CHAPTER ELEVEN
"Where the heck did they go?! Argh! Why aren't they back yet?!"
Duo impatiently paced around the living room, arms crossed, with his mouth slightly twisted, the look of anxiety written all over his face.
"Quit worrying about them Duo!" Quatre tried to reason from his position on the couch "It's only nine-thirty, it's not that late"
"You said they went out for a walk! How long can a WALK take?! Are they walking to the moon or something!?" Duo yelled, his frustration starting to take over his rationality "What if something happened to them when they were out?!"
"Calm down!" Trowa admonished as Quatre cowered back into his arms from Duo's outburst "I'm sure they're fine! Relena's got so many bodyguards I don't think anything can happen"
"That's not what I'm worried about" Duo pouted silently "Still…" He tugged at a stray strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes "He should've at least told me where he was going…"
"Heero never used to announce his next move to anyone" Wufei said "I would think you'd be used to it by now"
"That's…different" Duo argued feebly "He's…not like he used to be…and he should really be more considerate of other people's feelings anyway!"
"Since when did you become Mr. Sensitive?" Wufei was mildly amused by Duo's behavior.
"I'm not! Stop giving me that look!" He added as he noticed Wufei's mocking expression "It's just that…he shouldn't be out alone so late, it's dangerous!"
"He's not alone Duo" Quatre reminded him.
"Even more dangerous" Duo muttered under his breath. "You guys should've asked him where he was going!"
"Easier said than done"
"Still…"
"Geez Maxwell, you're making all of us jittery here, why don't you go and get some coffee or something? May calm you down" Wufei suggested.
"I am perfectly CALM!" Duo shouted "Quite telling to calm down!"
"Touché…" Trowa shook his head.
"I AM NOT…" Duo started to protest when the sound of a car pulling up was heard, he left off mid sentence and dashed to a window, just in time to see Heero wave to the departing limousine.
"Finally!" Duo cried in relief "About time!!"
He marched to the door and yanked it open to find Heero slowly making his way up the path.
"Where in this solar system did you guys go?!" He bellowed at the approaching figure "I mean…" He tried to soften his tone of voice "You could've told us where you were going…"
Heero didn't reply, he merely entered the house and stood in the front hall with a puzzled look on his face.
"Heero?" Quatre asked tentatively "You okay?"
He nodded uncertainly, and looked around for a moment before asking "Guys…umm…what's my name?"
Duo nearly fell over at the question "What the!?"
"You…you've lost your memory again Heero?!" Quatre sputtered "Is that even psychologically possible?!"
"It's alright guys, I haven't lost anything" Heero reassured quickly "It's just that…is Heero my full name?"
"Why do you ask that? Sure it is…unless…" Duo suddenly thought of something "Wait a sec here…do you remember something…like what your original name was or…" Maybe his memories were coming back!
"No…it's not that" Heero replied, much to everyone's disappointment "It's just that…well, are you sure there isn't an O in front of Heero?"
"Huh?"
"Like…you sure my name isn't O-Heero?"
"What the?!" Duo wondered if Heero had suddenly lost his sanity "What are you on about?!"
"Well it's Relena!" Heero explained "She called me that all night; whenever she wanted to say anything to me she'd call me 'O-Heero'"
For an instant, the whole room fell into silence, then everyone besides Heero burst into laughter at the realization of it all.
"Trust me buddy" Duo patted his shoulder "Your name is Heero and that's all"
"Good I hope so, I didn't like the sound of that anyway"
"So how was your…umm…walk?" Quatre inquired.
Heero shrugged "T'was okay I guess…"
"What did you think of Relena then?"
"Think of her?"
"Like…" Quatre explained "Did she…make you think of anything?" He still hasn't given up on getting Heero out of amnesia.
Heero shook his head slowly "I don't think so…although…" He tilted his head "You know how I told you guys I felt that weird feeling of…familiarity when I saw 'my' Gundam? Well…it was like that with her too, I kept getting the feeling I've seen her and heard her before, yet I can't pinpoint anything…"
"Being there" Trowa nodded empathetically "Damn that was bad!"
"What did you guys talk about anyway?" Duo tried to steer the conversation away from that topic for a while "You must've had a lot to say to each other…"
"Actually…" Heero began "For the longest time all we did was try to identify each other…"
"You let her know about your amnesia?!" Wufei yelped "Did you hear nothing of our warnings earlier?!"
