It's not mine. Nor is it Devie Saves'. It's Tolkien's. Allllllll Tolkiensss, preciousssssssss....Well, actually the plot line is mine as are Kara and Mom, and Devon owns herself like many of the characters from Earth, but it's sssstilll Tolkien'ssss, precioussssssss....
Flash To Middle Earth And....Other Places
"Legolas!" Gimli's gruff voice echoed through the forest and the trees murmured amongst themselves in raspy groanings of protest. "Where is that elf?" He muttered to himself, glancing warily at the trunks that towered above him. "LEGOLAS!"
Suddenly he tripped over a root and fell flat on his face. Gimli came up sputtering. "I'm alright! That was deliberate!" Of course, no one was listening, but to him it seemed the proper thing to shout. "Just like that Elf, gallivanting off into the woods! And leaving me behind..." *grumble, grumble, grumble* Of course, by then, even the trees were plugging their ears.
"Where is Legolas?" A gentle, elderly voice said.
Gimli whirled, his axe immediately ready. He dropped it quickly when he saw who stood there. "You left!" he exclaimed. Gandalf smiled at him calmly.
"Of course I did." Gandalf straightened and adjusted his white hat. "It was my specific duty to return in the proper time, precisely for this fic, just so the plot line could be carried out."
"HEY! YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! IT'S AU! JUST STICK TO THE DUMB SCRIPT!" Two voices scream from way up in the author's booth.
"If the script was dumb," Gandalf started carefully, gazing blankly up at the sky, "Then how come..."
"WE are the authors," Interrupted the voice again, dangerously calm and controlled, "which means we can make anything happen to you at any time for whatever reason or lack of that we wish."
Gandalf's face softened and he becomes suddenly very humble. "Ahem... of course.... Let me see... um... where was I... oh yes."
*Authors mumble quietly to themselves, muttering something about old geezers with nothing to do but ruin other's lives and scripts*
He turns to Gimli once more, who is desperately suppressing a burst of laughter. Gandalf's glare sobered him immediately. "Where is Legolas?"
Completely regaining his composure with confidence that the story would go on smoothly, Gimli replied, "I thought you would know that, because for sure I do not."
"Well, since it is obvious he is not here, we shall to look for him. Come along."
Strange as he had become, (Gimli began to think he had a bit too much Elvish wine) Gandalf proved an excellent companion when traveling in a forest. He whispered to birds and moths, and listened carefully when the trees stirred and groaned in their strange communication.
He moved at an amazing speed through the forest, looking for all of Arda like a white, bearded snowflake being whisked off by the wind. Gimli did what he could to keep up, his short little arms pumping at his heaving sides as his squat legs picked up as much ground as they could.
Suddenly Gandalf stopped, and Gimli ran into him from behind. In front of them stood a small hut-like structure. It was wooden and overgrown with vines and other such wildlife, but it had a certain air that beckoned you to enter.
Gimli suddenly began slowly inching his way toward it, unconsciously submitting to the compelling desire to thrust open the door and walk in. Gandalf, all at once realizing what Gimli was doing, fairly flew across the distance separating them.
He knocked Gimli away from the door with his staff seconds before the dwarven hand closed around the handle. He tumbled to the ground, sputtering with rage as he stood up wiping dust from his clothes and mouth.
"Fool! Do not try to enter such a magical presence on your own!" With that Gandalf lifted a hand, and suddenly the entrancing desire was disrupted, and left immediately. "There. I have expelled any enchantment or trap that may be set about."
Gimli huffed and sent a glare that was supposed to be unnerving, but ended up being more surprised, up at the Istari before setting his hand firmly on the handle and creaking open the door.
They walked in and surveyed the inside of the structure. There were bottles of every color of the rainbow and more, and beakers and old dusty books sat on shelves that covered the walls. Gimli walked over to one and shook a heavy, leather book free of dust.
"Doubt an Elf would like this place much. Except Elrond, maybe, he seems to fancy these old, long-lost books of lore." He set the book down and turned to face Gandalf. "Did you think that the Elf was hiding in this old hole?"
Gandalf stood behind the dwarf, doing a thorough examination of the walls and tables. "I didn't expect him to be sitting at one of these desks reading a book of spells or re-styling those pretty braids of his, if that's what you mean," Gandalf said coldly.
Gimli raised his eyebrows and turned away, deciding not to tempt the Istari's mood any more. He wished to leave this cottage with as much of his beard and backside as he came in with.
As he turned, the sight that met his eyes caused Gimli to stumble back and gasp in amazement. Some broken glass lay over a liquid-ruined book. There was a faint wisp of... smoke? Steam? Something that was rising from the mess, as if there had been a fire or something there that had just disappeared.
"Gandalf..." He said carefully. The wizard turned and rushed to Gimli's side, blocking the poor dwarf's view with his white robes.
"Well, my friend, I believe I know what happened to Legolas."
"Then would you mind explaining it to one not as fortunate as you?" Gimli sputtered, beating at the robes as to get a view of the strange mess.
