger down towards his chest, still shaking. He had an odd urge to laugh. "Just like something out of 'Julius Caeser', eh?"
"I wasn't aware you had read it."
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
"Yes, I suppose there are," said Giles sadly. "And Xander—"
"You gonna let me do this or what?"
"I just wanted you to know that I am a better man for having known you. And I will always be proud to have fought by your side." It was the fatherly tone, usually reserved for Buffy or Willow, that gave Xander the strength to finally bring the knife down into his chest.
A/N: I got this idea from rumours that the writers were originally planning to have Xander as Glory, rather than Ben.
Xander awoke to mind-numbing pain. Fighting alongside Buffy for all those years, with no slayer healing powers had familiarized him to pain, but so far, he had felt nothing of this magnitude. And the strange thing was, he didn't remember where he was or how he got there. The huge hammer hurtling towards his face that stopped only inches away from its destination gave him a much-needed clue. The bearer of said hammer gave him another one.
"Xander?" asked Buffy, looking both confused and hurt at the same time. "How did you—oh God." Pained realization swept over her face. "You're her. I don't understand."
"You don't understand. You might want to try to understand before you finish off that whole beating me bloody thing."
"He must be Glory's human host. I expect there was some sort of spell to keep us from realizing before. It's likely that the physical weakening of Glory and Xander also weakened the spell." Giles' exposition came from a voice filled with more shock and pain than usual, but it still held that air of absolute authority it always had.
"Wait, so Xander could have been Glory for years, maybe even forever?" asked Buffy, on the verge of tears.
"We can't rule it out, no."
Xander felt like he should protest, but for some reason he didn't find any of this too hard to swallow. There were gaps that he couldn't explain, now that he thought of it. But to accept that that demonic woman who had terrorized the town inhabited his body—it was just too much to take.
"Great, now on top of everything else, I have to worry about my father discovering I'm waking up in strange places dressed in women's clothes," Xander said, in what he hoped was his usual joking voice.
"Xander, this is no time to joke," Giles said severely.
"You think I don't know that!?" exclaimed Xander. "It never is, but what the hell else am I supposed to do!?"
Buffy interrupted before Giles could respond. "You can get out of Sunnydale, out of California, actually, and never come back. I wish it didn't have to be this way Xander, but I--."
Buffy was interrupted by Spike's body crashing to the ground on the other side of the tower. "Dawn," she breathed, before running towards the stairs, not even taking a last look at her friend. Not that he would have expected her to.
"I guess I got off easy, huh G-man?" As he said this, he coughed up a glob of blood that dribbled weakly off his chin. "Only a Scooby ganger could ever say that while coughing up blood, huh?"
But Giles wasn't interested in joking. "You're right. You did get off easy. Because Buffy's a hero. Unlike me."
"Don't you mean unlike me?" Suddenly Xander realized something, and tears started to flow down his face, mixing with the blood around his mouth and nose. "It was me, wasn't it? Who killed Anya."
"Most likely, it was Glory, yes."
"Oh Jesus."
"But I didn't mean unlike you. You didn't choose this fate, just as Dawn did not choose to be the Key. Right now, however, you do have a choice. You can choose to have me kill you, or you can do it yourself."
Xander's eyes widened as he realized what Giles was saying. He wasn't going to make it out of this alive. Suddenly a whimper broke out from among the rubble, and catching a flash of red hair, he realized it was Willow. "Will! Are you hurt?"
She crawled toward him slowly, her eyes fearful. "I'm okay. I was watching.when she—when you..."
Xander reached out his hand to touch her arm, but she flinched and drew away. "I'm sorry. It's just, seeing her turn into you, after what she did to Tara. I can't—I don't know..."
Xander turned to Giles. "She's afraid of me, Giles; Willow's afraid of me." Giles didn't know how to comfort the boy, seeing as he had just threatened to kill him, but he couldn't stand the pain on his face. "I'll do it."
"What?" asked Willow sharply, through her tears.
"Is there a knife or something around?" Xander asked, struggling to sit up.
"Xander, you can't!"
"Willow," Giles interjected gently. "He must."
"But no—he mustn't. There's got to be another way!"
"Glory could re-emerge at any moment and draw us all into hell, Xander included!"
Willow looked like she wanted to argue more, but she knew there was nothing she could say.
"Will, get out of here. I don't want you to see this."
"You think I'm going anywhere? If you insist on being such a man, then I'm going to be here holding your hand."
"Will—"
She shushed him with that foolproof resolve face of hers. Giles handed him a knife that he appeared to have pulled out of his boot. "You carry a knife in your boot, G-man?"
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
"Apparently. You know, I could stab you both right now and get out of here."
"You could. But while certainly a flawed human being, a coward you are not, nor have you ever been."
Xander half-smiled. "Thanks, Rupert." With Willow gripping his left hand, Xander brought his right hand, bearing the dagger down towards his chest, still shaking. He had an odd urge to laugh. "Just like something out of 'Julius Caeser', eh?"
"I wasn't aware you had read it."
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
"Yes, I suppose there are," said Giles sadly. "And Xander—"
"You gonna let me do this or what?"
"I just wanted you to know that I am a better man for having known you. And I will always be proud to have fought by your side." It was the fatherly tone, usually reserved for Buffy or Willow, that gave Xander the strength to finally bring the knife down into his chest.
A/N: I got this idea from rumours that the writers were originally planning to have Xander as Glory, rather than Ben.