Disclaimer: Do I even need this anymore? Jhonen owns everything. I want a
shiny button that states: "I GAVE MY SOUL TO JHONEN!". Yeah. I REALLY want
one. I mean REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLY want one.
9. Back To Hell (Johnny's pov)
Dear Die-Ary,
Everything is so...fucked up. Squee's gone. Her....Elizabeth. It was her. It was all her fault. I didn't remember...but when Squee went missing and I found her and Squee... I remembered everything about her. About us. FUCK!! Us. I hate the way that sounds. I hate her. I hate that she hurt my poor Squeegee. My...? What the hell? My? I just referred to Squee as mine. What does this mean? Shit. I don't like this.
I need a Brain Freezy. I'll be back in a little bit...
I'm back. There's a new clerk again. This one's a real bitch. I couldn't kill her though. Not enough energy. I'm to numb right now to care about her ignorant comments. That bitch. She called me a fagot. ...............What if she's right? I am strangely attached to Todd...
Where the fuck did that come from? Todd... Todd? No. He's Squee. He has ALWAYS been Squee and that isn't about to change now. Even if he is gone... Fuck.
I'm so cold. I need to get my coat. Why am I so DAMN cold all of the sudden?!
- * -
I threw my pen down at my Die-Ary as I stood up. I stared at Squee's body on my couch as I walked over to my coat and pulled it off the nail it was hanging from.
"Nny..."
"Huh?" I slipped my coat on and pulled it tight around myself, then slid to the floor, still staring at the body.
"I'm sorry."
I looked up at Eff. He was being sincere. "Don't be. It's all my fault." I sighed.
"No it isn't." Eff tried to defend me.
"Stop it. If I hadn't killed her..."
"But you wouldn't have if D-Boy and I didn't tell you to. Like I said Nny, this isn't just your fault. I'M sorry."
He's right... I stared up at him. "I hate you." I said with venom in my voice. "And I hate myself. I wish I could die and stay dead." I buried my face in my arms. I really do hate myself. Wait... "EFF!!!" My head shot up.
Eff jumped at my outburst. "What?"
"I GOT IT!!!!! I can get Squee back!"
"How?" Eff looked at me questioningly.
"When I accidentally killed myself before I was sent back, so maybe if I do it again I can find Squee and bring him back with me!" I jumped up and grinned insanely.
"Johnny... I don't think that's such a good idea. If Todd is dead he was meant to die."
I glared at Eff with daggers in my eyes. "No." I hissed. "I'm going to bring him back. He's NOT meant to be dead. If anyone should be dead, it's us. Now where's that gun?" Eech. I hate guns... but it will work. It HAS to. I have to bring Squee back.
"I would come with you, but I don't think I can come back..."
"I understand. Besides I want to do this alone. Even if it IS partly your fault, I take the blame. I'm the one who shoved that knife into Elizabeth. I took her life so she took Squee's. And I'm gonna get him back."
"So how are you going to do it?"
"I was thinking I could shoot myself again, but that was really painful. Even when I was dead is still hurt. Can you think of anything less painful?"
"You could always get hit by a truck, but wait...that would hurt too. Um...slit your wrists?" Eff suggested.
I know he's only trying to help... "No. That involves WAY too much blood."
"Like shooting yourself in the head doesn't. How about hanging yourself?"
"...No."
"Overdose?"
"Too rock-star-like and cliché."
Eff looked like he wanted to kill me himself. "And shooting yourself in the head isn't?!"
I sighed deeply. "No... So one guy did it and everyone makes a big deal of it. I personally don't think he even did it. And it looks as if that gun is the only way I'm going to die again. So do you know where it is?" I shuddered when I mentioned that gun.
*In the drawer of your desk.* Nail Bunny answered.
I smiled and looked at the picture of Nail Bunny. "Thank you."