Gandalf ignored the rude comment, and continued, "I believe somehow, he knocked over the flasks and book, so they mingled together. This created a.... tunnel, sort of thing, that drew the Elf in and set him..."
"Set him?" Gimli's rough features looked worried.
"Somewhere..." Gandalf trailed off and moved closer to examine the book more closely. As he did, he noticed a small device on the cover. "Isildur's Bane!" He cursed.
"What? What is it?" Gimli tried to get closer but Gandalf held him back.
"The White Hand," The Grey One murmured. Gimli fell silent and stared at the book. The large handprint was now clear on the cover, and the sight of it flooded both of them with memories. "Well, that explains the magical traps."
"Then what do we do now?" Gimli threw his hands in the air and stalked away. "All we know is that Legolas was whisked away to Eru knows where by some evil magic left over by Saruman!"
"Precisely, Master Dwarf, and now I ask that you close your open mouth so that I can think. A breath mint might do you good as well."
Gimli glared at the comment, but upon hearing the sharp note in Gandalf's voice he obediently swallowed his next words.
"When I dispelled the magic, the tunnel must have closed. If I release it, it should re-open. The trouble is, If I do release it, who knows what traps could spring up."
Gimli interrupted the Istari's spoken thoughts. "The way I see it, if Legolas was able to survive long enough to drop a book and break some flasks and get sucked into a tunnel thing, we should be too."
Gandalf turned to him. "That is the first reasonable thing I have heard you say all day. All month. All year. All life! All..." Gandalf suddenly started and cast a terrified glance up at the sky and moved on hastily. "never mind. Very well, we'll see what happens." With that he lifted his staff and suddenly the steam that was rising from the book began to take a shape.
Gimli stared in awe as a black...something appeared, and right before his eyes Gandalf disappeared. "Well, I'm not going to let some Elf and some Istari have some grand adventure, and leave me out!" He stepped into the tunnel and began the instant journey to a world not his own.
* * *
By the time Gimli had collected himself, Gandalf was standing next to him, muttering something about dumb Elves and their natural curiosity... and something about hair spray? The dwarf merely gazed around, his eyes wide in amazement. To their left was some odd looking people, and to their right stood an enormous wall.
"By my beard! I've never seen anything like it! Never something so wonderful!" He exclaimed.
"Small wonder, for we are not in Middle Earth anymore, Gimli."
Indeed they were not. The wall stretched on for miles, until out of site. "It must be at least 100 dwarfs high!" He exclaimed, "A mighty dwarf is he that built this! I should like to meet him --or her-- if that be the case!" The strange people stared and pointed at them, while whispering with each other.
Gandalf, who had had quite enough of the wall and not the heart to disappoint Gimli with the fact that his kind existed not in this world, turned to study them.
Their skin was a pale, almost yellow color, and their eyes slanted at the corners. Most of the men had sharp, small mustaches and the women were very small. They were dressed in strange but obviously simple clothing, and they chattered amongst them selves in an indiscernible language.
"Hello," Gandalf addressed them brightly, in the common tongue. "I was wondering if you could give me a bit of direction?"
They said nothing but stared at him with wide eyes. He tried again, this time in Elvish. Still there was no response except wide-eyed expressions of fear. He spoke to them in every language he knew, but to no effect. Finally one of the men beckoned for them to follow him.
Gandalf sighed in relief, and grabbed Gimli, who was still staring at the wall. The strange man led them over a few small, grass covered hills, until they saw not far ahead of them a large, ornately decorated tent. The man walked up to the side, and began whispering something to someone inside.
After a few moments he bowed respectfully to the people inside and beckoned Gandalf to him. He pointed them to a small, almost invisible door in the side of the grand tent. Gandalf strode boldly in, dragging the reluctant dwarf behind.
"I don't like this place, I tell ye, I don't."
"I understand that perfectly well, but if we want to find Legolas, standing there looking at that infernal wall is not the way to go about it."
Gimli wisely decided to stay silent.
The wizard stopped short at the scene ahead of him. "Well, well, well, what have we here?"
Three strange looking men looked up when he spoke. One of them, obviously the leader, waved one of the other men at him. The second, a short, bald man, walked toward them and bowed respectfully.
"Honorable Gentle...men from strange lands," He stared at Gimli, who guffawed. A look from Gandalf stayed the words that were on the dwarf's tongue. The odd man went on in a precise but heavily accented form of the Common Tongue. "The Great Kahn is honored that you should pay him such a visit. He asks: 'what is your purpose here?'"
Gandalf sensed that he was in the presence of some great ruler, and wisely decided to use discretion. "We are looking for a friend of ours, and we seem to have come to the wrong place. If you could you direct us to the nearest tavern, I'm sure we can find our way from there."
Baldy (as Gimli had privately named him) stared at him. "I do not understand..."
"Look here," Gimli cut in. "We're looking for an elf named Legolas. Have you seen any elves around here?"
