Coincidences

"Sarah, that's wonderful news!" Rose exclaimed as she sat back down on the bed. "When did he arrive?"

"After midnight last night, he said. He didn't want the front desk disturb us so he waited until after breakfast this morning to let us know he arrived. I, of course couldn't wait for him to come up to our room, so I rushed down to his. He looks so skinny and pale, but he's alive and he's home and that's all that matters."

Rose could hear Sarah's deep sigh of contentment and sadness over the wire. She smiled to herself, happy for Sarah and Charlie, but knowing they were feeling the loss of Robert who was buried in France.

"Have you made luncheon plans yet?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, Sarah, actually I have. I ran into an old friend from New Orleans on the boardwalk this morning and we had plans to meet and catch up over lunch. Would you like me to cancel?"

"Oh, of course not Rose, you can meet Doug at dinner," Sarah said, and Rose noticed something odd in Sarah's voice and Rose did not want to believe it was disapproval. "It's probably for the best. I think he would rather settle in quietly. He's already commented on how overwhelmed he feels being back in the United States. He says it's too quiet. I can't imagine what his life must have been like if he considers Atlantic City quiet. I can't wait to get him back home to Illinois and in his own home."

"I'm sure it will do him good to be home," Rose said as she picked at the chenille cover on her bed.

"Why don't you meet us for drinks in the lounge at seven? Jason should be arriving later this afternoon and it will give him time to check into his room and relax a bit before dinner."

Rose said that sounded fine and signed off the call. So the prodigal son had returned. She wondered what he would be like, after hearing stories of him for so many months. Would he welcome her into the fold of his family as his parents did, or would he want her to pack her bags and soon as possible and leave his home? She had to admit she was nervous to meet him and afraid she would fail to make a good impression. She wondered honestly why she would care what he thought of her, it wasn't normally in her nature to worry about what other people thought. But she wanted to be accepted for Sarah and Charlie.

Rose sighed and moved to her dressing table to freshen up. If she didn't hurry, she'd be late for her meeting with Julian and she remembered how much he hated to have to wait.

There was no need to change, so she just reapplied her lipstick before picking up her reticule and taking the elevator down to the first floor. Wanting to make an impression, she walked down the marble stairs to the lobby slowly, relishing the look of hunger that sprung up in the eyes of Julian, and of other men who were sitting at the bottom of the stairs in leather chairs. It was easy to forget she was a beautiful woman when she spent most of her time covered from head to toe with engine grease, so every look of appreciation she received was welcomed.

As she stood on the last step, Julian stood and came towards her. He held out his arm and they walked into the dining room together. The other diners turned towards them while they waited for the Maitre' D to seat them. She was aware of how striking they looked together, it was one of the reasons they worked so well together on the stage. They had an easy chemistry that sometimes bristled with a never named tension.

Rose knew it would not be difficult to fall in love with Julian, if she only she could allow herself. She knew it as plain as the nose on her face when they were together in New Orleans and they shared passionate kisses on stage in character. But back then, she wasn't ready to fall in love with anyone.

What about now? A little voice whispered in her head. She mentally shushed herself as Julian held out her chair for her.

When they were seated by the glass windows with the warm sunshine washing over them from the large glass windows overlooking the ocean, they picked up their menus and Julian asked Rose how long she planned to be in Atlantic City.

"I'm not working here, if that's what you mean," Rose replied, relishing the warmth of the sun on her shoulders as she spread the linen napkin in her lap. "I'm here with Charlie and Sarah Adler who are meeting their son as he returned from the war. I started to tell you about them on the ride to my hotel."

She took a sip from her water glass and looked around at the other diners. "I'll only be here for another two days and then I'll be heading back to Illinois with them."

Julian put down his menu and looked at her squarely. "Rose, you surprise me. I never would have expected you to become so, I don't know," he paused groping for the right word, "domestic."

"Ah, Julian, if you only knew. I'm far from domestic," she leaned forward with a twinkle in her eye. "I've been flying a plane for Charlie running the mail up and down the northern seaboard while his sons were overseas fighting in the war."

"An airplane? Are you one of those barnstormer people I've been hearing about lately? Do you do tricks in the air?"

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not a barnstormer by any means, I don't do shows for money, and Charlie has a government contract to fly parcels of mail from Chicago to New York and Philadelphia. It's all regimented and very straight forward. It's an amazing experience flying so high above the clouds. I'll be sad to let it go."

