A/N: I swore I wouldn't but here it is. Damn! Oh well. This AU's too big and sad not to finish, and now I'm wishing I hadn't thought of it at all. Now every time I read a happy fic I'm thinking "Sirius is probably so manically depressed from killing his friends dozens of times while trying to save them, he probably wouldn't even be happy here." And OoP isn't helping, either. I hope JKR publishes a lighter book next time, or we're going to be left with no marauders at all!
Seriously, though. If you liked the first fic and you can leave it at that, just don't read this. It's a happy—even, dare I say, Fluffy—ending, and I don't wanna spoil the mood.
Warnings: Still a bit of a death!fic (and a little more graphic!), and somewhat OOC, but please keep in mind that this epilogue takes place years after Sirius escaped and started with the time-changing thing. It's cannon that Askaban screwed him up, even without its' full effects working, and I assume that watching everyone die again and again must have helped Sirius along. Also, it's actually cannon that enough of the forbidden curses drive people insane: For example, the Longbottoms.
Disclaimer: don't own the song or Harry Potter (& co.). Aren't you glad? Otherwise the series would end up even more screwed up than it's looking!
Start Again-
I don't know if you can hear meI'm feeling down and can't think clearly
Even though it's complicated
We've got time to start again
I don't know if you can hear me.
Some things I'd change but it's too late
I'll take the past and make it straight
Even though it's complicated
We've got time to start again
I don't know if you can hear me.
Even though it's complicated
We've got time to start again
I don't know if you can hear me.
Coming Back
Sirius Black doesn't even put down his pack when he comes to the house, just stands there under the window and watches carefully. He used to climb up to the balcony overlooking the garden and see if the attic room's occupied, but he learned not to bother when he found Harry's room deserted (he had moved to Lupin's when his mother went insane, in that time.) Now, he just checks the paper and asks some questions on the street. People never recognize him as a convict, anyway.
This time he thinks it might just have worked, too. Sirius checked the graveyard as soon as he got here, and there isn't one, so that's a good sign. The Quidditch hoops are in repair, too, he notices. Sirius has been praying for every night in the past few years, (and he doesn't know anymore how long it's been. For all his ease with time, Sirius has no idea how long ago he left Askaban and began this quest) praying for something like this. A future where there are no graves, no madness. Where he doesn't have to kill Remus just to have enough time to turn his little trinket. (That time, he almost gave up. Seeing friends dead is one thing, seeing them trying to kill each other is completely another, and that was the last time he tried to change the long-ago past for the better).
He knocks almost hesitantly, because Sirius is tired and afraid, but the living room looks fine and the newspaper has nothing wrong in it. Voldemort's alive, but that's pretty obvious since Sirius didn't kill him. He's starting to think of the beast as immortal, now. Always comes back.
Sirius waits for a while for the door to open, then gives up and goes out back, climbing up the window the same way he used to climb down with James, trying to escape his parents. Now, he gets up easily and alohamora's the door open, walking in. It's James's parent's old room, but now he can see Lily's cat dozing in the sunshine that spills on the bed, and photographs are all over the walls. Harry's is there, his birthday photo where Sirius can see everyone congratulating him. Even the Weasley boy is there, the one who was dead so often. It's pretty recent, so that gives him something of a hope. Usually, Harry doesn't live this long unless his parents are dead.
He looks around again, thinking that if he can find a photograph of Remus everything would be just perfect. Sirius doesn't think about James and Lily being dead too much, because her cat's here and he saw James' broom in a corner of the living room when he looked through the window. He's a bit afraid for Remus, but if that's all that's wrong he can always go and save him, then come back. Usually things aren't that easy.
There's nothing that says he's dead or alive, so Sirius gives up and goes to find the Potters. He hasn't spoken to them since that time James tried to blast him for being a Death Eater, but this time it looks to be more or less alright. Sirius wonders vaguely what he's like, here. Once he met himself, or rather, saw himself, and it was creepy to say the least. Sometimes he sees notes he leaves himself, not to change some part of reality that's gone horribly wrong. Sometimes they even meet, but never more than a few words are exchanged. He hopes he's not dead or anything, because that always complicates things. Then again, it's the only way to be sure that there's only one Sirius Black in this time.
