Disclaimer: I do not have any ownership to the X-men.
A/N: Here's the last instalment to the New to Old series. This time starring the Acolytes, they haven't got hold of any particular episode, as I can't find an episode starring them all. Sorry if I've killed the accents.
Thankyou all who reviewed the last chapter. Also cheers to everyone who has been reading this mini series. Hope you all enjoyed the ride.
New to Old – The Acolytes
It was a normal day at the Acolyte base. St John was playing with his precious fire, which was his normal sense of entertainment. Remy was playing solitaire with his naked ladies card set. Piotr was sitting quietly in a corner reading a book. Magneto was no doubt in his office planning world domination. Mastermind was about, but no-one knew where. Then there was Sabretooth purring happily, while playing with a ball of yarn. Sabretooth wasn't actually doing this, but that was St Johns explanation for him hiding in his room.
"Yes! Ah won again!" Stated Remy happily while gathering his cards.
"You always win, chum. Cause you cheat." Scoffed St John.
"Now why would Ah do that?"
Before St John could reply, there was a knock on door. Magneto shot out of his office upon hearing the knock.
"Which one of you idiots called for pizza this time? This is supposed to be a secret base!" He demanded.
The men looked around at each other for a few seconds, and shook their heads. Magneto scowled at them and headed for the door.
Standing there was a post boy. "Hi. I've got a package for a Mister Magneto."
Magneto became slightly flustered and grabbed the package out the boys arms. Then he signed for it, then slammed the door.
"Yes. This is a secret base." smirked St John. Remy began to chuckle and stopped as Magneto sent him a death glare.
"Piotr. Could you gather the others and then meet me in my office?" Before either St John or Remy could comment he looked at them. "You two as well."
Moments later...
All the Acolytes were gathered in Magnetos office. Paper work was scattered across his desks, which appeared to be the floor plans of the X-men mansion.
"You must be wondering, why I received a package today?"
"Not particularly." Muttered Remy
"I found a site on the Internet which was selling a video archive on our nemesis. We are now going watch said archive, to find out more about them."
"But don't we know already?" Asked Piotr.
"That's enough. I am your boss. And you will watch it if I say so."
The rest of the Acolytes began grumbling under their breath, as Magneto started the film.
After the episode had finished...
Everyone sat silent until St John spoke.
"Remy? Are you really an x-man?"
"No. But if Ah was would it be a surprise? Ah am a thief." Remy stated.
"Also you don't speak with a Cajun accent. But that Remy did." Said Piotr.
"Ah thought Ah did have an accent?" Remy frowned.
"Nah, you don't mate. You speak with a slant. Also you don't speak in third person." Added St John.
"I don't. Maybe I should. Cause that sounded pretty good."
"I looked the same. There was nothing different at all. Which means he is definitely me." stated Magneto.
"I sounded like that crocodile hunter bloke. That was scary."
"I didn't join Magneto." Piotr sighed softly, a slight smile on his lips.
"I tried to seduce Jean Grey. I think I'm scarred for life." Mastermind shuddered.
"But you didn't look like a monkey." laughed Remy.
"I do not look like a monkey!"
"Yeah you do mate." Piped up St John.
"I do not!"
"That's enough!" Shouted Magneto. "Mastermind you do look like monkey!"
Mastermind slumped down in his seat, ignoring everyone.
"Just how hot was Rogue? That's it, I'm definitely gonna go and charm her." stated Remy.
"You do that mate. And find out if Storm is single." said St John.
"Well, I'm going to get my money back. We didn't find out anything useful!" Magneto ripped the tape out the player and stuffed it back into its case, then stormed out the room.
While the rest were talking Sabretooth had left the room. He was now standing on a cliff on the outskirts of town. He shouted loudly.
"I LOOKED LIKE I WAS NAKED!!!!!"
Meanwhile over at the X-men Institute, Logan suddenly dropped to the ground during a training session, and began to shudder.
There we go the final chapter up. Let me know what you think. I might attempt to write a another comedy sequence, once I find an appropriate muse. I'm thinking maybe a butt-naked Remy. ::sigh::