*I don't think you should do this Nny. What if things go wrong?*
"That's a risk I'm willing to take." I said determined to do this. I walked over to my desk and pulled the gun out. "Eff, I want you to know that if I don't make it back...it was nice...and REALLY fucked up knowing you. Do me a favor?"
"What?"
"If we don't come back, bury us in the backyard?"
"I would anyways. And um... how long until I know you aren't coming back?"
I didn't think of that... "A couple days I suppose. I have no clue how long I was dead the last time..."
"That's helpful." Eff rolled his eyes. "But Nny...I hate to say this, but if you don't make it back... I'll miss you."
"Really?" That's surprising... "I guess... I guess I'll miss you too. Is Sarah still sleeping?"
"I think so... want me to check?"
"It doesn't matter. If she's sleeping the noise will wake her and if she's awake it'll scare the shit out of her." I sighed and held the gun to my head. "Goodbye Eff." I screwed my eyes shut and pulled the trigger.
- - - -
...I feel dead. Am I dead again?
"Yes."
EEK! "Mr. Satan?"
"Not quite."
"Oh. Who are you then?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
Why does everyone here have an attitude?!
"Because it's Hell."
This is annoying. "Can you please stay out of my head?"
"But that's no fun Johnny."
"You know, you have as much of an attitude problem as Mr. Satan. Are you related?"
"I'm his son, Pepito." I saw a figure step from the shadows next to me and bow.
"Pepito?"
"Yes Johnny?"
"Where is Mr. Satan?" I growled.
!POOF!
"AGH!" Why does he have to do that?!
"Hello again Johnny. Sorry I wasn't here to greet you. I had to take care of a new soul. He's having trouble adjusting. He shouldn't be here. He should be in Heaven. But you know how it is. Mistakes are made sometimes."
New soul... Squee! "Mr. Satan... um...this new soul, is his name Todd?"
"Todd?" Pepito's eyes widened.
"Yes." Mr. Satan replied.
"Todd Casil?" I asked.
He nodded his head. He has a scary head...
"Father... Do you know where Elizabeth is?" Pepito looked as if he were going to kill someone. Hope it's not me...
"I believe she's at her house."
"I'll be back later." Pepito disappeared in a puff of smoke. I wonder what that was about...
"Now Johnny, why did you ask what the new soul's name was?"
"Because a friend of mine, the only one I have, was killed just a little while ago. I'm here to take him back. He shouldn't be dead."
"Johnny, you can't do that."
Fuck. "Mr. Satan... I know I'm not such a good person, but I've never asked anything of you before... please, just let me take Squee back with me." I asked, hoping that he would say yes.
"Hmm.... Well I suppose you can."
"Thank you!"
"On one condition."
Fuck.
"If you can find him before you're sent back he can go with you. If not, he stays."
"You suck."
"No. I'm just evil Johnny. Therefore I play games like this. It's fun to toy with people, especially you." Mr. Satan grinned. He's so mean.
"Right. Can I have head-explody?"
"Why? No."
I rolled my eyes. "Why ask 'why' if you were just going to say no?"
"No reason. Why do you want it?"
"Because it's fun. And fun is good. And it's okay to hurt the damned. Isn't it?"
Mr. Satan nodded. "It is. But why should I give you head-explody?"
"Because you...um....well you aren't nice so that's not a good reason.... because.....I am worthy of such powers."
"This is true."
"You're joking." I said in disbelief.
"No, actually." Mr. Satan scratched his chin. "I do like you Johnny, so I suppose a little head-explody wont hurt too much. Maybe it will help you with finding little Todd." He grinned.
Fuck. He's planning something.
"Or maybe it won't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
!POOF!
And he's gone. Well....this isn't going to be very enjoyable... I wonder if I actually have head-explody!
~*~
Wasn't that fun? I was going to add more, then my friend Trey (who just got out of the hospital) pointed out that it was getting kinda long. I agree...and well...I just haven't been able to write much more lately. I have this poetry reading later tonight. I don't wanna go. Scary things.... I wonder what Nny would do if he had to go to Starbucks? *Twitches* Please review as you all know I love feedback.
