Here's chapter two of a story about a guy that I don't own.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I don't really know how long I was sleeping, but boy was I scared shitless after I peeked out of one eye. Expecting to find myself passed out on the couch like I usually ended up, I was a bit surprised to find myself lying on the ground. But it wasn't just any ground...this ground was yellow and shiny. It reminded me of my sennen rod.

Sitting up, I looked around, and as if the gold ground wasn't strange enough...there was sporadic fog wafting in the air...I must be having one of those hallucinations that my therapist was talking about. I turned my head both ways and gazed at a vast nothingness. I mean, there was absolutely nothing save for the few patches of fog and one long golden street that seemed to run on forever in both directions.

After a moment of thought, I made up my mind to go back home...that is...if I could figure out how to get there. It didn't look as though there would be anybody to ask for directions along the way, and I most certainly have never been in this strange neighborhood before.

Getting to my feet I decided that the best way to figure out which way to go was to close my eyes, spin around, and point. And in so doing, I'm sure I'll find my way home. But I bet Isis is still going to be pissed at me. Oh well.

Shrugging, I started on my way, while hoping that maybe she cleaned up my kitchen while I was gone...my kitchen filled with puke....my kitchen filled with puke because I drank some beer...my kitchen filled with puke because I drank some beer with the Ebola virus in it...my kitchen filled with puke because I drank some beer with the Ebola virus in it that a dumb shit head named Bakura put in it.

One of two things will happen. A. I'll find my way home, or B. I'll just wander around aimlessly until I wake up. That is, if I'm even asleep. I don't ever remember having hallucinations this vivid, even when I was drunk. Then again, I never had the Ebola virus in my system either. This wasn't such a bad thing, why doesn't everyone like the Ebola virus? It's harmless...and you get some very strange and realistic dreams. When I wake up I might just have to ask Bakura for some more!

One things for certain, I'm in a better mood then I've been in for quite some time. It's like I don't have any worries anymore, just walking down this shiny road with my hands in my pockets taking in the wonderful...eh hem...shall I say shitty scenery. You know, the more I think about it, the less I want some more of that virus. This dream is boring as hell. Speaking of hell, I liked that dream I had earlier, when I was in hell, dreaming about beating the shit out of Bakura. Why couldn't I be dreaming that again? This dream was a waist of my unconscious time!

Pitting myself into a downward spiral, I walked for what felt like an eternity until I happened to see a few people lined up in front of a shiny gate. To my amusement, there was an old man sitting at a desk in front of everyone. He had a file cabinet next to his desk, but I was too far away to really see what was going on. So, just for the hell of it, I decided to go over there. Maybe somebody could tell me where I was, and how the hell I could get home.

Passing everybody in the line, I walked up to the old fart and cleared my throat. But he seemed to be paying no mind to me.

"Um, hello?" I asked.

"Take a number and get in line." He replied, pushing that red thing that you pull a number out of over to me. You know, it's like those things they have in butcher shops. Well, I didn't need to wait in line just to ask for directions, I mean, who the fuck does this old guy think he is?

"Listen here you old geezer. All I need to know is how I can get home!" I yelled, my patients growing thin.

"Home?" He grinned. "Home?!?" To my utter amazement, he started laughing at me! What the fuck? He's laughing at me!

"Please sir, just get in line, and when it's your turn, I just might be able to help you with your...uh, problem."

"Yea, well you know what I think?" I felt the sudden urge to do something drastic. "You can take your number and shove it!" I turned around to the shiny gate that was behind me, unzipped my pants and whipped it out. Yea, I was going to piss all over this damn thing.

"Sir, I wouldn't do that...p-please sir..."

Like hell I was going to listen to him. Oh, here it comes. I felt the warm liquid emerging, and I positioned myself and let her rip. Ahh, this had to be one of the best ideas of my life. Ha ha ha just look at his face...But suddenly, I felt a warm sensation all over my body, a bit uncomfortable at first, it soon grew to unbelievable, intense pain.

