CHAPTER EIGHT
Running…
He didn't know where he was running to, he couldn't see what was up ahead or what he was running away from, all he knew was that he had to keep running, he couldn't give in to fatigue, he couldn't even stop to look behind him…
His heart was pumping wildly and sweat drenched his face, he couldn't think, he couldn't see…but he had to keep running…
Darkness was all around him, and seemed to be closing in…the air was growing denser, the road was becoming coarser, his feet were aching, his whole body was cramping, he could hardly breathe…but he had to keep running…
Then, out of nowhere came the fire, surrounding him, the flames rose high and seemed to engulf him, his path has been blocked, his whole body was illuminated in the golden-red glow, and the air became so unbearably hot…
But he didn't stop, he couldn't stop, he didn't have the strength of will to keep his legs from moving, in fact they seemed to go faster and faster, along the scorching earth, straight into the flames up ahead…the blaze tore at him, ripping through his skin and into his body, the pain was inexpressible…but he couldn't stop, he had to keep running…
With a silent scream, Heero sat up in bed.
It was that dream again…
This wasn't the first time he's had it, nor was it the second or third…it has haunted him numerous times since Duo had brought him back to this place. But when they first started, he always had Duo there next to him when he woke up, and that was all it took for him to calm down and fall back asleep again…
But this time, it was different. Duo wasn't there next to him, with that cheeky grin on his face as he slept. This time he was all alone in his room…and for the first time, he was frightened.
He quickly turned on a light, and checked the time.
Twelve midnight on the dot…it hadn't been that long since he went to bed. But that dream seemed to have gone on for an eternity. He looked down at his arms and ran his fingers over them.
No, there was no pain, all that was just a nightmare, but at the time it had seemed so real, he had felt as if it was killing him.
There was no use to try and go back to sleep, it was just impossible to get his heart to return to a normal pulse at that point. He sighed and got out of bed. Softly, he opened the door and tiptoed outside.
Surprisingly, he wasn't the only one up; a small light in the kitchen was on, casting a soft glow through the hallway.
He made his way into the kitchen, and found Quatre standing at the stove. At the sound of his footsteps, the Desert Prince turned and smiled at his friend.
"Heero!" He called softly so as not to wake anyone "Why are you up?"
"I…" Heero didn't want to go into the details of his dream right then, for one thing it still scared him to recall it, and besides he didn't' want to worry Quatre.
"I just…thought I'd give Duo's little moon-watching activity a go" He offered as an explanation "It sounded…umm…curious…"
Quatre laughed "Well he's a pretty curious guy in general…" He turned back to the stove "Hey you want some hot chocolate? It'll keep you warm…" He offered a cup to Heero, who took it gratefully.
The two of them made their way into the living room, and sat down on the couch across from each other without bothering to turn on the lights. The moon was completely full that evening, and cast an eerie white glow over the room. For a while the two of them just sat in silence and sipped their drinks.
The gentle light of the moon comforted Heero's spirits a little, and he felt a lot calmer. At length he spoke up:
"Quatre…" He called the other boy's name softly "I…was wondering if you could tell me something…"
"Sure Heero" Quatre was surprised at the request "What is it?"
"How…how long have you known Trowa?"
At the mention of that name, Quatre's eyes took on a distant, blissful glint, and his lips curved up into a dreamy smile.
"It's been a long time…" He replied in a faraway voice "A very long time…he was the first of the other pilots that I met, we started off fighting against each other in a battle, but then I realized how wrong our actions really were!" He shook his head "We're all fighting for the peace of the colonies, and that of the earth, so why should we be at war with each other?"
"So you two resolved it?"
"I surrendered to him…and he came out of his Gundam…that was the first time I ever saw him…"
"What was he like then?" Heero inquired.
"Very much as he is now actually, only even more subtle and silent"
"Omigod…I didn't think that was even possible!"
"You might be surprised…"Quatre smiled "Well yeah, that's how we met and although we didn't stay together all the time, we did end up…together…"
"Oh…"Heero paused a moment before asking "Did I…know him well before…well, before this happened?"
Quatre thought for a moment "I can't be too sure…although…" He stared into his cup "You were the first one to have ever made him laugh…and he always seemed to have more to say to you than to the rest of us…perhaps it was because you were more quiet and shut off than he was…"
"That's what you guys all say…" Heero sighed "But I honestly can't imagine that, I mean, how could I have been? It's like trying to imagine Duo totally silent all the time and it's…just not possible!"
Quatre giggled "You think? Well then we've witnessed the impossible!"
