Title: Meant to Be- chapter 14
Disclaimer: I realize it has been a while, but I still do not own Third Watch.
Author's Note: Anybody remember me? (Dodges flying bottles) I know it's been a really long time since I've updated, but I believe my muse might be back. Shh.. speak quietly so we don't scare him away. Anywhoo, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for all the people who've been so supportive. It is greatly appreciated.

It had been four weeks since Kim had broken up with Jimmy. The first couple of days didn't even feel real. Jimmy would wake up and expect Kim to be there, only to wake up and experience her rejection all over again. He would have the urge to call her a thousand times in a day just to hear her voice and continually have to remind himself that he couldn't.

Seeing her at work was even worse. Most of the time, if he really tried, he could force her out of his mind by busying himself with random things, but at work, there was no escaping her. It seemed that everywhere he turned, she was there. It was almost as if the harder he tried to stay away from her, the more often he ran in to her. Usually, quite literally. In the chaos of the firehouse, they would bump in to each other or end up having to talk to each other about something work related.

The first week was of course the worst. Between the two of them there were a lot of emotions flying around. Confusion, hurt, pain, fear, regret, longing... they were all there, but neither one of them let on about what they were feeling.

The second week was slightly less excruciating. Kim was finally starting to look at Jimmy when she spoke, and he was not fighting the urge to avoid her completely as much. By the time the forth week rolled around, they had actually started talking to each other on their own accord instead of when work required it. They were even starting to joke around with each other again.

To be honest, Jimmy was afraid to feel comfortable around Kim again, heaven forbid he accidentally reveal to Kim that he was still madly in love with her. She might run away screaming or something. He really was trying to keep his distance, but they were starting to loosen up around each other. It was almost like before...except not.
"Deep thoughts?" Alex smirked, walking up to Jimmy.

"Always," he smiled tiredly.

"You look like shit," Alex stated matter-of-factly.

Jimmy chuckled, "Don't hold back Alex, tell me how you really feel."

"Look, I know these last couple of weeks haven't been easy for you and I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk or anything, I'm here for you. I'm your friend too, you know," she gave him a small smile.

Jimmy looked at her skeptically, " Why the sudden concern for my well-being? I thought you hated me as much as Kim does."

Alex looked flustered for a moment, "Why would you think that?"

"You've been avoiding me almost as well as Kim. I figured you thought I actually did sleep with Melanie," Jimmy smiled humorlessly. Alex looked uncomfortable at the mention of Kim's sister's name.

Jimmy chuckled, "You didn't actually think I thought you didn't know what happened with us? I know you two have become close."

"You know, it really blows being the friend of a couple. You always end up having to choose a side," Alex looked at him and sighed, "I don't think that you would do something that stupid again. I mean, I have doubts about your intelligence sometimes, but that's dumb, even for you."

Jimmy laughed, "Well thank you."

Alex smiled, but became serious, "She doesn't hate you, you know." Jimmy looked away from her, his smile faltering just a little, "This is hard for her too."
Jimmy rubbed the back of his head and straightened up. He was starting to get that sick feeling in his stomach, happened every time he thought about what had happened between them. "Thanks for the concern, but I'm ok. I should get back to work though."

"Ok," Alex smiled sadly. She shook her head and watched him walk away. She hoped he would remember her offer to talk.

"Just have dinner with me again. I swear, that's all I'll expect."

Kim sighed on the other end of the phone. This was the third time he had asked her out. "How many times do I have to say no before you'll give up?"

"You should know by now that I'm not a quitter. Look, I'm not asking you to marry me, it's just dinner. People have dinner everyday. It's quite normal you know."

Kim had to smile at his persistence, "Just dinner?"

"Just dinner."

Kim sighed and covered her face, "I'm probably really going to regret this, but...ok."

"Alright. That's great. I'll see you later then."

"Bye Derek."

"Derek?" Alex raised an eyebrow at her friend. "As in 'annoyingly persistent Derek', as in 'I'm- too- good- looking- for- you- to- pass- up- this- unbelievable-opportunity-Derek'"

Kim smiled and rolled her eyes, "Yes."