At "Elf" all three men stared at him. Gimli, looking somewhat embarrassed, quickly tried to cover up. "I see by your faces you have not. Then, if you don't mind, we'll be on our way."
Gandalf grabbed him when he tried to saunter past. "Blithering buffoon!" The Istari hissed. "Keep quiet, if you want to leave here as well as you came in."
He pasted a smile on his face and looked up, this time addressing the leader. "Great Kahn, Our only wish is to find our friend. As it seems you cannot help us, we will indeed, be on our way."
At this chaos erupted. Leader Guy began screaming in some odd language, Baldy began chattering fearfully about something or other, and the third man had pulled from under his cloak an impressive sword.
"You do not address the great Kubla Kahn!" Baldy screeched.
"Ah, so it's a fight you want!" roared Gimli, who then charged at the armed man with axe in hand.
"Gimli! Don't even..." Gandalf was cut off when Leader Guy smacked him full across the face.
"Why....I...I'll turn you into a toad!" The wizard seethed. Leader Guy's eyes grew wide as suddenly Gandalf seemed to grow tall and commanding. The tent became very dark and the Istari's voice thundered through it.
All turned to look as suddenly Leader Guy grew very small and, with a pop, turned into a small green amphibian.
"And he calls me a blithering buffoon," Gimli muttered, a little too loud. Gandalf turned on him.
"Do you wish the same fate?" He glared down at the dwarf, who suddenly seemed very small and meek.
"Uh no, Sir, and if you don't mind, I think we had better be going." His fight forgotten, Gimli rushed out of the tent, with a still angry wizard following him.
When they reached the same spot next to the great wall, they saw that the portal was still open and, unfortunately, there was a crowd of the Odd People next to it.
"Oh no," Gimli sighed.
"Will it never end?" Said Gandalf behind him. "I just hope no one has gone through."
Much to their relief, they found that no one was close enough to get sucked in, and they all seemed to afraid to actually get close enough.
"Well, Master Dwarf, once again you have made a bungling of things."
"I made a mess of things! You're the one who turned the man into a frog!" Gimli sputtered in outrage.
"Oh, very well. Let's just get out of here before anything else bad happens! The tunnel must have set us in the wrong place. I shall try to mend the magic but I am not sure.... " He trailed off.
They hurried over to the tunnel and felt the energetic pull as they began the journey through time and space.
* * *
As Gimli looked about, he got the strange feeling that Legolas wasn't here, either. Tall, towering buildings rose above him, and humans in strange, green, skintight suits were walking around. A few very strange people were in little boats that were whizzing and, yes, in truth, flying through the air!
"As lovely as this place seems, I don't believe Legolas is here." He commented.
"For once we are in accord, Gimli. Back to the tunnel!"
They turned around and rushed into the portal, and this time, for some odd reason, the journey was not instantaneous. Still, when his eyes began to focus, Gimli was greeted with a sight that at least assured him of Legolas' whereabouts.
Three wide pairs of eyes stared at them when they came through the tunnel. He gasped when he recognized the one who was, coincidently, behind bars. "Legolas!" He cried in delight (and disbelief).
Gandalf's voice mingled with his. "Thundering Orcs! I never thought I'd say this, but FOOL OF AN ELF!"
Hee hee hee I love this! Just to let you know, I don't think I'm accurate on the Kahn thing, (In fact I'm positive I'm not) but it fit so we'll let it go. Right, Devie? *smacks Devie, who was ogling at Legolas behind the bars, upside the head till she finally becomes aware enough to nod her head*
Right! Alright, now that I've awakened her from her daze, Devie will now answer your reviews!
Devie Here!
b.- Thank you!!! We hope you continue to read our story, and we hope to bring you the highest quality of satisfaction that we are capable of!
elrohir lover- Then we have shared a similar idea. He would be the one, if anyone, to be arrested. So sad, but so true… thank you for the review!!! Hope you read on and enjoy!!!
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity- Thank you so much!!! I hope you enjoy the rest of it!!!
And finally, Anne Shard!- OMG! I'm SOOO honored to have you reading our story! (I'm so tempted to say mine! ^_^) I LOVE your stories SO much!!! Well... okay... this is supposed to be a review reply, not a fan letter... so moving on... *ahem*… I'm really glad that you like our story! Oh, and the interlude…we got the idea from you… um… do you mind??? Oh, and you don't want to fall in love with Legolas??? That's more than a lot of other people can say…
Hey, people!!! Let's try to beat the record this time: on chapter four, we got eight reviews. Let's see if you guys can beat that!!! Sorry, this chapter came later than it should have!!! It's totally my fault, not Filia's, so blame me. I was busy and it took forever for me to do my part of the writing. But it's here now… so PLEASE SPARE ME!!!! *grabs Legolas and uses him as a shield* (Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry Legolas, but I can no longer flirt with you. I'm going out with Frodo!!!!!)Back to Filia!
Yes! Mwahahahaha, he is mine, allll mine. Unless of course *cough*Anne*cough* I start going out with Faramir.......Ditto to what Devie said about reviews!