Heero smiled faintly "If I really was like that…then I guess no one really knew me that well…"
"No…not really" Quatre had to admit "You didn't like telling people what you were thinking so we had no idea most of the time. On some days you'd spend more time in front of your laptop than actually with one of us…"
"Oh…"
"But…" Quatre added quickly "I guess if you wanted to know more the best person to talk to would be Duo, he's spent a lot more time studying you than anyone else!"
"Studying?!" Heero asked, slightly amused.
"Yup!"
"We were together a lot?"
"Actually, it was more like he followed you around a lot, you guys usually got sent on the same missions, and when you go out on errands he usually offers to go with you…he's tried probably every trick in the book to make you laugh, just a little…"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"Did it work?"
"Nah…must've been a really dumb book"
Heero picked up his cup and took another sip before continuing:
"Quatre…" He wasn't sure of the right words to his question "How…how did you know that…that you and Trowa were…umm…were meant to be together?"
Again Quatre's eyes took on that dreamy glow "It was obvious…there was a feeling in my heart, it just seemed so right…"
"How? What do you mean by…right?"
"Just that, when I'm with him, I feel comforted, I feel safe and wanted. When he looks at me I can guess what he's thinking and I know he can read my own thoughts. I guess the most important thing is we mutually totally and completely trust each other, I have no doubts about his feelings for me and he has none towards mine. It's not something that had to be stated, we could feel it…it's what's meant to be…"
Heero tried to register all that Quatre just said. Feel totally comfortable…safe and wanted…Who did that make him think of? Totally and completely trust…
It's not like he distrusted Trowa, but…there wasn't the sense of utter and complete openness with him…just a feeling of reliance and contact due to familiar experiences…
The intimate feeling was lacking there…his infatuation with Trowa was based more on consequence than sentiments, sure, he was a good friend, but this feeling that Quatre had tried to describe to him…the "right" feeling…it was not there…
Someone else…that sense of intimacy…there was someone else…Just…
Who…?
"Heero?" Quatre's voice broke his trance "Umm…are you going to stay out here any longer?"
"Huh?" Heero looked up quickly.
"I'm going back now" Quatre stood up "You coming?"
"No…" Heero didn't want to move "I'll just stay here for a while…"
"Okay, well, don't be up too long" Quatre picked up his cup and headed back into the kitchen "I'll see you in the morning then…goodnight!"
"Night" Heero barely heard Quatre's exit, his mind was swimming. Quatre's words flowed repeatedly through his mind and he pondered them.
Comfort…security…trust…
Who was it…?
* * *
The following day, Heero found himself left alone in the house.
It was nearly high noon when he found his way out of his room again, and, shuffling into the living room, he found a note scribbled to him next to the phone:
"Hey! Heero!
Well you seemed to be sleeping like a baby so I decided not to wake you, the others are out on some type of errand or other and I've just got a call telling me there's something slightly wrong with one of the Gundams so I've been asked to go down there to help them check it out, nothing major, so I'll be home REAL soon! If you wake up before I get home then find something to do with yourself…and if you don't then you wouldn't be reading this note 'cos I would've gotten rid of it…
Okay now I'm just wasting time and energy and paper and ink…
SEE YA LATER!!!!
~~~DUO"
Heero smiled at the sight of the familiar handwriting. He tucked the note into his jeans pockets and then realized he was absolutely starving.
"Great…they've all abandoned me, they could've fed me first…"
He searched around the kitchen for a while, eventually locating a pot of leftover soup from the night before.
"Hmm…soup…" He sniffed at the contents of the container "I guess it'll do, didn't Trowa cook this? Sheesh! Where did he learn to make such chunky soup anyway?"
He shrugged "Ah well, it's better than nothing…guess I should reheat it…"
Looking around, he decided that since it was already in a metal pot he may as well use the stove instead of the microwave. But then this proved somewhat of a dilemma, none of the others had thought of teaching him to use the stove.
"Can't be that hard…right?" He looked at the dials "Okay…I think this switch is for…this…ARGH!" He jumped a bit when the blue flames of the gas cooktop shot up "Whew! Now…umm…I'll just put this…on top…" He lifted the heavy container and attempted to place it down on top of the flame, but his hands must've been more slippery than he thought, and he lost his grip on one of the handles, causing part of the contents to spill over on to the stove, distinguishing the fire and leaving an awful scorching mess.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!" Heero grabbed a dishcloth and did his best to wipe away the puddle "Damn it!!"
Just then the doorbell rang.
"Oh thank heavens!" Heero threw down the cloth and rushed to the door "Must be Duo, I'll make his do this!"
