Haunted

Chapter Four: Ultimate Sacrifice

Ritsuko sighed and buried her face in her hands. "Because...if Shinji dies.....the Angel dies too...."

"What the hell?!'" Misato screamed, grabbing roughly onto the collar of her white jacket.

Ritsuko shook off her hands. "It wasn't my choice...." she whispered with a pained expression on her face.

"What the hell kind of shit is this? They can't let Shinji die! He's just a kid for god's sake! How can they make such a horrible decision? There has to be another way!" Misato ranted unable to believe that this was really happening.

Ritsuko's eyes were saddened. "We don't know what else to do. If Shinji recovers then the Angel will start attacking again...If we try to destroy the Angel...then Shinji dies...This was all I could to keep them from outright killing him!" There was an evident amount of stress in her tired voice.

Misato's heart stopped. "You mean...his own father...wants to KILL him?!" Tears were coming to her troubled eyes as she stared down at the pale figure lying in the bed, so helpless and alone. Suddenly she remembered his remorseful words...

"What do you mean..........I've always been alone......."

"Shinji! No, this can't be happening!" Misato screamed as she collapsed on to the bed on top of his fragile comatose body. She began to sob uncontrollably, burying her face into the sheets of his bed. "I WON'T let you...you're not going to die...no...He wasn't there for you...but I am...I'm right here...Right by your side...all the time..." Misato couldn't keep her voice from trembling.

Ritsuko's decisive voice rang through the sad silence that followed Misato's emotional pledge. "Misato...I don't like to be so blunt in situations like this...but there's nothing you can do..." Ritsuko informed laying a sympathetic hand on her shaking shoulder. "I wish I had words to comfort you, but I don't...I just can't see a way out of this..."

Misato's mind boiled and she slapped away Ritsuko's unwanted hand. "Don't lecture me on what I can and can not do. I know damn well how to get through tough times. I tell you this, I WILL save Shinji and destroy the Angel! I will figure this out.... even if....even if... I have to fight the whole fucking world to stop it!" she screamed, her hand going to Shinji's to grip it tightly.

Ritsuko was silenced. "I'll leave you to watch over Shinji. I'm afraid though...if he wakes up..." she didn't finish, but Misato already knew it. As soon as Shinji woke they were going to kill him. She had to get Shinji out of here. No matter what the price she was going to get Shinji out of this one alive. She didn't care what she had to do...she would do it.

I never realized how much I cared for you Shinji. You were always so quiet and did like I said. Not one compliant. I don't think I will ever meet someone like you again. So scarred from their past, but still managing to go on even through the loneliness. You were just like the little brother I never had...just like the son I will probably never....and a true friend that I could only hope for in my wildest dreams. I owe it to you. I swear somehow that I will save you...I will care for you and love you even if your father doesn't...You'll never be lonely again.That I promise you.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................

I don't know where I am. I am still in the darkness except the voice seems to have gone oddly silent. I called out a few times, but it did not answer. I'm so confused...my memories floating across my vision in a torrent of scattered recollections. It's so cold here...and silent...so terribly silent...

Wait...I hear someone...Not the Angel...but it sounds like....Misato! She's crying. I can hear her crying. Why is she crying?

"Shinji! No, this can't be happening! I WON'T let you...you're not going to die...no...He wasn't there for you...but I am...I'm right here...Right by your side...all the time..."

Am I dying? Is this really what dying is like? Oh Misato...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.

"That woman truly does care for you." says that voice again.

The voice...it's back again...Can it hear my thoughts? "Yes." If only father cared for me...father....

"And yet...your father does not?" it asks.

"How did you know?!" Can this Angel really know what I am thinking?

"I do not know. That is why I asked. From what I have seen of your memories your father is a Commander for NERV. He abandoned you, did he not? He left you. Why are you working for him? Are you ready to stoop so low as to beg from a father who has hated you all your life?" it taunts.

How can it know all this? "What are you saying? How can you know all this?! Leave me alone! You don't know the first thing about me!"

"But I know everything about you. I AM you, we are ONE. Your pathetic existence has now become something bigger than your infinitesimal heartbeat on an immature planet that needs to be cleansed of its horrible disease. You are worthless without me. You are trash, garbage that needs to be disposed of properly. Once I have stripped every last bit of information from your embryonic brain, you will once again become the scum that you are." it yells.

That voice...it sounds angry all the sudden. Why it is saying such things...I don't understand...I just want it to go away...but it wants to use me...It wants to look deeper into me. I have the feeling that its been trying to find something within me and it can't so it has grown annoyed. Are these Angels capable of such feelings? This is crazy...lunacy...someone get me out of here.

"There is no escape for you. Tell me where it is! Tell me now!" it screams.

"I don't know what you're talking about though!" What the hell is this thing talking about? Whatever it is...I am NOT going to give into it. Misato...I hope you can do something...because I don't know how long I can hide from something...that is part of me...

....................................................................................................................................................................................

Misato ran through the gloomy gray halls, Shinji dangling in her arms wrapped up in only his blanket and her coat. He was shivering in his sleep, his eyelids moving rapidly in what Misato could only guess as being a terrified dream. Her own heart was beating rapidly. She had to get out of here unseen. She didn't know where to go though. Where could she hide where she could get some proper medical attention for Shinji?

Shinji's wounds, which had only been bandaged, began to leak blood again and Misato almost became hysterical, but her training in emergency situations had paid off and she managed to keep her head cool. I have to get him somewhere soon. I don't think he can last much longer like this.

"Misato?!" she heard a male voice call anxiously from across the hall. "What are you doing?!"

She turned around to see that it was only Kaji. "Kaji, I need you to help me! I need somewhere to hide!"

"What? Shinji?! What's happening? Tell me Misato?" Kaji said worriedly as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"They....they.....they're going to kill him!" She stammered, choking on her tears.

Kaji gently took Shinji from her arms. "C'mon. I'm getting you two out of here. This place has gone to hell."

Misato sighed and managed to get herself back under control. "That's right. Let's go!"