"Hello?" Sirius doesn't realize how scared he is of failure until he hears his own voice. It's too quiet and too old to sound like him. He repeats himself, louder, and his voice cracks a bit. There are no sounds of movement, and he walks half way down the stairs before realizing that nobody's home. Sirius can see the kitchen from his place on the stairs, and it's as empty as the rest of the house. Disappointed, he walks the rest of the way down and out the door, locking it before exiting and mounting his broom. He had gotten it after leaving Lily and Dumbledore for the first time, along with a clean set of robes and a haircut. Now, after an indeterminable time of traveling, Sirius knows he still doesn't look proper, but at least no one stares anymore.
He flies on, back towards London. The broom came with a little clip-on compass because it was on clearance and the shopkeeper was grateful to be rid of it. Sirius makes use of it now, and soon he can see the outskirts of the city. He lands while still relatively far away, then wonders the streets. It's almost five and Sirius hasn't eaten since he got into this time this morning, so he grabs a sandwich in a little café, along with coffee and soup.
Since that first disastrous return to Diagon Alley, he'd found a time when it was as it should have been, and had remembered to get half his money transferred to muggle before he left Gringotts.
Now he wonders the city, just looking around. It's familiar, because Sirius used to do just this for hours during the summer, when James was at home and Remus was probably locked in his basement again. That was, of course, before he'd escaped from mother completely. Now, it feels just as lonely out here, even with the muggles pressing in on every side. He checks in at the Leaky Cauldron and pops into Diagon Alley, just to make sure everything's ok. The shops all look a little more battered, but they're all there, and there are no more wanted posters of him. Sirius walks back out and wonders some more until a little girl bumps into him. This shakes him out of it, a bit, and he remembers where Harry and Dumbledore are, where the answers are sure to be. Sirius walks towards a particularly large square and summons the Knight Bus, asking for Hogwarts.
He grins when the huge triple-decker appears with a god-awful bang in the middle of the crowd and nobody notices. The driver, he notices, is a kid who couldn't have finished school yet and looked like a tomato with his acne. Sirius waves, suddenly cheered by this normalcy. Everywhere he's ever been, the Knight Bus is there with him.
"To Hogwarts! Or Hogsmead, rather." He counts out the money and then leaves some extra for lemonade (though he's rather disappointed that there isn't any hot cocoa), then settles down on a bench with bedding strapped underneath. Sirius rather misses the bed, because he hasn't slept at all since the last time he visited. Nobody could have slept there, with the god-awful din the sirens were making. Instead, however, he makes do with his cloak as a blanket and pack as a pillow, not paying attention to the sharp objects inside until one pokes him in the eye. After that, he sleeps curled up in the corner.
The kid wakes him about twenty minutes later, holding out his lemonade, which Sirius takes to go; he can see the familiar old-fashioned rooftops of Hogsmead out of the window. He walks out of the bus and onto the busy street it was apparently not blocking. Sirius takes a breath of fresh air, filled with the familiar smells of the various shops, and looks up, straining to see Hogwarts' towers in the distance. Still smiling, he begins to hike out of the main part of town and towards the castle, sipping the lemonade through a neon green straw.
When Sirius reaches the gates, it's around six thirty. His muggle watch stopped working a little while ago, but he barely notices as he takes in the familiar statues flanking the entrance and the gates, open as always. He walks up and doesn't feel as much like a stranger as he expected, returning here after all these years. The last time Sirius came to Hogwarts his uncle was Headmaster and he'd been welcomed as a pure blood.
The hallway is as it always was, down to the students walking around, heading from one class to another. Sirius remembers exactly where to go, but he wishes he had the old map with him anyway, if just to know where Harry is right now.
