CHAPTER SIX
More time passed, and still Heero showed no sign of improvement, however he has managed to settle comfortably into his 'new home'. There had been a few minor missions, but nothing really worth worrying over, usually only one of the pilots was required. Heero had offered to go on some of them, but was bluntly turned down each time.
"You're not going out there unless it's absolutely necessary" Duo had told him the first time he suggested going with him on a mission "I'd rather not persevere with this if it means putting your life at jeopardy, not in such avoidable circumstances"
Of course it doesn't go without saying that a little bit of chaos did hit the household every now and then, but those moments of insanity never had much to do with the war, it was usually just Heero and Duo inflicting what they call "unintentional pain" upon each other, like when Duo decided to add pepper "for flavor" to Heero's tea, or when Heero dyed the end of Duo's braid bright red and green, causing it to looked as if he had some sort of Christmas ornament dangling from it, or when Duo got Heero drunk enough to convince him to put on one of Catherine's circus performing outfits (at the sight of which Trowa nearly had a heart attack)…etc etc etc…
Despite all this, or perhaps because of it, the two of them have grown awfully close, spending majority of their days, not to mention nights, together. Duo had become so used to having Heero there next to him that once, when he slept alone, while on a mission, it felt almost weird.
One morning, Heero awoke and found himself in bed alone.
"Hmm…that's funny…" He thought "He's usually the one who sleeps in latest…wonder what happened…"
He made his way into the kitchen and saw Duo sitting at the breakfast table alone.
"Hey!" Heero greeted his friend happily "You're up so early!"
"Mmmhmm…" Duo mumbled in response, but didn't make any further comments.
"When did you come to bed last night anyway? I think I was asleep way before you did!" Heero opened the fridge and stared at the contents, trying to find something edible "What were you doing up so late anyway?"
"I was…looking at the moon"
Heero's eyebrows shot up "The moon? I didn't think you were into that kind of thing!" It was true, it had never occurred to him that someone with a nature as loud and crazy as Duo would find any pleasure in something as domestic as moon-gazing.
"Yeah, well…" Duo trailed off, he didn't seem keen on getting into a conversation.
Heero continued to stand in front of the opened fridge, something Quatre couldn't stand, it was one of the few things the gentle blond had no tolerance for "We should not be wasting energy! We shouldn't take such natural resources for granted, we're on the Earth now, and it has limited resources, we should all do our part to…"
Heero didn't bother finish recalling Quatre's little speeches, it's not like he really paid much attention anyway.
"Hey Duo, have you had anything for breakfast yet? There's like, nothing here!" Heero pursed his lips in annoyance "Ugh! I'm hungry! Duo…you want anything? I can go and get…" He stopped short when he noticed that the overly-talkative solider was been overly-silent.
"Duo?"
"What?" Came the soft response.
Heero turned to face him "Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really…"
"Have you eaten anything?"
"Err…no…"
"Then what…hey are you alright?" Heero suddenly realized Duo's face was in a strange shade of color "You don't look so good…"
"Hey…what's that meant to mean?" Duo tried to do a mock-angry tone, but failed miserably "I'm…fine…just…tired…"
"Damn right you should be! When did you get to bed anyway?"
"I…don't know" Duo laid his head down on the table "I wasn't sure…"
"Okay that's it" Heero marched over to the table "You're going back to bed!"
"No! I'm…fine! Really!" Duo tried to protest.
"As if! Come on!" Heero reached over and took one of Duo's arms, and immediately drew back in shock "Duo! You're so hot!"
"Thanks I'll take it as a complement" He murmured.
Heero ignored him and reached over to feel his cheeks "Omigod Duo! You're totally burning up! What did you do?! What were you wearing last night anyway?!"
"Just…this…" He tugged at the shirt he had on "I wasn't…that cold…"
"For Heaven's sake!" Heero shook his shoulders in frustration "What were you thinking?! It was freezing out there!"
