Hello all,
This has been sitting on my computer for a long time, and i got a little stuck in the seccond chapter So i thought if i posted it here, and maybe get a little feedback, that i could pick it up again. We'll see.
TITLE: A HAUNTING PAST
AUTHOR: SELENE
RATING PG 13
DISCLAIMER: All rights to the Magnificent Seven characters belong
to MGM and Trilogy. No profit is being made from this story, it's for fun
only.
ARCHIVE: Not until I'm done please. After that, feel free; just tell me so I can come visit ;-
FEEDBACK: yes please:
WARNING/NOTES: deals with death of children.
CHAPTER ONE: Friday night
Chris and Vin sat in the living room of Larabee's ranch, just outside of Denver. After their weekly Friday night gathering in the saloon, it was clear that Vin was in no condition to drive. So Chris took him back to the ranch for the night. He hoped, that by taking Vin with him, he could get him to talk about what was bothering him. Vin did drink, just like the rest of them. But he never got drunk, at least not that Chris had seen so far.
"So," Chris began.
Vin looked up. "So?"
"Are you gonna tell me?"
Vin sighed. He should have known he couldn't keep this a secret forever. At least not from Chris. It was not like he made a conscious decision to keep it a secret, he just didn't want to go down that road. He didn't want to talk about it. But now it didn't look like he got a choice, he might as well get it over with. Chris wasn't going to let this go. When he got it in his head there was something wrong with him or any of the team, he was like a dog with a bone, never letting go.
"It was two years ago today" he said softly, with his head down, looking at the beer bottle he was rolling in his hands between his knees.
"What was, Vin?" Chris asked concerned. The blond had a feeling in his gut that he wouldn't like where this was going. But he also felt that Vin had to get it out. This clearly brought on all kinds on emotions in Vin for him to go and get drunk. And keeping powerful emotions like that inside was not good. Chris knew all about that.
"That they died," Vin said in a whisper.
"That who died?" Damn, Chris thought, getting information out of Vin was worse than pulling teeth.
"Mac, Nicky and Julia." Vin looked up briefly to meet the hazel eyes of his friend, before returning his gaze to the floor and continuing, "my wife and daughters."
The sound of a beer bottle shattering on the floor was the only reaction Vin got for a few minutes.
"Guess it's a bit of a shock to ya huh? " Vin flinched at the breaking glass.
When he finally looked up he saw Chris sitting ramrod straight, his mouth opening and closing but emitting no sound.
Whatever Chris had been expecting him to say, it wasn't that he had been married.
"You...Your.... Your wife?! Daughters?! You? Whoa! Okay back up a bit, you were married? When?"
Vin took a deep breath; He knew there was no way now he'd get out of telling the whole story.
"When I was about twenty-one I went after a bounty. This guy had been shootin' up banks from here to the border. Tracked him to a town in California. This guy was good, he kept slippin' trough my fingers. 'Till at one point I had a bead on him. I caught him right in the act, robbin' another bank. Luckily he didn't shoot until after he had his money. I found a back way in and caught him. Then before I knew it, there was this beautiful girl rippin' this guy a new one. Goin' on and on about how he was a lazy idiot robbin' banks, didn't he have better things to do, didn't he know that gun he was waving around could hurt people? I'm tellin' it to you nice now, but she used curses I had never heard before!"
By now Vin had a sad smile on his face. He leaned back on the couch, looked up at the ceiling and went on with his story.
"The way she was standin' there, God I'll never forget it. Tall, fists clenched at her side leanin' over at this guy, green eyes blazin'. I could see she was just keepin' herself together enough to not beat this guy into the ground. He saw it, too, he began screamin' for somebody to save him from the she-demon.
Cops came and took him away, and then it was just me and her. She thanked me for stopping him, and we got talking. She was so easy to talk to." Vin said with a smile on his face and a look of wonder in his eyes. "There was just something about her. She seemed so full of life."
"I asked her to dinner and she accepted. After that night, I knew I was starting to fall in love. Luckily for me, she was, too."
A heavy silence fell over the room after Vin stopped talking.
Chris was trying to wrap his mind around the idea that Vin had been married. Married!! How could he have kept this a secret for so long? The team was together for a year and half. That meant his family was only dead for 6 months when Vin came to the team. And, oh damn! He had gone to the first anniversary of their deaths alone! Chris knew from first hand experiences how hard those days were. On the days that had been important to his family, like Sarah and his anniversary and her and Adam's birthdays, he was barely able to get out of bed. That was now. Before the team had come together, he'd coped by drinking until he was unconscious. Usually started the day before.
