Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR or any of its characters, or any giant theme parks. Then again, they don't own ME either, but you don't hear THEM whining...
Giving credit where credit is due...thanks to Koala for the cotton candy idea.
Chapter 13
A Spoonful of Sugar
"I'm still hungry," Gimli complained, walking along side of Aragorn.
Legolas was several paces ahead of them, still jazzed on caffeine. The other two had already experienced a rather sudden and severe caffeine crash, and had slowed considerably.
"You just had a scone, Gimli," Aragorn replied.
"Bah! That little bit of nothing? I'm working up an appetite chasing after the Elf," Gimli said, his short legs doing double duty next to Aragorn. "Can we not just hit him with a rock? That would slow him down. Where are we going, anyway?"
"We're trying to find the rest of the group, remember? We're heading to the Shire to find Merry and Pippin, first."
Legolas finally paused at the crest of hill. The other two caught up to him, and stood there, panting for breath.
"I cannot go down there," Legolas said, looking down the other side of the hill. "I have not the energy."
"Energy for what? It's downhill!" Gimli cried, giving the Elf a push. "I've been chasing your back all this while, you know. And I've told ye before...Dwarves are SPRINTERS!"
"Not for THAT, Master Dwarf," Legolas replied, smacking Gimli upside the head, "for THEM!" He pointed to a gaggle of girls clustered at the bottom of the hill.
"Oh, get over yourself, Laddie! You're not wearing those romance pants anymore, your hair looks like weeds have taken root, and you smell like a warg's backside!" Gimli said, wrinkling his nose and fanning his face. "I don't think any female on the planet will take a second look at you now,"
Legolas managed to look affronted and relieved at the same time.
"Come along, you two," Aragorn called, losing patience. "I want to find the others while we still have light."
The trio trouped down the hill towards The Shire. The girls, being downwind of Legolas, actually moved to the other side of the road to let them pass.
Legolas raised an eyebrow at the ease at which he passed them. "I may never bathe again," he said.
"Oh, you'll bathe, all right, Elf. You're stark raving mad if you think I'm sharing a room with that stench," Gimli retorted.
"You don't smell like roses yourself, you know."
"I'm a Dwarf – a strong personal odor is natural to us."
"Hence why female dwarves are so rare...they're hiding!"
Reaching The Shire without further incident, Aragorn turned to the other two and said, "Let us spread out and start looking for the Hobbits. We'll meet on the other side of The Shire."
"All right, Laddie. But give me that square thing ye used to barter for the ale and scones...I may see some food somewhere along the way. I'm wasting away to nothing!" Gimli said, holding out his hand to accept the card.
Leaving the other two, Gimli rambled down the right hand side of The Shire, looking into every little person's face he saw, seeking Merry and Pippin. Unfortunately, since the majority of people in The Shire were children just the Hobbit's height, he didn't get very far very fast.
"Bah! I'll be at this all night at this rate. I need sustenance NOW!" he thought to himself, after the twentieth person he spun around to look at turned out to be six years old.
He spotted a cart off to the side of the road that was surrounded by people eating some bright colored foodstuff held in a cone. Sauntering up to the cart, he stood very close to one person and nonchalantly, for a Dwarf that is, sniffed at the cone of fluff. His nose came away with a ball of pink fluff stuck to it.
"Mmmm. Smells better than salt pork!" he thought. Stepping up to the window of the cart, he raised his arm and waved the company charge at the attendant, trying to get his attention.
"Is your Mommy or Daddy with you, little girl?" asked the attendant, looking down at the top of Gimli's head.
"Little girl? LITTLE GIRL? Are you daft, man? You think I look like a little girl?" Gimli shouted, giving the cart a swift kick.
The attendant jumped back at the deep voice that issued from the short redhead in front of the cart. "Oh, um, sssorry sir! Here you gggo, nnno charge..." the attendant stuttered, handing Gimli a huge cone of pink cotton candy.
"Little girl, indeed!" Gimli harrumphed, grabbing the cone from the attendant. He walked away from the cart, his face buried in the soft pillow of pink.
Aragorn walked down the center of The Shire, intent on spotting Pippin and Merry. He noticed the preponderance of children here, which led to thoughts of Arwen and the child they someday hoped to have.
Coming to the Party Tree, he stood for several moments watching the spinning tea cups, smiling at the obvious joy in the faces of the children whirling about in the cups. The ride slowed to stop with a bright green cup stopping just in front of him. A little boy staggered from the cup, and promptly threw up on his shoes. Not on the little boy's own shoes – on Aragorn's shoes.
