CHAPTER EIGHT:

"WEASLEYYYY!!!!!!!!"

"Please, my friends, hide me!!!" Ron begged.

"Quick! Get my Invisibility cloak in my trunk!" Harry hissed so that only Ron could hear.

Ron ran as fast as he can.

"Weasel, run for your life!" Draco said gleefully.

"Do you think he'll be safe?" Hermione asked Harry nervously.

"Sure. Snape can never find him under the you-know-what," Harry replied.

"What are you whispering at?" Parvati asked suspiciously.

"Whispering?" Harry put on an innocent face.

But then, Snape's booming voice was hard to miss. "YOU FAT, BLOATING, DISGUSTING GRYFFINDOR PORTRAIT!!! OPEN THE DOOR, NOOOW!!! I AAAMM A PROOOOFEEEESOOOR!!! PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE FROM SLYTHERIN!!! NOW OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!!!!"

"You think he don't know the password?" George thought out loud.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "He's a professor, George. Of course he knows!" she said matter-of-factly.

"Then-"

"THE BLOODY PASSWORD IS TATTLEBIRD SO LET ME THROUGH! I HAVE A STUDENT TO CATCH!!!...I AM NOT ABUSING STUDENTS!!! AND SO WHAT IF I CALL YOU FAT? IT'S TRUE ANYWAY!!! NOW I COMMAND YOU TO OPEN!!!" Snape was shouting.

"Eeek! One of these days I am so going to have to buy ear plugs..." Lavender muttered.

"What should we do to get rid of him?!" Harry asked bitterly as Snape pounded on the portrait hole.

Draco smirked. "I know! Weasleeeey!!!" he shouted. "Weasleeey!!! He's gone! Snape's gooooneeee!!!!!"

As fast as lightning, Ron came bounding down the stairs. "Really? He's gone for sure?" he said.

"Ye-"

"YOU PORTRAIT! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SING! LET ME THROUGH OR I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU YEARS DURING BLACK'S ESCAPE HAPPEN AGAIN! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Ron's eyes widened in shock "I thought you said..." he said.

"That was Malfoy," Hermione told him.

"I SAID OPEN THE DOOOOORRR!!!!" Snape yelled from outside.

"Someone, do something!" Fred exclaimed as he covered his ears with his hands.

"Ok, I will," Lavender volunteered. "Ron, truth or dare?"

"Lavender, this is not the time!" Harry said.

Lavender ignored him and faced Ron. "So?"

"Truth," Ron replied.

"Is Ronnie becoming a chicken? Ronnie Chicken..." Lavender sang.

Ron turned beet red. "I'm not! Scratch that, I replace truth with dare," he said bravely.

Lavender smiled. "Very good. Now, I know you probably won't forgive me for this, but this is for the benefit of everyone. Ron, I dare you to go out and show yourself to Professor Snape," she told him.

"Weasley, please. You're ruining the view," Draco said as Ron opened his mouth so wide his tonsils can be visibly seen.

"But I CAN'T! Snape's gonna kill me!!!" Ron retorted.

"Sorry, Ron. We don't want to just wait for our eardrums to crack. Go out now," Hermione told him while George muttered, "This is gonna be fun!"

VERY slowly, Ron moved towards the portrait hole and went out.

"I shudder to think what might happen to my dear brother," George said happily.

A second after he said that, they heard a deafening scream that sounded like Ron and loud footsteps indicating that Snape was chasing after him.

Harry tried to ignore all the noise. "Because Ron's, er, unavailable at the moment, I'm just going to call on someone else. Er, Parvati?"

Parvati scowled upon hearing her name being called. "Dare, of course," she replied.

"That's hard...I can't think of one at the moment," Harry said, brows furrowed.

"Oh, Potter, where's your brain?" Draco told him.

"Shut up, Malfoy! Fine! I'm just going to have to pick this one. Er, could you dance in front of everyone?" Harry said.

Parvati paled. "What?"

Draco sighed. "Seriously, Potter! That's all you could think of? Shows how pathetic you really are," he said.

"Stuff it," Harry said, looking a little embarrassed.

"Ok, Parvati, do it now!" Hermione said.