9. Back To Hell (Johnny's pov)
Dear Die-Ary,
Everything is so...fucked up. Squee's gone. Her....Elizabeth. It was her. It was all her fault. I didn't remember...but when Squee went missing and I found her and Squee... I remembered everything about her. About us. FUCK!! Us. I hate the way that sounds. I hate her. I hate that she hurt my poor Squeegee. My...? What the hell? My? I just referred to Squee as mine. What does this mean? Shit. I don't like this.
I need a Brain Freezy. I'll be back in a little bit...
I'm back. There's a new clerk again. This one's a real bitch. I couldn't kill her though. Not enough energy. I'm to numb right now to care about her ignorant comments. That bitch. She called me a fagot. ...............What if she's right? I am strangely attached to Todd...
Where the fuck did that come from? Todd... Todd? No. He's Squee. He has ALWAYS been Squee and that isn't about to change now. Even if he is gone... Fuck.
I'm so cold. I need to get my coat. Why am I so DAMN cold all of the sudden?!
- * -
I threw my pen down at my Die-Ary as I stood up. I stared at Squee's body on my couch as I walked over to my coat and pulled it off the nail it was hanging from.
"Nny..."
"Huh?" I slipped my coat on and pulled it tight around myself, then slid to the floor, still staring at the body.
"I'm sorry."
I looked up at Eff. He was being sincere. "Don't be. It's all my fault." I sighed.
"No it isn't." Eff tried to defend me.
"Stop it. If I hadn't killed her..."
"But you wouldn't have if D-Boy and I didn't tell you to. Like I said Nny, this isn't just your fault. I'M sorry."
He's right... I stared up at him. "I hate you." I said with venom in my voice. "And I hate myself. I wish I could die and stay dead." I buried my face in my arms. I really do hate myself. Wait... "EFF!!!" My head shot up.
Eff jumped at my outburst. "What?"
"I GOT IT!!!!! I can get Squee back!"
"How?" Eff looked at me questioningly.
"When I accidentally killed myself before I was sent back, so maybe if I do it again I can find Squee and bring him back with me!" I jumped up and grinned insanely.
"Johnny... I don't think that's such a good idea. If Todd is dead he was meant to die."
I glared at Eff with daggers in my eyes. "No." I hissed. "I'm going to bring him back. He's NOT meant to be dead. If anyone should be dead, it's us. Now where's that gun?" Eech. I hate guns... but it will work. It HAS to. I have to bring Squee back.
"I would come with you, but I don't think I can come back..."
"I understand. Besides I want to do this alone. Even if it IS partly your fault, I take the blame. I'm the one who shoved that knife into Elizabeth. I took her life so she took Squee's. And I'm gonna get him back."
"So how are you going to do it?"
"I was thinking I could shoot myself again, but that was really painful. Even when I was dead is still hurt. Can you think of anything less painful?"
"You could always get hit by a truck, but wait...that would hurt too. Um...slit your wrists?" Eff suggested.
I know he's only trying to help... "No. That involves WAY too much blood."
"Like shooting yourself in the head doesn't. How about hanging yourself?"
"...No."
"Overdose?"
"Too rock-star-like and cliché."
Eff looked like he wanted to kill me himself. "And shooting yourself in the head isn't?!"
I sighed deeply. "No... So one guy did it and everyone makes a big deal of it. I personally don't think he even did it. And it looks as if that gun is the only way I'm going to die again. So do you know where it is?" I shuddered when I mentioned that gun.
*In the drawer of your desk.* Nail Bunny answered.
I smiled and looked at the picture of Nail Bunny. "Thank you."
*I don't think you should do this Nny. What if things go wrong?*
"That's a risk I'm willing to take." I said determined to do this. I walked over to my desk and pulled the gun out. "Eff, I want you to know that if I don't make it back...it was nice...and REALLY fucked up knowing you. Do me a favor?"