"So no tricks in the air you could show me, huh? No wing walking or flights of fury towards the ground?" Julian smiled as he pulled a silver cigarette case from the inside pocket of his afternoon jacket. He leaned back in his chair as he opened it and tapped a cigarette lightly on the tablecloth. He offered one to Rose, but she refused, still nursing her lungs from her illness.

"No, I do straight flying. That isn't to say I haven't taught myself a trick or two alone up there in the clouds," said Rose as she leaned back in her chair. Julian lit his cigarette with a match and inhaled deeply, discarding the match in the glass ash tray on the table.

The white coated waiter came by for their drink order and placed a basket of still warm bread on the table. They could see the heat rising from the rolls in misted steam.

"No wonder you beat out of New Orleans as quickly as you did. You had aero planes to fly." Julian said as he exhaled smoke. "Why do you think you would have to give it up? Do you want to give it up?"

"Well, the men are returning from the war. Charlie only has one plane to fly and it belongs to his son who returned from the war. As for wanting to give it up, I don't know. I'm starting to feel restless again."

Julian nodded and flicked his cigarette ashes into the ashtray. "Will you settle down one day, do you think, for good? Get married, have children, a house?"

Rose gave him a half smile as she moved back to allow the waiter to place her glass of wine in front of her. "One day, for sure, but not yet. I still feel there are so many things to see and do. I'm not ready to be tied down. It wouldn't be fair to me and it certainly wouldn't be fair to the person I marry. They would deserve someone who would make them happy and to be able to give themselves fully. I don't feel I would be ready to do that yet, I have a hard time pleasing myself, as you well know."

Julian nodded as he sipped his scotch. "Well, Rose, it certainly sounds as if you know what you're doing. Why should you marry if you aren't ready? I wish my parents would get that fact through their thick skulls. They love to tell me about how it was in the past, how marriages were arranged and how I should feel lucky they are giving me a choice in marriage," he sniffed sarcastically.

"As if what they were doing wasn't trying to arrange a marriage for me. They want to live my life as it was in the old ways, not wanting to embrace the fact times are changing."

Rose smiled slightly as she picked a roll from the stack, remembering with a slight pang she was now an orphan. "I suppose I just haven't found the right man yet."

"Oh how you wound me! You certainly are a heart breaker, young Rose."

"You can't mean that, Julian," Rose put down her glass. "I've never tried to give anyone the impression I was anything other then just me. I never played men for their affections, you know that."

"Of course I know that Rose, but you, my sweet, you just need to be Rose and men flock around you. You're an incredibly beautiful woman with quite the mystery surrounding her. Men want to learn all about you."

"You mean they want to possess me and I can never allow that. I would never allow that."

"Not all men want to possess you, my Rose and I can't imagine what the men you must have been entangled with in the past were like to believe all men are like that. I'm sure your husband wasn't like that or you never would have married him. No one would ever be able to count you as one of their possessions; you would wither away and die."

Rose felt a flush heating up her neck at the reminder of the false husband she had given Julian and Philippe. "So you weren't serious when you asked me to marry you?" Rose asked.

"Oh, yes, I was serious. I had been in love with you from the moment I laid eyes on you," Julian said as he stubbed out his cigarette. "What I would have done if you said yes, well then, that would have been quite the quandary."

They paused in speaking as the waiter came over again for their lunch orders.

"What do you think looks good today, Rose?" Julian said as he picked up his menu to peruse again.

"Well," Rose began, "I think I would like to start with the hot consommé and then the walnut loaf. For my entrée, I believe I will try the roast sugar cured ham with walnut dressing. I would like the carrots and sautéed potatoes with that." She smiled up at the waiter and he smiled back at her, caught off guard by her beauty.

"I believe I will have the same, my good man," Julian said as he took Rose's menu and laid it on top of his. He lifted them up and clicked them together on the table before handing them to the waiter.

When he was gone, Rose sipped her wine slowly, trying to wrap her mind around what Julian admitted to her. "You were not in love with me. How could you have been? I think I would have noticed something in all the years we were together."

Julian laughed. "My love, I'm an actor. I thought if I feigned indifference, it would make you flock to my side. Little did I know you were not a normal woman who thrived on men who acted foolish in that way."

"Now I know you're joking," Rose said as she clasped his hand across the table. He might have been in love with her a little bit, but Julian was much too in love with himself to truly fall deeply madly in love with anyone.

"What about you, I take it you are no longer engaged to Joan?"