"I thought you told him you didn't want to see him again," Alex frowned at her.
Kim sighed for the millionth time that morning, "I did. Apparently he doesn't take no for an answer."

"Yes and that is exactly the kind of guy that you want to be alone with," she stated sarcastically.

"It's just dinner Alex. I have to eat. Besides, he's paying," she smiled.

Alex didn't smile back, "Are you gonna tell Jimmy this time?"

Kim glared at her, "I don't need to ask permission to go out on a date, Alex. We're not together anymore."

"So you're just gonna let him find out on his own then. That's nice," Alex murmured.

"Why are you being like this with me? Are you trying to make me feel guilty? Because it's working."

"Kim, I'm sorry."

"Why shouldn't I go out with him? He has a steady job and he's nice and he likes me. These are all very good qualities. It's not like Jimmy would ask me if it was alright if he went out. Why should I have to tell him anything?" Kim was starting to get worked up.

Alex raised her hands in surrender, "You're right. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything."

"Damn right I don't! I'm a grown woman with a kid and I shouldn't have to justify my actions to anyone but myself. I want to get on with my life!"

" Kim-"

"I just want to get on with my life Alex," she whispered out.

Alex sat down on the bunk with Kim and put her arm around her shoulders, "You're right. You should get on with your life. You're doing the healthy thing."

"Then why do I feel like shit?" Kim glanced at Alex, tears shining in her eyes.
"Because getting on with your life really sucks sometimes," Alex smiled sympathetically.

"I can't wait around for him forever, you know? I feel like I've been standing in one spot for the last ten years and watching my life pass me by. I wanna stop watching. I wanna be a part of it, you know."

"I'm sorry for making you feel guilty. Derek sounds like a nice guy," Alex wrinkled her nose in mock disgust.

Kim laughed and brushed away a tear that fell, "I was already feeling guilty. You just pushed me over the edge," she teased.

"Hey, this is what I do. I'm the best friend. I meddle," she smiled.

"Maybe I should call and cancel," Kim's brow wrinkled in self-doubt.

"I think you should do whatever you think is best for you. And if what's best is going out with creepy- I mean charming Derek, then go," she smiled.

Kim laughed, "He's not creepy!"

Alex stood up and moved for the stairs, "No, of course not." Kim shook her head and followed her down the stairs, wondering how disastrous of a day this was going to be.

Kim walked cautiously around the firehouse looking for Jimmy. There was a lull and everyone was just sitting around, exhausted from that morning's calls, and waiting for the next round to start. Kim was going to take advantage of the break in the chaos and let Jimmy know about the date that she had that night. With any luck the sirens would go off just as they were about to start fighting, and that would be the end of that conversation.

She found him sitting at the table trying to fix something on his helmet. Thankfully, he was alone and she wouldn't have to pull him away; making a spectacle of themselves. "Hey there."

Jimmy looked up and smiled. He couldn't help it. It was the natural reaction that he had to her entering a room. "Hey yourself."

"Kim nervously played with her hands, "Do you mind if I sit down for a minute?"

"You can sit down for more than a minute if you want," Jimmy teased her.

Kim smiled, glad he seemed to be in a good mood. She was sure that that wasn't going to last long. "So, I was wondering if you would take Joey for the night. I kind of have some plans."

Jimmy shrugged, "Sure. I'd be glad to take him an extra day."

"Great," Kim smiled. They looked at each other for a while, the silence becoming very uncomfortable. Kim had hoped he would prod her about where she had to go, but it seemed that she was going to have to bring that up herself.

"So... have you been doing ok? We haven't really talked in the last couple days," she forced her smile to stay in place.

"I'm good. You?" he continued to fiddle with his helmet.

He really wasn't making this easy. He was the conversationalist of the two of them and this newfound monosyllabic thing was not working for her. "I'm good. Kind of busy, but good."

"Good," he looked up briefly to smile at her.

Kim forced herself to not sigh in exasperation. He was just gonna make her come out and say it. She had wanted to ease in to the subject, but apparently he was not up for small talk today. Jimmy looked up again to find her looking at him with a strange look on her face. He was trying desperately to stay casual, but she seemed to be in the mood to talk. "So I'll pick Joey up from school and take him back to my place then," he said, hoping to bring this awkward moment to an end.

