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It was an hour after we had arrived at the hospital. Other than the sound of the fetal monitor, the room was quiet. I watched anxiously for Luka and prayed he would be there soon; I didn't want to be alone. Another contraction hit, worse than the one before and it took my breath away. I gripped the side of the bed and hoped it would soon pass. They were already ten times worse than the contractions I had experienced with Jonathan. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, Luka was standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face.
"Great timing, huh?" I said, the contraction subsiding. He grinned a bit, raising his eyebrows and walking toward the bed.
"They took Jonathan up to pediatrics. He's going to be okay." He told me quietly. I nodded, relieved. We both looked up as the Doctor walked in. Her name tag read, Rachel Davis, M.D.. She greeted me with a warm smile, telling me she wanted to check me. Luka stood up to leave the room but I grabbed his arm. It was crazy but I wanted him there. Just the thought of him not being there made an achy, hollow feeling well up inside of me.
"Don't go." I whispered. "Please." He paused, looking into my eyes and sat down in a chair next to me. He took my hand in both of his.
"It's okay, I'll stay."
**************
Dr. Davis finished and informed us that Abby was eight centimeters,
then left, saying she would be back in a little while. I looked down at
Abby, I could see the worry and pain etched in her face and I wished I
could take it away from her.
"Thought of any names?" I asked, trying to lighten things a bit.
"I thought-" She stopped abruptly, tears springing into her eyes as she began to breathe heavily. I let her squeeze my hand and whispered words of encouragement to her until it was over.
"Bad one?" I asked, as she loosened her grip on my hand.
"Yeah. Worse than any I'd had with Jonathan." She said, bringing her hand wearily to her head.
"It won't be long now." I told her. I thought about how this could be my life if I hadn't let Abby get away, if I hadn't let Carter take her. I wasn't exactly bitter, it was just that all the old feelings were awakening again, making me feel so incredibly unstable. She lay there looking at me for a moment.
"Kelly, if it's a girl and Timothy, if it's a boy." she said. I was thrown back into the present. I smiled.
"Those are wonderful."
***************
Before we knew it, Dr. Davis was saying it was time for Me to start pushing. Luka stood next to me, as every emotion humanly possible was running through me. He smoothed my hair back, then took my hand. I was grateful that he was there. Dr. Davis began to speak.
"Abby, when the next contraction starts, I want you to push, okay?"
"Okay." I said, my voice already portraying how tired I was. It seemed like seconds later, the contraction started and everyone was telling me to push. I took in a deep breath and bore down. Pain surged through me, seeming like it would never end. But it did and all too soon I had to push again.
"You're almost there, Abby" Dr. Davis coached. "Okay...push!" I took hold of Luka's hand and bore down. I knew I was probably breaking Luka's hand in the process. "The baby's crowning." She said. I looked up at Luka for encouragement.
"You're doing great." He told me, he was looking at me the way I imagined he had looked at his first wife or even Nicole. It was a nice feeling.
"How much longer?" I asked, exhausted and wanting to quit.
"Just give me a few big pushes and then it will be over." Dr. Davis said. Again, I pushed and was rewarded with Dr. Davis saying the head was out. A few minutes later, the sound of crying filled the room. "It's a girl!"
I broke down as my new daughter was placed on my stomach.
"She's beautiful, Abby" Luka told me. I looked up and realized he was crying, too.
"She is, isn't she?"