But it wasn't Duo standing outside, it was a postman.
"Is there a Heero Yuy here?" The man inquired.
"Umm…yeah that's me" Heero replied uncertainly "Can I help you?"
"Long-distance delivery package" The man handed him an enormous box with the word "Fragile" stamped all over it.
Heero peered at the box curiously, he couldn't think of who it may be from. The man handed him a form and he absently scribbled his name (Thanking the cosmos he had managed to "Learn" his own signature again) where it was indicated to do so.
"Thank you sir…oh, and by the way" The man asked before he left "Is that your real name? Heero Yuy?"
Heero was stumped for a moment, but remembered what Duo had taught him to do in case of such a situation "Just glare at them until they back off" He had said "That may sound stupid but you have no idea how effective that glare of yours is"
So Heero looked the man straight in the eyes and tried as hard as he could to be intense.
"Uh…well…never mind!" The postman seemed to get nervous all of a sudden and quickly retreated to his vehicle "Have a nice day!"
"Wow…that was easy" Heero thought as he closed the door, then he looked down at the box "Hmm…"
He carried it back to his own room and placed it down on his bed so he could study it closer. He noticed an envelope attached to top left hand side and withdrew a letter:
"My dearest Heero" It began.
What the…He frowned, who in the world would refer to him like that?! He read on:
"How have you been since we separated? I've been having the most miserable bug and have been forced to rest for three days, which meant a three day delay of my tours of the various colonies. Oh how I miss you! I wish I could be back to see you sooner but now it seems we may not be back until the start of Spring, but I promise to come and see you as soon as we arrive! I am due to be back on the first of March, so if there are no further delays then that is the day we can be reunited!
Counting the seconds until I am with my Heero again! ~~Relena Peacecraft"
"Peacecraft…" The name sounded vaguely familiar, but Heero couldn't quite remember, he looked at the printing on the stationary "From the desk of the Queen of the world" it said.
"Huh?" The phrase sounded so strange to him, in fact the whole letter was weird, it made his head spin "What kind of title is that? Queen of the…world? Is that self-proclaimed or something?"
His stomach grumbled, and he realized he still hasn't eaten anything.
"Alright alright!" He said to his tummy "I'll feed you in a moment! Be patient!"
He placed the letter back onto his bed, and attempted to lift the package again.
"Ugh!" It felt a lot heavier than it did only moments before, he could hardly move it. His arms felt weak and tired, in fact, his whole body was starting to feel weary "What have I been doing anyway?" He thought "I've only been up for a little while…then I tried to cook…shouldn't have taken that much energy…why…"
He frowned and rubbed his eyes, they were starting to feel droopy again "I'm so sleepy…I guess that's only normal since I barely slept last night…but…"
Fatigue was coming on fast and strong, and all of a sudden he just wanted to lie down and go back to sleep again.
I'll go get something to eat… He thought drowsily…Then…straight back to bed…
Leaving the package unopened, he left his room and slowly found his way back to the kitchen. Trying to remember what it was he was doing there a while earlier, he stopped at the entrance and looked around. He couldn't think properly, he was getting so exhausted…
Suddenly he gripped the side of a bench and realized he had just nearly blacked out.
"I feel so drained…" He thought "What's wrong with me? It's not just a lack of sleep that's making me so…"
He lost his grip, and felt himself falling to the floor. The impact didn't hurt him, but rather, it felt soft and painless.
Why… He tried to get up, but couldn't move…Why…am I feeling like this?... He tried to lift his arm but failed, his vision was blurring and he started to lose feeling of his body.
What is going on? He wondered groggily…What's happening to me? His eyes wandered, and he caught sight of the stovetop.
One of the dials was turned on full, and realization dawned upon him.
The gas…I never turned it off… His sense of smell came back to him, and he detected the sickly sweet odor that filled the room …I have to shut it…or else this whole place could blow up! He thought in a panic, and tried again to lift himself.
It was to no prevail, he was just too tired, his mind had hazed over and he could no longer see anything, just swirls of color before his eyes, as if a thousand camera flashes were going off in his face at once.
He closed his eyes, it was just too hard to keep them open any longer.
* * *
"Man! That's the last time I forget my keys!" Duo cursed himself as he banged on the front door "Is that guy planning to lock me out all day? HEY!! HEERO!!" He shouted.
There was no response, and Duo frowned.
"He can't possibly be still asleep! It's nearly three already!" He paused and leant in to press his ear against the door. It was utterly silent inside, and he couldn't help wonder if there was something wrong with Heero.
