This is another re-upload. I tried to edit some stuff from the first time because even I found it sort of confusing to read. I'm not sure it it made a difference though.........

Author's notes: I disclaim any ownership and copyright infringement to Evangelion. Original story of Neon Genesis Evangelion is by Hideki Anno and is produced by Gainax.

This is during the First episode. This is about that made Shinji fight with the Eva even when at the beginning, he was really against it. I know that there were many reasons, but the title I used sort of focuses more into the beginning relationship between Shinji and Rei. Also I'd like to add that I haven't actually seen the very first episode so, this'll most likely be inaccurate. I write stories about eps. I haven't seen because that way I can make my own conversations and choose my own way to present things. But I still try to make the events correspond as much as possible.

blah = voices in Shinji's mind. It's like he's replaying the conversations that already happened in his mind.

" blah" = conversation during the present, or out of Shinji's mind. Most of the time, it'll be Shinji talking to himself.

Something at First Sight

Shinji wanted to run as fast as he could. He didn't know that this is what would happen if he came. All he knew was that his father summoned him. With the hopes that maybe his father needed him, wanted him, was enough to make him come. But he didn't know this would happen. One thing he knew, as soon as he saw the monster they called 'Angel', was that he would run. What do they want from him? There's nothing he can do.

Prepare Evangelion Unit 01, he's here. A voice came into Shinji's mind as he replayed what had happened. The voice was Dr. Akagi's.

What? You don't mean Shinji do you?


Of course! Why else were you ordered to go to so much length to retrieve him? So he could be a human ornament?




But he hasn't even been inside one! The First Child took three months just to get her sync ratio high enough to get Unit 00 to move!



We have no other choice!



Just as Dr. Akagi said this, the purple haired woman sighed in defeat.

Shinji was on his way to the train station, ready to run, when Dr. Akagi's words 'We have no other choice!' kept repeating in his mind. He HAD a choice; it's a selfish one, but it was still his choice. As he walked, he mumbled onto himself, what would become his trademark words, "I'm sorry." over and over.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't. I'm going to die if I do."

We'll all die if you don't. We have everything to lose! Dr. Agaki's voice came to his head again.

"I can't..... if I go, I'll die and it'll be my fault for losing. If I don't go then everyone will die and it'll be my fault for running."

Then why run? We may have a chance of winning! You just have to try!



"I have to try? I can't. I have to run!"

Let him run. If the Third Child doesn't want to do it, don't force him. A man's voice entered the conversation played out in his head.

"Father......."

We don't need him. He's just an alternative.



But the First Child is injured and the Second is in Germany!



It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. Bring in Rei Ayanami! If he doesn't want to do it, she can handle it. She would do anything for me.



Dr. Akagi was about to protest but she knew his words were final.

"I don't matter. I'm not worth anything...... I was never, ever worth anything to anyone. He can't even call me by name; always Pilot Ikari, or Third Child."

The image of a bandaged body covered with scars and wounds brought in by a stretcher, entered his mind. He winced just at the thought at her.

I'm ready



Was this the first child? He remembered the appearance of a girl during the attack in the shelter when he was waiting for his escort. She appeared, blue, pale, and almost transparent, then quickly disappeared as quickly as she came. Was she the same person?

"Ayanami...."

She's in no condition to fight! Dr. Akagi, tried one last time to persuade her commander.

It doesn't matter.



"She was so battered. I couldn't believe she would still ride the Eva in her condition. She has the courage that I will never have." He arrived at the train station and sat down on a bench waiting for it to arrive. "She's the kind of person that's irreplaceable. Important. To anyone. Especially for my father."

He remembered staring right into her crimson red eyes. He felt...... something when he looked at her, but he didn't know what. Although what bothered him was its lack of emotion and the iris were small, like mere dots, as if she was not even conscious. But she spoke, as quietly as it was, she spoke, which meant she was awake. She knew what was happening. His eyes traveled down from her eyes, to the bandage that covered her left eye, and then to her clothes. She wore a worn down school uniform. It was torn and ripped. He saw the bandage on her arms and on her torso.

He felt a sort of pity for her as he looked down at her. It also made him feel bad about himself. There he was, in perfect condition; a coward. And there she was, bruised and limp; loyal, brave, and determined. It said a lot about her personality. His gaze went back to her eyes as he stared deep into it as if looking for her soul. He tried to read her emotion.

"What was she thinking? I couldn't tell." He crouched as he sat, waiting for the train that would never really come. "I couldn't find her soul after all."

As he looked deeper and deeper, the Angel could wait no more. Inside NERV, the structure began to shake. Debris fell from the ceiling and was about to fall onto the children. There was no one to save them. At the time, he thought that he would die even before he could run. Or even before he could try. Time seemed to have slowed down for them, as if to give someone time to rescue them. Anyone. Anything.

Another sound of rumble began, but at that time, it wasn't caused by external conflict. Something big was moving from the inside. Shinji began to run towards the wounded girl and went on top of her to shield her from harm. He looked down on the ground waiting for the impact. But as slow as everything seemed to be, it never came. Instead, he saw a shadow, as looked at the floor, of what seemed like a giant hand. He dared to separate himself from the girl to look up.

"Unit 01....."

Everyone was confused.

How did that happen? It was the deep but calm sound of Commander Ikari's voice. Has the dummy plug been installed?



No..... That was Dr. Akagi's short reply. She couldn't explain it.

Shinji couldn't explain it. Something or someone inside wanted to protect him. At the time, although he didn't know it yet, but he had already made up his mind.

"What am I doing?" He looked at the palm of his hand as he sat on the bench, waiting for the train at the platform. "Am I to ever have a purpose? Am I ever to have meaning to my father? Will I ever see her again? Will someone ever remember me?"

Just then he looked up at the sound of....something. He reluctantly stood up, at the thought that he will finally be able to leave. However, the same sound was made and he finally registered in his mind that it wasn't the sound of a train. He ran towards the end and at the edge of the platform, where there was a fence overlooking the outside of the station. What he saw was the same car that brought him here and the same woman that brought him here. He put his face against the fence, face filled with fear. Then he turned away, ran, and disappeared from the woman's view. Without a moment's wait, he appeared and stopped right in front of the driver's window.

"Major Katsuragi......"

They stared at each other's eyes. Everything was silent as if the sounds were turned off. But words were not needed. He turned his eyes away and simply walked to the other side and inside the passenger's seat. And as soon as he closed the door, the car sped into the horizon.

He didn't realize it, but they arrived at NERV faster than expected. And as soon as he arrived, he was inserted inside the entry plug and was launched to face the Angel.

He breathed in what seemed like yellow liquid. And as he did, he felt....something he recognized. It was a feeling he remembered. As feeling of a person he has yearned for. He felt her inside as if she was with him. He was afraid more than ever, but at the same time, he felt secure. Protected.

"Mother......."

Well, if you're all the way down here already, you must have read the story, right?So if you have............ thanks for reading!