Disclaimer: We the Wackos don't own a gosh darn thing in this fic.
Chapter 4 (Jez's writing *gasp* oh my god, she finally wrote something.)
"So, now what?" Jez demanded, gazing at the odd foliage covering the canopy of their forest retreat.
"Umm, I don't know." Matt answered, being his usual dumb self.
"Hey, I think he's waking up." Kana said excitedly.
"Quien esta aqui? Quien esta aqui?" Jorge sputtered out so rapidly that even Kana had trouble understanding him.
Matt stared at Jorge in shock trying to figure out what the Spanish drunk just said.
Meanwhile, Jez was laughing hysterically at Matt's lack of knowledge in the Spanish language.
"Jorge," Kana said soothingly, "You have to speak in English, otherwise Matt won't be able to understand you."
"Isn't that a good thing." Jez stated, "I mean it's a perfect opportunity to confuse Matt."
"But Jez, Matt's a fellow wacko, we have to be at least a little bit nice to him."
"No we don't."
She was about to object, and her hand went up with staccato movements before pointing at Jez, "True." Turning to Jorge, "Never mind, speak in whatever language you desire."
Jorge began to speak Elvish.
"You know Elvish!?!?!" Squealed Kana as she glomped[1] him, "Teach me!!!!"
Jez took this opportunity to play "William Tell" with Matt. Or, at least her version of the game.
"J-Jez? What are you d-doing?" Matt stammered nervously.
Grinning maniacally Jez replied, "Just calm down and trust me."
"Trust you!?! You've cut my head off before!"
(This part was added by Matt to fix a small mistake that Jez originally made when she typed it up)
Narrator: WAIT A MINUTE YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!
"Why not?" asked Matt.
Narrator: IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TILL THE HOGWARTS FIC!!!!
"Hey!! Now you've spoiled the secret of the fourth Wacko fic you idiot."
Narrator: SO WHAT!!! WHILE I'M AT IT I'M GOING TO SPOIL THE FUN AND TELL THEM ABOUT THE THIRD FIC.
"You wouldn't"
Narrator: I WOULD!!! IT'S CALLED..
"Shut up!!!! Both of you. I fix it any ways." Jez yelled
(Back to original)
As Matt continues to whine and complain about all the injustices done to him over the years by the hand of Jez, she tuned him out preparing her various weapons.
"Ready?"
"No! Do you know how much my insurance is going to cost after this?"
"Your parents pay for it. And besides if I miss, it's not like you'll have anything to lose."
Matt looked down, and squeaked. After being tied up to a tree and an apple pinned between his legs; things weren't looking too good.
"Only a girl could get that high, Matt. Sheesh, not I can get my voice that.unless I'm watching anime. At any rate. One." Bow is ready, Matt trembles.
"Two."
Evil grin, Matt really begins to shake.
"Three!"
Arrow is shot, neatly imbedding itself in Matt's.actually it didn't hit Matt at all, but it didn't hit the apple either. Rather it buried itself in the tree bark in-between the top of the apple and the bottom of, this author won't go there, it would be giving Matt too much credit for something he doesn't even have, stupid fairy-boy.
Realizing everything was silent Matt was brave enough to open an eye enough to see the end result. Immense relief washed over his face, only to be replaced with some form of anger. "It is against Wacko hierarchy to harm another Wacko in any physical way shape, and/or, form in the context of a story!"
Jez looked up from her current occupation of checking the balance and sharpness of her throwing knives. "Wacko hierarchy? What kind of bull are you talking about now?" Rolling her eyes Jez's attention went back to the blades.
Matt's face was turning a healthy shade of red, quite a dramatic difference from the pale frost tone it had held only a few moments ago. He struggled against the restraints binding him to his torture stake, but in vain. "I am the second Wacko! I outrank you!"
Jez's cool glance didn't deter him; stupidity knows no boundaries.
"Kana and I decided that a long time ago. We both outrank you!" he continued, "So untie me, now!" His breathing was heavy, and somehow Matt's face managed to form a believable scowl.
