November 23, 2006

"Hey." I greet Lucas quietly and he places a small kiss on my cheek.

"How ya feeling?" He asks, looking down timidly to my ever growing abdomen.

"Eh... pretty good." I put up a front for everyone. Truthfully, with each passing day that I don't hear any news on Nathan, the worse I seem to do. He takes the box of carefully packaged pies from my arms and replaces them with my nephew, Brooke standing behind him, her hand resting on her still flat stomach. "Hey." I smile up at her. Out of everyone here, she's the one closest to understanding what I'm going through.

"Dinner's just about ready." Lucas reminds us, before leaving us to our girl talk. We nod at him slightly.

The meal is kind of low-key, surprisingly enough considering Dan and Deb ended up showing up last minute with the baby. Karen extended the invite for the sake of her once business partner and realizing just how hard it is to pull together a big meal like Thanksgiving with a newborn needing constant attention. With little relenting, they gave in and agreed to a quiet, calm evening for the sake of Brooke and myself.

The food was great, as Karen's cooking usually is. Her gentle words pulled me from my thoughts. "You guys want dessert now? Or shall we wait a while?" The table has since been cleared and dessert has appeared. As scrumptious as it looks, I can't think about eating right now. My mind keeps roaming back to the beginning of the meal when we said grace then went around the table telling what we were thankful for.

"Okay guys. You know the drill." Brooke chuckles lightly at her words, remembering the previous two Thanksgiving dinner's that she'd attended at the Scott/Roe house.

"Can I start?" She appears childish, but I know it's all with good means. She and Karen have really taken to each other and it kind of bothers me to realize that Deb and I have never gotten along that well. Karen nods, "Sure. Then we'll just go around the table from there." I offer a smirk, trying to let on that I'm enjoying myself when in fact, I'm really dreading this.

She's sitting next to Alex, with Luke on the other side of their son. She beams proudly, her pregnancy glow really showing off in the simple cream-colored dress she settled on wearing. "I'm thankful for my boyfriend, and my sweet little boy." She says, leaning over and plopping a loud kiss on Alex's head, causing the toddler to make noises at his mother's actions. She straightens up, looking back and forth between Karen and Keith. "I'm thankful for you guys inviting us to this lovely meal and cooking for us." She smirks, giving off that goofy grin that's enough to lighten even the worst mood. "And I'm thankful for tutor-girl for being my best girlfriend. I think I'm finished now!" I shake my head in disbelief. Leave it to Brooke to make this enjoyable. "Okay, sweetie, it's your turn." She says, looking to her son.

"I sank-ul fur ma toys and Daddy. And Gamma and Gampa. And ma toys. Oh! An An-Ay-yey. And Unca Na-fan eben dow I on't know where he is. I finish." He states, clapping his hands at his words of thanks. I watch though, as Lucas nudges him in the side and then leans down to whisper in his ear. "Okay. Daddy says I'm sank-ul fur Mommy and dat baby I tan't see too." Everyone bursts out laughing at what he's said but Alex only looks on confused. "Go Daddy!"

Lucas' words are the most surprising though. "I'm thankful for Mom and Keith and their wedding next month. I'm thankful for this healthy little peanut next to me and the littler healthier peanut next to him." He smirks at Brooke and reaches over Alex's high chair to place a hand gently on her flat abdomen. "I'm thankful for Dan and Deb. And Nathan, wherever he is out there." I glance at him trying to hold back the tears but I have to grin at him for his attempts at being polite to his[/i] father.[i]" He turns, looking back at Brooke. From the look on his face, I can tell what's coming and it comes as a complete shock to me as well. "And hopefully, I'm thankful for my fiancée?" He prompts, pulling a large diamond from his pocket. The tears immediately fill her eyes and I know that it comes as a surprise to her too.

"You're [/i]definitely[i] thankful for her." She winks at him, standing from her chair and settling into his lap as he slides the gorgeous ring on her finger. We continue around the table and it's pretty much the same for everyone. But now, it's my turn. "I'm thankful that you're all here to help me get through this hard time. I'm thankful for my husband, somewhere out there and I hope that wherever he is, he's staying safe. And most of all, I'm thankful for this baby." It's nothing compared to what the rest of them have said, but it's all I can get out.

We decide to hold off on dessert and all head our own ways for a while, wanting to catch up and catch a break. Karen and Keith take Alex, leaving Lucas and Brooke alone momentarily to celebrate their engagement alone, together. I head off to the spare bedroom that was once used as my own bedroom and sink down into the bed, finally allowing the tears to escape freely without being on display. My mind runs over the Thanksgiving dinners Nathan and I were able to share. We took them for granted then. We took everything for granted then.

"Hello?" My voice is raspy from the crying and the tears that cloud my eyes prevent me from telling who's calling.

"Haley?" I gasp upon hearing the voice. "Hales, is it you?" I nod, not even realizing that I've failed to offer an actual response. "Haley?"

"Nate? It's you? You're okay?" All at once, I'm flooded with questions, but rather than overwhelming him, I remember where I am. If I'm too loud or too excited, they're all going to know. If they all know, I won't be able to talk to him privately. To let him in on all that's been going on.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm in the hospital, but I'm doing okay. Are you okay? You don't sound like yourself."

"No. I'm fine. Actually, I'm perfect." I tell him, my nerves calming down for the first time in weeks.

"You sure?" It's just like Nathan, putting me before himself and whatever injuries he's probably dealing with.

Without thinking any further, I just begin blurting things out to him, trying to let him into the little world that we've created over the past few months. "What do you think of Charles? Chas, for short."

"Huh?" His voice is confused and I almost wonder if there's something more wrong with him than he's letting on. "Who wants to know?"

"Chas. For our son." It dawns on me then that he doesn't know. "Our son Nate. I'm pregnant." He didn't get my email. Hasn't gotten any of them probably. His voice is quiet and shocked when he finally speaks.

"Really?" I can almost hear the smile in his voice as he responds to me. "We're having a baby? A son? I'm gonna be a daddy?"

"Yeah. You're gonna be a daddy."

"Look baby. I have to get going. I only had a couple minutes to make this call. But I love you. And I love that baby of ours. Make sure you tell him, okay?" I nod silently, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces all over again. "Haley?"

"Yeah. I tell him every night Nate. We talk to you, so you better start listening." I stop talking, not even sure what to say to him after all this time.

"I love you Hales. And I'll be home soon." I nod again, wishing he was here with me now, celebrating Thanksgiving with me the way everyone else here is. With their families. "Take care of him, Hales. I can't wait." And before I can say anything more, before I can assure him that I love him, before I can promise him I'll take care of his son, the line goes dead.

Lucas holds me in his arms, listening quietly as I tell the news to everyone. "He says he's okay. That he's in the hospital, but he's okay." I only tell them what they really need to know. Anything more would take away from what little my husband and I were able to share on our first Thanksgiving as Husband and Wife.