He walks towards the staircase leading to the second floor, and then down the hall to where Dumbledore's gargoyle still sits, guarding the entrance. The Sirius that left here had always hated the office, as it often meant he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have, but now the familiar statue is almost like an old friend he'd missed. Sirius is so excited at having his dreams confirmed that he doesn't even remember he doesn't know the password until he turns to go up the staircase that isn't there.
Annoyed, Sirius contemplates going to the teacher's lounge to find McGonegal. He's turned around and heading back downstairs when there's shouting behind him.
"There he is! Sirius, stay still!" He looks back, about to go down the stairs to the first floor and sees Remus, running towards him. His robes are in disarrangement and his normally neat hair is wild, but less gray than he'd remembered. Sirius is so happy to see him he doesn't even notice the light of the spell until he's hit and stumbling, unable to control himself. The last thing he sees before he goes over is Remus, outlined in the light coming from the windows on the second floor, looking down at him.
Maybe he's an angel... he looks perfect in the light, Sirius thinks absently, still struggling against the spell while he's falling down the stairs.
He wakes, blinking like some demented owl at high noon. That's what it looks like, from the window that's right beside the bed. Sirius assumes he's still in the castle because the stone walls of the infirmary are familiar. He thinks, vaguely, that he's probably even been on this bed before. He used to get sent up here all the time.
Everything's fuzzy and he doesn't know how he got here, his thoughts are jumbled and his head hurts. Everything drifts by in his head, as if he's drunk, and Sirius just smiles at the sunshine warming his face and lies still, thinking.
I must have fallen or something...god, this is...a spell. A spell, I fell because someone stupefied me right beside the stairs...goddamned James, always with his... He knows he isn't making much sense, because wasn't James dead? He just saw the graves a few days ago. Or was that a few years, and didn't he save James already? No, it was Remus who was dead. That was why he came here, to find out if Remus was dead. Then someone stupefied him and he fell.
...Stairs rushing up, and he can't move because the spell, that stupid...Remus spelled him. No, not Remus. He hasn't seen Remus in so long, and anyway, he'd never really hurt Sirius. It wasn't anyone at all, he must have just fallen. He was so tired, going without any sleep for so long, all those sirens always waking him up.
...The glint of half moon spectacles, Dumbledore who shouted something and Sirius is falling towards the stairs. Remus stupefied him and he fell down the stairs and Dumbledore said something. Oh, but aren't they both dead? Maybe not. Says the voice in Sirius's head that's not drunk or sleepy. They wanted to kill you because you were going to save James. And hadn't that happened before? Hadn't Dumbledore gone mad and tried to kill him before? Yes, in that time when everyone was crazy. The time where he killed Remus.
...All that blood on the floor, Sirius doesn't know how bursting someone's heart could be so bloody...Ah, but it's because Remus is coughing up blood. He didn't burst his heart after all, it must have been that other spell. Sirius learned so many so long ago and now they're all just... Jumbled. It was all so jumbled in his head; he hadn't meant to do anything like that. He hadn't meant to kill anyone, least of all Remus. He'd die for Remus. Just like that. Let him point his wand at me and...
"Sirius Black?" There's a face in front of him, a long, old face with huge glinty eyes. Sirius squints up, still mostly dizzy, and sees glasses. The eyes behind the glasses aren't that big, after all. He's just a little dizzy.
"...Yeah?" he doesn't know exactly, but it looks like Dumbledore behind the glasses. Didn't Dumbledore have glasses? He smiles, and thinks he must look doppy like this, all smiling and...yeah. Sirius hasn't been on anything since before he finished school, or, rather, since before he got thrown in jail. He remembers dressing up and rolling little papers and...