"What?"
"If we don't come back, bury us in the backyard?"
"I would anyways. And um... how long until I know you aren't coming back?"
I didn't think of that... "A couple days I suppose. I have no clue how long I was dead the last time..."
"That's helpful." Eff rolled his eyes. "But Nny...I hate to say this, but if you don't make it back... I'll miss you."
"Really?" That's surprising... "I guess... I guess I'll miss you too. Is Sarah still sleeping?"
"I think so... want me to check?"
"It doesn't matter. If she's sleeping the noise will wake her and if she's awake it'll scare the shit out of her." I sighed and held the gun to my head. "Goodbye Eff." I screwed my eyes shut and pulled the trigger.
- - - -
...I feel dead. Am I dead again?
"Yes."
EEK! "Mr. Satan?"
"Not quite."
"Oh. Who are you then?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
Why does everyone here have an attitude?!
"Because it's Hell."
This is annoying. "Can you please stay out of my head?"
"But that's no fun Johnny."
"You know, you have as much of an attitude problem as Mr. Satan. Are you related?"
"I'm his son, Pepito." I saw a figure step from the shadows next to me and bow.
"Pepito?"
"Yes Johnny?"
"Where is Mr. Satan?" I growled.
!POOF!
"AGH!" Why does he have to do that?!
"Hello again Johnny. Sorry I wasn't here to greet you. I had to take care of a new soul. He's having trouble adjusting. He shouldn't be here. He should be in Heaven. But you know how it is. Mistakes are made sometimes."
New soul... Squee! "Mr. Satan... um...this new soul, is his name Todd?"
"Todd?" Pepito's eyes widened.
"Yes." Mr. Satan replied.
"Todd Casil?" I asked.
He nodded his head. He has a scary head...
"Father... Do you know where Elizabeth is?" Pepito looked as if he were going to kill someone. Hope it's not me...
"I believe she's at her house."
"I'll be back later." Pepito disappeared in a puff of smoke. I wonder what that was about...
"Now Johnny, why did you ask what the new soul's name was?"
"Because a friend of mine, the only one I have, was killed just a little while ago. I'm here to take him back. He shouldn't be dead."
"Johnny, you can't do that."
Fuck. "Mr. Satan... I know I'm not such a good person, but I've never asked anything of you before... please, just let me take Squee back with me." I asked, hoping that he would say yes.
"Hmm.... Well I suppose you can."
"Thank you!"
"On one condition."
Fuck.
"If you can find him before you're sent back he can go with you. If not, he stays."
"You suck."
"No. I'm just evil Johnny. Therefore I play games like this. It's fun to toy with people, especially you." Mr. Satan grinned. He's so mean.
"Right. Can I have head-explody?"
"Why? No."
I rolled my eyes. "Why ask 'why' if you were just going to say no?"
"No reason. Why do you want it?"
"Because it's fun. And fun is good. And it's okay to hurt the damned. Isn't it?"
Mr. Satan nodded. "It is. But why should I give you head-explody?"
"Because you...um....well you aren't nice so that's not a good reason.... because.....I am worthy of such powers."
"This is true."
"You're joking." I said in disbelief.
"No, actually." Mr. Satan scratched his chin. "I do like you Johnny, so I suppose a little head-explody wont hurt too much. Maybe it will help you with finding little Todd." He grinned.
Fuck. He's planning something.
"Or maybe it won't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
!POOF!
And he's gone. Well....this isn't going to be very enjoyable... I wonder if I actually have head-explody!
~*~
Wasn't that fun? I was going to add more, then my friend Trey (who just got out of the hospital) pointed out that it was getting kinda long. I agree...and well...I just haven't been able to write much more lately. I have this poetry reading later tonight. I don't wanna go. Scary things.... I wonder what Nny would do if he had to go to Starbucks? *Twitches* Please review as you all know I love feedback.