(A/N: I realize that the last chapter was short and I apologize. I am trying to make them longer.)
Lily hadn't fought with him in days and that was making James wonder if she liked him or not. He was slightly worried about what was going on between them. She hadn't said anything about the Ball and he was starting to believe that she had only pretended as he had asked her that night, that she would never never ever love him the way that James loved her.
But what James didn't know was that Lily was fighting with her own conscious and her heart about the subject of James. She had gone through seven years of memories with him and anaylized them all, trying to figure out if she had always felt this way or if she had just been caught up in the moment of the Ball. Maybe it would happen again at the Christmas Ball that was quickly approaching that Lily wasn't sure she wanted to attend with anyone, but James.
And she was saying his name in her head. Not Potter like she had been doing for the last seven years, but James. And she was thinking about how cute he was. How his heart had pounded so quickly when she had placed her head upon his chest. She was thinking about what he had admitted to her at the table, when their friends had left them all alone.
She was thinking about him every single minute of every single day and she was starting to go slightly insane with the thoughts inside her head.
They had decided to do rounds together now, since the Ball but they weren't all that talkative. In fact they barely even looked at each other.
"Quiet night." James said, looking around the hallway.
"Yeah." She replied, looking down at her hands.
"Want to. . ." James started.
"What?" Lily asked quickly, her heart fleetingly hoping that he would say kiss.
"quit with rounds." He ended.
"Oh. No. We have two whole wings to cover yet."
"Right."
They continued to walk in silence.
"James," Lily said at the same time he said:
"Lily."
"You go first." They said together. They laughed uneasily.
"Ladies first."
"No. Please, you go first."
"Are you sure, Lils?"
"I'm sure James."
He stopped, looking at her in surprise. She had only said his name a handful of times in his life and never more then once at one particular moment in time and yet she had said his name, his first name, twice in the last couple of minutes.
"Do you hate me?" He asked her, pain shining in his eyes.
"Oh, James... No I don't. Why do you think that?" She asked him, her eyes locked with his.
"Because you don't fight with me anymore. Or anything. You don't even talk to me. Not since the Ball." He tore his gaze away from hers to look down at his hands.
"I was afraid, James."
"Of what?"
"Of... I..." She broke off, turning away from him.
"Of what?" He voiced again. She whipped around, her emerald eyes glistening with tears.
"I was afraid of what I felt for you James Potter. All my life I have believed that I hated you. And in one night I think that I love you more then anything in the world. But I don't want to!"
"Why not?"
"Because you... you are so arrogant."
"Yeah, you tell me that alot."
"Yet you never change!"
"Maybe not, but you are obviously attracted. I knew you would come around."
"No. I won't come around."
"Why fight it Lils?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!" She exclaimed, causing James to jump backward.
"Can't handle what?"
"I can't handle my thoughts."
"Are they bad?"
"No! I am doubting everything."
"Then don't doubt. Just give in to what you feel. Let your heart decide."
"I can't James. I just can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know how!"
"Maybe I could show you."
"I don't want to be shown. I don't want any of this."
"Come on, I can see it in your eyes. You want this more then anything."
"No I do not."
"Yes you do."
"NO I DO NOT!"
"Then why are you trembling?"
"I am NOT trembling Potter!"
"Yes you are Lily."
"I am not!" He took a step closer, a genuine smile upon his face.
"Yes you are and you know it."
"Don't get any closer."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why my love?"
"Don't call me that."
"Just admit in your head that you love me."
"No. Don't come closer!"
"Just admit it!"
"Stop! I can't go anywhere. The wall is in my way."
"Precisely."
"Potter. I warn you..."
His lips pressed against her, soft and gentle. He held her close to him in his arms, making sure she didn't leave. Her breathing slowed and her hands snaked up to the back of his neck. She pulled him closer, running her fingers through his already untidy jet black hair.
They stayed that way for several minutes, basking in pure bliss, before James broke away. He let her go from his embrace and moved backward slightly.
"I love you Lily." He whispered. She stood with a smile upon her face, then suddenly it disappeared and a look of shock replaced it. She ran away from him as fast as she could. If she had looked back she would have seen the look of pure sadness and disappointment that was in James' chocolate eyes.
