"To know you is to love you
You're everywhere I go
And everybody knows

To love you is to be part of you
I've paid for you with tears
And swallowed all my pride"

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I looked at the girl nestled in my arms, sleeping. Sensing my movement she opened her eyes slightly and peered up at me.

"You OK?" she asked sleepily. Her hair was long and blonde, not the long, dark hair I was used to, and the eyes looking at me were that eerie gray, not the eyes I was used to. This girl was not Monica, I had had sex with a girl that was not my girlfriend. What was she doing here? What was I doing here? At that moment I wanted nothing more than to tell her to leave, fast. When it took me more than a minute to answer her eyes opened wider and she sat up a little.

"Chad, you ok?" she asked again, placing a hand lightly on my chest.

Was I ok? I didn't even know what that meant. I certainly shouldn't be, I had done something very, very wrong. She smiled at me encouragingly and I felt my heart warm. I had cheated on Monica, but right now I needed Thene, and more importantly she needed me. Even if only this weekend.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. She smiled and replaced her head on my chest, quickly falling back asleep. Moments later I did too.

I opened my eyes the next morning to see Thene watching me, smiling. The sight of her made my heart beat a little faster. "Morning," I mumbled.

Thene cocked her head to the side. "Do you realize you talk in your sleep?" she asked in response.

I laughed. "Yeah. My friends always said I wasted too much time talking about pointless things during the day."

"Well your friends are right," she said.

I sat up on my elbow. "Have I said anything pointless to you yet?" She squeezed her eyes shut. "What're you doing?" I asked.

Thene opened one eye and smiled. "Thinking about it." I hit her with a pillow as she laughed.

"I'm starving," I declared. "You want to go grab some breakfast?"

"Sure. Meet me by the doors in an hour, I'm going to go take a shower and get ready," she said as she crawled out of bed and got dressed.

"An hour?" I whined, although it usually took me just as long. Part of me really just needed to eat; the other part was terrified to be alone with my thoughts for too long.

Thene rolled her eyes. "Fine, a half hour."

"That's better." Thene got dressed and left the room. I hurriedly took a shower and got dressed. I felt so alive, no hint of the trepidation that woke me up last night was left. I ran to the doors as soon as I was ready, running fifteen minutes late. Thene, of course, was already waiting.

"Oh, an hour is sooooo long," she whined in imitation of me.

"You think looking this good can be rushed?" I asked, striking a pose. She rolled her eyes and walked outside.

I rushed after her. "Hey, what're you trying to say? I don't look good?" Thene shot me a look.

"What if I was?" she challenged. I swept her up, kissing her as I spun her around. When I finally set her back down she grinned and ran her hand through my hair. "You win," she said softly. "You look good."

I won. Finally.

---

"This is the best breakfast I've had in so long," I said as I ate.

Thene nodded. "Mom and Dad always brought me here for breakfast," she said and smiled. "Dad would always sit across from me and tell me I could order whatever I wanted - if I wanted cake, pie, French fries, soda, whatever, I could have it. He'd wait till I'd start eating then look at me seriously. 'Well Thene, are you going to try skiing this year?' he'd ask. I'd look at him and smile - 'I'll try, Daddy.' 'Of course she will,' Mom would say and put her arm around me. Every year we had that conversation." She looked down. "It wasn't until the last year that we came that I actually tried it." "What happened?" I asked gently. She laughed, wiping away a tear. "I fell on the bunny slope and broke my arm." She laughed again, as did I. I took her hand, squeezing it slightly. "Dad was so proud, though," she remembered.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked after a moment.

Thene shrugged. "What do you want to do?"

"What is there to do, you know the area better than me."

"We could walk around town, check out the little shops," she suggested. "They'll all be open for the tourists."

"Like us?" I asked with a smile.

"Like you," she clarified.

"But you're from Massachusetts, dear, this is Vermont. You're a tourist too," I said.

She shook her head. "No, I'm a New Englander so I'm not really a tourist."

"Is that how it works?" I asked, laughing.

Thene raised her eyebrows at me. "Don't question the system," she warned.

We paid our bill and left. There were dozens of little stores lining the narrow streets. Most weren't my kind of stores, they were mostly crafty little places and souvenir havens, but it was fun to wander in and out. Thene and I laughed at the same tacky sweatshirts and other things. Midway through the afternoon we stopped and had hot chocolate at a cafe.

"What do you think her story is?" Thene asked, pointing out the window next to us at a woman who looked to be around my age.