"It wasn't…that bad…" Duo's voice was getting softer and softer "I only felt a bit chilly when I woke up…"
"You fell asleep out there!?" Heero's eyes were growing rounder by the minute "No wonder I didn't hear you come in! Far out Duo! You slept out there? Don't you have any sense?!"
Duo sighed, but midway through a violent cough took over.
"That's it!" Heero grabbed the other boy's shoulders and forced him up, easily overcoming the weak resistance Duo gave "You're going back to bed, NOW!" He wrapped one of Duo's arms around his own neck and helped him back to the bedroom.
"Oof…" Duo fell into the bed with a crash "You could be a little more gentle.
"Sorry…" Heero apologized, at the same time pulling the covers over him "Now you stay here and rest until that fever breaks" He ordered "I'll…go see what the others are doing…"
"Heero…I'm really okay…" Duo still persisted, and tried to get up, only to fall right back after finding the world completely spinning in front of his eyes.
"Okay my foot!" Heero shook his head "Just stay right there and try to rest!"
He walked out into the living room, no one was there.
He tried the balcony, and found Trowa standing there alone.
"Hey…where are the others?" Heero asked.
"Shopping…grocery shopping…"
"Groceries?"
"Yeah, we're out of everything practically…"
"I noticed" Heero thought of his little staring session with the fridge earlier "I can't imagine Wufei doing something so…well, what he may consider feminine!"
Trowa shrugged "We have to take turns, much as he hates it, it's only fair"
"Oh right…" Heero remembered the reason he had been looking for other people in the first place "Umm…I think Duo's sick…"
"He is?" Trowa was surprised; it wasn't like Duo to get ill "With what?"
"I don't know, he's got a fever and he slept out here all night last night, so I'm guessing he's caught a cold or something…"
"Baka...Wufei was right, he's got no common sense!" Trowa sighed and shook his head "So how is he now?"
"Just in bed…I wasn't sure what to do…"
Trowa thought for a moment, then walked inside "Well I guess first we need to take his temperature…" He opened a cupboard and rummaged through it "I hope I still know how to use this thing…" He looked at the small instrument that he had withdrawn from it "Shouldn't be too hard…"
They made their way back to Duo's bedroom and pushed open the door.
"I think he's asleep…" Heero whispered.
"Hmm…" Trowa looked at the boy on the bed "That makes it kinda tough, from what I know you're meant to put it under the tongue…"
"Oh…"
"But…" Trowa went on "When I was in the circus and one of the lions got sick, the animal doctor stuck the thermometer up its'…"
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!"
Trowa and Heero both jumped a mile at the sudden outburst, neither of them knew where Duo suddenly got the strength to yell with such force.
"Don't…even…think…about…it…" Duo panted weakly "I'm…awake…"
Heero couldn't help but break into giggles at the thought of what Trowa was about to suggest, and watched in interest as Duo opened his mouth wide to let the thermometer into it.
"Thanks for the sympathy" Duo pouted "Humph!"
After a few minutes, Trowa withdrew it and read "Whoa…a hundred and four degrees Fahrenheit!"
"Is that bad?" Heero inquired.
"Really really bad…" Trowa nodded "Umm…keep him warm and I'll go get a compress" He left the room.
"Maybe we should send for a doctor…" Heero suggested.
"Oh come on! It's not that bad!" Duo comforted him "I just need some sleep and then it'll all be fine…Besides, I hate doctors, they're useless and act as if they know everything, but in the end, like as if they can really do anything!!"
Trowa returned with a towel and a basin of water "Okay, this is a really old-fashioned method but I can't think of anything better at this point…"
Heero took the towel, rinsed it, wrung it, and placed it gently onto Duo's forehead.
"Is that better?"
"Uh…yeah…" Duo wasn't used to this kind of tenderness from the perfect soldier "It feels good…thanks…"
"I think the most important thing now is for you to sleep" Trowa instructed "I don't think it's anything too serious, just a severe cold…"
"Sleep sounds good" Duo sighed and closed his eyes "Sleep is goooooooood…"
"I'll stay here" Heero offered "Why don't you just go on with whatever…"
"Well…alright" Trowa backed towards the door "I'll be home all day, call me if you need anything okay?"