But, thinking back, he realized Vin had rarely taken a day off in the days the team was together. That meant he had worked through those days of his family, the birthdays of his wife and daughters, their anniversary... he had suffered through those days alone and silent.
Chris felt anger boiling up inside him. That damn fool! Why hadn't he said anything? There was no reason whatsoever for him to go through those days alone! He would have understood. Of all the people he would have understood! But then he realized that that was the problem. Vin didn't want to stir up any painful memories for him. The anger inside him was replaced by sadness, and a bit disappointment. He had really hoped that Vin realized that he could come to him with anything. That no matter what, no matter how painful, he would be there for him.
He was taken out of his musings when Vin started talking again.
"We dated for about six months. Saw each other nearly everyday. She loved the outdoors as much as I do. She was a guide in the mountains there. I quit bounty hunting because I didn't want to worry her. And I couldn't stand being away from her."
Vin fell silent again.
Chris was lost in his own memories. That was what it was like for Sarah and him. Never stopping thinking about each other. Always wanting to be near each other.
Vin spoke up again.
"Anyway, I took a job as a guide too. Hated it most of the time. Always leading tourist around who couldn't just be quiet and enjoy the scenery. But it was worth it.
After six months we got married. And then after a year our girls were born....
They were perfect. Looked exactly alike. Nobody but me and Mac could keep them apart. We named them Julia after my mother and Dominique, Nicky for short, after Mac's grandmother."
"Her name was Mac?" Chris asked surprised.
"No," Vin laughed, "Her name was Kyra. Kyra McKenzie, but she hated the name Kyra, so she called herself Mac, a short version of her last name. I used to call her Kyra just for the hell of it."
Chris smiled. That was just like Vin. He did that with the team as well. Calling Buck, Buckling. Calling Ezra, Ez. And, of course, calling him Cowboy.
Vin started talking again.
"We lived in a house in the mountains. We were talking about moving closer to a city or village when the girls were ready to go to school. Never did need to do that..." Vin ended softly.
The room fell silent for a while after that. Each man lost in his own thoughts, his own memories, his own loss.
After a while Vin shook himself out of it and carried on with his tale.
"I had it perfect for a while. I had a wife I loved more then I can ever say and two beautiful, perfect little girls." Vin smiled.
"They were twins in every way ya know. When Julia lifted her head for the first time, Nicky did it 5 minutes after. Nicky said "mom" for her first word, 15 min later Julia said "dad" for her first word.
When they stood for the first time, they each had one hand holdin' on the coffee table and one hand holdin' each other.
Vin was in every inch a proud father when he told this, his eyes sparkling his voice filled with pride. But then he looked at Chris with pain filled eyes and continued.
"I had a family again ya know? I loved them so much. But it's my love that killed them."
Chris's head shot up at that remark.
"What are you talking about?" The blond demanded in a hard, angry voice. "How could your love kill them?"
Vin sighed. This was the hardest part. Looking at the floor he answered Chris' question.
"Before I met Mac, when I was still bounty huntin', I went after this bounty. He was a murderer who skipped bail. I found him, but he didn't wanna come. He started shooting and if I wanted to stay breathin' I had to shoot back. I killed him."
All of this was said with a voice empty of emotion. Vin took a deep breath, leaned back on the couch, laid his head black so that he was looking at the ceiling. He really had to tell this fast or he wouldn't be able to tell it at all.
"Turned out this guy had a brother, who wasn't real happy that I killed his kin."
Chris let out a snort without meaning to. Somehow he thought Vin was underrating the anger the brother felt towards him
Vin didn't even look up. He just continued talking.
"This brother tracked me down, took him a couple a'years. I kept moving around, going after bounties. Never stayed in one place longer then a couple of weeks at the most. But when I stayed with Mac, he finally had me. When he found out about Kyra and the girls he figured he'd have the perfect revenge. "
Chris looked up, eyes wide. If this was going where he thought it was going, he didn't like one little bit.
Vin carried on.
"He kidnapped Mac and the girls. Held them in a building somewhere. He kept taunting me with letters and pictures of them." Vin took a deep swallow of beer before he continued.
"Buildin' they were held in was blown up, didn't even have the bodies to burry. Cops couldn't find him. I went after him myself. Bringin' in a bounty every once in a while to cover my costs. Was still doin' that when I met y'all. I'm still looking for that maniac. Nearly every free minute, every cent I have goes into that.