"Her name was Julia and no. She ran away and eloped with Gus, the stable hand. Good thing she did too, because there was no way that marriage would have been a success. Could you imagine the engraved wedding invitations, Julian and Julia? It made my teeth hurt, it was so sickeningly sweet," Julian raised his glass in mock tribute to his cousin and her husband. "I wish her much happiness though, where ever she may be."

"Your parents must have been mortified."

"Not as badly as hers, I would presume. I can't imagine my parents inviting them over for Christmas dinner this year, do you?"

"You're their only son, Julian. Are they planning another wedding for you?"

Julian paused to pull out another cigarette and lit it before answering. The chatter from the other tables grew louder as a large afternoon party came in and was seated not far from them. Julian looked at Rose levelly, as if trying to decide how much to tell her. He inhaled a few times and finally came to a decision.

"After many evenings of silent treatment, whereas they acted as if it were MY fault she eloped," Julian leaned forward and whispered, "even though I did give him the keys to my car and a thousand dollars to start their life together, but my parents will never need to know that, right?"

Rose laughed as the waiter brought their first course, consommé.

"My father gave me until I'm thirty five to find a suitable bride on my own. On three conditions, of course," Julian moved back so the waiter could place his soup in front of her. "She must be from a good family, wealthy and Catholic, like us. Although I would hardly count myself as a good Catholic. I can't even remember the last time I went to mass and the idea of confessing ALL of my sins to a priest is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat. But I don't think it should take too long to fill those requirements, what do you say?" He smiled bitterly and Rose was at a loss for words.

"I didn't think so either," Julian continued. "So if I survive to my thirty-fifth birthday unable to meet the conditions set, I have to marry a woman of my father and mother's choosing and then strive to get her with child and continue the Packard line. If I refuse, well then, I'm cut off. Nada, zilch, no money for wee little Julian. My cousin Raphael inherits everything."

Rose shuddered inwardly for him, thinking back to the weekend she spent at Julian's family antebellum mansion on the Mississippi River and meeting his cousin Raphael. "Oh Julian, you can't allow that worm to inherit. He'll lose everything your family has worked so hard for within the year."

Julian nodded in agreement. "I hate the little bugger. At least my father has the good sense not to tell him or he'd probably be plotting to be rid of me as we speak. It's too bad you stabbed the little scoundrel in the hand that wonderful evening at dinner, until then the only fault my parents found with you was that weren't from the south," his voice deepened and drug out the syllables, becoming a harsher parody of his own accent..

Rose put down her spoon, the silver clattering against the china bowl.

"He stuck his hand up my skirt right there at the dinner table! He was so drunk and I was placed alone at the end of the table with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. I had no choice."

"I know, my love, I know," Julian said as he drained the last of his drink. He signaled the waiter for another and smiled slyly at Rose. "The dinner party certainly came alive when Raphael screamed like a girl and fell backwards in his chair," Julian smiled wistfully. "I still like to replay that memory over and over in my mind."

But Rose's smile faded as she no longer heard Julian's voice. She was caught off guard by the one person she was hoping to avoid for the remainder of her stay here. Over Julian's shoulder she spotted her unknown Samaritan standing alone at the Maitre D's podium. The Maitre D gestured into the dining room behind him and Rose felt her savior's eyes slide over the dining room. Biting her lip, she glanced down quickly, wanting to avoid his notice. Her breath quickened and her face flushed again unwillingly.

Julian watched her reaction silently and turned to look behind him while she was looking at the table. "Rose, is everything alright? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

Rose shook her head. "No, not a ghost, just someone I was hoping to avoid for the rest of my time here at the hotel. It's inevitable, I suppose, I will run into him again at some point," she sighed and looked up, but the stranger was gone.

Julian leaned forward in his chair and took Rose's hand. "What is going on?" He asked her gently as he looked in her eyes. "Did this person hurt you in any way? Just let me know who he is and I'll take care of him for you."

Rose looked up and Julian and was warmed by the concern she saw in his eyes. "No, Julian, he didn't hurt me in any way. In fact, he saved my life."

Julian looked at her with confusion in his eyes. "Then why are you –"

"Reacting this way?" Rose took a deep swallow of her wine and tried to arrange her thoughts. "I guess I should tell you the whole story, you deserve that much for being such a good friend to me all of these years."

The waiter came to take their soup course away and another waiter brought them their next course right after their bowls were whisked away. She welcomed the delay, trying to decide how much to tell Julian, how to explain the lies she had told him so many years ago.

"When I met my," she paused and then to decided to continue letting him believe she was married at one time, "husband, I was on a trip in Europe with my mother and fiancé."

