Disclaimer: Fox has everything worth anything…eh the OC! I own nothing, maybe the freaky bits in this fanfic.

Author's Note: Teehee I'm off to go home to Holland, so I'll be MIA for a bit (have to seduce me some pretty Dutch boys) So anyway, here's some new stuff. It's kinda rushed, and weird and eh, I'm not really sure about it. I adore all of you for giving me such sweet reviews on Ch 6, so I really really hope this is alright for y'all. Let me know what you thought. It's a little longer than usual…and uhm hint-age going on. At least I'm hoping it comes off that way. Oh and to Cara, yeah I think that is the first time I had her say his whole name, and remember. So yay you for spotting it, lol! And Alex - he recognized the old bitchiness in her. Now please read…you are all the very very very best, thank you again!! (To my beta-reading angel, you rock the world lady!)

Lost In Babylon

Ch 7

I need you now…
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out
That I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken
Though I've never spoken
I come undone
In this mad season

I feel stupid
But I think I've been catching on
I feel ugly
But I know I still turn you on

Mad season – Matchbox twenty
Brisk fresh air seeps through my skin as we stroll in circles around this cement garden. It doesn't matter though, I couldn't care where I was because everything feels heightened anyway. It's like someone has pricked me with a needle and I'm so enthralled by my own blood I'm finding myself wonder where it's coming from. Only, this doesn't hurt at all.
He doesn't really say anything and I can't find the words I'm looking for. My head must be passing its' limit on activity, and that's ok. This is okay, all of it. His fingers brushing against the back of my hand, making me not worry about scars or pain or any of that…they are just my hands now, not anything special or odd…not holding up memories in their palm.
"I'm glad you visit me," I murmur softly, refusing to dwell on the fact of how childlike I sound. He slows his pace, and I can feel my stomach drop when the thought of him not showing up crosses my mind. "I'd miss you too much if I didn't come." And that's that, my busy head shrieks with joy. He smiles a little, his pretty head of hair bobbing a little for me as he trains his eyes very intensely on mine, and I'm reassured just like that. We don't talk after that, I'm too fearful of saying the wrong things, and perhaps he is too in a way. Maybe he knows that I can't handle anymore today.
In perfect silence I notice things, though I might not look the part, there's still some savvy their wretched meds forgot to eradicate. I breathe in, slow and deliberate in my moves since I hate to miss the chain reaction the dealings of my limbs set forth. It's nice to watch life play out when you are so far removed from it all of the time. Despite all the heady things that overwhelm me sometimes, I try my best to pay attention to things that could become important… that could help me understand things in the future, and perhaps make me just that little bit better.
Pushing all my crumbs together, I try and get myself one savory bite out of all of it. Yet here he is, with his grey outline and his mystery, forcing me to share all the little things I've accumulated over the weeks…months, man it's hard to think about how long I've been in here. I'm not too sure about time sometimes. The only thing that sticks to me is the recognition of that chill traveling through the air. The trees dying outside the window I'm trapped behind, hoping that they'd be smart and hide like I have… I always feel like I've seen too many things die already, an odd thought but one that sticks to me even so. And as I feel the pit of my stomach tremble in anguish, I'm sure only bad things can come of such cold.
It's just December darlin', some discarded memory hisses inside my brain from time to time. Ricocheting endlessly against my eardrums until I actually fear the telltale goose bumps and all the strange dreams it brings along with it. God I wish it would get lost like all the others.
Some people never realize you are sharing something huge with them, something that might be the biggest crumb of all. Seth grabs my hand again, tucking it into the fold of his arm. I look at him for the longest moment, wondering if he sees how big this crumb is. How much this moment could mean to me once those locks shut me in again, once he's left and all the visiting hours have vanished into thin air.
Lax in my move, I press my head against his arm, inhaling the scent of him so it might linger inside my mind for more than this afternoon. I'm certain that he sees it as I do, this sun drenched yet wintry day, full of its contradictions and possibilities. He understands how grand epic seconds are always moving in disguise, never looking the part of what glittering treasure they hold deep inside.
A big sweeping clamor is heard suddenly, startling me from this safe place I'd found myself in. I see the swift moves of white dash across the visiting room, ready to control the mad people as usual. I steal a glance towards Seth, his horrified expression leaving me cold. One of the nurses opens the door and yells for us to come inside, and now I'm really shivering. Don't forget where you are darlin', they would undoubtedly coo once he'd walk out of that door again. And once more I am reminded of my place in this world.
I let my hand slip out of the crook of his arm, not wanting to touch him all of a sudden…maybe I'd taint him and then what good would I have left in my life. Seth seems puzzled by my distance, and I'm too damned confused to explain it to a sane person.
"Hey…" he says in a soft breath, one that is visible in the chilled air around us. "Don't think about that." I watch the remnants of his cloudy words disappear before my eyes, and the screams from inside are slowly getting to me. It's hard to believe them when they vanish like that. Yet Seth is a stubborn man, I'm learning from the determination in his heavy eyes. "All that matters is how we spent the day together. That you weren't thinking of this place at all… please don't start now." I nod, and allow him to take my hand again, leading me into the lair of these beasts again.
I can hardly remember his goodbye because of all the wildness around me. All the madness that I suddenly don't feel as big a part of.
I leave the common room with such a peculiar sensibility I'm almost afraid I might not get to sleep right away as usual. And the thought doesn't shake me as much as it would've before. I'm just not as terrified of being alone with all the ugly noises in this place. Since I have other thoughts to occupy me while they drill their way through my sturdy metal door.
And not the kind of thoughts that speed along like some pesky fruit fly on crack either… These are the kind that flutter and float and soothe and seem endless and beautiful all at once. With the prospect of having some control, I feel my eyes droop and sleep comes so much quicker than I could have hoped.