"Sure!"
* * *
For the rest of the day, Heero sat by his friend, changing, rinsing and replacing the compress numerous times. Duo was fading in and out of consciousness a lot, but he was aware of Heero's efforts, and his heart warmed at his display of concern, a feeling of bliss came over him despite what he was going trough.
Around mid-afternoon, Heero took the towel from his forehead one last time and placed his hand over it.
"Hey!" He exclaimed "It's broke! The temperatures' gone down! Duo! How do you feel?"
"Mmmmm…" Duo stretched and yawned "Better, definitely…" He sat up slowly "Man…things have finally stopped spinning!"
"Whew!" Heero laughed "You got me SOOOOO worried there! Do you know how feverish you were at around noon? Trowa and I nearly had to call the doctor! But then Quatre and Wufei came back, and Wufei fed you some sort of weird herbal drink thingy …I don't think you were actually aware this was happening at the time…then you just went back to sleep…but now the fever's finally gone!"
"Slow down Heero…you'll make me dizzy again…what did I do?"
"Well, it got kinda scary…you were actually delirious for a while, that was when I got really panicky…"
"Delirious?" Duo couldn't remember any of it "What?"
"Well…I'm not sure, but you started rambling on about cows marrying rabbits and how the moon was made of green cheese and asking why anyone would think of naming their dog Cheewowow…"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Duo was starting to feel embarrassed and made a mental note to himself to quit reading weird kid's books "So…what did you do?"
"I was going to call the doctor, but the others got back, and…yeah…" Heero's eyes were glowing "I'm just so happy you're okay!"
Suddenly he leaned over and hugged Duo "Don't ever scare me like that again!"
Duo just sat there in shock "Uh…okay…" He found himself stuttering and blushing the way Heero does around Trowa "I…I…umm…"
"Whatever!" Heero stood up "I'll just go and tell the others you're fine now!" He picked up the towel and basin and headed towards the door.
Duo's gaze followed him, his thoughts still mesmerized by all the affection just shown to him. He suddenly understood why Heero would get all strange around Trowa…there was just something…
What was it? Duo questioned himself, what was it that made him feel so strange? Sure he was touched by the fact Heero had been worried about him, and had taken care of him the whole day, but was there something beyond that? For the longest time now he had felt a deep unsettling feeling whenever Heero showed his attraction towards Trowa, now it seemed to surface…it was jealously, wasn't it? Why would he be jealous though…was he afraid of the fact that perhaps Heero can't be…
Can't be his…
But…can't be his what? He knew he'd always have Heero as a friend, but did it go beyond that somehow?
Yes…he decided…there had to be something, friendship does not arouse such sensations in one's chest as those that were going through his right then, friendship did not involve envy or the need for exclusiveness…
There was something beyond that…
But…
"It's only a one way thing…" Duo thought sadly "Heero may worry about me and be one of my best friends…but, it's not like this…his heart…belongs somewhere else…"
At that notion, his own heart started to ache.
A lot…
* * *
One night many days later…
Heero was woken from his sleep by a soft, sweet melody that flowed into the room, he couldn't recognize the tune, which was to be expected since he wouldn't have been able to remember anything songs he used to know anyway , but somehow the melody seemed eerily close and familiar somehow, and he couldn't help rising and going to the window for a closer listen.
"Heero? What's the matter?" Duo too, awoke "What are you doing?"
"That music…" Heero whispered "It's so…beautiful…"
"Oh that…that's Trowa's flute"
"Trowa…?"
"Yeah, he's got heaps of hidden talents, you should hear his duets with Quatre, now those are really something!"
"Quatre…?"
"Yup! Trowa would be using his flute and Quatre on the piano or violin or one of the other hundred instruments he plays. Sometimes they'd perform for us, but it rarely happens…"
"Oh…?"
"Yeah, Trowa's not that keen on showing off his flute skills"
"Trowa…" Heero repeated, and added wistfully "I wish…I could see him perform…"
Trowa again, always Trowa! A twinge went through Duo's heart.
