Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or any of its characters, or any giant theme parks. I own a mansion and a yacht. No, wait a minute - that's not methat's Elmer Fudd. I own nothing.
Chapter 18
Be Our Guest
The Walkers left the strangeness of the pirate's exhibit behind, travelling down the path that led out of Isengard. Eight of them were still chuckling, helpless to stop. Legolas lagged behind the others, knowing he was the brunt of the joke, but not understanding it at all.
"Aw, come on, Laddie," called Gimli, finally getting himself under control, "do not take our laughter to heartwe mean nothing by it!" He motioned for Legolas to catch up to the group.
"I know it has something to do with these garments, Gimli. I wish someone would let me in on the jest. I know not what is so very funny about these clothes. I know it is odd that the shirt that says Princess,' and the hat is rather big, but what is wrong with the short pants? I know they are rather tight fitting...is that it?" Legolas murmured, deftly picking out a wedgie.
"Nay, Laddie, they fit you fine, just fine," Gimli reassured him. He wasn't about to tell Legolas about the back of his shortsthe possibilities were just too good to give up. He rather liked having something to hold over the tall, elegant Elf's head after all of the insults he had taken from him during the quest to destroy the ring. Particularly the crack Legolas had made to him at Helm's Deep about fetching Gimli a box to stand on so that he could see over the balustrade. "Really, tis nothing for you to worry about."
They followed the path through the Fangorn Forest maze passing Treebeard and the seven short men who had taken over that station when Gimli's shift was over.
Leaving Fangorn, they entered Rivendell, passing in front of Santa's Toy Shoppe. Of course, the Hobbits had to stop and watch the collection of wind-up toys clattering about in the window of the shop.
"Oh, I like that tiny horse! What magic makes it walk around by itself?" Pippin asked, his nose pressed flat against the glass of the window.
"Those teeth chattering over there in the cornerI wonder whose mouth they came from? " Frodo asked, looking a bit pale and clamping his hand over his own mouth."I really like that little piece of cheese that is hopping about over there," Sam said, pointing to a wind-up piece of swiss.
"You WOULD like the one you could eat, Laddie," Gimli put in, clamping his hand on Sam's shoulder.
"I AM very hungry, Gimli. Frodo wouldn't share his cake at lunchtime," Sam replied, receiving a sour look from Frodo.
"We are heading out of the park, now. Surely there is somewhere nearby where we can obtain supplies," Gandalf said, hurrying them along.
Just as they were reaching the arch to Minas Tirith, a cacophony of sound filled the air. As the music reached crescendo, a strange, loud whistling sound could be heard, and Merry caught sight of something white streaking upwards in the sky above them.
"Look, Gandalf, what strange star is that?" he asked, pointing to the sky.
Before Gandalf could answer, thunder sounded, and the sky burst into brilliant streaks of color as the nightly fireworks show began.
All nine Walkers dropped to the ground, covering their heads.
Aragorn felt a tap on his shoulder. He uncovered his head enough to peek up. A small girl was looking down at him, concerned. "Don't worry, Mithter," she said with a slight lisp, "Ith okay. They won't hurt you."
Aragorn risked taking a quick look at the throng standing around him. The deafening music, and great booming noises continued, as did the fiery display overhead, but the crowd seemed calm. Except for the thirty or so people in their immediate vicinity who were staring at the prone Walkers, everyone else was just standing there watching the sky, occasionally saying, "Oooh," or "Ahhh." He could detect no fear in anyone around him, except for the Walkers, of course.
"I think the fires in the sky will not harm us," he said to the others, having to shout to make himself heard. He stood up, but couldn't help ducking a little every time a firework exploded. The other Walkers stood also, but they all hurried to stand under the arch of Minas Tirithjust in case.
The fireworks display lasted for nearly 20 minutes. As the crowd dispersed, Gandalf said, "I really cannot take much more of thiscan we PLEASE leave, now?"
"Aye, Laddies, let us go. Me ears are still ringing from all that racket!" Gimli voiced, vigorously rubbing both ears.