"Ugh!" Aragorn yelped, jumping back out of the line of fire. He managed to avoid most of the mess, but his brand new, company issued tennis shoes had not escaped completely.
"I just cannot win this day," he thought, scraping his shoes against the grass. "Arwen had best make sure OUR child comes equipped with a stopper!" he reasoned, as he walked in a wide circle around the boy, who still stood swaying in one spot, and continued on his search for the Hobbits.
Legolas leisurely strolled down the left side of The Shire, looking for the Hobbits. It was the first time all day that he hadn't had to be on guard against rabid females, and he was truly enjoying himself. He hardly noticed the raised eyebrows and wrinkled noses as he passed by.
He was passing several open fronted tents at which people were trying their luck at games. Watching with interest as he walked, he saw people throw balls at hoops, use a fascinating contraption to spray water at targets, and pitch rings at bottles. His attention was caught, however, by one particular booth, and he stopped to observe the process. Several people were shooting arrows at targets, which hung on the back wall of the booth. "These people shoot as though they've never held a bow before," he thought, shaking his head.
"You, sir! How about having a try? It's only one dollar to play!" the booth's attendant asked Legolas, beckoning him over.
"I think not, kind sir, I've not the dollar you require," Legolas answered.
"Awww, come on, you must have a dollar...I'll tell you what - I'll give you a free try, and if you win, you get a prize AND you don't have to pay! How's that?" the man persisted, thinking it was a sure bet that this bedraggled, long haired young man would never hit the wall, never mind the tiny targets placed there. "Of course," the man said, still trying to convince Legolas to play, "if you win, you get to keep shooting to win more prizes!"
"Well, I haven't shot a bow in the longest time..." mused Legolas, thinking it was true. He HAD gone the longest time EVER, having not shot a bow since he started work that morning.
"Great! Step right up!" the man grinned happily, offering the bow and an arrow to Legolas.
Legolas lifted the bow, frowning at the flimsy craftsmanship, quickly fitted the arrow and let it fly. The arrow sank neatly into the tiny bullseye of one of the targets.
"Lucky shot!" the man said under his breath, thinking for certain that it couldn't happen twice. "WINNER, WINNER, WINNER!" he shouted, looking to attract a crowd. He placed a stuffed hobbit and a small pile of arrows on the shelf in front of Legolas.
ZZZIIIPPP. Legolas let fly another arrow directly into the bullseye of another target. The man's eyes popped - no one EVER won twice in a row! "Winner, winner, winner," he cried, though much more softly than the first time.
ZZZIIIPPP. ZZZIIIPPP. ZZZIIIPPP. Three more bullseyes. Legolas was getting bored.
"I really must be about looking for my friends," he said to the attendant, who stood gaping at the show of marksmanship. "I'll just finish up these arrows and be on my way." Legolas picked up the last three arrows, fitted all three in his bow at once, and let fly.
"Thank you for you kindness. This has meant a great deal to me,' Legolas said, picking up the pile of stuffed animals in his arms. He walked off, leaving the attendant still staring openmouthed at the three arrows, all firmly stuck in the bullseye.
"Aragorn!" piped two voices from behind the empty stage just beyond the teacups. "Aragorn!" Merry and Pippin flung themselves about Aragorn's middle, hugging him desperately.
"Is it time to leave? Please say it's time to go!" Pippin cried, his voice muffled against Aragorn's tee shirt.
"Yes, Little One, it is time. We just need wait for Legolas and Gimli, then we can be off to find Frodo, Sam, Boromir, and Gandalf."
Pippin's eyes widened as Legolas rounded the corner, his arms brimming with stuffed animals. He walked up to the trio and smiled, his face nearly hidden behind the pile of toys.
"By Eru!" Legolas said, dropping his pile of stuffed animals on the ground, 'what happened to Gimli?"
The group turned around to see Gimli walking toward them. At least they thought it was Gimli. His entire head, neck, and beard were covered in bright, pink fluff, with a long paper cone stuck upside down to the top of his head. What little of his face could be seen did not look happy.
"I was looking for the wee ones here," he said, motioning to Merry and Pippin, "but there was a youngster blocking me way. I asked him to move -very nicely, mind ye – and...well...I'll tell ye one thing, Lads," he growled, "when someone here tells you to bite them...don't you believe them!"
