Scene: Camden Living Room. Rev. and Mrs. Camden seated
Enter Mary and a man
Reverend: Hi Mary! Um, well, how are you? Who is this/
Mary: This is my new boyfriend. I hate both of you, because you will both try and dissuade him from going out with me.
Reverend: That's a pretty big word for you to be using, Mary.
Mary: Dissuade?
Reverend: Actually, I meant "is."
Mrs. Camden: Mary, why don't you tell us who your boyfriend is?
Mary: I hate how you always boss me around! I'm leaving, and am moving to another state. That's it! I'm going to San Francisco.
Reverend: Well, Mary, you know, San Francisco is a city and not a state, and it's in California, which is the same state we are in now.
Mary: Oh, Dad, you are so right! I'm so sorry! I'll never doubt you again. Let's have a tearful reckoning. I still plan to resent the rest of the family, however, for not particular reason.
Reverend: Right. So who is the boyfriend?
Mary: Oh right. This is Charles de Gaulle, former President of France and a leader in the French resistance during the War. He didn't say which war that was, though. I think things will work out well between us, even though he's about 90 years older than I am, and has been dead for a number of years.
De Gaulle: Bonjour, Monsieur et Madame. Comment allez-vous?
Mrs. Camden: Umm, Mary, let's have a talk in the other room. K?
[Exit Mary, Mrs. Camden]
Reverend: Well, Charles, how did you and Mary meet?
De Gaulle: Ensemble, nous allons achever le victoire! Vive la France libre!
Reverend: So you met at the library? Is that what you said?
De Gaulle: Qui est cet idiot?
Reverend: You know, I think you need to come live with us now. I think that's the only way for things to work out for the best.
De Gaulle: D'accord, Papa.
Reverend: See, you're already calling me, Papa. I love you like a son. You can live in the room above the attic, which is free now that Lucy's last boyfriend David went back to hosting the Late Show.
[Enter David Letterman]
Letterman: Hi Dad!
Reverend: David! What are you doing here? I thought you went back to New York?
Letterman: I did, but somehow I felt it was best to drop in on you. I wanted to mention that the author of this little parody has the email funnyhatus@yahoo.com, and has a website with the URL www.geocities.com/funnyhatus. Can I mention that?
Reverend: Sure.
Letterman: Hey, what is Charles de Gaulle doing here? I bet he's going to try and move in on Lucy! Hey!
Reverend: Sorry, Letterman, you broke up with her. Time for you to go.
[Exit Letterman]
[Enter Lucy, Mrs. Camden]
Mrs. Camden: General de Gaulle, I know this won't be easy, but I think it's best if you don't go out with Mary any more. Right Mary?
Mary: I'm sorry Charles, but I went out with you because I was on the rebound from my other 17 boyfriends this week. Dad, can he move in above the attic?
Reverend: Yes, and not only that, I want him to deliver the sermon next week at church. How's that sound, Charles?
De Gaulle: Vive la France! Vive la Liberte!
[end]
Enter Mary and a man
Reverend: Hi Mary! Um, well, how are you? Who is this/
Mary: This is my new boyfriend. I hate both of you, because you will both try and dissuade him from going out with me.
Reverend: That's a pretty big word for you to be using, Mary.
Mary: Dissuade?
Reverend: Actually, I meant "is."
Mrs. Camden: Mary, why don't you tell us who your boyfriend is?
Mary: I hate how you always boss me around! I'm leaving, and am moving to another state. That's it! I'm going to San Francisco.
Reverend: Well, Mary, you know, San Francisco is a city and not a state, and it's in California, which is the same state we are in now.
Mary: Oh, Dad, you are so right! I'm so sorry! I'll never doubt you again. Let's have a tearful reckoning. I still plan to resent the rest of the family, however, for not particular reason.
Reverend: Right. So who is the boyfriend?
Mary: Oh right. This is Charles de Gaulle, former President of France and a leader in the French resistance during the War. He didn't say which war that was, though. I think things will work out well between us, even though he's about 90 years older than I am, and has been dead for a number of years.
De Gaulle: Bonjour, Monsieur et Madame. Comment allez-vous?
Mrs. Camden: Umm, Mary, let's have a talk in the other room. K?
[Exit Mary, Mrs. Camden]
Reverend: Well, Charles, how did you and Mary meet?
De Gaulle: Ensemble, nous allons achever le victoire! Vive la France libre!
Reverend: So you met at the library? Is that what you said?
De Gaulle: Qui est cet idiot?
Reverend: You know, I think you need to come live with us now. I think that's the only way for things to work out for the best.
De Gaulle: D'accord, Papa.
Reverend: See, you're already calling me, Papa. I love you like a son. You can live in the room above the attic, which is free now that Lucy's last boyfriend David went back to hosting the Late Show.
[Enter David Letterman]
Letterman: Hi Dad!
Reverend: David! What are you doing here? I thought you went back to New York?
Letterman: I did, but somehow I felt it was best to drop in on you. I wanted to mention that the author of this little parody has the email funnyhatus@yahoo.com, and has a website with the URL www.geocities.com/funnyhatus. Can I mention that?
Reverend: Sure.
Letterman: Hey, what is Charles de Gaulle doing here? I bet he's going to try and move in on Lucy! Hey!
Reverend: Sorry, Letterman, you broke up with her. Time for you to go.
[Exit Letterman]
[Enter Lucy, Mrs. Camden]
Mrs. Camden: General de Gaulle, I know this won't be easy, but I think it's best if you don't go out with Mary any more. Right Mary?
Mary: I'm sorry Charles, but I went out with you because I was on the rebound from my other 17 boyfriends this week. Dad, can he move in above the attic?
Reverend: Yes, and not only that, I want him to deliver the sermon next week at church. How's that sound, Charles?
De Gaulle: Vive la France! Vive la Liberte!
[end]