"What?" asked Legolas.
"I said "me ears are still ringing!" Gimli said, in a loud voice.
"WHAT?" asked Legolas, rubbing his own ears.
Gimli put his mouth up close to Legolas' ear. "ME EARS ARE STILL RINGING!" he bellowed.
"Your dill is stinging?" Legolas asked, a disgusted look crossing his face, and taking step back. "That sounds horrible. You should get it looked at in the House of Healing."
Gimli's face turned purple as he stalked away from Legolas in a huff, muttering something under his breath about the stupidity of deaf Elves.
Finally, and without further mishap, they found their way back into the tunnels to the dressing room, where Boromir, Frodo, and Sam changed back into their street clothes.
Legolas was extremely disappointed to find that his original street clothes were now smelling strongly of mildew, and made him sneeze when he attempted to change. His sensitive Elf nose couldn't tolerate the odor, so he was forced to remain dressed in the clothes Aragorn had bought.
Aragorn led the way out of the tunnel into the employee parking lot. Finding the small wooden shelter that the guide had told him of that morning, he and the other Walkers took seats on the benches provided there.
"The conveyance should be here shortly," Aragorn announced.
"We have not had much luck with the conveyances available in this place," Gandalf said. "I shudder to think what this one might do to us."
"The guide said that it would take us to the rooms the park has provided."
"Bah! I wouldn't put much stock in what that daft girl said, Aragorn," Gimli growled. "You saw how mistaken she was about about EVERYTHING today!"
"Aye, Aragorn. She was misinformed about a number of thingsMinas Tirith, and Rivendell, for example," Legolas put in, agreeing with the Dwarf.
"Not to mention that she thought that plastic monstrosity was Treebeard!" Gimli added.
"We don't seem to have much choice in the matter, my friends. We'll simply have to wait and see, and trust that on this, at least, she is correct," Aragorn said, shrugging his shoulders.
A few moments later, a short, yellow bus pulled to a stop in front of the shelter. The doors opened, and a friendly face peered out at the Walkers.
"Egads!" cried Gandalf, "He sits in the belly of the beast!"
:"Perhaps it is not too latehe looks still alive! Mayhap we can save him!" Aragorn shouted, looking about for a weapon.
"Hey, fellas! Are ya'll ready to go?" the bus driver called, seeing the Walkers, waving them over to the bus.
"Go? Into the beast? Willingly? Are you mad?" Gandalf replied, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline.
"Um, I think maybe ya'll are confusedI was sent by Middle Earth management to take ya'll to your dorms. You don't have to worry none, though cause Ol' Bessy, here," he smiled, patting the dashboard, "will get you there safe and sound!"
"THIS is the conveyance that is to take us to our rooms?" Aragorn asked, staring wide eyed at the bus.
"Did ya'll expect a limo-zeen? This is as good as it gets, boys. Time's a wastingwe best get moving," the driver said, urging them on.
"What do you think, Legolas? Do you think it would be safe?" Aragorn asked the blonde Elf.
"This is outside of my realm of experience, Aragorn. But so far, for as frightening as our adventures have been, none of us has been injured"
"Let us depart, then, and pray Eru see us safely delivered. I do not fear death!" Aragorn concluded, taking a deep breath and stepping onto the bus.
"He always has to be so damn dramatic!" Frodo said to Merry as the rest of the Walkers followed behind Aragorn.
"Watch your step, there, pretty lady," the driver said as Legolas boarded. Legolas froze, but was pushed ahead by Boromir.
As each Walker boarded, the driver handed them a key and a small ticket stub.
"The keys are for your rooms. Ya'll will be bunking three to a room. The ticket there is for a free dinner at the Golden Buffet, right next door to the dorms," the driver explained.
"Dinneryou mean we will eat? FINALLY!" Boromir shouted, gripping his ticket and punching the air.
"As much as you want, big fellabe our guest!" the driver said merrily, as the bus pulled away from the curb.