Giving credit where credit is due...thanks to Koala for the cotton candy idea.
Chapter 13
A Spoonful of Sugar
"I'm still hungry," Gimli complained, walking along side of Aragorn.
Legolas was several paces ahead of them, still jazzed on caffeine. The other two had already experienced a rather sudden and severe caffeine crash, and had slowed considerably.
"You just had a scone, Gimli," Aragorn replied.
"Bah! That little bit of nothing? I'm working up an appetite chasing after the Elf," Gimli said, his short legs doing double duty next to Aragorn. "Can we not just hit him with a rock? That would slow him down. Where are we going, anyway?"
"We're trying to find the rest of the group, remember? We're heading to the Shire to find Merry and Pippin, first."
Legolas finally paused at the crest of hill. The other two caught up to him, and stood there, panting for breath.
"I cannot go down there," Legolas said, looking down the other side of the hill. "I have not the energy."
"Energy for what? It's downhill!" Gimli cried, giving the Elf a push. "I've been chasing your back all this while, you know. And I've told ye before...Dwarves are SPRINTERS!"
"Not for THAT, Master Dwarf," Legolas replied, smacking Gimli upside the head, "for THEM!" He pointed to a gaggle of girls clustered at the bottom of the hill.
"Oh, get over yourself, Laddie! You're not wearing those romance pants anymore, your hair looks like weeds have taken root, and you smell like a warg's backside!" Gimli said, wrinkling his nose and fanning his face. "I don't think any female on the planet will take a second look at you now,"
Legolas managed to look affronted and relieved at the same time.
"Come along, you two," Aragorn called, losing patience. "I want to find the others while we still have light."
The trio trouped down the hill towards The Shire. The girls, being downwind of Legolas, actually moved to the other side of the road to let them pass.
Legolas raised an eyebrow at the ease at which he passed them. "I may never bathe again," he said.
"Oh, you'll bathe, all right, Elf. You're stark raving mad if you think I'm sharing a room with that stench," Gimli retorted.
"You don't smell like roses yourself, you know."
"I'm a Dwarf – a strong personal odor is natural to us."
"Hence why female dwarves are so rare...they're hiding!"
Reaching The Shire without further incident, Aragorn turned to the other two and said, "Let us spread out and start looking for the Hobbits. We'll meet on the other side of The Shire."
"All right, Laddie. But give me that square thing ye used to barter for the ale and scones...I may see some food somewhere along the way. I'm wasting away to nothing!" Gimli said, holding out his hand to accept the card.
Leaving the other two, Gimli rambled down the right hand side of The Shire, looking into every little person's face he saw, seeking Merry and Pippin. Unfortunately, since the majority of people in The Shire were children just the Hobbit's height, he didn't get very far very fast.
"Bah! I'll be at this all night at this rate. I need sustenance NOW!" he thought to himself, after the twentieth person he spun around to look at turned out to be six years old.
He spotted a cart off to the side of the road that was surrounded by people eating some bright colored foodstuff held in a cone. Sauntering up to the cart, he stood very close to one person and nonchalantly, for a Dwarf that is, sniffed at the cone of fluff. His nose came away with a ball of pink fluff stuck to it.
"Mmmm. Smells better than salt pork!" he thought. Stepping up to the window of the cart, he raised his arm and waved the company charge at the attendant, trying to get his attention.
"Is your Mommy or Daddy with you, little girl?" asked the attendant, looking down at the top of Gimli's head.
"Little girl? LITTLE GIRL? Are you daft, man? You think I look like a little girl?" Gimli shouted, giving the cart a swift kick.
The attendant jumped back at the deep voice that issued from the short redhead in front of the cart. "Oh, um, sssorry sir! Here you gggo, nnno charge..." the attendant stuttered, handing Gimli a huge cone of pink cotton candy.
"Little girl, indeed!" Gimli harrumphed, grabbing the cone from the attendant. He walked away from the cart, his face buried in the soft pillow of pink.
Aragorn walked down the center of The Shire, intent on spotting Pippin and Merry. He noticed the preponderance of children here, which led to thoughts of Arwen and the child they someday hoped to have.
Coming to the Party Tree, he stood for several moments watching the spinning tea cups, smiling at the obvious joy in the faces of the children whirling about in the cups. The ride slowed to stop with a bright green cup stopping just in front of him. A little boy staggered from the cup, and promptly threw up on his shoes. Not on the little boy's own shoes – on Aragorn's shoes.