"No no no! Calm down guys! I didn't mention anything about that…but the thing is…she kept telling me who I was…"
"Huh?!"
"Like, she would sort of sit and stare at me, saying 'Heero' or 'O-Heero' to me in this really…serene tone, and she kept doing it over and over until it got kinda funny…"
"Yeah…that sounds like her, she always seemed to like to say your name a lot whenever she sees you…" said Duo.
"Why does she do that anyway?"
"What? Say your name?'
"Yeah!"
Duo shrugged "Beats me, I never got it, maybe it's good for speech therapy or something…"
"Well, besides the 'O' bit, she says it really weird…I mean, it got stretched into like, seventeen syllables or something, it was actually rather amazing…"
"So what did you do while she sat there repeating your name?"
"Well I wasn't sure exactly how I should respond, so I decided to say her name to her"
"What?!" Wufei shouted in disbelief "So you two spent nearly more than twelve hours there telling each other who they were?!"
"We didn't do that for the whole day!" said Heero "This was only in the beginning, during that little car ride…it was weird…every time I said her name she'd get really excited for some odd reason…"
"Excited?"
"Yeah! She kinda gets this gleam in her eyes and she'd sort of give this little sigh" Heero tried to imitate "I don't really get why though…"
"Maybe she's got an identity crisis and needs to be reminded over and over again who she is…and with each reminder she feels like she's born anew…"
"Wufei!" Quatre cut in "That's not true!"
"Whatever" Wufei dismissed the remark.
"Anyway…" Heero continued "Each time she says my name her voice seems to get a little more high pitched, if we didn't stop to get out when we did, she probably could've crack the glass of the limo windows"
"Sounds like you guys had a real blast" Duo commented sarcastically.
"Yup, sure we did" Heero made his way over to the couch and flopped down on it "She asked me out to dinner tomorrow evening…"
"What!?" Duo cried "You're going out with her again?!"
"Well I couldn't really say no…I mean she's got the whole 'I am royalty' thing going on…kinda hard to turn down you know?"
"I guess…" Duo sulked.
"I don't get it" Wufei shook his head "Why the heck do you even want to hang out with her so much anyway?!"
"She's cute…" Heero shrugged "And besides, you guys said don't be too obvious about this…change I've gone through, so wouldn't she find it kinda suspicious if I don't talk to her anymore?"
Trowa almost laughed at the irony "Heero, you never used to talk to her"
"I didn't?!"
"Well…maybe you told her you were gonna kill her a couple of times…"
"Oh yeah! That was another thing!" Heero exclaimed "She kept saying something about me killing her…it sounded really confusing so I kinda tuned out…what's that about anyway?!"
"Long story…" said Trowa "Tell you another day…"
"Hmm…it was really bizarre… made me sound like an assassin or something"
"You have no idea…"
"So do you have any other dates planned?" Duo asked with a hint of jealousy in his voice "With the queen I mean?"
Heero failed to pick up that hint "Nah…" He stood up and stretched "Man! I'm beat! Hanging out with her is exhausting! She's got more energy going there than Duo does! 'Night guys!"
The others watched him disappear into Duo's room.
"Hmm…is this a good thing, or a bad thing?" Quatre looked up at Trowa "I mean, it's good that he's getting along well with Relena right? But then…maybe it's not so good…what if she finds out and…"
"That's not the only thing to worry about" Wufei interrupted "I can almost bet tomorrow night's not gonna be the last of their little encounters"
"What do you mean?!" Duo demanded.
"Think about it, Heero's actually being nice to her, and I don't mean polite passerby kind of niceness…he thought she was an old friend or something, so you can imagine how he would've treated her this afternoon…ugh…plus he's going out with her tomorrow night…Sheesh! They're practically dating man! You think she's not gonna take up follow-ups to that one?!"
"But…but…" Duo stuttered, what he wanted to say was "Heero's taken" but felt a bit awkward in proclaiming something like that, despite the fact it was really common knowledge by then anyway.