"With or without costume?" Fred asked.

"Without, I guess," Parvati said, almost in a whisper.

"Ok. We'll give you a couple of minutes to figure out your steps and the music," Harry told him.

Several moments later...

"You ready, Parv?" Hermione called.

"Yeah," came Parvati's muffled voice from inside the girls' dormitories.

"Ok, GO!"

Parvati stepped out, her face as white as a ghost. Fred and George whistled while Draco looked around, looking bored.

The background music was hip hop and Parvati did her "best" to follow the rhythm. After she finished...

"Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone had tears in their eyes.

"Oh my gosh!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Pa-parvati...I can't help it! You-you're sooo- AHAHAHA!!!!" Lavender, Parvati's own best friend said through hysterical laughter.

"Patil, I have only one thing to say: Are you a robot?" Draco jeered, laughing so hard he was afraid he would burst.

"You dance like Trevor, Neville's toad!" Fred "complimented" her.

Parvati blushed as red as a tomato. "Shut up! It's not my fault I can't dance well!" she muttered darkly.

"We can see that," Harry said, snickering.

Parvati glared at him.

"Did you even MOVE at all?" Draco piped up, sending everyone in yet another fit of laughter.

"Hmph..." Parvati mumbled, deeply embarrassed. "Fred, truth or dare?"

Fred grinned. "Of course I want dare," he said.

"You asked for it," Parvati said, suddenly becoming happy. "I dare you to kiss Dobby."

All the color from Fred's face disappeared. "WHAT?!!! No way!!!"

He was met by six faces with grins like a Cheshire cat. He gulped. "I guess...I have to do it..." he whispered.

They steered Fred towards the kitchens, where the house elves were working double time.

Draco wrinkled his nose in disgust. "So this is the kitchen...Honestly! It's so dirty and smelly...nothing compared to the one we have on our manor...But of course, you people wouldn't understand, you're too poor and you wouldn't understand the word fancy and-"One look from Hermione silenced him.

"Oh! Look at that piece of cake! It's so not good for my diet! Get it out of my sight! " Lavender said, pointing at a mouth watering, tempting chocolate cake that was instantly stuffed inside George's mouth.

"Oy! Dobby!!!" Harry called through the chaos of house elves running to and fro, serving the group with all kinds of food, much to the dismay of Parvati and Lavender.

"Mister Harry Potter sir," Dobby immediately said, making his way towards them. "It is so good to see you, sir."

Harry smiled. "Me too. How are you now, Dobby?" he asked.

"Fine, sir, fine. Headmaster Dumbledore sir had been very kind to Dobby. And-"Dobby's eyes widened when he caught sight of Draco.

Draco smirked. "Long time no see, pal. I didn't know you know Harry, my best friend," he said, putting an arm on Harry's shoulder.

Harry looked mortified. "Eww!!! Get your hands off me, Malfoy! If you hadn't had girlfriends, I would be thinking you're gay!" he exclaimed.

"Gay?!" Draco said, appalled. "Who're you calling gay?! Excuse me?! I'm 100% man!"

"Mister Harry Potter, sir..." Dobby started. "Sir must not be angry with Dobby... but it is wise for sir to not be with Young Master Malfoy. Young Master Malfoy is very evil, sir. Young Master always plots bad things about kind Harry Potter, sir," the poor elf stammered.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Thanks for stating the obvious, Dobby," he said boredly.

"Don't worry, Dobby, I don't associate with the likes of him," Harry assured Dobby.

"Right. So can we please go back to the game now?" Parvati said impatiently.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Lavender said. "So, anyway, do it now Fred." She glanced at Fred who was looking disappointed that he hadn't escaped his dare.

"Go bro," George cheered through a mouthful of chicken.

Fred inhaled and walked towards Dobby. "Hey," he said in an unusually squeaky voice.

"Mister Weasley, sir," Dobby greeted courteously.

"I...uh..." Fred stammered.

"Do it," Harry whispered behind him.

With a flash of lightning, it was over. Fred performed his deed and the others roared with laughter.

Dobby's eyes were as wide as plates. "But...Mister Weasley, sir..."

