An Infinite Improbability
"Padfoot, she doesn't fancy me."
Sirius chuckled, mirth in his eyes. "No one said anything about her fancying you, Prongs. Of course she doesn't fancy you." I scowled; he grinned even more, reminding me of my never-ending curiosity of how he ever became my friend, more so the best one. "All I'm saying is she doesn't hate you as much," he continued. "So maybe you should try asking her out again."
"And feel miserable and rejected all over again? Forget it."
He grinned. "That, my friend, is a pessimist's delight. You're being theatrical."
Remus looked up from his book. "Stop trying to interfere, Padfoot. Let destiny take its course."
I snorted. "There's no 'course' to take, Moony. In fact, I would like you all to please discourage me. Tell me I'm just infatuated, even lustful. Tell me that I only want to get her in bed. Then get me a girlfriend. Hopefully that's going to make me realize that nothing romantic is about to happen between me and Evans for the next couple of decades."
"There's always the decade after that, you know," said Peter, who I frowned at.
With a gruff voice, I said, "Hand me my wand will you?" to anyone who would listen.
Sirius did. "Are you going to hex me?" he asked warily before giving me the wand.
"No. I need to wrap a present."
"You've already sent out your presents."
"It's for Evans."
He smiled, amused. "Didn't you just say there's nothing romantic going on?"
I rolled my eyes. "This gift does not have anything to do with romance. Can't you see I'm trying to be nice?"
"Sure." He snorted. "What is it then?"
I showed him and he laughed stupidly. "You're giving her a bracelet? Is that real? That's real silver! Nothing romantic and you're giving her silver. Prongs, nothing romantic is a bag of BB's Every Flavor Beans, not a silver bracelet, which—" He grabbed the jewelry from me, looking it over with a scrupulous eye for detail. "—quite apparently cost you some."
"It doesn't matter."
I saw Remus and Peter watching us with grins plastered on their faces.
Sirius continued. "James, buddy, having to pay for something like this and not caring is definitely an indication that you are hoping for romance. I know you know it, too. Quit acting dumb."
"Shut up."
He grinned happily. "You told us to discourage you, mate. I'm just being a good friend."
I sighed and snatched the bracelet, carefully tucking it into its box and magically wrapping it.
* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
How hard could it be? I'm sure it's not very easy, but it can't be that hard… I mean… I'm over that one time back when I was six when my mum didn't buy me that new broomstick…Comet 150, I think it was called (I have the Nimbus 1500 right now, so I'm pretty happy), or when my dad refused to take me to that game between the Tornadoes and the Falcons, or when grandma didn't give me my Easter eggs because I stole her wand, and who could forget that time when Sirius stole my pretend wand? Got over that like there was no tomorrow.
So…I'm sure I'll get over Lily Evans. In fact, I'm willing to bet I've already gotten over her.
I have gotten over Lily. I mean…Evans.
I have gotten over Evans. She is a thing of the past. Or rather, she never happened, which is really quite nearer to the truth.
How I wish though…
Ahem. I have gotten over Lily.
No! Evans! Evans! I have gotten over Evans!
Okay… breathe. Let's do that again… I, James Potter, have gotten over Lil—
Damn it!
I grumbled and looked around the dormitory to find something that can distract me from thinking about anything comprehensible. But, as if to further prove that I was fighting a losing battle, I found a picture of her waving and smiling at me. I walked over to my bedside table and put the accursed thing inside my desk drawer, where it shall be safely tucked away from my sight for all eternity. And I mean that.
But then I saw the pencils she had given me yesterday. I grimaced and picked them up. Without looking, I threw them into the trash bin and walked away, fearing that I will probably be compelled to dig in the trash and pick them up again later.
Consequently, I began putting away all Lil—Evans memorabilia that I could find in that dormitory. There was that other picture of her that hung over my bed, hid another picture that I kept under my pillow, and got rid of a page of History of Magic notes in her handwriting that I had smuggled years ago.
That reminds me…I was pretty pathetic back in those days. Honestly...stealing her notes? From the most boring class invented? That's just lame.
Anyway, the raid was kept up for a couple more minutes. And, as a last touch, I shoved the present I was going to give her under my bed, amidst a pile of used, unlaundered socks.
I smiled. Lily-free.
I mean…Evans.
* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
Right before dinner that night, Sirius came in and paused in mid-step to watch me. His eyes snapped from me, to my study, my bed, my walls, then back to me. I could almost hear his mind roaring in crazed hilarity. The git.
I took a few seconds to scowl at him before going back to what I had been previously doing, which was smoothing out and rereading Lily's 3-year-old notes on Goblin rebellion.
Don't.Ask.
He looked over the 'Prongs District' of the dormitory, scrutinizing every tiny millimeter of change that had happened over the time that he was gone. He smiled upon seeing Lily's Christmas present placed neatly on my nightstand, rewrapped in a cleaner, sock-free packaging with new, more exquisite ribbons. Beside it—where Lily's picture had once stood before my raid—Lily's picture, well, stood. Again.
I saw him glance at the portion of wall over my bed, where Lily's other picture hung—once more. He plopped down beside me and casually picked up my pillow. He sniggered happily as he saw the smaller picture of Lily back in its old nesting place.
He grinned at me.
I creased my eyebrows and, attempting to regain my dignity, or at least a tiny bit of it, spoke to my defense. "I was not trying to clear out or erase every semblance of Lily Evans in this room. I was just tidying up."
