A/N: Not much in the way of notes for this chapter, really. Mostly just notes to reviewers, something I've never done in any of my fanfic before. Shocker.
keeponwritin - You have no idea how flattered I am at the fact that you say I might be your inspiration for continuing on writing 'Within My Grasp'. I personally am of the opinion that your fic is WAY better than mine, so this just flatters me to pieces. As for my note on Jay using the word 'antagonized', I'm sure he'd know what it meant, but I don't think he'd be likely to use it.
orange crush3 - Why was he using a spork? Not a typo, not checking to make sure you're awake... I just find that sporks tend to be found in most lunchrooms that are attached to schools. I know most of America uses them, at least some of England does, at least a little bit of Mexico, at least one place in Wales, so I'm assuming that they can be found in Canada. But I could be wrong about that.
Less Than Zero
By Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
My father wasn't home, and neither was Eli. They had left a note on the table, a note that was obviously intended for me to have found at around 3 o'clock, after school, not 11:45 when I was supposed to be in school. I stormed through the house, slamming doors and making all the plates in the kitchen jump with every step I made. Cameron pissed me off. How dare he make an accusation like that? I'm not a fucking fag.
I went out into the backyard, and kicked some rocks against the fence. I briefly considered climbing over the fence and going off into the feeble set of woods behind it. It's only something like thirty feet wide, and when the block I live on ends, so does it. The last of some great Canadian forest that used to exist before Toronto was built. Stupid fucking Western civilization. I wish I had been born Chinese or something. Then I wouldn't be dealing with bastards like Cameron and Homochuk at the moment.
I settled down on the edge of the porch. Both the front and back of the house has a porch, but we never use them. Well, now I am. The fences in this yard are weird. It's wood on both sides, but then the back fence is chain link. Eli wants to replace it because he thinks it looks ugly. Gee, I thought it added to the charm... (1)
I can't sit still. I wander around the yard, kicking at rocks and the ground. I hate Cameron. I sort of wish Towerz was here so I could complain to him about Cameron, but he's off with his girlfriend, and I don't want him to know that Cameron thinks I'm gay, anyway. Stupid fucking Cameron will probably mention it to Alex, though... once they stop arguing. Which will doubtless occur soon enough.
The woods seem lonely. Sort of sad too, somehow. Like they're sad because they're the only part left. All alone in the middle of all this concrete, steel, and glass. I blink suddenly, and frown. Must be going crazy or something. Jesus, the woods are sad? What the hell is wrong with me?
Someone clears their throat and I turn around. Cameron. What's he doing here? Shouldn't he be off at school actually putting in an effort to pass? Dammit, how is it that he knows where I live, anyway? Oh, yeah, he brought me home the other day. Guess I must've told him where it was while I was smashed...
"Uh... hi." He says lamely, and I glare. I want him gone, now. I sneer at him, "Don't you have a class to be in? Get lost, Cameron. I don't wanna see your face around here." But he doesn't move. He just gets closer, until he's next to me, leaning in the corner of the yard where the chain link meets the wood. He never takes his eyes off of me. Since when did he become so bold? He has never been meek, really, but he's never acted so bold to me. He's always followed what I said since he joined my gang. When I first met him he and I were in a fight, so, yeah, he wasn't being meek at all. But ever after that he's followed along.
He scratches at the dirt with his toe, his gaze falling. He looks years younger than he really is somehow, his audacity to come into my yard and not to listen to me when I told him to leave falling away. But he still asks the question he asked before, the one that made me leave. His voice is sort of soft, "Jay. I just want to know. I don't care if you are, but I just want to know anyway. Are you... well, gay...? I know you don't wanna answer, but I'm not gonna leave until you at least say yes or no." His tone hardens at the end of his statement, and he looks up, looking me in the eye again. He's pissing me off again. Second time today. Except that I hadn't stop being pissed at him for the first time.
Silence. Me glaring at him, him just looking at me. Silence, silence, silence. Maybe five minutes, maybe ten. Silence somehow makes it hard to tell how much time has passed. When there's no noise time either slides by slowly, or zips by quickly. It never goes just that way it's supposed to.
He really isn't going to leave until he gets an answer. That much is obvious by now, no matter how much time has passed. I take a step closer, and find myself standing right in front of him, his back to the chain link fence. I slam my hands against the fence on either side of him, and we're practically touching. I lean into his face, and start yelling, "OK! How about this? I'm gay! Alright, happy now? I'm gay, and right now I've got you pinned to a fence. Oh, so you don't care if I'm gay? Do you now?" I've pressed him to the fence with my body, I'm leering, and yelling, and I'm so angry I could break his neck if I really wanted to, "Still don't care, Cameron? Still gonna stick around and deal with it? Still..." (2)
I push off the fence really fast, and spin around, the words dying in my mouth. That did not just happen. Please. I'm just having some sort of horrible nightmare of a day, maybe even this whole week. I didn't just get a hard-on from Cameron. (3)
I just want to crawl under the porch and not come out, but instead I just sort of cover my eyes with my hand, and sigh, "Just... go away, Sean... please..." My anger is all gone, evaporated the moment I realized what was happening. He doesn't say anything, but I know he's left. His foot steps, muffled by the grass, fade away, and the gate creaks on rusted hinges.
He's gone. Thank you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(1) Meant to be sarcastic.
(2) Ugh, the way I had this pictured was WAY better than I was able to write it...