Fred blushed as red as a tomato. "Do-don't worry, Dobby. It's...uh...a new way of saying hello. You know...It-it's not what you think...really...I do it with people all the time..." he trailed off.

Dobby, being the fool he is, believed him. "Oh. Dobby understands, Mister Weasley, Dobby does," the elf said, sending more laughter among Harry and the others.

"Right...So, um, guys...can we like, leave?" Fred said.

"Of course," Harry said after the laughter died down.

"Hey! I'm not yet finished with this pudding!" George complained. But they dragged him out of the kitchens anyway.

"Oh my God! That was totally hilarious!" Hermione exclaimed once they were on their way back to Gryffindor tower.

"And this comes from the founder of SPEW?" Draco said sarcastically.

Hermione glared at him. "That's S.P.E.W; you buffoon!" she retorted.

"That's S.P.E.W!" Draco imitated in a high pitched, girly-girly voice.

"I do not sound like that!" Hermione protested, looking like she's ready to kill Draco.

"Hey guys, chill!" Harry told them.

Hermione huffed and moved as far away as Draco as possible while George chanted, "Fred's in love with a house-elf" over and over again until Fred personally whacked him on the head with his fist.

"Hmm...I wonder what happened to Ron..." Parvati thought out loud.

"Maybe he was thrown off in hell," Draco suggested happily. "Or already at the graveyard, or is already being digested inside Snape's stomach or-"

"Ewww!!! Stop it, Malfoy! You are being waaay too gross!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Mudblood, do you know how-"

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!"

They all turned around and saw Ron running towards them with Snape trailing behind him, yet again.

"I'll bet 5 galleons that Snape will catch Ronnie," George whispered in Fred's ear.

"Oh, c'mon, don't you trust your brother? Well, I'm betting 6 galleons that Ron can escape," Fred replied back, grinning.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Does Ron look like a racing horse?" she told them, sending the twins laughing.

"Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!" Ron screamed. "Help!!!!!" His clothes were already ripped and he had lots of bruises all over his body. He looked like a zombie.

"Weasley, I command you to stooooop!!!!!!" Snape yelled.

Draco yawned, looking bored. Parvati and Lavender, overreacting as usual, clung on to Harry as though Ron and Snape's screams are making them weak.

"Somebody, do something about it!" Lavender said shrilly while grasping Harry's hand.

Harry tried to shake it off but Lavender's grip was too strong. He then pulled out his wand using his other hand and pointed it at Snape. "Petrificus Totalus!" Snape froze.

"Potter? You performed it? That's a miracle! Let's celebrate!" Draco said sarcastically.

Harry glared at him.

"Oh, Harry! My savior! Thanks so much, buddy!" Ron told Harry, patting him on the shoulder.

"Harry! You attacked a teacher!" Hermione said in disbelief as if it was the most forbidden thing in the world.

"Oh, c'mon, Hermione. He was about to roast poor Ron here," Harry told her while Ron nodded his head vigorously.

"See? He did escape Snape. So you give me 5 galleons," Fred told George.

"Oh, no I won't. He cheated!" George insisted while Hermione kept on shouting, "Harry, you just attacked a teacher!"

"I am so gonna pay you making me do that dare! Malfoy, truth or dare?" Ron interrupted.

Draco smirked. "Dare of course," he said carelessly.

Ron grinned evilly. "Sorry, Malfoy, this isn't just your lucky day..." he thought.

"Your dare is..."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hey everyone! Thanks sooo much for reviewing!!! I love you! I'm glad you still find it funny even though I don't think so. Forgive me for updating for soooo long...I know I made a lot of you impatient. Yeah, yeah, I know, this chapter is a total disappointment. I mean, it isn't really funny and the dares are so lame. Agree? Lol. I knew you would. What can I say? I was such in a bad mood when I wrote this chapter, I didn't even check my grammar. Neways, I hope you still review, flames or not. Thanks in advance. Oh, and I just remembered, for that reviewer, I forgot the name, sorry, who was complaining about the dare Harry did (am I right?) I am soooo sorry it disturbed you. I had no idea! Don't worry...I'll try for it to not happen again. Review!!!