A/N: Look! I'm updating this finally! Haha, finally as in "haven't updated for about four days". ;D Love you guys, you're so awesome.

Less Than Zero

By Cradlerobber Speedo-kun

The next day was Sunday, and then it was Monday again. I had spent Saturday lying around the house feeling hungover and sorry for myself. I had also spent it doing my best to erase any memories I had of Friday night's drinking party. And hoping no one had seen anything I did while I was there. Or that I had left with Dylan. (1)

On Sunday Towerz and I had worked on his car. He didn't mention having seen me fall all over Homochuk and get sick, so I assumed he hadn't seen. Towerz was good about avoiding stuff I didn't wanna talk about, but he still would've brought that up if he had seen it. He only mentioned not seeing me very much after getting there.

It was already lunch, and no one had said anything to me about the party. So no one saw, and I'm safe. Or if they did, they forgot because they were too friggin' smashed. Thank fucking god.

But there's someone I know can't have forgotten. And I can see him across the lunchroom, laughing with that spic again. I don't even know why I'm in the lunchroom, usually I'd just ditch with Towerz and Cameron, and maybe we'd even bring Lel along. But Cameron and Lel are nowhere to be found, and Towerz followed me when I walked in here, and although he said nothing I know he definitely is wondering why the hell we're in this shithole right now.

"You're not eating." He observes dully. No shit, sherlock. I scowl, "I'm not hungry. If you're so interested in the fact that I still have a full plate of this crap, then you can have it." I roughly shove the tray across the table to him, and when he silently takes it and begins to eat it, I frown even more deeply. Sometimes it is a little annoying that Towerz almost never responds to anyone's attempts at antagonizing (2) him.

We skip gym after lunch, just sitting around in the parking lot and not doing much. Usually I'd let the air out of Raditch's tires just to spite him, but neither of us seems like we're gonna move at all. So we sit in silence, and I can't help but wonder what goes on inside Towerz's head. I've never been able to understand him completely, even though I've known him almost my whole life. But at least I can tell that he's not just some fucking delinquent, unlike the rest of the school. They think he is, but they don't even know him. Everyone always judges by the rumors they've heard and the way a person looks. It pisses me off.

I have my head on my knees, and I'm staring at the pavement and wondering why the asphalt can sparkle so brightly and cheerfully when so much of the rest of the world seems so friggin' gloomy and depressing. But then the bell rings, and I actually go to class, and Towerz disappears off to wherever he has to be. He didn't even offer a "see you later", but, then again, neither did I. I spend my class sulking about life in general, and the teacher seems so shocked to see me that she doesn't even call on me at all during class or say anything at all in my general direction.

On my way to the garage for period seven, I pass by Homochuk's locker. The spic is there, no suprise. I scowl. He's been there every time I've gone by today, and has been with Homochuk every time I've seen Homochuk today. What is he, Homochuk's dog? Jesus fucking christ, it's enough to make a person sick.

I'm late getting to the garage, and Cameron's already working on the car. I put the car on a winch without even asking, and have buried myself in the undercarriage of the car before he can even say hello. If he reacts, I can't see it. All I can see is the dim parts of the car's undercarriage. I can't focus, so I pretend to work on the car, but really am not. I'm just picking up tools and dropping them to make it seem like I'm doing something other than staring off into space and thinking too much.

When the bell finally rings after what seems like an age, I leave, having not said a thing to Cameron the entire class. And I silently thank god that he isn't Lel, because Lel would be chattering next to me at this point, trying to figure out what was wrong. And then I'd have to punch him to get him to shut up, and doubtless Rad-bitch would materialize out of some corner and give me a fucking detention. Yeah, just what I need.

I do my best not to run into anyone, and it works. I don't see Lel or Towerz, and they don't come looking for me. Maybe Lel tried, but Towerz probably stopped him. Towerz would be able to tell that if he couldn't find me at my locker right off the bat, then I don't want to be found. So he would go home, and Cameron would realize from the way I was acting in class that I don't want to deal with anyone, so he would go off with whatever girlfriend he has this week. And Lel would either get told to go home or would become quickly bored with looking for me, since he has the attention span of a dead armadillo. And then I find myself left alone and am glad that people know I want some space.

And then I would walk past Homochuk's locker for what must be the 54th fucking time today, and he would be there alone for once, and I would just stop walking and stare because I have just gone brain dead. Except that part really isn't supposed to happen. I'm supposed to be gone off drinking by now, but I'm staring at Dylan instead. And he obviously notices this, because there is no one left in the hallway, and there's also a chance that there's no one left in the school.

And now he's standing right here next to me, and I'm backed against the lockers and can barely breathe, and I don't even know why. His hand is on the wall behind me, and he's frowning, "Is there a reason you've been stalking me this entire day? You've gone by my locker at least ten times, and you stare every time. You ate in the lunchroom, staring at me. Everywhere I go, you're staring at me. But you haven't said anything. No "Homochuk", no "queer", no "fag", no "homo", not even a "thank you for driving me home and lying to my father because I was smashed, and thank you for not telling everyone that me, a psychotic homophobe, has a gay father." --- not that I was remotely expecting you to say the last one. But no nothing from you except for stare, stare, stare, all day long."

I can feel his breath on me, and I want to run, want to yell, 'Get away from me, fag!', but I can't say anything, can barely breathe, and most certainly cannot move. I could scowl and call him Homochuk, and punch him and tell him to get off of me, but I don't. I just stand there against the lockers with Dylan just five inches from me.

"Why?" He murmurs, and he's closer to me. Really close. Really, really fucking close. And then there's no room at all. He's kissing me. Kissing. Dylan is fucking kissing me, and I haven't breathed in what seems like hours. And then my eyes close, and I'm kissing him back, and I don't know why the hell I'm doing this, or even how this happened.

He finally breaks away, and takes a step back. My knees give out and I'm on the floor, staring up at him and still wordless. He shakes his head slightly, "I'm sorry, Neeling, but I can't give you what you want. I can't even really help you. Only you can." (3)

And then he's gone, and I'm still here on the floor, now gasping for the breath I hadn't had in a while and wondering what the fuck just happened.

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(1) Notice that he slipped up and didn't call him Homochuk for once? Keep an eye on that.

(2) I can't really see Jay using this word, but I couldn't really think of another way to put it. Or maybe he would use this word, and we just don't expect him to.

(3) To some of you, sorry, I know you didn't want this to happen, but this is slash. It was intended that way all along, and although you aren't exactly wanting it to be, I hope you can still continue to read and enjoy this.