Lily hadn't fought with him in days and that was making James wonder if she liked him or not. He was slightly worried about what was going on between them. She hadn't said anything about the Ball and he was starting to believe that she had only pretended as he had asked her that night, that she would never never ever love him the way that James loved her.
But what James didn't know was that Lily was fighting with her own conscious and her heart about the subject of James. She had gone through seven years of memories with him and anaylized them all, trying to figure out if she had always felt this way or if she had just been caught up in the moment of the Ball. Maybe it would happen again at the Christmas Ball that was quickly approaching that Lily wasn't sure she wanted to attend with anyone, but James.
And she was saying his name in her head. Not Potter like she had been doing for the last seven years, but James. And she was thinking about how cute he was. How his heart had pounded so quickly when she had placed her head upon his chest. She was thinking about what he had admitted to her at the table, when their friends had left them all alone.
She was thinking about him every single minute of every single day and she was starting to go slightly insane with the thoughts inside her head.
They had decided to do rounds together now, since the Ball but they weren't all that talkative. In fact they barely even looked at each other.
"Quiet night." James said, looking around the hallway.
"Yeah." She replied, looking down at her hands.
"Want to. . ." James started.
"What?" Lily asked quickly, her heart fleetingly hoping that he would say kiss.
"quit with rounds." He ended.
"Oh. No. We have two whole wings to cover yet."
"Right."
They continued to walk in silence.
"James," Lily said at the same time he said:
"Lily."
"You go first." They said together. They laughed uneasily.
"Ladies first."
"No. Please, you go first."
"Are you sure, Lils?"
"I'm sure James."
He stopped, looking at her in surprise. She had only said his name a handful of times in his life and never more then once at one particular moment in time and yet she had said his name, his first name, twice in the last couple of minutes.
"Do you hate me?" He asked her, pain shining in his eyes.
"Oh, James... No I don't. Why do you think that?" She asked him, her eyes locked with his.
"Because you don't fight with me anymore. Or anything. You don't even talk to me. Not since the Ball." He tore his gaze away from hers to look down at his hands.
"I was afraid, James."
"Of what?"
"Of... I..." She broke off, turning away from him.
"Of what?" He voiced again. She whipped around, her emerald eyes glistening with tears.
"I was afraid of what I felt for you James Potter. All my life I have believed that I hated you. And in one night I think that I love you more then anything in the world. But I don't want to!"
"Why not?"
"Because you... you are so arrogant."
"Yeah, you tell me that alot."
"Yet you never change!"
"Maybe not, but you are obviously attracted. I knew you would come around."
"No. I won't come around."
"Why fight it Lils?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!" She exclaimed, causing James to jump backward.
"Can't handle what?"
"I can't handle my thoughts."
"Are they bad?"
"No! I am doubting everything."
"Then don't doubt. Just give in to what you feel. Let your heart decide."
"I can't James. I just can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know how!"
"Maybe I could show you."
"I don't want to be shown. I don't want any of this."
"Come on, I can see it in your eyes. You want this more then anything."
"No I do not."
"Yes you do."
"NO I DO NOT!"
"Then why are you trembling?"
"I am NOT trembling Potter!"
"Yes you are Lily."
"I am not!" He took a step closer, a genuine smile upon his face.
"Yes you are and you know it."
"Don't get any closer."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why my love?"
"Don't call me that."
"Just admit in your head that you love me."
"No. Don't come closer!"
"Just admit it!"
"Stop! I can't go anywhere. The wall is in my way."
"Precisely."
"Potter. I warn you..."
His lips pressed against her, soft and gentle. He held her close to him in his arms, making sure she didn't leave. Her breathing slowed and her hands snaked up to the back of his neck. She pulled him closer, running her fingers through his already untidy jet black hair.
They stayed that way for several minutes, basking in pure bliss, before James broke away. He let her go from his embrace and moved backward slightly.
"I love you Lily." He whispered. She stood with a smile upon her face, then suddenly it disappeared and a look of shock replaced it. She ran away from him as fast as she could. If she had looked back she would have seen the look of pure sadness and disappointment that was in James' chocolate eyes.