"Yeah, that's great. I would pick him up myself, but I need to get ready before I go out tonight," she said, praying that he would take the bait.

"Not a problem," Jimmy smiled and went back to the helmet. Kim wanted to grab that helmet from him and beat him with it. She struggled to maintain a composed look on her face, her hands fidgeting more nervously than before.

Jimmy glanced up at her and raised his eyebrows in question, "Was that all you needed to ask me?"

"Um, yeah. I guess," she smiled, signs of frustrations showing on her face.

Jimmy sat back in his chair and looked at her in confusion, "Kim, I get the feeling that there's something you wanna add here."

"No! I just... I'm just checking with you. You know, to make sure that it's okay," she fumbled.

"It's no problem. Really. I didn't have any plans tonight or anything," he shrugged.

Kim sighed, "Jimmy I have to tell you something."

"Yeah, I figured. You wouldn't still be sitting here with that look on your face if you didn't."

"What look?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"The look you get when you're looking for a way to say something, but can't find one and hoping that I'll say something to make it easier for you," he smirked at the scandalized look on her face.

"I don't have a look," she protested, irritated that he knew her so well. Irritated that he knew she was having a hard time and wasn't doing anything to make it easier for her.

" So then you didn't need to tell me anything?" he raised an eyebrow, know he was being difficult.

"Well yeah, but...," Kim was completely thrown off balance.

Jimmy leaned his elbows on the table and leaned forward a little, giving her his complete attention, "So go ahead."

Kim narrowed her eyes slightly, seeing that he was enjoying her discomfort. Suddenly, she didn't feel so bad about what she was going to tell him, "I'm going on a date tonight."

Of all the things that he was expecting her to say, that was not one of them. It felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. The mischievous look in his eye quickly died and his whole body tightened with tension. "What?" he asked, hoping he had heard her wrong.

Kim instantly felt bad again. The look on his face was heartbreaking, "I'm going on a date."

Jimmy looked at her blankly, "With who?"

"You don't know him. He's just someone I met a couple weeks ago," Kim shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Have you been out with him before?" Jimmy asked, knowing he wasn't going to like the answer.

"Just one time."

Jimmy looked away from her, trying to gather his thoughts, "Wow. You really don't waste time." Kim forced herself not to respond to his dig. She knew he was having a hard time dealing with what she had told him, and let it go. Jimmy returned his gaze to her, "Why are you telling me this?"

"I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else," she stated simply. Those sirens could go off now anytime, and she would be happy. She needed to get away from the hurt look in his eyes.

"That's really nice of you," Jimmy mumbled and stood up.

"Jimmy, I didn't tell you to hurt you."

"No? Then what, are you asking for my blessing or something?" he snapped at her.

"I'm not asking for anything. I just thought you deserved to hear it from me, but I guess it wouldn't have mattered either way," she snapped back, turning to leave.

"Kim stop," Jimmy gently grabbed her arm and turned her toward him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, but how did you expect me to act? Do you want me to be happy for you, because honestly Kim, I haven't quite reached that stage yet."

Kim sighed and looked down, "I'm sorry. I tried to think of any easier way to tell you, but there really isn't one. Hallmark doesn't really make cards for this."

Jimmy smirked, "At least not one that I'd want to read."

Kim looked up at him and gave him a small smile, "I really didn't want to hurt you."

Jimmy pulled her to him slightly, his hand still on her arm, "Then don't go out with this schmuck."

As luck would have it, the sirens did go off, calling them back to work; saving Jimmy from begging and Kim from trying to explain herself. Jimmy sighed and looked into her eyes, knowing she was still going to go out on this date. Suddenly feeling very tired, his arm slipped from her and he backed away, "Have a good time, Kimmy." That said, he turned and ran to catch up with the guys.

Kim just watched him move away from her. All things considered, that had gone pretty smoothly. He hadn't yelled and screamed like she thought he would. He had actually handled things quite well. So why did she feel so disappointed?