Note: Just to let you know, this is a JOKE. Devon never has been nor ever will be in love with Clint from Art. The thought of it makes me shudder.

*flash back*

"And, he just had to stand there with his hood thrown back UNTIL BECKY CAME BACK TO SEE THE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN HIM AND HER PICTURES!! AND HE JUST HAD TO STAND THERE WHILE SHE SCREAMED AND ALERTED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh," Mom said.

*end flash back*

I didn't speak to Legolas for quite a long while. After my tirade at Mom I stormed up to my room, shut and locked the door, and sat down on the bed. I couldn't believe what an IDIOT Legolas was!

Slowly, as my anger began to cool down, I realized that I couldn't blame Legolas, he didn't know any better. I apologized and we got back on...tolerable terms.

Legolas ate Lembas for dinner that night, and pretty much kept quiet in my room, except for the episode with the laundry shoot.

See, in my room, there's a little doorway in the wall. I throw all my dirty clothes in it, and they fall down the shoot into a basket at the bottom. There, in the basement, my mom can put them in the washer, no problem. Actually, I'm surprised Legolas hadn't noticed it before, on his first inspection of my room. Maybe he had, but he had been too preoccupied with...other things.

Whatever the case, he saw it when he was confined to my room, and, in his natural, perfect Elven curiosity, he HAD to go over and inspect it. He opened the little door and peered down the small tunnel. It was dark down there, but his Elven sight saw something only a little way down the shaft.

He reached as far as he could, but even his long arms couldn't reach it, whatever it was. He shifted his body until he could fit both arms through the small doorway, then reached again.

Of course, in doing that, he lost support and promptly lost his footing on my carpet. After struggling for a moment, his sharp brain realized that he was, undoubtedly, unarguably, stuck.

Everyone at the dinner table jumped in surprise when a stream of Elvish curses rang through the room. (That suspiciously sounded like they were coming from the far wall) Mom stared at me hard, and Dad looked around in utter surprise.

"What on earth is that? Hehe, I didn't think the paint job was THAT bad." He asked incredulously, and Mom raised her eyebrows at me.

"Oh...Well...I...I must have left the TV on. Silly me. I'll be right back."

I hurried away from the dinner table before Dad could say anything and rushed upstairs. I threw open the door to my room, and hissed, "Legolas, shut u..."

I trailed off in utter disbelief.

There was a small moment of stunned silence before I erupted into laughter. At the same time Legolas renewed his squirming and yelled at me. "Just quiet down and help me out!"

I stumbled over and try to pull him out by his leg, but I was laughing to hard to get any kind of a grip. Legolas was growling Elvish in a low, menacing voice, which of course only made me laugh harder.

Eventually Mom came up to see what was wrong, and after she had laughed herself out too we worked together to pull the poor Elf out. As soon as he was free Legolas stood up and brushed himself off, obviously trying to regain a little personal dignity. Good luck to him there.

After that the night passed uneventfully and in the morning, I prepared for Art Class, while Legolas sat in the kitchen and poured bowl after bowl of Fruit Loops tm.

Then it was time to pick Devon up. Of course, Legolas couldn't stay home, since my dad was home from work. Devon was somewhat surprised to see him with us, but after we explained she agreed that there was nothing else we could do and as long as our friend Rachel wasn't there, no one would recognize him.

Nothing too bad happened in the car ride, except Legolas kept squirming and, as a result, kept hitting his head against the ceiling. We were all silenced, however, the whole ride there, while Devon had her usual gasps about her crush, Clint, who attended Art Class with us.

"Oh, and his eyes are sooooo dreamy! Oh my gosh Kara he is just so HOT!" She cupped her hands over her heart and sighed. Legolas sent her a very odd look from beside her. How she could rant and rave on about Clint with the cutest Elf on earth sitting beside her in the car was beyond me. Actually, he was the ONLY Elf on earth.