"Your fiancé at the time was not the man you married? What a scandal in society that must have caused," Julian smiled, warming to story.

"No. As a matter of fact, no one in society ever learned of him." Julian sat back, momentarily rebuffed.

"I met him in England, at the end of our four month journey. It was a whirlwind courtship and I was not happy with the man my mother picked out for me to marry. When my husband and I eloped, it was right before we sailed home on Titanic."

"Oh dear Lord, Rose. You where there? On the maiden voyage of the ship they said was unsinkable?" Julian's face registered shock as he threw back the rest of his scotch. "I think I'll need another drink for the rest of this story," he said as he motioned to their waiter for another drink. When the boy came over, he ordered another drink for Rose, too. "Liquid courage, my love. I think we're both going to need it."

Rose smiled gratefully and finished the wine in her glass. "The night I finally dredged up the courage to tell my mother what we had done, well, that was the night Titanic sank. As you can imagine, neither she nor my fiancé took the news very well. They were both enraged, especially my fiancé." Rose couldn't believe she was skirting so close to the truth with what she was telling Julian. She would never give up his name thought, she still felt so very protective of Jack and their short time together.

"When it became known the ship was doomed, madness erupted, as you can quite well imagine and as I'm sure you've heard from the witnesses who survived. My husband and I used this to our advantage to escape my mother, my fiancé and his valet. We were still on the ship as it began the last descent into the ocean, clinging to the railings on the stern," she closed her eyes, remembering the feeling of terror from that evening once again.

"As the stern with us clinging to it slipped under the water, we let go and shot towards the surface. I lost him for a moment in the pandemonium of all the bodies in the freezing water, but then somehow we found each other again and swam away from the screaming and thrashing people."

"Dear God, Rose. Never did I imagine..." Julian trailed off as their drinks were brought to the table.

"My husband found a wardrobe door floating in the water, but it would only withstand my weight. I lay on it and he lay in the water, holding onto my hands. By the time a boat came back to look for survivors, the screams and yelling had all but died down," Rose was no longer seeing the dining room or even Julian. "It was just me and him, I thought. He made me promise to never let go, to live, but when I tried to awaken him to let him know a boat was coming, it was too late and he was gone. In order to save myself I had to break my hand free of his grasp. I had to let him go."

"You don't have to tell me anymore, Rose," Julian said, his voice and hand shaking as he took another cigarette from his case, but Rose didn't hear him.

"Just after daybreak, we were rescued and I decided to allow my mother and fiancé to believe I was lost that night too. But I survived and now had to find a way to live on my own. I was a widow after only being married for a few days, but I was determined to survive on my own, on my own terms."

"I wish you had trusted Philippe and I with this years ago, Rose," Julian said softly and there was a critical tone to his voice.

Rose came back to herself and looked deeply into Julian's blue eyes. "I'm not telling you this so you can pity me, Julian Packard. I'm telling you this so can understand why I did what I did last night and why I'm so embarrassed to see my savior again in the light of day."

Julian nodded and Rose reached for his cigarette case. She fumbled one out and lit one, inhaling shallowly, letting her lungs become used to once again to the intrusion of nicotine. "Last evening as I was looking through a newspaper from my hometown, I discovered my mother had passed away. I wanted to say good bye in a way I felt was fitting so I walked out on the jetty past the Millionaire's Pier. I was not in the greatest state of mind, I now know, and as I stood there at the end of the rocks, the tide came in."

"Rose, you weren't, you weren't going to?" Julian said, unable to finish his thought.

"No." Rose said sharply, inhaling a puff of smoke again. "But my savior thought the same thing as you and followed me out onto the jetty, trying to lure me back to the boardwalk. I was very rude to him, not realizing as he did the waves could come up over the rocks at any time and push us both into the ocean, which is exactly what it did do. Only his quick thinking saved both of us from drowning or freezing to death, which is why I'm so embarrassed to see him again. I almost killed us both, just because I was so damn impulsive and thought it would be dramatic to stand at the foot of the Atlantic Ocean and say good bye to my mother."

"Rose, your unpredictability is one of your finer attributes. It's what makes you so attractive."

Rose stared at him with burning eyes, her mood turning rapidly to anger. "My unpredictability has already gotten one man killed and almost claimed another last night!" Her voice rose sharply and she closed her eyes as diners around them looked up at her in surprise.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to your husband, Rose."

"Why can't I? If he never met me, he'd probably be alive today." Her mouth was suddenly filled with the taste of bitterness and her throat ached with defeat.

