Pirates Gone Wild

Disclaimer: I do not own pirates of the Caribbean or the other things I mention

Scene 1

It was a cold day out at sea and little Kara was freezing cold. In fact she was very blue so the sailors asked her if her mother was a smirf. They could never ask about the father since he was the smirf captain of the boat and they didn't want to lose their jobs.

Anyway one day they were sailing along when they came across a wrecked sip with this kid floating on the floatable toilet seat. The sailors decided Kara could go get the kid because they didn't want to ruin the manicures she had given them. Kara pulls in the boy and thinks he's really hot. She takes his necklace because it was really ugly and Kara likes to get ugly jewelry. She was then saw the guy had a tiny bulge in his pants and wanted to see why. The kid woke up as she was staring at it so tried to explain that there was shrinkage after you've been in the water a while. She didn't believe him until that night at dinner he stuffed some elephants in his pants so his bulge was pretty big. Then the two kids fell in love or at least really horny since both went to bed to go masturbate.

Scene 2

Now everyone's older and is plucking the hairs on their chins when no one is around. This was mostly Kara's problem so she kept a tweezers in her bra. Now Kara's dad (the smirf) has become governor or some important position because he was supplied with that freaky gray wig monthly so that he always looked his best. He would get them in different haircuts sometimes so at the end of each month he did a costume party with all his wigs. Will was this hot guy Kara liked but she was engaged to another dude because she liked his family cooking. Now the dudes name was Edmund because I said so and he had been adopted into jay-z's family. He was sure beyonce was in his DNA somewhere so he would walk around telling people he was bootylicious and he would be your naughty boy. Will did the best booty bounce in all the Caribbean and won many contests for that as well as saying "you got served" so many times a day it was just a habit.

One day Kara had a bad dream and when she woke up she heard a scream so she to began screaming. Her dad rushed in and asked what the problem was and he said in a serious tone," that was my fart. The only real fear here is your nana's cooking. She always uses the local spices and they are quite spicy."

Kara replied," now I understand. I will not fear anymore. The only thing to fear is fear itself." Then her bodyguard jumped out to protect her from the assassination attempt.

Who should be coming into the harbor but Boy George wanna be. He had a lot of eyeliner on and these really cool dreadlocks and he was really hot. His name was jack and when he tried to jump over the candlestick he got burned so he couldn't walk very well. Because of his problem, he hired Shamu to take him to the port. The guy who owned the dock wanted money so Shamu jumped out and ate him.

As jack was walking around looking for a CVS to buy some waterproof mascara, he saw a very pretty boat. As he was walking towards it, these soldiers came up and blocked his path to the boat.

The soldiers demanded to see his ticket stub. The ship was part of the tour that celebrity cruise lines offered. Jack showed his room key so they let him in the boat, which was apparently a seafood buffet with a gift shop.

Up above him Kara went to a party. As she was sitting on the edge her hunger kicked in from her anorexia so she fell off. Her skirt billowed out and slowed her fall into the water. As she was swimming around Shamu came up behind her and tried to eat her but Jack came and saved her. As the pair came out of the water, Edmund showed up and began fighting with Jack.

" Man why you messin' with my bitch? She may be a ho but she's my ho. I know all 27 of my ladies and they ain't bein stolen by crack ass wangsta!!!!!!!"

Jack stood there saying nothing trying to figure out what shampoo Edmund used because his hair was silky smooth and Jack's hair needed some help. Then he realized he was gonna be killed so he an away. He went to a pub and got tipsy so the bar tender told him to leave. As Jack was walking away he met Will who was also drunk. Will thought Jack was a girl from all the makeup he wore so they got busy. The soldiers caught him the next day and he was put in jail with Michael Jackson. Jack was so happy he wasn't a kid anymore otherwise he would go to neverland with Mike and probably never come back.

As the two sat in their cells, the Black Pearl came and attacked the town.