Chris felt like he'd been hit in the gut. He couldn't just stay seated. He stood up and started pacing, with his fists clenched at his side. Emotions raged through him. Rage, sadness, disgust all fought each other for dominance in him. Rage at life, for putting Vin through this, sadness for his friend for loosing his family like this and disgust at the sick bastard who would murder a woman and her children in cold blood.
Vin sad back and closed his eyes. He never noticed the tear sliding down his face.
He just told Chris the hard, cold facts. He didn't tell him about the shock he'd felt to come home in a house full of chaos. The coffee table turned over, the chairs thrown through the whole room, one through the window, all the plants Kyra loved so much thrown over, the dirt out of the pots all over the floor. The pictures and paintings of the wall and the frames cracked.
And the worst of it. In the middle of all that chaos a note, written in dark red ink, almost like blood.
'You took from me, now I take from you'
The frustration when the police couldn't find his wife and daughters.
The despair that filled him when he saw the pictures of his wife and daughters. The black pit of despair when the cops found the building where they were held, blown to pieces. The rage he still felt towards the bastard that killed his family and nearly destroyed him.
Once again silence filled the room as neither men felt the need to speak. Finally Vin looked at his best friend. Chris had stopped pacing and was now resting in a chair; his head back, his eyes closed.
Vin knew that hearing his story couldn't have been easy for Chris; it had to remind him too much of his own loss.
Vin closed his eyes and he saw his own family. They were so clear it took his breath away. His wife with her beautiful long black curling hair and eyes so green. She had been almost as tall as him and so beautiful.
Just like his daughters. They had their mother's hair and his eyes.
He smiled a little when memories of his beautiful daughters continued to flow. How happy they always were. How they would run to him when he came home from work. Hugging him and then standing on his feet when he went to kiss his wife. And the bed time ritual, that was all his. Mac got them out of bed in the morning and he put them back in at night.
Vin laughed softly. He always thought he got the good part of the bargain. His girls were cranky when they had to get up, Ezra could've taken lessons from them.
But the bed time ritual was always fun. First washing and changing into their night clothes. The bathroom was always a mess when they left it, much to Mac's frustration. He smiled when he remembered how mad his wife got when she had just cleaned the bathroom and they messed it up right away. After the washing it was time for the stories. He used to tell them fairy tales. Sleeping Beauty was their favorite.
He leaned back on the couch, eyes still closed but a single tear escaped. He brushed it away before it could get far. He wearily leaned over, forearms on his thighs and hands between his knees. He sighted, letting his head drop low.
He couldn't remember a night when his sleep wasn't disturbed by nightmares. He shook his head. He had found a solution for the day. He worked, keeping his mind bussy with work. Then he didn't have time to think about how happy he once was and how it all was taken away from him.
He had always thought happiness wasn't for him. He had been right and his wife and daughters had paid the price.
Chris' voice shook him from his thoughts.
"Why didn't you ask for our help, my help? If all of us were searching for that guy we would find him."
Vin was silent for several minutes while he thought about how to answer that question. He knew without a doubt that the team would help. That's what families do, and they where a family. But the last family that he had died because of Patrick Turner, he couldn't risk this family as well. Besides that there was the fact that the only times outside of work he didn't think about his family all the time was when he was out with the guys. All their antics took his thoughts of them. At least for a little while. For some reason he liked to keep the two separated in his head. Vin sighed deeply and massaged his neck with his head bent back. All this talking about bad memories and reliving old pain, it was wearing him out, but Chris had a right to know. And maybe I'd make him feel better. Didn't Josiah say he felt better with Vin knowing about his sister? Maybe he would to. He righted his head and tried to explain to Chris.
"With work I can keep my mind of missing them all the time, the team does that also. If the team knew" Vin trailed of. How could he put this so Chris would understand? "If the team knew, I'm afraid they would treat me different. Watch what they where saying and that would remind me of them even more often. Make me think about them more. And if I'd stop to think about them for too long, I'd fall apart. And Mac wouldn't want me fallin' apart. She wanted me to go on. She made me promise."
Vin stood up and started to pace in front of the couch. His hands behind his back, his head lowered, his hair shielding his face. After a couple of minutes he stopped and looked directly at Chris, pain filling his blue eyes.
"She was so strong you know? She was sixteen when her mother died. Her father couldn't cope without his wife, so Mac took over the household. She cooked, shopped, cleaned, everythin'.
And all the while she was still in high school." Vin said with wonder in his eyes and admiration in his voice.
"She told me her father was on automatic pilot for a couple of years. And just when he was startin' to see that life still went on and that he still had a daughter, he was killed by a drunk driver." Vin looked grim and angry now. His eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. His closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing his story.