A definite thud next to his ear wiped the glower away, shock replacing it as Jez's blade landed inches from Matt's head. "Is wussy boy to weak to get out himself?" She taunted, "And since when have I ever cared about rank? And." She cut off Matt's inevitable protest by waving a second blade threateningly. "Where was I when you established the 'Wacko hierarch'?"
"It doesn't matter, I outrank you. You cannot hurt me! It would violate the Wacko Code of Wackiness. It's in the unwritten rules."
He had her there. Silently Jez debated over what to do. She couldn't just let him go, that would take out all the fun of it, not to mention make her look like she had a heart, or even.emotions. She shuddered at the thought, no, she couldn't let him go. But she couldn't hurt him either. The unwritten rules.curse them.
Suddenly, it dawned on her. What if she didn't actually hurt him physically. But freaked him out a little, okay a lot. And what was she thinking, she was Jez was she not? It was stated in the unwritten rules that if she so desired she did not have to adhere to these unwritten rules!
A chuckle built in her throat, and grew until the surrounding area reverberated with the chilling echoes of her laughter.
"Jez.? Are you.okay?" asked Matt hesitantly.
Her eyes were bright and she seemed.bouncy. "Never better!" Jez flashed Matt a winning grin.
Hanging his head in defeat Matt mumbled to himself, "You found a loophole didn't you."
The false angelic look was quickly replaced by vigorous nodding, "Mhm-hmm."
"What?"
"I am Jez, the Third Wacko, therefore I do not have to adhere to the unwritten rules if they conflict against my very nature."
"Crud."
Matt's following stream of curses was cut short by several knives outlining Matt at about the same velocity of WWS. It was too much for the poor soul, overcome with shock he passed out.
Inspecting him quizzically Jez began to undo the rope. "He lasted longer than I thought he would. Not bad."
No longer restrained by the ropes the tortured Wacko face planted himself on the ground as Jez happily picked up her toys.
Later, when Kana returned with the town drunk, she was met with the scene of Matt still face down in front of a scarred tree, and Jez smiling contentedly to herself, gazing serenely at the canopy above.
Well folks that's all. I hope you liked Jez's chapter as much as she seems to have. ~Kana, Matt, Jez~
----------------------- [1] Glomped: A cross between a hug and a tackle.
Chapter 4 (Jez's writing *gasp* oh my god, she finally wrote something.)
"So, now what?" Jez demanded, gazing at the odd foliage covering the canopy of their forest retreat.
"Umm, I don't know." Matt answered, being his usual dumb self.
"Hey, I think he's waking up." Kana said excitedly.
"Quien esta aqui? Quien esta aqui?" Jorge sputtered out so rapidly that even Kana had trouble understanding him.
Matt stared at Jorge in shock trying to figure out what the Spanish drunk just said.
Meanwhile, Jez was laughing hysterically at Matt's lack of knowledge in the Spanish language.
"Jorge," Kana said soothingly, "You have to speak in English, otherwise Matt won't be able to understand you."
"Isn't that a good thing." Jez stated, "I mean it's a perfect opportunity to confuse Matt."
"But Jez, Matt's a fellow wacko, we have to be at least a little bit nice to him."
"No we don't."
She was about to object, and her hand went up with staccato movements before pointing at Jez, "True." Turning to Jorge, "Never mind, speak in whatever language you desire."
Jorge began to speak Elvish.
"You know Elvish!?!?!" Squealed Kana as she glomped[1] him, "Teach me!!!!"
Jez took this opportunity to play "William Tell" with Matt. Or, at least her version of the game.
"J-Jez? What are you d-doing?" Matt stammered nervously.
Grinning maniacally Jez replied, "Just calm down and trust me."
"Trust you!?! You've cut my head off before!"
(This part was added by Matt to fix a small mistake that Jez originally made when she typed it up)
Narrator: WAIT A MINUTE YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!
"Why not?" asked Matt.
Narrator: IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TILL THE HOGWARTS FIC!!!!
"Hey!! Now you've spoiled the secret of the fourth Wacko fic you idiot."
Narrator: SO WHAT!!! WHILE I'M AT IT I'M GOING TO SPOIL THE FUN AND TELL THEM ABOUT THE THIRD FIC.
"You wouldn't"
Narrator: I WOULD!!! IT'S CALLED..