"Sirius? Poppy, I believe he fell and..." There's a jumble, someone's talking, and then Sirius sees a nice old lady that starts putting her fingers in his eyes. He frowns at her and tries to push her off, but that turns out to be pretty hard and he's a little disoriented, so eventually she lets go and starts talking to Dumbledore again. She has a high-pitched voice, a bit like his mother. His mother who said that he was dirty for associating with mudbloods and things. She said some bad things before he ran away. That shut her up. Or maybe she's still talking about him...isn't she too old, now? Shouldn't she be dead?
"Is my mother dead?" he asks, and that's apparently funny, because Dumbledore chuckles and pats his hand.
"Poppy, I think it's best if you get the syrup. I'll look after him for now." Sirius frowns, hoping they're not talking about him. He hates syrup. Muggle cough syrup, yuk. Thank god James always said that pumpkin juice and bed are the best medicine. He could just come over and lie low at his house if Remus wanted to feed him syrup.
"I'm going to James' house." He hopes someone will fly him, or at least help him get up and call the bus. And wasn't James dead?
"Later, my boy, he can come visit you. For now, though, Remus? I believe you can come in now!" aren't they all dead? Is this heaven? God must hate me, I mean, that's pretty bad, giving me a concussion in heaven. He frowns, hoping someone will explain what the hell's going on. Ok, so...James, James isn't dead. Yeah, and Lily's cat isn't dead (was it ever dead? Wasn't she crying because it was?) And Harry isn't dead because his picture's on the wall...and Remus isn't dead, he's coming to see me now. (a ghost! Damn it, he must have really hated heaven. Maybe he just missed us...but then, he isn't dead)...
"Sirius? Are you alright?" there's another face very close to his, and it's a man with big eyes. Sirius stares a bit because they're an amazing shade of hazel. He squints at all the little highlights, and realizes that really they're not hazel at all. There's black and yellow and green mixed up, and inside there's somebody on a white bed. That's his reflection: a man on a white bed.
"Sirius?" the eyes blink and there's a hand, it's moving and Sirius looks at that, too. He doesn't remember Remus's hands much, except that they were pale but not sick-pale, like the rest of him. He can see the bones and the little veins in this hand. It's resting on his arm that's resting on his chest. Sirius blinks at it slowly before thinking that he should probably say something.
"Yes." Because yes is always a good thing to say. If no one asked a question, it sounds like you're agreeing. If they did, well, at least you won't miss out on anything. It's confirmed when Remus smiles at him and pats his hand. Sirius thinks that werewolves must be super hot so they can race around at night stark naked, because his hand feels like a furnace.
"I'm sorry that you fell. Madam Pomprey is getting some syrup and that should help a bit. How do you feel?" his voice is very light, like he's talking to a baby. Sirius remembers that Remus was always talking like this to Harry, too. Quietly and calmly and cheerfully. His smile is very white and...pointy. There are a lot of canines in that mouth.
"Did you put a spell on me?" He doesn't want to think that way, but Sirius remembers something of Remus. A little flash, like a dream. He knows he shouldn't say anything, because didn't he kill Remus? And if he did, why isn't he dead? There was a lot of blood. Sirius tries to stop thinking about that, because he hates seeing Remus hurt and he hates that memory. He looks at the pointy teeth and the eyes and the...nose. It's not a very big nose, and it looks a little funny jutting out of the face like that.
"No. I...that was Dumbledore. I'm sorry we did that Sirius. We were afraid you were going to run away or hurt yourself." He's still talking to Sirius as if he were a baby. Remus frowns uncertainly, then his face is gone. Sirius turns his head and when the dizziness passes he realized Remus only sat down. His hand is still stroking Sirius'.
"I wasn't going to...I was trying to find you. And James. Only I know he's alive, just wanted to find you." He smiles, remembering, as if through a fog, that this is perfect. This is exactly what he was looking for.
"Well, I'm here now. I won't leave anymore. And here's madam Pomprey with your syrup. Sit up, this will help." He feels Remus's arms around him, helping him up. It's a bit strange, being held like a little kid. Sirius remembers that he hasn't touched anyone like this in a long time. He's caught up in feeling Remus's hands on him, and doesn't think about the syrup until it's being shoved at his face by the nurse-looking lady. It looks as gooy and overly sweet as anything, and he thinks it must be poison because of the color: bright, liquidy hot pink.