"What if he's sick or something...?But he seemed fine yesterday… wait a sec…" He frowned and sniffed the air.
There was a strange scent that leaked from the door frame, and he felt his blood freeze at recognition "Omigod…" His eyes widened "Gas! HEERO!!! HEERO CAN YOU HEAR ME?!!"
Still nothing, despite his thumping and yelling, the house remained absolutely quiet. He abandoned the door and ran to one of the windows which looked in to the kitchen, and peered through it.
"Heero!!" He screamed as he caught sight of the boy lying at the entrance to the kitchen, motionless, his eyes closed and his skin was a deathly pale. "Far out…HEERO!!! Oh hell…HEERO WAKE UP!!!"
The boy on the floor seemed to twitch slightly, but his eyes remained closed, Duo looked around him for something to smash the window with, his fists just weren't strong enough. But there was nothing around that looked usable.
"Dammit!" Duo's mind was filled with panic, he could only scream out his name repeatedly "Heero!! HEERO….!!!!!"
* * *
Why am I lying here like this? Heero tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt like they were made of lead…That smell… He vaguely remembered…I have to turn that gas off!
Somewhere, someone was yelling, and he strained to make out who it was, but no sound could penetrate the thick fog surrounding his head…Why…what the…
"HEERO!!"
Out of instinct he knew it was Duo's voice, even though it sounded about a million miles away…
"Duo…" He tried to call, but it came out like a croaked whisper, his lips were dry and his tongue felt swollen.
"Help me…" He whispered, behind his closed eyelids he saw Duo's face, that cheeky smile and those big cobalt eyes that pierced straight to his heart.
I'm going to die…He thought dazedly…This really…doesn't feel so bad…no pain…peace…warm…seductive…
He felt death overtaking him, stroking him like a cool, soothing breeze.
Duo…A thought entered his subconscious, almost like an apprehension before his life's end…I'll never remember my past…but I just realized…
Did I ever tell you…?
I needed you so…
…I think I love you…
He could hold on no further, and slipped into unconsciousness.
* * *
The smell was intensifying.
Duo's hands ached from the repeated beats on the window, finally, as a last resort, he withdrew his pistol and pointed it at the window. But right before he pulled the trigger, he stopped himself.
"One spark and the whole place's gonna go" He realized, breaking into a cold sweat at the thought of what he almost did "That's just not gonna work!"
There was no time to waste, he drew his arm back and flung his weapon at the glass with all his might.
The gun smashed through, creating a hole sufficient for the gas to escape, but it was still too small to enter by.
"Dammit!" He cursed and kicked at the jagged edges of the broken glass "Get out of my way!"
Finally the opening seemed big enough and he squeezed through, ignoring the slashes he was getting on his arms and legs, he jumped from the pane and dove straight at the stove. With a flick of the wrist he switched off the dial. The soft hissing sound stopped.
He leapt to where Heero lay, screaming out his name.
"HEERO!! Can you hear me?!"
No response. Duo felt as if his heart would stop beating, he reached to Heero's neck to check for a pulse.
Yes…it was there. Weak and unsteady, but at least it was there!
"Thank heavens!" He breathed, and rushed on to call the paramedics. He hated doctors, almost out of instinct he didn't trust them. But he knew that that was no time to contemplate his values, Heero needed help, immediately.
Once that was done, he went around as quickly as he could and opened all the windows and the front door before making his way back to Heero.
"It's gonna be alright…can you hear me? You're gonna be fine…okay Heero?" He brushed the brown locks out of his friends' eyes "Hang in there…"
Heero's face had turned a shade of ash-gray, and his skin felt alarmingly cold. Duo placed his hand under his nose and felt for breath.
It wasn't there…
"Omigod!!" Duo cried again "Heero!" Agonized, he felt again for a pulse, but this time there was nothing.
"Heero! You can't die!! Not like this!" He begged "Come on! You've survived worse than this before!! You can't give up now!! Not like this Heero!! I know you can make it through!! You've always made it through…!!"
But that was back then…this was now…Duo realized, Heero was no longer the perfect soldier, it's not the same anymore…
"You can't leave me like this Heero…I'm not gonna let you!"
He fell on his hands and knees, pried open Heero's mouth, titled his head back and pinched his nose shut. He then pressed his own mouth over Heero's. He breathed and counted.
"One…two…three…"
He breathed again, and counted…again, and again and again…
Don't give up on me Heero…you're not going to die like this; this wasn't how your fate was meant to be…
Don't leave me Heero…I'm not going to let you go…