One-shot. Angsty Warren/Betsy stuff. Very short. Lemme know what you think.
The song is "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace. There's a line about purple hair in the song. I mean, how could I not write an Angel/Psylocke fic to go with it?
I don't own the X-Men. I ain't makin' any money off this. I'm doin' this to shut my stupid muses up so I can get some sleep.
Somewhere Out There
By: Alyx
I Hope you
remember me when you're home sick and need a change.
I miss your purple hair. I miss the way you taste.
It's been nearly three years since Betsy was taken from us. Three years, and I still love her today as much as I ever did. Neal Shaara, Thunderbird, came back a few months ago with Lifeguard. They're so in love it's sickening. Makes me wonder if he ever loved Betsy at all. He sure got over her quickly. And here I am three years and four girlfriends later and she's still all I can think about.
"Be happy, kid."
Those were the last words I uttered to her on this earth. I sent her off with Storm and Rogue...and Neal. I practically handed her right over to him. I hate myself for that. And I hate him for letting me do it. If I had known that was the last time I would see her...Hell, I never would have let her go on that stupid quest if I had known she wouldn't be coming back. I still remember the way she felt in my arms that night. The way she looked at me with huge, wet eyes. The smell of her vanilla perfume. Sometimes I wake up and swear I can smell it. It's even worse when I pass a woman on the street or at a party with a similar scent. I have dreams about her for weeks afterward.
We had gone out dancing that night. I loved to take her dancing. She was incredibly graceful in battle, but on a dance floor she was unsurpassed. We didn't stay long. She knew something was wrong. She kept looking at me, concern written across her beautiful features. I was so angry and hurt, I could barely keep it in. I kept seeing Neal laying on top of her, the two of them laughing, covered in snow. Even now I want to wrap my hands around his neck and choke the life from him. But I swallowed that impulse and instead let my pride take over. I held her in my arms, crying as she asked my why. Asked me what had changed. I turned away from her. Told her I needed, wanted something different. That I didn't want her anymore. I think I broke her heart then. At the time I didn't care, my own heart was aching so badly.
I guess I gave up on "us" so quickly because I thought that she'd get him out of here system and then we could be together again. So much for that theory. I heard Storm talking about the two of them a while back when we first heard that Neal was coming home. She was telling the Professor how in love the two of them were. How Betsy would light up when he walked in a room. How Neal had lost it when they found her dead. I envy him for that too. Not only did he have her in life, but in death he was the one to hold her to him. What I wouldn't give to have died there beside her.
X-Men have died before. Tragically, heroically, whatever you want to call it. Betsy's death was tragic and heroic, but it was also senseless and much too soon. I know it's foolish, but I can't help but think that maybe I will see her again. I mean, Jean's come back to us so many times now...I've just come to see that death isn't always final. But Betsy isn't the Phoenix. She doesn't have the power of the cosmos to keep her alive. She was all flesh and bone. And she was magnificent.
We had good times together. The best in my life, honestly. We went to all the big parties, all the Broadway shows. But I was never as content as I was when it was just the two of us in bed. Of course, there's the obvious reasons. And God, she was an amazing lover. By far the best I've ever had. And that's saying a lot considering my "wild younger days". But the really good stuff, the stuff that made me love her always happened afterwards, when we just cuddled. Or when she drifted off to sleep, I'd just hold her and watch her breath. She was exquisite. Completely flawless and she was mine. But I let her go.
I find myself at her grave often, even though I know her body isn't there. The fact that some sick bastard went into her casket and took her from it...God, it makes me so sick. I have to force myself not to think of it. Otherwise I'll drive myself crazy. I bought a house near the graveyard so that when I'm in England I can be near her resting place. I see Brian often. He has me over for dinner. We share stories about his sister, and we usually end up drunk by the end of the night. Sure, it's been three years, but the pain is still there. It's fresh and raw and it hurts like hell.
The X-men think I'm over her. I'm sure they know I still miss her. All of us do. But when I started seeing Paige, most of them were glad for me to move on. Except Cannonball. He got over it eventually and we actually started getting along okay. We both really tried because we wanted Paige to be happy. Then, one night Paige and I were arguing over something stupid. I don't even remember what it was now. I ended up calling her Betsy. She looked like I had slapped her across her pretty face. I apologized. She accepted. But things went downhill from there. I think we lasted about a month after that. She's with some new guy now. A flatscan named Anthony. He seems nice enough. He hangs around the mansion all the time and doesn't mind mutants. I keep an eye on him whenever he's around though. I may not love Paige like I loved Betsy, but I care for her deeply and I owe it to her. I may as well watch out for her. I couldn't do that with Betsy.
She was one of a kind. I had her. I let her go. And God, I miss her. Her beautiful eyes, her silky purple hair. The shape of her face. Her smile. The color and texture of her skin. Her tiny ears. Her silken tongue. Her full lips. The taste of her mouth. The taste of her skin. The way she laughed. The rare occasion when she cried. Every detail is burned into my memory, and yet sometimes it's so hard for me to recall her face. I feel as if I'm losing her again every time I have to pull out an old photograph just to refamiliarize myself with her features. And every time I pull out another picture I can feel my heart breaking.
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Okay, that's it. Just a little Warren angst. I know I told y'all that I'd have Somebody Else's Song updated pretty quick, but I was getting ready to post it and I reread it and decided that it sucked. So basically, I'm startin' over from scratch with the next chapter. I'll be done by Wednesday, I hope. Anyhow, let me know how I did with this one. It's my first X-Men fic without Rogue and Remy as main characters. :P Oh and the rest of the lyrics to "Somewhere Out There" are below.
Much Love,
Alyx
"Somewhere Out There"
Last time I
talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for this sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see, yeah
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity, yeah
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails, I'll wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see, yeah
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity, yeah
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there