On the driveway, Ryan felt a bit of déjà vu. He was trying to keep the cigarette in his mouth from being seen by the people in the house. But it had been almost a year since the first time he had done that. Almost a year since he first came to the Cohen house. Almost a year since he first left Theresa all alone in Chino.

The sky was dark, not in a sort of beautiful poetic way, but covered in darkness and everything darkness represented. Theresa had never liked the dark. Brightness, lights, sunshine, candles- that was her thing. It wasn't a phobia of the night or the color black, it was just her preference. Ryan didn't really have a preference but he knew Theresa had a point. Brightness and light were always associated with the color white. White was everything they wanted. Not racially or in terms of fashion or even the color of their house. White symbolized their dreams. In their lives, they didn't want much. Money, love- that all faded. They wanted peace. They wanted out of the gray areas and into the light. Peace. Together.

Ryan sighed as he thought of her. The feel of her body was still on his palms, her kisses fresh on his mouth, his every breath inhaled her signature scent of vanilla. And as he thought of her, all of her, he didn't feel comfort or contentment. Not the way he thought it would be after seeing her again. He was feeling like hell had just bounced across him wearing soccer cleats. And he felt like he deserved more of it. All his life, he swore never to become like those men in his old neighborhood that beat their wives or their kids. The ones that screwed around and spent their money on bottles of cheap gin and tattoos of symbols of strength. Those were the types of men who ended up where Trey was now. Not for stealing cars or money, but for hurting people. Taking a life in a street fight, forcing themselves on the wrong women. Just to prove they were strong.

Ryan didn't care about strong. Well, as a testosterone filled male, he cared about being strong. But he didn't want to flaunt his strength, not in hurtful actions or ink on his flesh. He didn't want any unnecessary attention or any unnecessary violence. However, he knew he was strong. And moreover, he knew he was stronger than those bastards that made women cry and beg for mercy. He was better than the men that forced nothing but fear unto others.

But now he felt like he had turned into them. He loved Theresa. He loved her. He loved everything about her. He loved the memories. Yet, he had become a man that she had to push away. That cornered her in a bathroom and tried to force himself on her. The cigarette in his mouth began to taste sour. Remembering the fear in her eyes as she pushed him away made him gag.

Ryan was ashamed of himself. And he knew that it would be better for the both of them, if he never spoke to her again- at the risk of hurting her again. But he couldn't do that. The very essence of his being told him that he needed to find her, to explain, to talk and most importantly to apologize.

Because he knew she would forgive him, that's just who she was. That's just how they were. He was Ryan and she was Theresa and they always forgave.

XXX

A little over a month ago, when Ryan came home on Sunday afternoon, his Chino $40 dollars a week home, he'd find Theresa on their bed. In nothing but her underwear. Usually, she had something like a pitcher of KoolAid on the night table. The solid pieces of ice would slowly melt away into the sweet liquid as she slept on top of the covers, with her clothes cast aside on Ryan's side of the bed. He knew that she was probably dreaming of snow or at least air conditioning, and bits of guilt began to form in his mouth. Letting them sit there for a moment, he would stare at her pregnant form and wish their lives were different.

But they weren't. He was Ryan and she was Theresa and they were playing the game with the cards they had been dealt. So, he swallowed up the guilt and picked up the pitcher of KoolAid. Maliciously, he'd smile as he placed the cold object against her skin and watched as she jumped and screamed.

"What the fuck, Ryan? Are you trying to kill me!?"

She wouldn't let him answer, she'd just sit up, shake the sleep away and smack him. His shoulder was probably the part of his body that suffered the most abuse. From women at least. There was the biting and grabbing and the nails- and he'd never even notice til after the sex. But with Theresa, there was also the habit of smacking him. All the time. It was her display of affection. At least that was his interpretation.

So Theresa would just sit there with her head resting against the wall, the rest of her clothes still in a pile by her legs, staring at Ryan. She knew that he wasn't just looking at her because she was naked. She knew he saw her as just Theresa. Not girlfriend or fiancée or anything like that. She knew that he didn't really see her the way he saw Marissa. Marissa, Theresa thought of her as something nice and sweet, like chocolate. But the kind that was too sweet. That got caught in your throat and made you cough and made it hard to breathe. That was Marissa. Well, Ryan still had some bits of infatuation with her. Some parts of him, not even Theresa could tap into, but those parts were few.

As she stared at him, Ryan would usually say something like "Why would I try to kill the half naked girl on my bed?" And Theresa would smack him again. By that time, he'd want revenge and pick up her pitcher and press the frosty glass on her belly. And knowing that if she moved the bed would be sheet-less later on that night, she would keep perfectly still as she sent Ryan evil looks.

But he smiled at her, pulling the pitcher away only slightly, she knew that she wouldn't be able to stay mad. Because she couldn't. So she'd look at him and say "I hate the heat! Fuck, I'll forgive you if you fix the weather... or at least take my mind off it."

And he'd lean in to kiss her clavicle and her throat. Telling her, "I could definitely take your mind off it." Then he'd look straight at her and smile. "Well, as long as you forgive me." By then, he wouldn't care whether she forgave him or not, because sooner or later she would anyway. She was a forgiving person, even though apologies didn't matter when the bed sheets had to be taken to the laundry mat for the thousandth time this week. But when their bodies made contact, KoolAid on the sheets would be the furthest things from their minds.

XXX

Seth and Summer were just saying their goodbyes to one another, when they noticed Ryan on the driveway. Summer clung on to Seth's hand, preventing her boyfriend from starting a fight with his "brother". As much as Summer detested the way the smell of smoke got into her hair and stuck to her clothes, she knew that Seth hated Ryan's smoking even more.

"Leave him alone. He's pissed." Summer said quietly, rubbing her thumb across her boyfriend's palm. His big brown eyes weren't looking into hers at that moment, instead they were fixated on Ryan.

"The love of his life just showed up and sang to him. Why would he be pissed?" said Seth in his typical joking tone but there was a fragility in his voice, that only someone like Summer could hear. Ever since Ryan returned to the Cohen house after the miscarriage, he wasn't the same. He wasn't the same Ryan that smiled and gave Summer an amused glance whenever she called him Chino. He wasn't the same Ryan that laughed when Seth beat him at Grand Theft Auto. He wasn't the same best friend that had left for Chino.

"I don't know, but I saw her running off earlier." Summer answered honsetly. "They must have had a fight or something, coz it looked like she was totally crying. Messed up mascara and everything." Seth smirked. Leave it to his girlfriend to find the relation to make up in the whole fiasco. But concern still overtook Seth. When he first returned to Newport, all he wanted was for Ryan to come back too. When Ryan finally came back, he wanted everything to go back the way it was before. When they returned from there trip to the East Coast, Seth realized that all he wanted for Ryan was for Ryan to be happy.

And to be happy, Ryan needed to be with Theresa.

"Come on," Summer nudged Seth's thoughts from his own head. "They'll figure it out. You know Chino."

Seth looked at the short brunette in wonder. Did she really have that much faith in Ryan and Theresa? Was there something she didn't know? And as if she heard those very questions in his mind, she tousled his curly locks and smiled. "When it's love, it figures itself out."

In that instant, he stopped thinking about Ryan and Theresa and all the questions that the couple evoked in Seth's mind. He thought of Summer. And Summer. And Summer. And he knew she was right. After all, through all the trials and tribulations, the two of them were together now. Fingers interlocked with fingers, eyes meeting eyes. Love. It figures itself out.