"Open your mouth, Black. Right. Now." She says in her little squeaky voice. He frowns and starts shaking his head and saying no, but as soon as he opens it to protest the spoon's in his mouth and he's choking. Sirius coughs violently for a while, but the thing is done and when he lied down again, he feels better. The fuzzyness has left, and he misses it a bit, because now he has to think of everything. He misses Remus, but he looks around and there he is. Looks just peachy, too.
"How do you feel now, Sirius?" Remus smiles at him, still doing his best baby talk. Lacking his dizzy, head-muddling fuzzies, Sirius realizes this is the voice Remus always uses when he's either too annoyed for words or just in a very, very good mood. Either way, Sirius isn't happy.
"I'm ok. You're not dead...that's, well, good. I've been time traveling for years to get to this, you know." How many exactly, and whether this is his year or the date of some self-caused catastrophe he was trying to fix is still a little muddled. Sirius gets confused by all this at the best of times, now he has no idea what's going on and knows he won't get it until he looks at the date and his little notebook of calculations.
"God...! Professor, I suppose we can go ahead and call them now. I really think he's getting better..." Sirius doesn't know what they're talking about, but Dumbledore tells Remus to let them all have a chat, first. Sirius is starting to feel like a crazy being held until the people in green come and get him, when Remus stops ignoring him and turns back, smiling with his pretty pointy mouth.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. I was just wandering, how on earth did you ever get out? Were you really that worried? You could have just called, you know. I'm sorry if I made you go to all this trouble to find us." Sirius is really starting to expect the men in green to come for him, any minute now. Maybe he somehow made himself go insane by seeing himself and...ah, well. Too much speculation.
"Remus, what are you talking about? I'm serious. Jesus, I'm just back from saving James' ass from getting A.K'd by Voldemort! Here's my time turner! I don't believe Dumbledore didn't tell you this..." he fishes around in the pocket of his robes, trying to find the trinket, because it's not around his neck. Sirius gets worried when he realizes he doesn't remember actually putting it away.
"Where's my time turner?" he asks, patting himself all over, just to check. Remus just sits there and smiles at him like he's the best thing since sliced bread, and Dumbledore is signing dramatically and shaking his head. Sirius only realizes what's going on when he takes out the time turner and dangles it in front of him by the long silver chain.
"There! See, Remus? I'm from...well, from now, but in my world James was dead and I went to Askaban for murder...you know, right, Dumbledore?" He's getting pretty frantic now, because Sirius isn't used to this reaction. He's used to the disbelieving silence, and the sort of disapproving silence, and the really, really sad silence, but he'd getting the thought that neither of them actually understand him. It's like talking to a wall.
"Dear boy, I think perhaps you need to listen to him. This is not Sirius Black as you know him." Dumbledore pats Remus on the shoulder, and smiles at Sirius, perfectly calm. He puts the time turner back in his pocket as if it's the most natural thing in the world, and Sirius stares after it. He's not used to not having the little thing, and who knows, this time might turn out to be flawed after all. He hasn't even seen James or Harry yet.
"...Sirius, how did you get a time turner?" He stares at Remus, just not understanding. This isn't really how he expected their reunion. James, when they met, always seemed to understand that this was important, Sirius had always assumed that when he made a world where everything was relatively ok, he'd at least find welcome, too. And here is Remus Lupin, smiling at me like I'm insane. What does he care where I got my fucking time turner?
"You're not listening! Wait, alright. Tell me everything about this place. Are James and Lily and Harry alive? I know about Voldemort, but I think I took care of Peter for good now. Just...tell me what this world is like. And for god's sake, stop smiling!" He's mad and he knows it. And that stupid smile is still there. They both sound like they're talking to a five year old. Sirius knows he must be mad or something like that, but... I wish he'd just stop smiling at me and listen.
