Confused
Sitting here staring round
Thoughts stabbing in my mind
Yet I chose to make no sound
What would I say if I did?
Like anyone cares bout me,
An attention seeking kid
...
If I cry they'll say be strong
'To live in the circumstance is so wrong'
If I smile, ignore it all
Then that's not dealing with it at all
I get told off for keeping it inside
It's them who told me to, don't they realise?
It makes it seem I shine Christ's light
When inside I'm a spiritual fight
At church I feel safe enough to cry
Yet they frown and think I lie
When I say I feel unloved, alone
When I say I hate that place called home
'You know God, so just smile'
I do as I'm told, my life dancing on a wire
I want to live for Christ
But I can't keep this all inside
How do you be happy, not live in the circumstance, not hurt, not cry
When everything inside is screaming "no more" to being kept inside!
...
I don't doubt God I know he's there
I just need to see that humans too can care
Instead of telling me to laugh and smile
Can't they take a seat and listen a while
Instead of judging at what they see
Can't they help me, or just let me be
But judge me is all they do
Until one day maybe they'll see it from my shoes.
...
Listen to my point of view
Stop twisting what I say
Stop making me more confused.