"Come back to bed Heero…you don't want to get a fever too do you? Trust me, it's not fun"
"Umm…I'll be fine…just give me a moment" Heero replied absently, his eyes searching beyond the window in hopes of catching a glimpse of the musician "You go back to sleep"
Duo wanted to argue further, but he was so sleepy that before he could say anything, he had dropped off.
* * *
Something in the music that night must've triggered something in Heero's heart, and he became solemn and quiet, although he wasn't like the way he once was, he had lost the Duo-like attitude towards things. He wanted more time to be on his own, and spent hours staring off into space. He stopped pulling pranks and making jokes with Duo, in fact he seemed to have very little to say to him altogether.
Duo didn't know how to amend this, and he couldn't understand how the change came about. Heero had been so passionate to him when he was sick, but now…he didn't know what had altered, or whether he had done or said something wrong, but he did know he was losing communication with the one he considered most close to his heart, and he wanted desperately to avoid that.
"I'll talk to him tonight" He finally gathered the nerve to decide one day "I don't have to tell him my feelings, but I just want him to know I don't want to lose contact…yes…tonight when we're alone…"
But that plan never went into action, for that night, Heero left the group earlier than usual, everyone assumed he was going to bed, so Duo followed, intending to have their talk.
But, to his surprise, instead of turning to the right to Duo's bedroom as he had done for so long, he turned left and entered his own room, just before he shut the door he noticed Duo looking at him.
"Hey…" He said softly.
"Heero…" was all Duo could manage; it had seemed like forever since the last time they had spoken.
"What is it?"
"I…umm…are you okay?"
"Sure…"
"You seem awfully…quiet…"
"Sorry, I'm just tired"
"No, I mean, for the last week or so, you haven't talked to me much…" Duo stammered.
"Really? I'm sorry"
Sorry? What kind of a response was that?! Duo was getting frustrated.
"Heero…what's happening? You've been so…distant lately, I mean when I got sick you were all worried and stuff, but now you're so…I don't know, you won't talk to me!"
"Duo…" Heero looked apologetic, but all he said was "I really want to sleep…"
"Why are you…" Duo placed his hand on Heero's door to prevent him from closing it "Why are you going in here?"
"It's my room…" Heero replied simply.
"But…"
"Duo…look, I know I've been acting weird, but I can't help it okay? I mean, I…I should've felt this a long time ago, but I guess I was trying to ignore it. Now I know I can't ignore it…"
Duo looked puzzled "What are you trying to say? Ignore what?"
Heero sighed, and went on:
"I don't like not knowing who I am or what you guys were like…that night, listening to Trowa's music…I suddenly realized how much I really didn't know! How much I would have to learn all over again! I mean, you guys all talk of things as a matter of fact but I have no clue! I don't like that! I hate getting the feeling that I once knew you guys…especially Trowa…I once knew you all so well and thorough! I mean I just…don't understand things now, I feel lost Duo, and you've been so kind as to help me…but I need to sort things out for myself now, I know you guys can't help me, so I have to try harder my self, or else if I let this go on…I'll just get more and more confused about…everything" He took a deep breath "Can you understand that?"
Duo was taken aback at Heero's speech, and felt at a lost for words "I…do…"
"Thank you…I'm grateful" Heero uttered, and before Duo could say anything further, the door was shut.
Oh Heero… Duo covered his face with his hands…I'm so sorry…I should've given more thought to how you may feel…I…I didn't mean to be insensitive…
Perhaps that was why Heero was so drawn to the Silencer, Trowa was sensitive, and he showed his sympathy. He had walked the road Heero was on and he knew what it was like…
I wish I could've done that for you too Heero…I wish I was the one you could've looked to for comfort and compassion…I wish…
He wearily made his way into his own room and flopped down on the bed, which seemed too large all of a sudden.
You were the once invader here… Duo thought ironically…But now that you're gone…I suddenly feel so…
So very much alone…