"Shut up!!!! Both of you. I fix it any ways." Jez yelled
(Back to original)
As Matt continues to whine and complain about all the injustices done to him over the years by the hand of Jez, she tuned him out preparing her various weapons.
"Ready?"
"No! Do you know how much my insurance is going to cost after this?"
"Your parents pay for it. And besides if I miss, it's not like you'll have anything to lose."
Matt looked down, and squeaked. After being tied up to a tree and an apple pinned between his legs; things weren't looking too good.
"Only a girl could get that high, Matt. Sheesh, not I can get my voice that.unless I'm watching anime. At any rate. One." Bow is ready, Matt trembles.
"Two."
Evil grin, Matt really begins to shake.
"Three!"
Arrow is shot, neatly imbedding itself in Matt's.actually it didn't hit Matt at all, but it didn't hit the apple either. Rather it buried itself in the tree bark in-between the top of the apple and the bottom of, this author won't go there, it would be giving Matt too much credit for something he doesn't even have, stupid fairy-boy.
Realizing everything was silent Matt was brave enough to open an eye enough to see the end result. Immense relief washed over his face, only to be replaced with some form of anger. "It is against Wacko hierarchy to harm another Wacko in any physical way shape, and/or, form in the context of a story!"
Jez looked up from her current occupation of checking the balance and sharpness of her throwing knives. "Wacko hierarchy? What kind of bull are you talking about now?" Rolling her eyes Jez's attention went back to the blades.
Matt's face was turning a healthy shade of red, quite a dramatic difference from the pale frost tone it had held only a few moments ago. He struggled against the restraints binding him to his torture stake, but in vain. "I am the second Wacko! I outrank you!"
Jez's cool glance didn't deter him; stupidity knows no boundaries.
"Kana and I decided that a long time ago. We both outrank you!" he continued, "So untie me, now!" His breathing was heavy, and somehow Matt's face managed to form a believable scowl.
A definite thud next to his ear wiped the glower away, shock replacing it as Jez's blade landed inches from Matt's head. "Is wussy boy to weak to get out himself?" She taunted, "And since when have I ever cared about rank? And." She cut off Matt's inevitable protest by waving a second blade threateningly. "Where was I when you established the 'Wacko hierarch'?"
"It doesn't matter, I outrank you. You cannot hurt me! It would violate the Wacko Code of Wackiness. It's in the unwritten rules."
He had her there. Silently Jez debated over what to do. She couldn't just let him go, that would take out all the fun of it, not to mention make her look like she had a heart, or even.emotions. She shuddered at the thought, no, she couldn't let him go. But she couldn't hurt him either. The unwritten rules.curse them.
Suddenly, it dawned on her. What if she didn't actually hurt him physically. But freaked him out a little, okay a lot. And what was she thinking, she was Jez was she not? It was stated in the unwritten rules that if she so desired she did not have to adhere to these unwritten rules!
A chuckle built in her throat, and grew until the surrounding area reverberated with the chilling echoes of her laughter.
"Jez.? Are you.okay?" asked Matt hesitantly.
Her eyes were bright and she seemed.bouncy. "Never better!" Jez flashed Matt a winning grin.
Hanging his head in defeat Matt mumbled to himself, "You found a loophole didn't you."
The false angelic look was quickly replaced by vigorous nodding, "Mhm-hmm."
"What?"
"I am Jez, the Third Wacko, therefore I do not have to adhere to the unwritten rules if they conflict against my very nature."
"Crud."
Matt's following stream of curses was cut short by several knives outlining Matt at about the same velocity of WWS. It was too much for the poor soul, overcome with shock he passed out.
Inspecting him quizzically Jez began to undo the rope. "He lasted longer than I thought he would. Not bad."
No longer restrained by the ropes the tortured Wacko face planted himself on the ground as Jez happily picked up her toys.
Later, when Kana returned with the town drunk, she was met with the scene of Matt still face down in front of a scarred tree, and Jez smiling contentedly to herself, gazing serenely at the canopy above.
Well folks that's all. I hope you liked Jez's chapter as much as she seems to have. ~Kana, Matt, Jez~
----------------------- [1] Glomped: A cross between a hug and a tackle.