"Ahhh!" I screamed, quickly tucking myself back in and sipping up my pants. The shock was moving through my entire body, causing me to convulse with pain.

After about five minutes of this torture, I finally felt it subsiding. Glaring at the old man, I spoke to him. "What the hell was that?!?"

"Our gate...it's electric." He said monotonously while continuing to work with the people in line.

"Oh really? Well you could have told me that BEFORE I decided to piss on it!"

"Sir, I tried, but you just wouldn't listen. Now, if you please." He directed my attention to the red number thingee.

Hastily I walked over, and with a sour expression I took the damn number and walked to the end of the short line. I watched as he talked to the person in the front of the line. After a few minutes went by I saw him reach to the side of his desk and push a red button. Then I saw that person simply fall through the floor. Ok, that was strange.

One by one all the people in front of me ended up falling through the god damn floor. Yup, this is one strange dream.

But finally it was my turn. And about time! It took that old man damn near forever to get to me. And all I needed was the answer to one fucking question.

"Name." I heard him ask me, interrupting my thoughts.

"What's that matter, all I want to know is-"

"Name please." He interrupted.

"Ok ok, don't shit yourself!" I shouted, only to have him glair at me.

"Young man, please watch your tongue."

"Yea, ok, whatever. My name's Malik."

"Last name?"

"Ishtar."

I saw him open up his file cabinet and pull out this huge ass book. Just great, now the old fart's going to start reading and forget that I'm even here!

"Look, I just want to find my way-"

"Shush!" He spat. Jesus Christ, this man has got some nerve! Shushing me! Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Malik....Ishtar, Malik..." I saw him running his finger through the book. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to look, obviously you're not going to get in." He said with a chuckle.

Get in? Get in where? What the hell is he reading anyway? Suddenly he looked up from the book and stared at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Tell me Malik, why do you think that you should get into heaven?" He sat back in his chair and continued to watch me.

"Heaven? What the hell is heaven?" And why is he asking me why I think I should get into it? All I want to do is go home!

He looked at me, with his eyes wide, like I offended him or something...well, I guess I did...but who gives a flying fuck?

So I stood there, trying to think. Heaven...hm, heaven? Why does that name ring a bell? Oh! Of course! How could I have forgotten?!

"Oh! Heaven!" I said with a laugh. "Yea, this must be that new nightclub I heard about. Man, I didn't know you guys were open already or else I would have swung by a loooong time ago!" I paused when I noticed that he still looked totally shocked. "You wanted to know why I think that I should get in? Well, I swear to Ra that I'm over eighteen 'I have a fake ID to prove it'...and I already have enough alcohol in me to kill a moose, so I ain't getting any drunker, and...hm, I promise I won't kill anybody like I did in that other nightclub. Oh, and I am a really good dancer."

The man shook his head. No! I want to get in! I love nightclubs!

"I'm sorry Malik, but I think we're on two different levels here. I have no choice but to send you to..." There was a ring and I saw him pick up the phone and spin his chair around. "Uh huh...yes...yes boss I understand...but, but he's just so...well...uh huh...I hope you know what you're doing...oh yes, of course you do, how silly of me...yes, bu buy now."

He turned and glared at me as if I had just ruined his day. Oh goody! That makes me soo happy!

"You're one lucky guy Malik Ishtar. I just sent five people to hell because they didn't tithe, and you're ass gets into heaven after you've (goes on for fifteen minutes reading off the list of all the bad things Malik Ishtar has done in his short sixteen years)." I heard him groan and then he pressed the white button that was nest to the red one. The gates behind his desk slowly lurched open, allowing me to enter. Score! I got into heaven! Bakura is going to be so jealous when I tell him!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This story still ahs a little ways to go before the actual plot begins. Yes, this story does have a meaning, or else I wouldn't write it. Just be patient with me, first person fics are not my thing, but as always, I will do my best.