"Sirius...? Of course everyone's alive. We can even contact James, I've got the mirror right here... Dumbledore, I think he might be coming around, maybe it was the bump...Sirius, you know what happened to Peter?" Dumbledore shakes his head at Sirius, standing behind him so Remus can't see.
"Remus. This is not, I believe, the Sirius Black you and I know. This time turner was in his possession and I believe he is the one who made us aware of Pettigrew's treachery. Sirius, if you are who I believe you are, then you'll be aware that the Potters are all alive thanks to your intervention fourteen years ago. You must be lenient with us all, however, we are not used to seeing you in your right mind." Dumbledore places his hand on the back of Remus's chair pointedly, and Sirius begins to understand a little:
It's not a five year old they're talking to, it's mad ol' Black.
"You believe him!" Remus turns around and starts talking as if he isn't right there on the bed. Listening to the quiet conversation, Sirius wanders what happened to himself, where he is right now. What to do. There couldn't be two of him, but unless this other Black stopped being insane long enough to grab a time turner, go back and save James and forget to come back that would be the case.
"...Sirius? You remember what happened when we made you secret keeper and Voldemort came?" Remus has turned around from his conversation and is watching him. He isn't smiling anymore; in fact, Sirius is disturbed when he sees his friend's expression. The sharp teeth are twisted into a painful-looking half smile, and the eyes look clouded, a little sad and angry.
"How can I? Look, I told you, I came to the past to take care of Pettigrew, and I left. You made me secret keeper for James. Apparently I went crazy at some point. I came here right after I killed Peter...actually; I think I might have stopped to help out when Harry was 12 and saves Ginny Weasly.... How the hell should I know?!" He doesn't mean to shout, but these stupid questions are driving sleepless, hungry Sirius straight up the wall. He regrets it immediately when Remus' face crumples from the little half smile into something even more painful. It looked like he's going to start screaming, too.
"I'm sorry. I'm just very used to being patient, I think. I'm sorry I'm asking all these questions, Sirius." He looks a little sad and defeated, but then the stupid smile is back and Remus is patting his hand again.
"I suppose we won't be calling St. Mungo's, Dumbledore?" Sirius groans and leans back, staring at the ceiling. This wasn't how he'd expected his return to society. Remus turns back, smiles, and asks if he wants anything to eat.
"...No...wait. Yes!" Sirius hasn't eaten since that sandwich earlier today, or rather yesterday. He hasn't noticed how hungry he is until Remus leaves to get something from the kitchen. He regrets it a little when he's left alone with Dumbledore, though. The old man isn't smiling like Remus and that's a relief, but he's frowning and looks a little like he had when he'd attacked Sirius.
He's tried to kill me twice, now... the thought is uncomfortable, because Sirius had always assumed that Dumbledore would be the first to help him, as always. He still doesn't remember too much from his fall down the stairs, but he remembers last time: Dumbledore standing there, very quietly, saying that he has to come here now and give back the time turner. Sirius hadn't of course, because that would mean staying in the time when everyone was dead again, and he'd barely deflected the curse that might have crippled him. Thankfully, he'd only had a few more turns to go before he'd gone back in time and fixed everything, but the few seconds that took were the most hard-earned in his life.
"Do you intend to leave again, Sirius Black?" the voice is very calm, and almost inviting if he doesn't look at the face. Dumbledore looks something between angry and sad, and Sirius realizes that it's so unusual because he rarely shows emotion. He's about to say yes, automatically, when he realizes that this is it. That if James and Remus are alive, and so is Harry and Lily, he has nothing to fix. Everything's perfect. The thought is rather sadder than he'd expected; that the traveling is over and he's free to go on with life. He can stay in this time with Remus and James, and everything would be perfect.
"I guess not. You don't think I'm insane, do you?" the thought bothers him as much as Remus's blank, sad little smiles do. It feels like he's in a room full of strangers.