"You know you should dance more." He gave her a coy smile, one that made his single dimple flash endearingly and almost made her not notice his hand gliding down her back. It nearly made her press herself closer to him and slide more seductively against the sumptuous beats throbbing against her frame.


"You know you should talk less," she grinned again, snootily tilting one brow as she dug herself further into his embrace. There it was, familiar and warm, that pride over the way she could always keep him guessing. Send mixed signals to always keep him on his toes. It was their game, their best dance of all.


He bent his head then, inclining it down just enough so he could meet her fiery gaze levelly. Dark eyes flashed simultaneously, and the air was charged at once. His chocolate curls gracefully tumbled down a little, yet his eyes held something distinctly masterful when he had clearly heard her breath hitch at his closeness.


He knew he had a hold on her, one she was allowing herself to succumb to. Yet just several crystal moments before he could smoothly slant his mouth over hers, the air shivered like it was on fire. Their melodic surroundings wavered in a horrifying moment…the floor turned to liquid and the night sank away in it. No more prospect of sweetness…No more music or dancing…Nothing but a deep echoing dark.


"You know better than that pumpkin!"


Shaking her head sadly, she prayed for the voice to be silent, for things to return, as they had been mere seconds before all this. Simplicity was beyond her grasp, it whispered softly to her and she wept a little. Her tiny frame shivered against the nothingness surrounding her, forgiving herself for what she was about to do. In bitter obedience, she held out her hand anyway, listlessly watching as the pills poured endlessly into her petit palm.


"You can't see him unless you follow the rules." It bellowed once again, a twinge of caring hidden somewhere at its edges. "The rules are there to protect you."


A pang of guilt pressed against her throat, muting her as it sent throbs of fear up and down her body. She couldn't speak, and somehow that didn't matter since she could not fight with reason. She could not rival so much concern, since in some ways she understood.


Suddenly she found herself back in her pink room again, and fatigue was all that raced through her mind.


A dark figure lay in her bed, the silvery moonlight trickling along his handsome features as she remembered him once more. She wanted to reach out. To touch him... Wake him… Tell him everything. About the pills and voices and how she had loved to dance with him.


"Daddy," she whispered softly, "I promise I'll be good." Fixing her eyes onto her full hand, she watched the dots of medicine lay there mutely, foreboding in their silence. "I'll do anything," her voice became more hollow now, as she tried to reach his sleeping form upon her bed. The white pills sank into her skin, slowly, vanishing so she could finally touch him now.


"I'll be so good he'll never ever notice."