Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Please don't sue us… By the way... We don't own Lord of the Rings, either.

Plot: Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.
Genre: Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy
Parings:

Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)
Anzu/Honda
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of ONE- MINUTE!)
Shizuka/Seto
Jounouchi/Mai
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)
Isis/Dartz
Honda/Otogi (SLASH!)
Anzu/Siegfried

Warning: Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.
-Imperfect Paradise (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)

The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent
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By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else

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-Chapter Two-
"Three Bakubunnies!"

Day II –

I am beginning to think we should have picked a larger hideout. The girls have declared the master bedroom and the adjoining bathroom "feminine space," and my Yami and Marik have disappeared into the bedroom Yugi and Yami have been haunting. I considered living in the closet in the hallway, but I think it would be far too uncomfortable to attempt sleeping in such a small space. So, lords have mercy on my soul because I'm stuck sharing the living room with Pegasus, Malik, Duke, Kaiba, Tristan and Joey. I've escaped to the kitchen for some quiet since it's at the end of the hall and therefore farthest removed from the loudest room (the living room, of course), but the walls are paper thin, so it's somewhat pointless. At least they can't read over my shoulder.

Pegasus is even more drunk than usual and is constantly banging his damn mallet. My Yami has left me to do god only knows what, but let's just say I'm unspeakably thankful that we found a way of creating separate bodies for ourselves, because I'm quite sure he's either mutilating himself or masturbating. Either way, I'm glad I'm not a part of it. Unfortunately, I still have to listen to the occasional screams and groans, which I'm sure, are coming from either him or Marik. Such noises usually prompt Duke to show off loudly to Mai who ignores him by either flirting madly with Joey or, more often then not, a mirror. Of course, every time Mai sees a mirror she declares herself the most beautiful thing in the world, which prompts Pegasus to bang his mallet loudly and declare "The court denies that motion!" So, all in all, things are pretty loud. Especially since about a half an hour ago, Kaiba lost his laptop (or rather, noticed he lost it. I suspect that Mokuba stole it sometime last night) and has been turning everything upside down in his quest to find it. I'll have to clean the room while everyone sleeps. God knows I won't get anything done with them awake. At least Joey and Tristan are calm. They've been having staring contests all day.

The other room is pretty quiet (excepting the occasional groan and the even rarer scream), but that's the room that my dark half and Marik are in. So, I would rather die than go in there. However, Yami and Yugi don't seem to mind. The last time I saw them they were sitting in the corner, and to the best of my knowledge, they haven't come out. I suppose they're still having the same conversation they were having yesterday. I doubt they even notice that Marik and my dark half had joined them.

Then there are the girls. Tea and Serenity have disappeared into the "feminine space" and have not come out in ages. Although, if I sit in the pantry, I can hear distinct beeping sounds, which sound a lot, like a computer game of some sort. It's quiet, of course, but it's definitely there. Of course, Mokuba is nowhere to be found, so I suspect he's abandoned his older brother in favor of cleaner living quarters (and I just KNOW the girls have better housekeeping skills then the monkeys in the living room-- they can't be worse).

At least I'll be able to keep the bathroom clean. I think Duke, Kaiba and I are the only men planning on showering. Pegasus would probably be interested under normal circumstances, but he and his mallet are too far-gone. I don't know WHAT the hell my dark half, Yami, Yugi, and Marik are doing but they don't seem interested in stopping any time soon.

My antidepressants are working their way out of my system.

End of Entry

Day II – Second Entry

I'm losing my fucking mind. Pardon my French, but as I passed the doorway to the guest bedroom, I swear to god I saw another me and I know that It wasn't my Yami because he was, at that moment, screaming his head off while doing unspeakable things to Marik. Well, they might be speakable, but if somebody actually thought of a word for doing that with a millennium rod... there must be a very sick person in this world.

Then again, who am I to talk about sanity when there's yet another version of me wandering around in bright red robes, eating what looked like raw garlic? I also noticed he had a scar on his cheek which I'm pretty damn sure isn't on my own. Then again... mirrors are tricky. You can never tell if they're showing you yourself or one of those evil dog mirror demons they keep in the mirror world to fool the spiders... Well, at least that's what Joey says. Oh, god I don't believe I've been listening to the things Joey says. No wonder I'm hallucinating! Ugh... I need my Zoloft. Or maybe some nice Thorazine.

End of Entry

He was frigid down to his very heart. Yes, his pale hair could easily be mistaken for spun ice, and anyone who dared look him in the eye would surely be frozen for what they saw there. And on a dark night, when the stars shone from the sky like distant icicles, he couldn't see it because he was in the fridge. Which is a shame, because Thief Bakura looked really, really good in the starlight. And heterosexual. Um… Let's make that very, Heterosexual… So, a VERY HETEROSEXUAL Bakura sat in the fridge murmuring to himself...

"Yes," he grinned, as he ripped a chuck of raw garlic between his teeth. "My plan is flawless this time. I cannot believe I didn't see it before." He attempted to pace back and forth in the fridge, but he couldn't even stand up as his head made contact with the vegetable crisper. Yes, the authors do realize that this Bakura is very flexible, but he's also HETEROSEXUAL, although he has no interest in any of the brainless bimbos available to him. This does not make him any less HETEROSEXUAL. He is 'completely' HETEROSEXUAL!

Any who, back to Thief Bakura.

His head hit the edge of the vegetable Crisper. He cringed a bit, and shook his fist at it, "When I rule the Earth, you shall come first!" He then grinned sadistically again. "Yes... it was here all along! I was a fool not to realize it sooner! Yes! YES!" He opened the box, his irises emblazed with flames. He opened the box, to reveal...

"LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING DVD -- Platinum Special extended edition." (He whispered the last part to the audience) He then inserted the disk into Mokuba's stolen PS2 equipped with LCD screen and started to watch.

It began with the forging of the great rings... Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings—" Bakura suddenly paused the DVD. He hissed, "WHAT! THREE!" He looked down at his single Millennium Ring. He looked around the fridge and hissed, "I MUST GATHER THE OTHER RINGS OF POWER! I SHALL SEARCH THIS ENTIRE HIDEOUT!" 'In the mean time,' he thought to himself, 'I shall make money to fund my evil takeover (which will require live babies for blood sacrifices, nuclear weapon components, guns, numerous slaves and concubines, and COOKIES!' "SQUEE!" (CRASH!) Bakura glared angrily up at the vegetable crisper and vowed "You will be the first to die at my hands after my coronation! MWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Moreover, as evil laughter rang throughout the hideout (emanating mysteriously from the fridge), nobody woke up. Except for Mokuba who crawled in bed with Tea, insisting that there was a polar bear in the kitchen. And the poor cucumber who trembled in fear of the thief king's threats. Or it could have been mutating. You never know with cucumbers.

- TO BE CONTINUED-

Random Note: Stay tuned for the next chapter.