"Ugh!" Aragorn yelped, jumping back out of the line of fire. He managed to avoid most of the mess, but his brand new, company issued tennis shoes had not escaped completely.
"I just cannot win this day," he thought, scraping his shoes against the grass. "Arwen had best make sure OUR child comes equipped with a stopper!" he reasoned, as he walked in a wide circle around the boy, who still stood swaying in one spot, and continued on his search for the Hobbits.
Legolas leisurely strolled down the left side of The Shire, looking for the Hobbits. It was the first time all day that he hadn't had to be on guard against rabid females, and he was truly enjoying himself. He hardly noticed the raised eyebrows and wrinkled noses as he passed by.
He was passing several open fronted tents at which people were trying their luck at games. Watching with interest as he walked, he saw people throw balls at hoops, use a fascinating contraption to spray water at targets, and pitch rings at bottles. His attention was caught, however, by one particular booth, and he stopped to observe the process. Several people were shooting arrows at targets, which hung on the back wall of the booth. "These people shoot as though they've never held a bow before," he thought, shaking his head.
"You, sir! How about having a try? It's only one dollar to play!" the booth's attendant asked Legolas, beckoning him over.
"I think not, kind sir, I've not the dollar you require," Legolas answered.
"Awww, come on, you must have a dollar...I'll tell you what - I'll give you a free try, and if you win, you get a prize AND you don't have to pay! How's that?" the man persisted, thinking it was a sure bet that this bedraggled, long haired young man would never hit the wall, never mind the tiny targets placed there. "Of course," the man said, still trying to convince Legolas to play, "if you win, you get to keep shooting to win more prizes!"
"Well, I haven't shot a bow in the longest time..." mused Legolas, thinking it was true. He HAD gone the longest time EVER, having not shot a bow since he started work that morning.
"Great! Step right up!" the man grinned happily, offering the bow and an arrow to Legolas.
Legolas lifted the bow, frowning at the flimsy craftsmanship, quickly fitted the arrow and let it fly. The arrow sank neatly into the tiny bullseye of one of the targets.
"Lucky shot!" the man said under his breath, thinking for certain that it couldn't happen twice. "WINNER, WINNER, WINNER!" he shouted, looking to attract a crowd. He placed a stuffed hobbit and a small pile of arrows on the shelf in front of Legolas.
ZZZIIIPPP. Legolas let fly another arrow directly into the bullseye of another target. The man's eyes popped - no one EVER won twice in a row! "Winner, winner, winner," he cried, though much more softly than the first time.
ZZZIIIPPP. ZZZIIIPPP. ZZZIIIPPP. Three more bullseyes. Legolas was getting bored.
"I really must be about looking for my friends," he said to the attendant, who stood gaping at the show of marksmanship. "I'll just finish up these arrows and be on my way." Legolas picked up the last three arrows, fitted all three in his bow at once, and let fly.
"Thank you for you kindness. This has meant a great deal to me,' Legolas said, picking up the pile of stuffed animals in his arms. He walked off, leaving the attendant still staring openmouthed at the three arrows, all firmly stuck in the bullseye.
"Aragorn!" piped two voices from behind the empty stage just beyond the teacups. "Aragorn!" Merry and Pippin flung themselves about Aragorn's middle, hugging him desperately.
"Is it time to leave? Please say it's time to go!" Pippin cried, his voice muffled against Aragorn's tee shirt.
"Yes, Little One, it is time. We just need wait for Legolas and Gimli, then we can be off to find Frodo, Sam, Boromir, and Gandalf."
Pippin's eyes widened as Legolas rounded the corner, his arms brimming with stuffed animals. He walked up to the trio and smiled, his face nearly hidden behind the pile of toys.
"By Eru!" Legolas said, dropping his pile of stuffed animals on the ground, 'what happened to Gimli?"
The group turned around to see Gimli walking toward them. At least they thought it was Gimli. His entire head, neck, and beard were covered in bright, pink fluff, with a long paper cone stuck upside down to the top of his head. What little of his face could be seen did not look happy.
"I was looking for the wee ones here," he said, motioning to Merry and Pippin, "but there was a youngster blocking me way. I asked him to move -very nicely, mind ye – and...well...I'll tell ye one thing, Lads," he growled, "when someone here tells you to bite them...don't you believe them!"