I turned my whole body around to stare her down after about fifteen minutes and gave her a glare that Sam's Old Gaffer would give me a pat for. "I know, Devon, I've seen him. Not to mention you describe him to me every single day! SHUT UP!" Surprisingly, she did. I sighed, rolling my eyes and trying to daydream about my own crush. (Whom I will not reveal in case my brother reads this) Legolas just sat there, bumping his head occasionally and staring at Devon like she was turning into an orc. Maybe, I thought absently, she was.

We got to Art Class, and I carefully explained to Sharon, the head art teacher, that I had a friend that would be visiting, and I hoped she didn't mind. Of course, being the easygoing (but firm) person she was, she guided him to a seat and helped him get his painting started. Once he had the paper, paint, and brushes, however, (being an Elf; naturally talented) he needed no further assistance and proceeded to shame Devon and I, who were assistant teachers and were on our fifth year at the studio.

* * *

"Ugh!!!" I yelled, bringing back my hand to fling the little bottle of paint across the room. Legolas gave me a very odd stare and held out his hand, offering to try his luck on opening the lid. As he reached out to take it from me, I glared and snatched my hand away, determined to conquer the paint that dared to defy the Great Kara myself.

The dumb paint lid was closed tight, and no matter how much I pushed it would not open. After a minute or so, I let out another frustrated wail and slammed the paint bottle against the table a few times. Finally, I did what I had vowed not to do, after a few very unpleasant experiences. I snagged the opening tab on the bottle's lid on my lower teeth, and snapped it downward.

The lid opened, alright, but unfortunately, I held a rather tight grip on the bottle's body. I froze, and Devon, who was leaning over to look at Legolas' painting, started to laugh hysterically. I whimpered and quickly threw the paint bottle down.

I sat there for a moment, immobilized by disgust, before I jumped up and grabbed for the wet rag on the arm of my chair. I began frantically running the rag down my tongue, whimpering and growling at Devon, who still hadn't gained control of herself. Legolas just sat back in his chair and watched, an amused smile playing on his lips.

After about thirty seconds of my unsuccessful attempt to clean out my mouth, I rushed to the bathroom. With that, the whole room erupted in unsuppressed giggles. Only Legolas was content to smile. A few minutes later, I stalked out of the bathroom with a look on my face that could kill even the mightiest of Elven warriors.

Just one look at me blazing eyes, and Devon sobered immediately, assuming a very composed, innocent pose. I stopped in front of her and turned my face eerily blank. That seemed to terrify Devon further.

With a terrible effort not to send Devon sprawling across the room, I turned away without a word and sat down in my seat with a huff. The entire room seemed to let out a breath that they had been holding.

I looked around, and suddenly I saw the stupidity and hilarity of the situation. I looked over at Sean, a boy who attended AC and that I was friends with. He looked as if he was trying really hard to hold something in. The sight of his face made me laugh out loud. Pretty soon the whole class was laughing and things were back to as normal as things can be.

Sharon was doing the usual; moving around the room inspecting her students' art and touching up some of the paintings. Sean, surprisingly, defying his usually out-of-the-way-I'm-shy personality that he normally carries out in his usual seat at the end of the row, was standing by the break table with one of his friends. I watched them for a minute, completely dumbfounded, before I nudged Devon in the arm.

With a somewhat startled "uh, hm?" She turned to see what I was pointing at. Her eyebrows knitted together in disbelief, and with a small chuckle she shook her head. They were taking cheesballs, putting them on their lips, blowing them in the air, and trying to catch them in their mouths. They kept missing them, and, coincidentally, the area within ten feet of them was strangely vacant.

I laughed finally and turned away. I guess he wasn't ALWAYS so shy. There was that incident with the candle... I chuckled remembering him drawing his finger slowly over the flame springing up from the candlewick. I had asked him if it hurt, and he said "No, as long as you do it fast enough."

Next thing I knew, I had turned my back, and everyone in the room was laughing. When I turned, Sean was bent over, hopping around a little two-foot diameter, holding his finger and crying "OW!". He had just stuck his finger right into the flame and kept it there. A couple minutes after the episode, he held up his finger and inspected it. "Cool," he said, "It's black!" That's one strange kid, I'm telling you.