"Hmm, I bet she's from a city out west, who has to travel around a lot for her job, and just needed a weekend to get away," I predicted.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well she looks tired to me, and not just because she has to travel. She lost herself in the city, she didn't realize that though until she got here, and now she's just looking for something to make her feel alive. She doesn't know exactly what she is looking for, or what she wants or hopes to find, she just needs something to make herself feel like herself again. What about him?" I asked, pointing out a young guy with bleached-blonde hair.

"Oh, he's a ski instructor, no doubt. See how he's looking around while he stands there looking suave? He's waiting for this weekend's unassuming little blonde who convinced him to come down here for an hour. She's probably from New York or Boston, a real city girl he can impress right into his bed. He'll swear tomorrow as she's leaving he's planning on coming to the city soon and visit, but she'll never see him again, and next weekend he'll have someone new to lie to," she finished, staring at the guy so intensely I had to wonder if she was speaking from experience. She shook her head quickly and looked at me, then out the window again. "What about her, that woman in the sunglasses?"

I considered my answer, and had a little fun. "That is actually a famous actress. She got a break in shooting her next blockbuster so she decided to come here and get away from it all. All sorts of people are going to look at her today, but only some will think, 'Gee, she looks like that actress in that movie...?' But they'll just shake their heads and laugh at themselves. And so, for the first time in a long time, she'll be free and happy." I took a sip of hot chocolate and looked at Thene. She was peering at the woman, then she turned to me and smiled.

"Good one" she said. "Are you a writer?"

"No, why?" I would have lied and said yes but I was afraid that she might ask to read some of my work or something.

"You're creative, smart, funny, you'd be a good writer I think."

"Thanks. I wanted to be a writer when I graduated college, but I got this temporary job in an office and just never left."

"Oh, do you like it there?"

"I absolutely hate it."

"Really? You don't come off as the sort of guy who would just play it safe and stay at a job he hates."

"I did quit once, but I went back after they offered me more money. I would have said no, but New York apartments are expensive, and my actor roommate at the time made no money and ate twelve times a day."

"New York huh? I knew you were from a city, I just couldn't decide which one. Anyway, when you go home, I think you should quit, and find something you love. You don't deserve to be unhappy at a job you hate, you're to great for that."

"Thanks." I said as I smiled at her.

She was right, Chad wasn't the type of guy who would just stay at his job even though he hated it, Chandler was though. But her words really got to me, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to quit.

A few minutes later we left. Thene wanted to check out some candle store, so I headed across the street to a jewelry store.

I wandered around slowly, not quite sure what I was looking for.

"Can I help you?" the elderly woman at the cash register asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm looking for a gift for someone," I said, surprising myself.

"All right, who are you shopping for?" she asked, coming around the counter to help me.

"Um, well, she's my age or a little younger," I said stupidly, not having any idea what to call Thene and not sound like a jerk, after all, technically what was she other than the girl I was cheating on my girlfriend with?

"Ah," the woman said, smiling knowingly. "Maybe you'd like to look at a ring?"

"No," I said quickly. Rings meant things, things I had no intention of meaning. I needed a meaningless gift. 'That's practically like paying for sex,' my mind said. 'Why bother getting her a gift at all if it doesn't mean anything?'

"Maybe a necklace?" the woman suggested.

"Yeah, a necklace might work," I agreed and followed her to the back of the store. There were several on display, but only one caught my attention and held it. It was silver with a silver snowflake charm dangling. In the middle of the snowflake was a tiny diamond shaped like a heart. It was perfect. I pointed it out and the woman complimented my choice. I paid and slipped the small box in my pocket before leaving the store and rejoining Thene.

---------

"Let's go in here," Thene suggested around dark as we neared a bar and grill.

"We can have dinner, plus they have karaoke."

"You like karaoke?" I asked, amazed.

"I love it! C'mon, it'll be fun," she promised, pulling me in by the arm. We took a seat at a back table. As we waited for our orders Thene flipped through the songbook.

"You're really gonna get up there and sing?" I asked. She looked at me.

"Why are you so surprised?" she replied as she filled out a song request card.

"I just wouldn't peg you as a karaoke type," I told her. She ignored me and went to turn her card in, sticking her tongue out at me in the process. "What're you going to sing?" I asked when she came back.

"Guess you'll be surprised," she said.

A few minutes later our food arrived. As we ate we watched people of all different talent levels get up and sing their hearts out. The woman in charge of the whole thing got back on the microphone after a particularly bad rendition of "Unchained Melody". "Thank you very much, Barbara, let's give it up for Barb!" Barb waved to the crowd of people clapping halfheartedly.

"Barb should give it up for us," I whispered to Thene. I caught her off guard and she clamped her hand over her mouth to avoid letting out her very loud laugh, smacking me with her other hand.