"Since Mac was over eighteen, she was considered an adult. But she made me promise, even before the girls where born, that if something should happen to her, I would go on. That I would still see the good things in life. Seemed like an easy promise then." Vin said sadly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"The only good thing I saw after they died was catchin' the bastard that killed them." Vin's eyes were only small slits of blue now and he pushed his fists together in front of his chest in a attempt to control his anger. Until he looked down and realized what he was doing. His arms just fell limply down his side and he looked at the ground.
"Until I met you and the team. It was only then that I realized that I could keep my promise to her another way, a better way."
Vin turned to the window, looking out but not seeing anything. He thought back on all the months he had spend tracking the bastard. Hardly eating, only sleeping when his body gave out. Not living, hardly even existing.
Patrick Turner had not only killed his family, he had made him forget the promise to his wife. And by that betraying her memory.
Anger lurched trough him. He clenched his fists by his side and turned back to Chris, fire in his blue eyes.
"I will find him, Chris, he will pay!"
Chris sighed. He leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his face.
He was very tired all of a sudden. He knew how Vin felt. He had been in that place of anger and hurt. That place where revenge was the only thing on his mind. He was still there some days. He knew how bitter and how lonely it had made him and he'd be damned if he let that happen to Vin.
If he wasn't already there. Didn't he say that all the time and money he had went into finding this guy? If he understood Vin right the only thing that kept him from taking off after this guy and making him pay was his promise to his wife. That must have been one smart lady. That and it seemed she knew Vin well. From what he heard he thought he would've liked her. Now, if he could only find a way to both help Vin to keep his promise and put this guy away for the next 2000 years.
"We will get him, Vin." he stated. "Tell the team and we'll get him. We'll help you find him."
Vin just looked at him and said: "No, you can't. The team can't help."
Chris inwardly sighed while he got to his feed. This wasn't going to be easy. But then, was it ever?
"Vin think about this. With the team behind you, you have so many more options of looking for him. You would have six other men looking for him. If everybody follows a lead, looks in a direction, it would go so much faster. Not to mention JD's hacking skills and Ezra's contacts. You know his name?"
Vin nodded once.
"Then JD could go looking for credit cards, banks accounts. I don't know what else. That way we could find him! And Ezra could put the word out to his contacts that he is looking for this guy and for all we know, he could come to us! "
Chris could see that Vin's resolve was crumbling. Just a little push and he would have him.
"Vin, you are good. You're probably the best out there in finding people. But you're one man. Think bout what seven men could do. What seven men could find!"
Vin sank down on the floor as if his knees wouldn't support him anymore.
"Yes I know that, Chris. I know that with the team I could find him. But this is a mad son of a bitch. He has no sense, is totally unpredictable. I can't let you near him. He'd kill one of you, or all of you, and you'd never see it coming."
Chris almost laughed at that. They had a dangerous job, one with a real reality that you could die at any given moment. One leak, one bust gone bad and you'd be dead. They all knew that. It came with the job. Hell, of all the teams in the ATF they had the most success at closing cases, but they also had the most injuries. When he told that to Vin, he just looked at him with sad eyes.
"Yes, but if something happens, when somebody gets injured during a case, that'll be because of the job. You know that when you're working you can get hurt, or killed. But this would be during our free time, you'd all be doin' this for me, to help me. So when one of you gets hurt, or killed, it'd be because of me. Because you were helping me. And I couldn't take that, Chris, I couldn't live with the knowledge that one of you got hurt because of me. Especially not by the hands of him."
Chris took a deep breath. He could understand why Vin would think like that. But just because he could understand didn't mean that he agreed with that way of thinking. He wanted to help, he knew that the team would want to help if they knew. If he got hurt, so be it. At least he would make damned sure he took that basterd with him. He knew the risks, the team would know the risks and they took them freely. Now all he had to do was convince Vin of that fact. Yup, that was all.
"Vin, we all know the changes we take. But you can't take our decisions for us. Gives us a choice, let us make up our own minds. I understand that you'd like to keep the team and your family separate, but wouldn't you also like closure? Know that the man who killed your family is in jail? This Sunday, all the guys will be here, you can tell them then and let them make up their own minds."
Vin looked at him for a long time, neither of them saying anything. At long last Vin nodded.
"Alright, I'll tell them. But I won't ask them to help."
Chris figured this was the best he could get for now. When Vin told the team, it was highly likely they would offer their help on their own and with six of them they had a much better change at convincing Vin that they could and wanted to help. Risks be damned.
Both men feeling that this was enough for one night, they said goodnight and headed up to bed.