Eric Camden's Wedding Homily
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to see that this man and this woman might be joined in matrimony. It was many years ago that I first was brought by Annie, my wonderful and loving wife into marriage. I remember like it was yesterday how loving she was when she told me we were getting married, ane when she told me which tuxedo to wear for the wedding, showed the chapel, and told me which members of my family were going to be in the wedding. I was so excited when I learned that she had chosen one of my former bandmembers to be my best man. It was truly a happy day.
Married life has been blissful for me, as I am sure it will be for you both. Young man, you may think it difficult at first to say goodbye to the friends that your wife has not chosen for you, but I assure you that the friends she says you can have will be wonderful. I know the friends Annie has chosen for me have been very good to me and her both.
My wife's love and care for me has only grown through the years. When children first came into our life, I feared that their introduction into our life might make conflict between us. At first it did, such as the time when I foolishly questioned my wife after she had rightfully punished Baby Matt for playing with the wrong children at his baby play group. I was so naïve then that I didn't even realized that 6 month old babies were capable of choosing their playmates, and objected to her taking him away from the toys. When Annie let me out of the basement later that week, however, I realized the error of my ways and was willing to yield to her obviously superior point of view. I had to yield, you see, because marriage is a 2 way street.
Children, I hope, will bless you both as you live your married life in many an unexpected way. At first I questioned the wisdom of allowing Robbie, the felonious boyfriend of my daughter, living in our house with us, as did Annie, especially when romance bloomed between him and Lucy, my other daughter. My loving wife, though seemed to have solved that problem, however, simply by spending a few minutes alone with him in his room. He howled after that conversation, but I'm certain it was a howl of delight. He totally changed his ways. For insrance, it was at that time that Robbie joined the church choir, as a soprano.
You will find that when you are blessed with children, they occasionally need guidance. I remember like it was yesterday when Mary once became lost at the shopping mall. It was quite frightening to her, and she wandered the mall for hours and even feared she might be lost for days! Ah, the innocence of young children. We found her, however, after only a short while, however, and indeed she seemed to have forgotten the incident by the time of her High School graduation that Saturday.
Beloved, allow me to break the fourth wall, if this were a stage play, and tell you that the email address of the author of this homily is FunnyHatUS@yahoo.com. Thank you.
And you will see that marriage is a partnership in raising children. When my other son Simon went out on a date one Friday evening, for example, I was dismayed when Annie informed me that we did not approve of the object of his affection. I would have not known this if we had not been part of a loving partnership. When he went out with the young lady again the next night, we again formed a team, and while I am taller than Annie I agreed that it made the most sense for me to be the one in the trunk of Simon's car because her smaller size would be easier to climb through the young lady's bedroom window and hide under her bed.
Yes, you embarking on a blissful adventure. I promise that in a few years, you will not only have lost the will to run away and live in another country, you will have lost the mental capacity to wish for such a thing either.
May I have the chains. I'm sorry, I of course mean may I have the rings..
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to see that this man and this woman might be joined in matrimony. It was many years ago that I first was brought by Annie, my wonderful and loving wife into marriage. I remember like it was yesterday how loving she was when she told me we were getting married, ane when she told me which tuxedo to wear for the wedding, showed the chapel, and told me which members of my family were going to be in the wedding. I was so excited when I learned that she had chosen one of my former bandmembers to be my best man. It was truly a happy day.
Married life has been blissful for me, as I am sure it will be for you both. Young man, you may think it difficult at first to say goodbye to the friends that your wife has not chosen for you, but I assure you that the friends she says you can have will be wonderful. I know the friends Annie has chosen for me have been very good to me and her both.
My wife's love and care for me has only grown through the years. When children first came into our life, I feared that their introduction into our life might make conflict between us. At first it did, such as the time when I foolishly questioned my wife after she had rightfully punished Baby Matt for playing with the wrong children at his baby play group. I was so naïve then that I didn't even realized that 6 month old babies were capable of choosing their playmates, and objected to her taking him away from the toys. When Annie let me out of the basement later that week, however, I realized the error of my ways and was willing to yield to her obviously superior point of view. I had to yield, you see, because marriage is a 2 way street.
Children, I hope, will bless you both as you live your married life in many an unexpected way. At first I questioned the wisdom of allowing Robbie, the felonious boyfriend of my daughter, living in our house with us, as did Annie, especially when romance bloomed between him and Lucy, my other daughter. My loving wife, though seemed to have solved that problem, however, simply by spending a few minutes alone with him in his room. He howled after that conversation, but I'm certain it was a howl of delight. He totally changed his ways. For insrance, it was at that time that Robbie joined the church choir, as a soprano.
You will find that when you are blessed with children, they occasionally need guidance. I remember like it was yesterday when Mary once became lost at the shopping mall. It was quite frightening to her, and she wandered the mall for hours and even feared she might be lost for days! Ah, the innocence of young children. We found her, however, after only a short while, however, and indeed she seemed to have forgotten the incident by the time of her High School graduation that Saturday.
Beloved, allow me to break the fourth wall, if this were a stage play, and tell you that the email address of the author of this homily is FunnyHatUS@yahoo.com. Thank you.
And you will see that marriage is a partnership in raising children. When my other son Simon went out on a date one Friday evening, for example, I was dismayed when Annie informed me that we did not approve of the object of his affection. I would have not known this if we had not been part of a loving partnership. When he went out with the young lady again the next night, we again formed a team, and while I am taller than Annie I agreed that it made the most sense for me to be the one in the trunk of Simon's car because her smaller size would be easier to climb through the young lady's bedroom window and hide under her bed.
Yes, you embarking on a blissful adventure. I promise that in a few years, you will not only have lost the will to run away and live in another country, you will have lost the mental capacity to wish for such a thing either.
May I have the chains. I'm sorry, I of course mean may I have the rings..