A/N: Thanks a lot to my reviewers, and sorry for the delay... summer break's come, and my family's been doing a lot of traveling. This chapter, Kael meets Stacey the gnome, and has a real heart-to-heart talk with the author.

"Now that you've all had your say, let me introduce myself!" A spazzy-looking, blonde gnome girl stood atop a desk in the front of the room, dressed like a pop-princess teenager. "I'm Stacey, and I'll be your counselor. I'm sure we'll have a great time together!" When she spoke, a strange clicking sound was made – it seemed that her tongue was pierced with a diamond stud. Kael'thas was most certainly not amused.

He was encouraged, though, that Lady Vashj of the Naga had brought a few of her close servitors and come to see the center for herself – maybe get a little help while she did.

"We'll be starting this quarter of your therapy by breaking up into small groups, overseen by a professional, and you'll share your stories of woe and tragedy from the substances that have ruined your life." Stacey proceeded to break people into five groups (there were about twenty people).

Kael wondered how this therapy seemed to resemble kindergarten. He even remembered a teacher from his kindergarten named Stacey, who he was convinced was actually a forest troll in disguise, planning to kill them all and eat their flesh when she was done. It never happened, much to his disappointment – he needed an excuse to kil something at the time.

"So I had died, and I thought that was the end, right? I wanted to accept it, then I'm raised from the dead by this ugly guy in robes with a skull on his head, and look at me now. I joined the Forsaken, because I hate those Scourge bastards, but I guess being dead really destroyed me a second time." The undead woman was telling her story, and had apparently put on too much perfume to disguise the smell of rotting her own flesh – yet sometimes that fresh flowery scent can be more nauseating than death.

"What did you do?" Another counselor was overseeing Kael's group; he was a scruffy, bookish, yet kind-looking man. Her addiction could be anything: marijuana or another gateway drug, magic, antidepressants...

"I..." She had started to break up into tears. "Well... I know this guy who works at Blizzard Entertainment... and I got into the World of Warcraft alpha testing. I mean, I just... indulged myself."

There were gasps from her companions, ranging from surprise to envy.

"I'm hopelessly addicted... My undead Warlock is at the level cap, and she's joined a guild that's one of the best known in Azeroth. I spend whole days glued to my seat... I want to stop my addiction, but be able to go back every once in a while."

"I'm sure we can help, Ella." The psychologist gave her a pat on the back and a handkerchief from his endless supply – it seemed that they just kept on coming. "Anyone else want to share their tales of woe? Kael?"

"Mine's the normal Blood Elf story... Quel'thalas invaded, Sunwell corrupted, and I lead the remnants of my addicted brethren to a source of power." He tried his best to look ashamed at this point, like everyone else had. The elf sure didn't feel ashamed – he actually felt pretty damn proud of being a soulless, bad boy magic-addict. "We found one... demons."

Again, gasps of surprise – except from a succumbus from a nearby group, who spat on them. "I found myself in a bad state of mind and body, so I got a tip-off from the god of search engines and got myself here."

After everyone finished their story, they were ushered out to the cafeterias to have lunch, which consisted of food of public elementary school quality. Kael didn't bother with food and engaged a rather lively discussion with Vashj about night elves, corruption, hot dogs, and the profound connection between all three.

"'Lo there, Kael! How do you like the story so far?"

The elf's blood froze. "Goddamn!"

A young Darkspear troll sauntered over to their table. She was somewhat rotund for one of her kind, but still well-muscled, her ragged green hair was worn in a long ponytail, and a pair of oval, silver-rimmed glasses sat on her long, hooked nose. A laptop case was slung over her shoulder – a laptop that Kael feared beyond measure. Wicked's laptop.

"Good to see you, too," the troll smiled and pat him on the back. Her accent was not that of a regular troll's – it carried a slightly British nuance. "I was wondering if you have any feedback I could use for the next chapter."

"Wicked," Kael'thas said through gritted teeth. The ridiculousness of the story suddenly dawned on him. "You have me in rehabilitation, with a bunch of addicts of a game that isn't even out yet and doesn't even let you play a blood elf. Me, the second-in-command of Illidan the Betrayer himself."

Wicked flashed a smile at him that she probably meant to be cute, but came out rather... well... wicked. "I know! Isn't it great?"

Vashj began to say something, but not before Kael lunged over and throttled the author. "I swear to all things holy, girl, you will die by my magic, which I will not give up because of some idiot girl's fanfiction! You will be gutted and your corpse burned in the flaming blood of my dead brethren!"

Wicked grinned again, but this time she meant it to be fully malicious – and it was. "It wouldn't be wise to try that, friend. Not if Illidan's on my side."

Vashj sighed. "Don't you see, my prince? This young woman is the only person the master knows who owns an Xbox. You remember how the master loves Splinter Cell, do you not?"

Kael banged his head on the cheap cafeteria table. "Damn Ubisoft for making that game. Damn it all to hell!"

Wicked laughed. "I feel you, mon. Illidan's always hogging the 'Box now; never lets me play Morrowind." She blew a kiss at them and walked away, humming an old Warcraft II tune.

"I never trusted trolls..." Kael muttered. "Now, what were we talking about, Vashj?"

"Hot dogs," the naga queen said. "Just think of hot dogs, my prince."

Kael spent the rest of the day with a happy, oblivious smile on his face, for he was listing the ten thousand ways he could filet the author in hellfire. He didn't even pay attention to Stacey the gnome, who was more annoying than ever.

A/N: Ok, second chapter done! Excuse the author cameo – I just couldn't resist. Next chapter you'll learn more about the not-so-mysterious Stacey, and her relevance to the plot. Wait... what plot?

Remember, : all reviewers get a free spot in the WoW beta!

... Not really.