"No, but frankly, Sirius, I wasn't expecting you to come here to Hogwarts if you ever returned. My knowledge of your travels is very limited, as the spells required to keep time at bay from any records are rather complex, but I believe you. I'm sorry, dear boy, if this welcome seems strange. It's only that no one here had really expected you to be making any sense." Sirius feels very lonely at these words; everything seems so strange, this world he'd created where even Remus doesn't take him seriously. It unnerving, being distanced from his own time as much as any other.
"I just wanted to find you, ask about this place. So...why did I go crazy, anyway?" Dumbledore is about to reply when Remus comes back in with some stew and a cup of something smelly. He puts them on the bedside table and smiles a little emptily at Sirius, sitting down quietly and watching him eat. Sirius is a little unnerved by the silence, and in a corner of his mind, a voice is saying: Why is it so strange? You don't even remember what Remus was really like anymore. He frowns a bit and sips his soup, not looking up. He listens to Dumbledore's familiar, unchanging voice.
"We don't know everything, I'm afraid, but you showed up a few days before James and Lily went into hiding and wouldn't be appeased until we'd subjected Peter to truth serum. He's been branded as traitor and sent to Askaban. You insisted on appointing yourself as Secret Keeper, and this I suppose saved the Potters' lives?" Dumbledore looks at him carefully for a few moments, measuring something Sirius doesn't understand, then continues.
"Whatever the case, you were captured and tortured for several weeks, at which point I had already remade the spell with myself as secret keeper. There was an official rescue party, which used, I believe, blood magic? Was that it, Remus? You were rescued but there was some considerable damage to your mind. Currently, Sirius Black is enrolled as a (most likely permanent) patient at St. Mungo's." He smiles sadly and takes the empty bowl Sirius was staring at, putting it on the table. When he looks up, Sirius notices Remus isn't looking at him.
"So there's what, two of me here now? How does this work?" He's been thinking about this for some time, but the problem never really mattered, until now. Is that even possible, having two of the same person from the same time there at once?
"This is a very unusual situation, dear boy, but theoretic study tells us that when you came to this time your existence pushed the other Sirius Black out of the continuum, or at least, out of this continuum. This is the first case of such travel known to me, but I assure you, this world will not begrudge a second Sirius Black." He smiles and motions for Sirius to start on the cup, which turns out to be some sort of tea, then sits back and steeps his hands together, looking suddenly cold and aloft.
"You are not who you appear to be." Remus' voice seems somewhat colder than Sirius had expected. Looking in his old friend's face he sees that the stupid smile has faded to be replaced with a blankness that is even more disturbing.
"Well, I guess you're not exactly the Lupin I remember, either. That one didn't treat me like a five year old." He doesn't mean to sound so harsh, but the disbelieving coldness after everything seems to only help the impression that has been growing on his mind: You're not welcome here.
"I'm sorry if I offended you, but we have all had good practice in not listening to a word you say and understanding anyway." There's a tiny smile on his face that is the first good expression Sirius has seen from Remus in over 13 years. He remembers the last very clearly, because it was at their private little celebration for Harry. Everyone was smiling because James had given him the baby and Lily was so proud their godfather could handle children. She'd been afraid that he would be too impatient and rough. Remus had smiled right through the whole thing, even when little Harry had grabbed his nose and wouldn't let go.
"Yeah, I can just hear the tales now: 'children, behave or Crazy Black will get you!'" He wants to take it back as soon as he says it, because Remus turns stone cold and Dumbledore looks up. Then he smiles uncertainly and nods, trying to pass off the poor joke. Sirius wants to apologize but he can tell it won't help. He can see the distance between them now, knows all too well that he'll never be able to speak of that past with these houses full of closed doors and shackled windows.
"Sorry. So...how is James? Are you two still Aurors?" He tries to crack a smile, make a proper joke, and Remus echoes the poor attempt right back. Sirius sees the hesitation there: that moment when the stupid, simple smile is back and he's about to lie and say something comforting and safe. Then it's gone and they're just two old friends, talking.