"Shouldn't matter too much…" Duo tried to be open-minded about it "So she wants to spend time with him, so he thinks she's cute…so they have a little fun together, nothing wrong with all that…"
"No…Unless…" Trowa gazed at Duo's face "Unless he really starts liking her…"
"He can like her…what's up with that? Quatre likes her…"
"Duo you know that's not what I'm saying" Trowa said steadily "You know how she feels for him…what would you do if he felt the same way about her?"
Duo swallowed, he didn't want to think about that "He wouldn't…I know he wouldn't…they're just friends…"
"Let's hope it stays that way"
Duo met Trowa's eyes, he knew what his friend was trying to imply and warn him against, but what could he do? He couldn't stop Heero from seeing Relena if that's what he wanted to do, he shouldn't be so possessive…
"Nah…nothing will happen…" He decided as he retreated to his room "I'm sure it'll all be fine…I can trust Heero…"
"Right…?"
* * *
That dream…
That same dream…the running, the fire, the burning, the pain…that feeling of helplessness and endlessness, the panicked sensation of entrapment…
"Help me!" Heero cried as he jolted up in bed, covered in cold sweat and panting wildly, his eyes searched frantically around the darkened room "Help me! Duo!"
"I'm here Heero!" The familiar voice sounded beside him, and a light was flicked on "What is it? What's wrong?!" Duo asked desperately as he held Heero's shoulders "Heero? What is it?!"
"I don't know!" Heero threw his arms around Duo's neck "I don't know!" He sobbed as if he was a child "I keep having this nightmare…"
"That same nightmare?" Duo asked, patting him gently, Heero had mentioned it to him before, but it hadn't occurred for a long time, and his reactions to it were never this bad "The one where you were running?"
Heero nodded and sniffed "I don't know what it's trying to tell me! It has to mean something! Or else why would it keep coming back to haunt me?! Why?! Why?! Why?!"
"Heero…" Duo didn't know what to say, it was a situation he had never pictured before.
"Why?!" He repeated "Every time I try and move on in my life and not be affected by my amnesia this dream would come back…every time! I don't get it! Why?!"
Duo closed his eyes "I knew this was going to hard on him…I just never thought it'd come to this…"
Perhaps it was the re-meeting with Relena, perhaps every time a figure from his past came into his present, something inside his mind would be triggered and then the dream…
Fire…flames…burning…pain…
Duo was sure this was a scene Heero had encountered sometime during the war, possibly more than once, possibly on a regular basis, he couldn't be sure, and now, such a scene terrified him, made him weep like a little baby, Duo's heart clenched "Heero…"
"I'm so lost Duo…" Heero whispered on his shoulder "Sometimes I feel so perfectly normal…like there's nothing wrong with me, I feel like I really belong…"
"You do belong Heero…" Duo soothed.
"But then at other times…I just get so confused and frustrated, I mean, I want to know who I was, I want to remember…but then every time there's even a hint of my past revealed to me I'd have nightmares…then I'd be lost all over again…"
Duo felt his arms tighten around him, they were trembling.
"What am I going to do Duo? I can't take this type of rollercoaster ride any longer…who knows when the next time would be…I hate that! I hate it!!"
"I know…" Duo held the boy closer to himself "I can imagine how you feel…but you're going to get through this Heero, I promise! You have me, remember?"
"Yes…"
"Whenever you feel frightened, or lost, or angry or hurt or anything…you can always come to me, I'll be here for you; you don't have to take this on your own…"
"But…I'm so unsure of everything…how can I be sure that you'll be there…"
Duo tipped Heero's chin up and his startling cobalt eyes pierced straight into Heero's heart.
"Don't ever doubt that…that's one thing you can trust…always"
Without further hesitation, he closed the last few inches between their faces, and kissed Heero on the lips.
Soft…slow…yet passionate…
Heero's breathing slowed, and his body relaxed.
Comfort…safety…trust…
He felt himself being placed softly back upon his pillow, and Duo's hands stroking across his cheeks and forehead.
"I love you Duo…" He whispered, his eyes closed tranquilly "I love you so much…"
Duo watched Heero as he started to drift off at last, holding on to those last few uttered words. He held one of Heero's hands and brought his fingers up to his lips, brushing against them softly…
And I won't doubt you Heero…no matter what anyone else may think…I know I can trust you, I know you feel towards me the way I do you…
He gazed towards the window, outside, the moon shone bright.
Please…He prayed in his heart…Let him get well soon…