Then came break time; the class is three hours long, by the way. Devon and I got our plates of popcorn, chips and salsa, and animal crackers, grabbed a can of pop, and sat at our usual place behind Sharon's desk. Once we settled, I looked around. "Where's Legolas?"

"Oh," Devon said, snorting and rolling her eyes, "STILL in the bathroom. trying to wash the red paint out of his hair." I gave her an incredulous glace, not even one doubt forming in my mind that she hadn't had something to do with it. With a smile I remembered one line in our personal theme song: "Instead of painting waterfalls, we're strewing it across the walls". Or in this case, the Elf.

I had a strange urge to burst out into song, and reveal my thoughts to Devon (not an unusual thing for me to do), but thought better of it and merely snickered. But as I was shaking my head in amusement, I caught the sight of Legolas in the corner of my eye. Turning fully to him, I saw he was talking to CLINT.

Remember? Devon's absolute obsession crush? He was leaning casually against the wall, his messy (and quite unbecoming) dark brown hair rising in tufts above his forehead. I dared to wonder how much of it was hair and how much was mud, and maybe dog hair.

"And she stared off at nothing, and started talking about your eyes..." I heard Legolas' musical voice and froze. This couldn't be good. "And then she said something about you being hot, but you are not any warmer to the touch than most humans..." I looked behind me and saw Devon's face redden like a raspberry, and I wondered absently if I should restrain her.

She immediately stalked past me and over to Legolas, who had his back turned. He was still talking to Clint, and the latter had a really funny expression on his face. At least in my opinion.

Legolas' Elvish ears heard Devon's approach and he turned around just in time to meet an all-out, full-force slap across the face. "YOU IDIOT!!!!" That was the second or third time he had been called that lately. Unintentionally, Devon had hit his ear in the process of hitting him across the face, and in case you didn't know, Elf ears are very, very, VERY sensitive.

Legolas' hands immediately flew to his ear, and he stood still for a moment, clutching his ear and hissing. As soon as the pain had passed, the Elf's pale complexion turned as red as a dwarf's, and his hands balled into fists at his side. Then he began yelling, throwing a volley of Elvish curses at Devon. He kept on yelling, --no, screaming-- without a breath, for a couple minutes straight. Devon just stood, dumbfounded and gaping. I would translate to you what Legolas was saying, but this fic is, after all, rated G.

Sarah (another art teacher) was staring at them in confusion, while I, of course, was in the background rolling with laughter. I think that made both of them mad. As we rode home together in my car, I was still laughing. "You've gotten cussed out by a nine-year-old before," I said, "But an ELF???? I NEVER thought I'd see you getting cussed out by an ELF!!!" She and Legolas both turned and glared at me. They were starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Bado mibo orch!!!(Go kiss an orc)" Devon growled, repeating one of the Elvish phrases she had memorized. Legolas cringed, and then a wide smile formed on his lips. As she had told me that a lot lately, I knew precisely what it meant. I smirked and stuck out my tongue. (I did seem to take a dark pleasure in making her mad)

"Same to you! And to Legolas!" The grin fell from Legolas and was replaced by a devilish, crafty look.

"Better than kissing you," He commented, smirking. Devon's mouth dropped at this insult but I merely saw it as an opportunity.

"You wanna try it, Elf boy?" He glared at me while Devon tried to hold in her laughter.

"NO, Arwenorch (Lady Orc)" At that we both faced forward and did not speak to each other. We dropped off Devon with out a word, although she was smirking and I think had totally forgotten (for now) that he had just told Clint everything. Legolas had officially (in my mind), established himself as a Pollo del Diablo. (Devil Chicken)

Ok that's all for this week. I think. Maybe. Anyway, hope you liked it. I am very disappointed. We are averaging about 2 reviews a chapter, and that really stinks. Oh well, to those wonderful people who did review...

elohir lover: Thanks, we're glad you like it! Here your bowl of Fruit Loopstm! (****)

SilverKnight7: Thanks a lot! Updating as soon as possible. Here's your Fruit Loopstm! (****)

Ok, well, I really don't have much to say except, REVIEW! IF YOU DON'T, NO STORY