"I'm actually teaching here, Defense Against the Dark Arts. James is still an Auror, he's been made head of his division, and Lily is of course still in St. Mungo's. She's the one who's...looking after you. I mean Sirius. Well...you. The other you." He smiles weakly and shrugs a bit in a gesture that's familiar, gracefully uncertain Remus, straight out of Hogwarts. Sirius thinks about this a bit: that he's a teacher now. Professor Lupin even sounds halfway decent. He tries to grin about it, thinking of their Remus who couldn't control him and James shutting up a class of little brats that all look like 12-year-old Harry.
"Wow! Professor Lupin, is it? Is he any good?" He asks Dumbledore, happy to steer the conversation away from St. Mungo's. The mental image of Lily smiling stupidly and spooning soup into a drool-y, droopy Sirius's mouth is very unnerving.
"I believe the Gryffindors have christened Professor Lupin as 'the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, ever.'" Remus coughs and smiles awkwardly, and Sirius grins. The idea looks kinda good now that the strangeness factor is fading. Professor Lupin! He grins and thumps Remus on the back, almost overbalancing and falling off the bed, trying to reach him.
"I like this choice of profession. Sirius...are you, well, staying here? That is, are you going to time-travel again?" Remus smiles uncertainly and tries to make it easy, but he sounds a little too excited to pass it off. Sirius thinks this over, though he's already decided. A time where Remus is a professor, James and Lily are alive, as is Harry, and himself in no place to kick Sirius out! He continues grinning as he taps his chin in pretend-meditation, then nods solemnly.
"I think this is sufficiently changed from the time I left. Why, any particular reasons you want me gone?" He smiles, only a little, when Remus looks flustered and shakes his head, professing that it would be nice if he stayed. He stares until Remus stops talking and looks blank for a moment, then simply smiles and extends his hand.
"Welcome back to the future, Sirius Black. I imagine this is the most civil welcome you'll receive, after the Potters hear about this!" They shake on it and Sirius looks at the pale hand in his again, smaller than he remembered, stronger, too. Rough and careworn. He remembers the year when Remus's hands looked tiny to him, because he hit puberty late and didn't growth-spurt until their third year.
"Uh...I guess I'll be crashing at your shack until I set up here, or whatever..."
"My 'shack' is in the school, and it only has one bedroom." Remus smiles at him and raises an eyebrow. He looks like a picture out of their seventh year yearbook, smart, with a bit of James' damned sarcasm and something sweet that's perfectly his own.
"It's ok, I'm used to sleeping in odd places!" Sirius says, determined to stay as close to everyone as possible. He conveniently disregards the suggestion.
"That's also a possibility..." They exchange a look and grin, and Sirius swears to get a shared apartment as soon as humanly possible, even if he has to sell his soul for it.
Dumbledore picks up the remains of the lunch and excuses himself, walking out of the little alcove and drawing the curtains. As he walks down the now-empty halls, he creates a tiny portal in the air, the other side of it displaying a private room in St. Mungo's. There are fresh flowers, brought in by frequent visitors, in a vase by the bed. On the same bedside table stands an old copy of a photograph of a graduation party, where four old friends gather together, smiling drunkenly.
There is no one in the room.
Dumbledore cracks a smile, though it is uncertain if this is a sad or happy one, and sends the plates floating towards the kitchen, changing his course to his own private office. Sometimes, he remembers, even the greatest of wizards make mistakes. And sometimes things work out well in spite of themselves.
END
A/N: and there it is. If it's still unclear, then the short version: Sirius makes huge, repeated changes, then catches himself in time and tells whether they worked or not. This is one future he made. Just to clarify: The thing with the room in the end is Sirius's room in the hospital, and he is gone, and probably still insane. Whether he's loose in time or just in London, you decide.
Originally I wasn't going to post this, but someone wanted a sequal. I hope this doesn't disappoint!
Review, everyone! Please!!!