Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters, or any giant theme parks. I own the dust zoo under my bed. It started with bunnies, but now I have an entire menagerie, because I spend too much time on this frickin' computer, and not enough time with the frickin' broom.
Chapter 19
Rumbly in My Tumbly
The short yellow bus pulled up in front of a large, four story, many windowed building, not far from Middle Earth World Park. The Walkers were exiting the bus, each thanking the driver politely.
"Calo anor na ven," Aragorn said, bowing slightly as he exited the bus.
"Um, yeah, Bonness Nachos to you too, buddy," the driver answered, awkwardly trying to bow back to Aragorn.
"He said, 'May the sun shine on your road'," Gandalf interpreted, nodding his head at the driver as he climbed down onto the street.
"Oh, sorry. I don't speak Spanish," the driver called, waving goodbye.
"It was Elvish -Sindarin." Legolas said as he passed the driver.
"Oh. He's from someplace in France, right?"
"No, Gondor. Legolas explained. "Hannon le."
"Hannah who?"
"It means 'thank you'," Legolas clarified, stepping out of the bus.
"Oh, wellthank YOU, little lady!" the driver called out, his eyes glued to the back of Legolas' shorts.
"I am NOT a lady!" Legolas retorted, spinning around to face the driver.
"Well, in THAT case, what are you doing later, honey?" the driver drawled, winking at Legolas.
Boromir, Gimli and the Hobbits burst into laughter, as Legolas stormed off to join Aragorn and Gandalf, leaving the bus driver looking very disappointed.
Gathering in front of the building, the Walkers got into a heated debate over whether they should check into their rooms first, or go to eat.
"If I don't get some food soon, I may have to hurt someone!" Boromir declared, waving his ticket for a free dinner in the air.
"It should not take us long to get situated in our new abode," Gandalf argued, trying to convince Boromir, Gimli and the Hobbits to wait.
"Honestly, Boromir, do you always think with your stomach?" Legolas asked derisively. "You already look like you are carrying twins!" he added, eyeing Boromir's midsection.
"I AM NOT FAT!" Boromir cried, sucking in his stomach.
"FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FEED US!" the Hobbits cried, jumping up and down.
"Alright, Alright! We'll go eatanything to get you to stop arguing!" Aragorn exclaimed, pushing his way between Legolas and Boromir, and heading to the low slung building next door to the dormitory.
The cheerful looking building was yellow with red awnings. "Golden Buffet" proclaimed the brightly-lit sign near the roof. Best of all, there was a meaty, smoky aroma wafting out through the open doors.
"Ahhh, FOOD!" Gimli cried, sniffing deeply and nearly salivating.
"You would think they hadn't eaten in a week!" Legolas said to Aragorn, shaking his head at Gimli. "They broke fast not twelve hours ago!"
"Warriors travel on their stomachs, Laddie," Gimli retorted, having caught Legolas' remark.
"You'll travel to an early grave if you keep eating the way you do," Legolas responded.
"That's not fair, Legolas. YOU are immortal. YOU don't really even have to eat at all! We ate more often on our quest than we did today!' Pippin interjected.
"You wouldn't say that if you had been in Mordor, Pippin," Sam said. "I remember when we only had ONE piece of lembas left, and I had to give it to Frodo"
"For the love of Eru, PLEASE don't bring that up again! I'm tired of you throwing that in my face, Sam!" Frodo exclaimed. "When we get back home, I'll get you a year's supply if you'll just shut up about it!"
"I believe we better get them something to eat, now," Gandalf said, pulling Sam off of Frodo before he did any damage. "If they are busy chewing, they won't be speaking."
The Walkers entered the building, and approached a young lady behind a long white counter.
"Hi! Is this your first time to the Golden Buffet?" she asked, smiling broadly at the Walkers.
"Yes, milady, it is indeed. We have these papers" Aragorn showed the girl the ticket given him by the bus driver.
"Oh, okay! You all work for Middle Earth Park! We get you folks in here all the time. We have four different stations set up," she said, pointing to each station in turn. "That one is for hot entreesmeats and pastas. That one is for vegetables; that one is for salads; and that last one is for breads and desserts. Just take a tray and utensils from under the counter, find a table, and help yourselves! The waitress will bring you your drinks"
Each Walker grabbed a tray and silverware from under the counter.
"What is this for?" Merry asked, holding up a fork. "It looks like a very small trident."
"I do not know, Little One, but take one anyway. They would not be there if we did not need them for something," Gandalf replied, taking a fork and adding it to his tray.