"Did you buy him passage on Titanic?"

Rose shook her head silently as an old familiar inner torment began to gnaw at her. "No, he was an American and had already planned to voyage home on that ship."

"Rose, I wasn't there, but I can't imagine you had anything to do with his death that night. For all you know, he would have died anyway. You can't continue to blame yourself."

Rose laughed, but it held no humor. "That's easier for you to say, Julian. You've never been through something like this. You don't know how it feels to survive, when so many other people perished."

"No, you're right, I don't. But I don't like to see you in pain and I'm sure your savior would understand if you just told him it felt right to stand there last night and say good bye to your mother. He doesn't need to know the full story, although I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me. Now put out that cigarette before it sets the table cloth on fire."

Rose's hand jerked convulsively as she realized how close the burning ember of the cigarette was close to burning her hand and the table. "Sheesh, I can't even smoke right." Rose said quietly, stubbing the cigarette out and looking up to Julian, thankful once again he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Have you ever talked to anyone about this before?" Julian asked.

Rose shook her head. "Honestly, you're only the second person I've met who knows I was on Titanic that night. Please, don't tell anyone else, it's a very private, personal experience I went through."

Julian nodded as he thumbed his nose and looked towards her, his eyes burning once again with intensity. "You're secret is safe with me, but you can't allow what happened to hold you back any longer, Rose. I know it was a tragedy and I know it must have been horrible to live through. But you did live through it and you keep allowing the memories of that awful night to make you wish you hadn't. That needs to stop. I know it sounds easier then it must be, but Rose, you have to let it go."

"I know that, which is why I was on the jetty last night in the first place. It just seemed the perfect place to say good bye to all of it, my mother and Ja-, I mean my husband."

If Julian noticed her slip, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Did you do it?"

"What? Say good bye? Yes, actually I did. Even know, telling you the story today, my heart doesn't feel as if it's being squeezed in a vise as it usually does whenever I think of it. I will never forget it, I can't, but I may be able to accept why I was there and come to some realization about why I survived. I know in my heart it wasn't my fault that he died or that so many others innocent people died that night. But telling my head that is a totally different thing, especially when I sink into melancholy. I seem to want absolution for what happened, even though it wasn't my fault it happened. Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does. Rose, you went through an intense traumatizing experience. The fact you are here sitting with me is a testament to your will to survive."

"When did begin to analyze people, Julian? Have you been reading more of the Freud works I had given you in New Orleans?"

"I must say, the man has an interesting way at looking at the human psyche. Is everything sexual with him?"

Rose could only smile slightly at Julian's comment. "Sometimes I feel as if I'm such a vagabond or a ne'er do well. Why does it seem I can never do anything right?"

"Honey, you can do wonderful things right, which is one of the reasons I asked you here to our little luncheon," he said, watching her carefully as she picked up her fork to try her entree.

"Oh?"

"Do you remember Roderick Kincaid from our theatre days?"

"Of course, he was a major player for the LaSalle Theater Group. He tried to lure us away from the Theatre des Orleans many times."

"Well, he's here in Atlantic City. I had dinner with him two nights ago and your name came up, which makes it an even more amazing coincidence when I ran into you on the boardwalk this afternoon."

"What do you mean, my name came up?" Rose said as she put down her fork.

"He remembered you and wanted to know if you were still acting. He's putting together a group to study with the Comedie Francaise in Paris this spring. He asked me if I would like to join them and when he thought about whom else spoke fluent French who could also act, he remembered you and said it was a shame no one had heard from you in so long, he wished he could invite you along too."

As casually as she could manage, Rose took a sip of her wine. "Is this for real, Julian?"

"Well, you would have to meet with him again of course, but I was under the impression you would not have to audition for a place in the group, he wanted to invite you on the strength of the performances he had seen in New Orleans."

Rose could not believe her good fortune. Here was the opportunity she was searching for to travel and explore the world. It almost seemed too good to be true. "What about the pay? And who pays for the travel accommodations and lodging when we're there?"

"Ah, Rose, I love the practical side of your personality. All expenses are paid. The tour is for one year, we work six days a week, with a public run after six weeks. After the public run we are allowed two weeks off before we start it all over again. What do you think? Will you go?"

Rose bit her bottom lip as an overwhelming feeling of rightness over took her. "Are you going, too?"

Julian nodded as he watched her carefully, watching as her air of calm and self confidence flooded back into her face.

"Paris, in the springtime?" Rose smiled, showing perfect white even teeth. "How could I refuse?"