"Next up we have Thene, who'll be giving us her version of a little ditty by miss Aretha Franklin," the woman announced.

"Aretha Franklin?" I repeated. Thene ignored me again and pranced up to the front. I sat forward expectantly. Thene was looking down, holding the mic in her right hand. When the music started she lifted her head slowly and dramatically. I had to fight the urge to laugh,.

"Looking out on the morning rain, I used to feel so uninspired," she sang. Now I had to laugh, she could barely carry a tune, but she was so into it. Within seconds she had the crowd in the palm of her hand, encouraging them to sing along. . She danced around, playing up to various guys, most of them over 60, until she stood right in front of me, pouting dramatically. She held up one finger to signal everyone to quiet down.

"Oh, baby, what you done to me," she crooned. "

What you done to me," her loyal subjects repeated.

She threw herself into my lap. "And I, just wanna be," she belt out, holding out the mic as a cue.

"Wanna be..."

"Close to you 'cause you make me feel so alive, 'cause you make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like a natural woman," she finished, staring into my eyes with a huge smile. I couldn't resist, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, hard. Of course her adoring public went nuts. Finally we parted and Thene ran the mic back up to the front and bowed. Flopping back down upon returning she grinned at me.

"So?" she asked. "You are one of the worst singers I have ever heard, that was awesome," I ruled, laughing.

"Thank you, thank you."

"You do this a lot?"

She nodded. "Every Thursday night back home, my friends and I go and challenge each other to see who can be the biggest ham." Thene got a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Ok then, I challenge you."

"You don't want to do that," I warned.

"Yes I do. You can do it."

"Oh I know I can."

"Oh you do, huh?" she teased.

"Yeah I do."

"Then prove it." She pushed the songbook over to me, one eyebrow raised.

"Fine." I flipped through the book, scanning the many choices. Finally settling on one, I grinned at Thene wickedly, scribbled out my request card and turning it in. Even after I returned I'd flash her an occasional malicious smile.

"What are you doing? Why are you looking at me so evilly?" she demanded. I shrugged and sipped my beer. We watched the other singers as I waited for my turn, sometimes laughing, sometimes complimenting them. Thene cheered loudly for everyone both before and after they performed. After an older guy had butchered some country number and she clapped and whistled I wondered aloud about it.

"Why are you going nuts? That guy was pretty bad." Thene looked at me as if I were the crazy one.

"That takes a lot of guts," she whispered. "It's not as easy as you think. Just wait."

"Alrighty, thank you Frank! Next up we have Chad, he'll be doing...well, it says here he wants to surprise us. Come on up here Chad!"

I jogged up to the microphone. Of course, I was completely terrified. I had no idea what I was doing. I could sing, I knew that much. It felt like half my brain was this new Chad man, and the Chandler half was trying to catch up and was constantly asking 'what the hell are you doing you idiot?' I took the mic and cleared my throat. "Ah, before you start the music I have to admit something. I'm up here because the lovely young lady I'm here with challenged me. Now, I have my pride but I'm not crazy, I know there's no way I can top her. Instead, I admit defeat and invite the beautiful miss Thene to grace me with her presence up here. I'd be honored."

The crowd cheered loudly for their little darling, who was grinning widely as she came up. I took her hand, kissing it as the music started. "Now I've had the time of my life, no I've never felt this way before," I began, winking at her. She threw back her hand and laughed, then grabbed the other mic. We belted out the song as loudly as we could, dancing, posing, and generally hamming it up. Everyone loved it and I felt a huge rush of adrenaline. I glanced over at Thene as we took our bows. She radiated beauty.

As we sat back down we laughed, then Thene placed her head on her hand and gazed at me thoughtfully. "You're a nut," she said.

"Birds of a feather," I responded with a smile.

"Good thing too," she murmured.

Suddenly I knew I had to be alone with her and I saw the same need in her eyes. I touched her knee under the table.

"Do you want to go?" I asked. She nodded quickly. I grabbed her hand and we left. We tried to run back to the lodge but the sidewalks were iced over and the whole way home was like an episode of the Three Stooges. At the doors we were laughing so hard we could barely stand. When we finally calmed down I took Thene in my arms and held her.

"You are so beautiful," I said with so much emotion my voice was hoarse. She looked up at me, her eyes shining.

"So are you," she whispered. Thene stayed in my room again that night and needless to say things happened much the same as the night before. I knew maybe one day I'd feel guilt and regret for the things I'd done, after all, I hadn't just been unfaithful physically. Somewhere along the line I'd actually fallen in love. I didn't even want to think about the awfulness of it all, and even if I wanted to I couldn't, that night, holding Thene in my arms, nothing seemed quite as bad.