He clapped me on the shoulder and tried to look compassionate. He stood up and walked over to the trash, bending down to pick something up. "Sorry, mate." He held up a pencil—a solitary pencil—yellow, sharp, and loathsome. He tossed it carelessly on my desk, to land beside the other pencils—the ones that I did not forget to pick up. "You've done this 'raid' twice before." He grinned sympathetically. "Come eat dinner with us, you pathetic idiot."
I scowled and grudgingly followed him out. After a while, I blurted out, "What am I going to do, Sirius?"
He looked at me strangely, then said, "Give up?"
I groaned. "What do you think I've been trying to do for the past few months? …I just can't do that."
He stared blankly at me and chuckled. "Then don't, stupid."
That made me feel really depressed.
* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
Christmas morning came just as I expected it to. I was happy, giddy and apprehensive. Happy because of the obvious reason that it was Christmas; giddy because Christmas does that to me; apprehensive because I was having second thoughts on giving Lily her present (yes, I have gone back to calling her Lily—in my thoughts at least). But then again second thoughts are pretty useless now because the gift is probably already sitting by her bedside.
I shudder upon imagining as to how she would react to me giving her jewelry. There are just so many emotions to choose from—appreciation, happiness, anger, curiosity, denial…rejection? I hope not.
Sirius tossed a present at me, disturbing my thoughts. He has a knack for doing that.
"It's a present from Lily, Prongs."
My head snapped down to stare at the gift. Ah…a bag of chocolates.
"We all got one," said Peter.
I opened the bag and dug inside for a frog. True that a bag of sweets isn't nearly enough for a bracelet, but it's from Lily so I couldn't care less. I got my frog, but I also felt something smooth and thin in there. I was so sure it was a sugar quill, but I took it out anyway for inspection. I gaped at what I saw.
I quickly hid it in my pocket, not wanting to overreact. I moved down from my bed to sit beside Sirius, Remus, Peter, and the pile of presents in front of them. I took the bag of sweets Peter got from Lily. After a thorough inspection and many suspicious looks from Pete, I put it down, my stomach tying up in knots.
I proceeded to check Remus' and Sirius' bags. Nothing odd came out. Both were stuffed with just chocolates and candies. No one else got what she gave me.
I would have passed out had Sirius not thrown a series of jellybeans right at my face, effectively distracting me from my heavenly nausea.
"What's wrong with you this time?" he asked, unkindly.
I took out the precious little trinket from my pocket and showed it to him.
His eyes widened. "Who gave you that?"
I grinned. I must have looked incredibly foolish. "Evans."
"Which one?" asked Remus.
"What do you mean which one?" I demanded. "Do we know another Evans?"
"Well, I sure don't, but you might. I mean…Lily can't have given you that."
I frowned at him. "Well what if she did? It was in the bag. I was looking for a frog and I found it."
"You're really telling the truth, aren't you." Sirius said—more of a statement than a question.
"Of course I'm telling the truth!" I cried. "Accuse me of lying when I'm lying, but don't you dare accuse me of lying when I'm not!"
Peter looked curiously up at me. "What?"
All three of us ignored him.
Sirius gawked at the broomstick I held in my hand. "It's beautiful," he murmured.
"Let me see that, Sirius," Remus said, his voice soft.
Sirius took a couple more seconds before handing it over to Remus, ever so gently.
"Guys," Peter whispered. "It's only a broomstick. You're all acting very odd."
Sirius turned to look at him. "Correction, Pete. It's a miniature Nimbus 1500. It was very precisely made. The varnish exact and the twigs perfectly aligned."
Remus sighed. "It's so realistic." He ran a light finger through the slim handle before releasing it. It hovered in midair for a second before rising up and flying on its own.
Sirius put a hand to his mouth. "So incredibly graceful."
I, of course, was deliriously happy and incapable of any form of speech at that moment.
I stood up and caught it, giving it my very own inspection. It was so tiny, yet so marvelously, inconceivably magnificent.
"You have to go thank her, Jamesie."
I grinned and walked over to the door, confident about the prospect of talking to Lily.
I paused. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I stepped back, and it was a good thing I did too because if I didn't, the door would have smacked me right in the face as it flew open.
Lily Evans, clad in green pajamas, stood at the door, an attractive and irresistible scowl on her face. She held up a hand, brandishing the silver bracelet right at my nose.
"What is this, Potter?"
My smile vanished.
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A/N *shifty eyes* I only updated now…because… *groan* I wish I had an excuse but I don't. I'm just crap. Go ahead, hit me.
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duva Yes! I love your fics! They're all incredible!
First Light of Eos Thank you! James will call her Lily…someday. :o)
child-of-scorpio Haha. Thank you. I hope you didn't do anything violent with that pickaxe.
LogicalRaven Thank you! I'm glad you like that the relationship still hasn't changed. *winks right back*
aurora-borealis Oh don't we all wish we had our very own quill-providing James Potter? :o) Thank you.
FadingSlowly You! *points* I love your stories! I've even attempted to read the French version of "Dancing"…just for kicks. Thank you! Oh, and if I might advertise a bit…I have a Remus fic too. (Titou Moony's reading it ^^) R&R if you have time. :o)
Cowgirl Up There you go, an update! Finally!
Kait Yay! You updated! I've read it and it was awesome! Anyway, thank you!
Blabbering Genius? That was genius? *blush* Thank you! :o)