(3) Just for the record, he's not attracted to Sean in any way, shape, or form. It was just a natural reaction to being so close to a guy is all. I'm more a SeanxEllie fan than any other Sean pairing, sorry. =P (Although, Cameroncest isn't something I'm against... eheheheheh....)
keeponwritin - You have no idea how flattered I am at the fact that you say I might be your inspiration for continuing on writing 'Within My Grasp'. I personally am of the opinion that your fic is WAY better than mine, so this just flatters me to pieces. As for my note on Jay using the word 'antagonized', I'm sure he'd know what it meant, but I don't think he'd be likely to use it.
orange crush3 - Why was he using a spork? Not a typo, not checking to make sure you're awake... I just find that sporks tend to be found in most lunchrooms that are attached to schools. I know most of America uses them, at least some of England does, at least a little bit of Mexico, at least one place in Wales, so I'm assuming that they can be found in Canada. But I could be wrong about that.
Less Than Zero
By Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
My father wasn't home, and neither was Eli. They had left a note on the table, a note that was obviously intended for me to have found at around 3 o'clock, after school, not 11:45 when I was supposed to be in school. I stormed through the house, slamming doors and making all the plates in the kitchen jump with every step I made. Cameron pissed me off. How dare he make an accusation like that? I'm not a fucking fag.
I went out into the backyard, and kicked some rocks against the fence. I briefly considered climbing over the fence and going off into the feeble set of woods behind it. It's only something like thirty feet wide, and when the block I live on ends, so does it. The last of some great Canadian forest that used to exist before Toronto was built. Stupid fucking Western civilization. I wish I had been born Chinese or something. Then I wouldn't be dealing with bastards like Cameron and Homochuk at the moment.
I settled down on the edge of the porch. Both the front and back of the house has a porch, but we never use them. Well, now I am. The fences in this yard are weird. It's wood on both sides, but then the back fence is chain link. Eli wants to replace it because he thinks it looks ugly. Gee, I thought it added to the charm... (1)
I can't sit still. I wander around the yard, kicking at rocks and the ground. I hate Cameron. I sort of wish Towerz was here so I could complain to him about Cameron, but he's off with his girlfriend, and I don't want him to know that Cameron thinks I'm gay, anyway. Stupid fucking Cameron will probably mention it to Alex, though... once they stop arguing. Which will doubtless occur soon enough.
The woods seem lonely. Sort of sad too, somehow. Like they're sad because they're the only part left. All alone in the middle of all this concrete, steel, and glass. I blink suddenly, and frown. Must be going crazy or something. Jesus, the woods are sad? What the hell is wrong with me?
Someone clears their throat and I turn around. Cameron. What's he doing here? Shouldn't he be off at school actually putting in an effort to pass? Dammit, how is it that he knows where I live, anyway? Oh, yeah, he brought me home the other day. Guess I must've told him where it was while I was smashed...
"Uh... hi." He says lamely, and I glare. I want him gone, now. I sneer at him, "Don't you have a class to be in? Get lost, Cameron. I don't wanna see your face around here." But he doesn't move. He just gets closer, until he's next to me, leaning in the corner of the yard where the chain link meets the wood. He never takes his eyes off of me. Since when did he become so bold? He has never been meek, really, but he's never acted so bold to me. He's always followed what I said since he joined my gang. When I first met him he and I were in a fight, so, yeah, he wasn't being meek at all. But ever after that he's followed along.
He scratches at the dirt with his toe, his gaze falling. He looks years younger than he really is somehow, his audacity to come into my yard and not to listen to me when I told him to leave falling away. But he still asks the question he asked before, the one that made me leave. His voice is sort of soft, "Jay. I just want to know. I don't care if you are, but I just want to know anyway. Are you... well, gay...? I know you don't wanna answer, but I'm not gonna leave until you at least say yes or no." His tone hardens at the end of his statement, and he looks up, looking me in the eye again. He's pissing me off again. Second time today. Except that I hadn't stop being pissed at him for the first time.
Silence. Me glaring at him, him just looking at me. Silence, silence, silence. Maybe five minutes, maybe ten. Silence somehow makes it hard to tell how much time has passed. When there's no noise time either slides by slowly, or zips by quickly. It never goes just that way it's supposed to.
He really isn't going to leave until he gets an answer. That much is obvious by now, no matter how much time has passed. I take a step closer, and find myself standing right in front of him, his back to the chain link fence. I slam my hands against the fence on either side of him, and we're practically touching. I lean into his face, and start yelling, "OK! How about this? I'm gay! Alright, happy now? I'm gay, and right now I've got you pinned to a fence. Oh, so you don't care if I'm gay? Do you now?" I've pressed him to the fence with my body, I'm leering, and yelling, and I'm so angry I could break his neck if I really wanted to, "Still don't care, Cameron? Still gonna stick around and deal with it? Still..." (2)
I push off the fence really fast, and spin around, the words dying in my mouth. That did not just happen. Please. I'm just having some sort of horrible nightmare of a day, maybe even this whole week. I didn't just get a hard-on from Cameron. (3)
I just want to crawl under the porch and not come out, but instead I just sort of cover my eyes with my hand, and sigh, "Just... go away, Sean... please..." My anger is all gone, evaporated the moment I realized what was happening. He doesn't say anything, but I know he's left. His foot steps, muffled by the grass, fade away, and the gate creaks on rusted hinges.
He's gone. Thank you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(1) Meant to be sarcastic.
(2) Ugh, the way I had this pictured was WAY better than I was able to write it...
(3) Just for the record, he's not attracted to Sean in any way, shape, or form. It was just a natural reaction to being so close to a guy is all. I'm more a SeanxEllie fan than any other Sean pairing, sorry. =P (Although, Cameroncest isn't something I'm against... eheheheheh....)