Filing into the dining room, the Walkers spotted an empty table near the rear of the room. Shortly after they were seated, a waitress approached to take their drink order. She placed a stack of plates on the table.
"What will you be drinking?" she asked, holding a paper and pencil.
"ALE!"
"Do you serve pints? I want a pint," Merry said, licking his lips.
"Thirsty, huh? I'll just bring a few pitchers, how's that? And I'll bring a pitcher of soda and a few booster chairs for the kids. Just help yourselves to the buffet," the waitress said, writing the order down on her pad and walking away.
"Pitchers? Are they as big as pints?" Merry called out after her, but received no reply. "Damn," he said, sitting back in his chair, "I really wanted a pint."
"What kids?' Pippin asked, looking around. "I see no goats, here."
The Walkers each took a plate and walked to the buffet. Aragorn, Gimli, Boromir, and Gandalf headed directly to the hot entrée station, following their noses to the meat. The Hobbits descended on the vegetable station, while Legolas found his way to the bread station.
Looking over the selection of breads set out on trays, Legolas asked the attendant behind the station's counter, "Have you any lembas?"
"Lembas? No ma'am, we don't have any of that fancy stuff. Just white, rye, and rolls."
"I am NOT a oh, never mind!" Legolas said, too tired and hungry to argue about his gender any more. He grabbed a couple of rolls and put them on his plate.
One by one, the Walkers met back at the table, and descended upon their food, shoveling it in with both hands. Even Gandalf and Legolas were too hungry to maintain much decorum. The only ones missing were Merry and Pippin.
"Now, where have those two gotten off to?" Gimli said through a full mouth, juice dripping down into his beard.
A burly manager who soon approached the table answered his question. He was carrying Merry and Pippin by the seats of their pants.
"Do these belong to you?" he angrily asked, holding up the two Hobbits. Merry and Pippin's faces and hands were covered in green vegetable mush.
"Aye, they do," Gimli replied, arching his bushy brows. "What be the trouble?"
"The TROUBLE is that they went head first into the vegetables! They were eating out of the serving trays like pigs at a trough! They growled at a little old lady who tried to take some string beans! Kindly keep them with you, or we will have to ask you to leave. Children may NOT help themselves at the buffet," the manager replied irritably.
"We AREN'T children!" the two Hobbits shouted, wriggling about in the air.
The manager ignored their outburst, and deposited them in two of the chairs now equipped with booster seats.
"Some times I think you two are more trouble than you're worth," Aragorn said to Merry and Pippin. He got up from the table and went to fill two plates for the Hobbits.
Merry and Pippin didn't look too sorry for the disturbance they had caused. They sat at the table with big grins on their faces, licking the vegetable mush off of their hands.
Aragorn returned and placed a plate of chicken and vegetables in front of each of the two Hobbits.
Looking at the large pitchers the waitress had sat on the table, Merry asked, wide-eyed, "Is that the Ale? They have tremendous pints here!"
"Aye, Laddie. But you don't drink it from those vessels. You pour it into these smaller cups," Gimli instructed, demonstrating on his own glass.
"Why are there two different colors of ale?" Pippin wanted to know, speaking around a huge bite of chicken that barely fit in his mouth.
"Ohthe light colored one is called Bud, and the darker one is Root Beer," Gimli replied. "The light one tastes more like ale, if you ask me. The dark one is sweet, though. And both are ice cold!"
"I wonder how they keep things so cold in this hot weather?" Gandalf mused, stuffing a forkful of potatoes in his mouth. "Oh, and Pippin? I have observed the diners at other tablesthese little tridents are evidently used to pick up food from your plate and deposit it in your mouth. I rather like themyour hands stay clean!"
Pippin watched Gandalf demonstrate. "Seems like a waste of time to me. You can't fit much on that little trident," he said, shoving a fistful of lima beans in his mouth.
The four tall Walkers and Gimli chatted about the day's events and relaxed, content after just a couple of plates of food. But the Hobbits ate plate after plate after plate, making Gimli wonder aloud whether they could possibly clean out the restaurant of food.
Finally, Gandalf put a stop to the Hobbit's gluttony. "Enough is enough, Hobbits! You would eat until you explode if we allowed it!
It is time to go." He picked up Merry, and headed for the door. Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir each picked up a Hobbit, and together with Gimli, left the Golden Buffet. They put the Hobbits down when outside the building, but had to keep Pippin and Merry from dashing back inside.
Together, the Walkers strolled back to the dormitories to get themselves checked in for the night.